"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo (1 Viewer)

[Keerock]

Alyssa was supposed to go the same way. We should have been the college sweethearts that graduate, get married, have kids, and celebrate 50 years of being together. It didn't happen that way and as much as I want that script to play out with me being the unyielding Romeo... I'm slowly coming to realize that's not how life works despite how my life has been so far.

So no I'm clinically depressed. I just haven't had any adversity to fight through and so far I haven't done much fighting.

But you can't be "Romeo"... "Romeo" is for tall white dudes.

Not necessarily

Word

 

[Quint]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

true. and it doesn't make it any less self-destructive.

feel free to differentiate yourself from the masses. might gain some perspective and self respect.

 

[comfortably numb]

Logic doesn't work in here dude.

I know. I've read the thread for months. I'm just having a frustrating day and finally couldn't hold it in anymore.

I understand the frustration. I want to slap the #### out this guy.

How old is he? 30-ish?

I think he's in his mid- to late-20s. Honestly, people are being a little too hard on 16. He's young enough that he should get a little slack when he makes mistakes.

I don't have any issue with his mistakes. Mistakes happen, and they happen at all ages. To everyone. The issue I have is with his attitude about all of this, and the self-important, self-aggrandizing, nearly-year-long obsession with proving just how badly he got screwed over by dragging it out to be the defining moment in his life and trying to heap all of his problems onto other people and ask them to feel badly for him for all that time. That's not a mistake, that's a major life problem and it's beginning to border on becoming his entire personality. That's a bad thing.That said, him being sub-30 makes sense. Hopefully that'll all work itself out in the next couple years.

I've wondered a few times if 16 isn't clinically depressed. I've had low-grade depression on and off since high school which I currently self-medicate with alcohol, and I see a lot of the same thought patterns in 16's posts that I once had.

Yeah, I feel the same way. He may need some kind of low-level medication for a year or so to try to remember what it's like to live in a state other than the one he's been living in.As a side note, medicating depression with alcohol isn't the best idea in the world, as I'm sure you know.

Not depressed at all, just a heartbroken guy who has yet to fully come to grasp that life isn't always a fairy tale. I mean I knew there are difficult times in life and that they happen. Visiting family in a 3rd world country will keep you in check, but up until this point my life has been uneventful. Just didn't think it would happen to me.My parents have been married for 26 years, are in good health, and have stable careers. My brother and I have always been loved, supported, and given almost everything we could want. No deaths have really affected me aside from that of my grandfather, but even then he was old so it was more natural. School academically and socially has always been easy for me. I got good grades without having to devote my entire life to studying (by force or desire). I was never picked on and always had an easy time making and keeping friends. The friends I do have, I have been able to surround myself with generally good people so I've never dealt with the law or #######s. It took a year out of college, but I'm finally working in my career..one that I enjoy and pays decently.Alyssa was supposed to go the same way. We should have been the college sweethearts that graduate, get married, have kids, and celebrate 50 years of being together. It didn't happen that way and as much as I want that script to play out with me being the unyielding Romeo... I'm slowly coming to realize that's not how life works despite how my life has been so far.So no I'm not clinically depressed and I refuse to take psych meds (working in a psych unit, I see what they do to people). I just haven't had any adversity to fight through and so far I haven't done much fighting.

With many good/bad times in life, I try to classify them as chapters to help deal and move past things.Life is always changing. Bringing people into and out of your life.Alyssa has been a big chapter in your life...while you are dragging this chapter out more than it needs to be it is a chapter that needs to end.Your life is a book, and you have many many more chapters to fill.This next chapter may not have been the way you wanted it to read, but guess what, many more will not be either.Learn and move on with your new wisdom. I know in your mind, you would rather stay and use what you have learned to build a better relationship with Alyssa, all that means is you really haven't learned anything. I'm still pulling for you, you big doosh!

 

[jamny]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

 

[No. 16]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

 

[comfortably numb]

I appreciate what you wrote a bunch. The reason I share everything here is because of that wisdom and perspective you guys have. I sit through all the ball busting, because of posts like yours. Thank you.

You sound like something has your attention right now, so I'm going to reiterate what Ivan and I were discussing a few posts up.Go talk to a therapist and a psychiatrist. Tell those two exactly what's going on and that two different people on an anonymous message board thought some kind of medication might help you. Laugh when you say it if you want, but ask them what they think and whether they think they can help you with a short-term (year-long, or so) low-level medication solution. Tell them you never thought about taking psych meds before, but that you're willing to try anything if it means you don't have to live in a life that's so filled with drama all the time.Seriously, it might actually completely change your life. If it does what it's done for lots of other people, it could give you real perspective in a way you've never had before, and you wouldn't have to be on it for the rest of your life or anything.This chick wasn't your soul mate. She wasn't your "one and only." She was some woman who you shouldn't obsess over now that you're in the place that you're in. Your relationship with her is toxic, and the more you think it was a fantastic relationship, the more convinced I am that you need to speak with a professional. The psych kind.

Not that I am 100% anti med guy, but, you go from essentially telling him to deal with life to take meds temporarily to help deal with life?As you said, he is going through something everyone goes through in life.Just not sure getting him on meds is a good way to start dealing with life's "smaller" problems, like breaking up with a gf.

That's why it's good that I can't prescribe them. I'm not telling him to go on meds, I'm telling him he should go talk to a professional, because he's been exhibiting signs of depression and self-destructive behavior for the last eight months. That's definitely in the area of needing professional intervention, medication or otherwise, before it irreparably changes his personality.

Fair enough.I just feel people are a bit too quick to get on meds. If this is the 1st thing he is really dealing with in life, finding away to mentally get through and become stronger as opposed to getting on meds (even temporarily) would be more ideal for his future hardships in life.

I agree. Or I did eight months ago, at any rate. He clearly thinks he needs some kind of therapy - it's what's going on in this thread. I think the only question is whether he needs medication as well, which he should have a professional evaluate before he makes more decisions that really will affect him for the rest of his life.As for the "suck it up and take responsibility" post - yes. That still holds true. But part of taking responsibility for your life is getting help when you need it, not just "cowboying up" when it isn't something he's capable of yet.

Fair enough, it has been 8 months, not like were talking about a weekend.

 

[jamny]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

There you go again. You're a glutton for punishment.

 

[Zegras11]

This thread is like watching an episode of the Brady Bunch when I was a kid.

 

[Quint]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

serious question: how have your party habits (drinking, drugs, clubbing) changed between 21 and 27? more? less? the same?

 

[sbonomo]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I was about to post the exact thing verbatim. I have always thought 16 was right out of school. This poor guy is a disaster.

 

[sbonomo]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

I don't think you get it....your life, your maturity level, the relationships you have built, ETC make sense for a 21-22 year old. Time to do some growing up.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.

Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

 

[Quint]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

not really. but when your desire is to settle down with the woman you love, make babies, and life happily ever after, then i could see it as a roadblock.

 

[No. 16]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

serious question: how have your party habits (drinking, drugs, clubbing) changed between 21 and 27? more? less? the same?

Basically, I've just begun to party more and do drugs now that we've been broken up. When I was with her we'd go out clubbing for birthdays and the occasional kick back or house party here and there.

Now, that I'm single my "partying" has increased but honestly don't think it's as much as it seems. This past month, the only time I've been drunk was when I met the pre-school teacher. Aside from that haven't done much drinking or partying lately. I've hung out with my friends while they drink and party, but I'm not drinking since I've often had work and the IID.

 

[No. 16]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Seriously.

 

[jamny]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

I don't really care about the partying. This whole thread just reads like the life of an 18-22 year old, not someone who is pushing 30.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

And when you're 30 you'll laugh at the idea of a serious relationship at the age of 25. And so on and so forth. Such is life. And what's with people ripping 16 for partying? He screwed up with the DUI. As far as I know he still drinks and he still drives...he just no longer does them together. That's a sign of maturity and fixing mistakes. He's got a career and generally seems to have his crap together. He's 27, has a good job, is single, and makes decent coin. He SHOULD be partying it up. As long as it doesn't come at the expense of your responsibilities (and he seems to have straightened that out), the dude should be banging every woman he can, drinking heavily, going to Vegas, and partying with friends. This is the time in your life you should be doing exactly what he's doing (minus the ex trainwreck). Family responsibilities will come soon enough.

 

[Quint]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

serious question: how have your party habits (drinking, drugs, clubbing) changed between 21 and 27? more? less? the same?

Basically, I've just begun to party more and do drugs now that we've been broken up. When I was with her we'd go out clubbing for birthdays and the occasional kick back or house party here and there.

Now, that I'm single my "partying" has increased but honestly don't think it's as much as it seems. This past month, the only time I've been drunk was when I met the pre-school teacher. Aside from that haven't done much drinking or partying lately. I've hung out with my friends while they drink and party, but I'm not drinking since I've often had work and the IID.

follow up questions: when you were together, did she ever comment about how much partying you did? ever get in a fight after going out? did she complain about your friends and how much they were partying?

 

[snapperhead]

and how is rusty doing ???

 

[No. 16]

Just wondering what you categorize as self-destructive behavior aside form the DUI?

Binge drinking, drug use, irresponsible and dangerous unprotected sexual activity with high-risk partners,continuing to get involved with your ex-girlfriend despite the fact that she's lying to you and treating you terribly... and yes, the DUI.

I think that's most 20-somethings.

That's lots of 22-year-olds. You're not 22.

Exactly. I only found out he's 27 a few pages back. I thought he was 22 or 23. Big difference and really makes the whole thing more sad.

I don't think I would be this affected about having a 7 year relationship that started in high school. There's difference between being in a relationship from 15-22 and 19-26, IMO.

serious question: how have your party habits (drinking, drugs, clubbing) changed between 21 and 27? more? less? the same?

Basically, I've just begun to party more and do drugs now that we've been broken up. When I was with her we'd go out clubbing for birthdays and the occasional kick back or house party here and there.

Now, that I'm single my "partying" has increased but honestly don't think it's as much as it seems. This past month, the only time I've been drunk was when I met the pre-school teacher. Aside from that haven't done much drinking or partying lately. I've hung out with my friends while they drink and party, but I'm not drinking since I've often had work and the IID.

follow up questions: when you were together, did she ever comment about how much partying you did? ever get in a fight after going out? did she complain about your friends and how much they were partying?

She would complain when I would pass out, but that was far more rare than when I would have to take care of her when she got drunk. Most times she got drunk and I had to stay relatively sober to take care of her. We never fought after drinking. We always had a good time.

Nope, never complained. Like I said we only went out for birthdays and if there were no birthdays that month we'd hangout at my place and drink. So at most we got drunk 2-3 times a month if that.

We were in college and in love. Our free time/weekends were spent working in restaurants and that pretty much kills your weekends and going out. We'd both just come home after a shift and watch TV.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

I don't really care about the partying. This whole thread just reads like the life of an 18-22 year old, not someone who is pushing 30.

or a 27yo who is newly single and living in a city that has tons of opportunities to go out and have fun

 

[Henry Ford]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.

Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

Dude already said he just wants a job where he makes decent money and has the free time to go have fun/make memories. Now is exactly the time in life to do just that.

 

[jamny]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

I don't really care about the partying. This whole thread just reads like the life of an 18-22 year old, not someone who is pushing 30.

or a 27yo who is newly single and living in a city that has tons of opportunities to go out and have fun

again, nothing to do with the partying. Have at it, no problems. I'm talking about the ability to rationally handle the situation with the girlfriend. He seems like a bright enough guy but his actions and reactions come across very juvenile.

 

[comfortably numb]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

I don't really care about the partying. This whole thread just reads like the life of an 18-22 year old, not someone who is pushing 30.

or a 27yo who is newly single and living in a city that has tons of opportunities to go out and have fun

again, nothing to do with the partying. Have at it, no problems. I'm talking about the ability to rationally handle the situation with the girlfriend. He seems like a bright enough guy but his actions and reactions come across very juvenile.

Keep partying 16, just start growing up in the process.

 

[Henry Ford]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

Great. If I were No. 16, my goal would be to put together some life tools so that the next time I break up with a girlfriend I don't end up in a downward spiral that includes me still sending and receiving hate texts from that ex 8 months later while I'm hoping I don't lose my job or have an STD, and maybe even to start living my life in such a way as to find a real life partner who I can have a healthy relationship with sometime in the future. The amount of partying he's done during this time would interfere with the goals I would have. It doesn't sound like your goals would have been affected at all.

 

[Rick James]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

Great. If I were No. 16, my goal would be to put together some life tools so that the next time I break up with a girlfriend I don't end up in a downward spiral that includes me still sending and receiving hate texts from that ex 8 months later while I'm hoping I don't lose my job or have an STD, and maybe even to start living my life in such a way as to find a real life partner who I can have a healthy relationship with sometime in the future. The amount of partying he's done during this time would interfere with the goals I would have. It doesn't sound like your goals would have been affected at all.

Yeah, I gotta say this is different than just a normal single 27-year old with a solid job partying it up. No one would care. But 16 got his heart broken, IMMEDIATELY got a DUI and banged a cokehead without a rubber. And 8 months later, not much has changed.If you have your #### together, then you can party till the cows come home. But 16 clearly doesn't have his #### together.

 

[Henry Ford]

Yeah, I gotta say this is different than just a normal single 27-year old with a solid job partying it up. No one would care. But 16 got his heart broken, IMMEDIATELY got a DUI and banged a cokehead without a rubber. And 8 months later, not much has changed.If you have your #### together, then you can party till the cows come home. But 16 clearly doesn't have his #### together.

That's all I'm saying. When stuff goes crazy, I'm the first to say "spend a night getting hammered." But then you get your house in order.

 

[No. 16]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.

Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

Great. If I were No. 16, my goal would be to put together some life tools so that the next time I break up with a girlfriend I don't end up in a downward spiral that includes me still sending and receiving hate texts from that ex 8 months later while I'm hoping I don't lose my job or have an STD, and maybe even to start living my life in such a way as to find a real life partner who I can have a healthy relationship with sometime in the future. The amount of partying he's done during this time would interfere with the goals I would have. It doesn't sound like your goals would have been affected at all.

Yeah, I gotta say this is different than just a normal single 27-year old with a solid job partying it up. No one would care. But 16 got his heart broken, IMMEDIATELY got a DUI and banged a cokehead without a rubber.

And 8 months later, not much has changed.

If you have your #### together, then you can party till the cows come home. But 16 clearly doesn't have his #### together.

And since then?I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

 

[Henry Ford]

And since then?I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

This thread is like watching an episode of the Brady Bunch when I was a kid.

I missed the episode of the Brady Bunch when Greg banged a coke dealer.

 

[jwb]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

I don't really care about the partying. This whole thread just reads like the life of an 18-22 year old, not someone who is pushing 30.

That is what it seems like to me as well. Partying at 27 (or any age) isn't a terrible thing, mind you, but the whole vibe here (what's important to him, his image, how he interacts w/ his friends/etc) seems much more "boy" than "man". Just one example, I would expect a 27 y/o man to not even think about how he dressed/looked in relation to his friends.

 

[Henry Ford]

This thread is like watching an episode of the Brady Bunch when I was a kid.

I missed the episode of the Brady Bunch when Greg banged a coke dealer.

That's too bad. It was CRACKIN'

 

[McGarnicle]

Do you still do x much? You know that stuff causes depression right? Not just a few days later when your brain goes into rebound mode, but with chronic use it can shut down your seratonin receptors permanently so that just normal things that make the rest of us feel good like a sunny day or a puppy register zero. So at that point you've done permanent damage to your brain and need serious help not to feel suicidal all the time.

 

[Zegras11]

This thread is like watching an episode of the Brady Bunch when I was a kid.

I missed the episode of the Brady Bunch when Greg banged a coke dealer.

It was the HI episode.

 

[DocGonzo]

This thread is like watching an episode of the Brady Bunch when I was a kid.

I missed the episode of the Brady Bunch when Greg banged a coke dealer.

Brady Bunch ... After Dark

 

[DA RAIDERS]

And since then?I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Do you still do x much? You know that stuff causes depression right? Not just a few days later when your brain goes into rebound mode, but with chronic use it can shut down your seratonin receptors permanently so that just normal things that make the rest of us feel good like a sunny day or a puppy register zero. So at that point you've done permanent damage to your brain and need serious help not to feel suicidal all the time.

do you know how much you need to take to get to this point?

 

[No. 16]

Do you still do x much? You know that stuff causes depression right? Not just a few days later when your brain goes into rebound mode, but with chronic use it can shut down your seratonin receptors permanently so that just normal things that make the rest of us feel good like a sunny day or a puppy register zero. So at that point you've done permanent damage to your brain and need serious help not to feel suicidal all the time.

Last time was the wedding, so that's only two events. Can't say if I will drop next weekend, but we'll see how it goes. I'm not gonna buy or seek any, but if it's offered....

 

[5Rings]

I see the serious crew has checked in today.

Going out and partying at 27yo is a bad thing?

Depends on what you want out of life and whether your partying is interfering with those goals.

if I was him, my goal would be to go out and party more

Dude already said he just wants a job where he makes decent money and has the free time to go have fun/make memories. Now is exactly the time in life to do just that.

Time to leave the East Bay and get an apartment in SF.Hell, I could live on $30k/year a few years back. No reason you can't live like a boss

 

[jwb]

And since then?I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

Disagree. I mean, I like drinking / smoking w/ the best of them, but a bunch of 30 y/o guys toking up (etc) at a typical wedding just seems a little pathetic.

 

[Henry Ford]

And since then?I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

If you're 30 years old and taking amphetamines or MDA/MDMA at a friend's wedding reception, it's time to re-evaluate your life.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

And since then?

I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

Disagree. I mean, I like drinking / smoking w/ the best of them, but a bunch of 30 y/o guys toking up (etc) at a typical wedding just seems a little pathetic.

I said nothing about it's pathetic-ness. But it's pretty normal to have a group of people at every wedding, class reunion, fantasy football draft, funeral, whatever, partying like they were 22 again.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

And since then?

I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

If you're 30 years old and taking amphetamines or MDA/MDMA at a friend's wedding reception, it's time to re-evaluate your life.

Get me your number, you've GOT to come to my next party!!!

 

[Henry Ford]

And since then?

I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

If you're 30 years old and taking amphetamines or MDA/MDMA at a friend's wedding reception, it's time to re-evaluate your life.

Get me your number, you've GOT to come to my next party!!!

I'll bring the watermelon and grain alcohol, you keep an eye out for the R.A.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

And since then?

I've just been partying like a normal guy. Those were mistakes I admit, but nothing I have done since then has even come close.

Yes, normal guys do a bunch of drugs at friends' wedding receptions.

correct. especially if they're college or HS friends anywhere up to around 33, maybe 35.hth

If you're 30 years old and taking amphetamines or MDA/MDMA at a friend's wedding reception, it's time to re-evaluate your life.

Get me your number, you've GOT to come to my next party!!!

I'll bring the watermelon and grain alcohol, you keep an eye out for the R.A.

Perfect!!! My "guy" is supposed to show up, so tell the girls!!! Woot woot!!

 

[gianmarco]

Yeah, I gotta say this is different than just a normal single 27-year old with a solid job partying it up. No one would care. But 16 got his heart broken, IMMEDIATELY got a DUI and banged a cokehead without a rubber. And 8 months later, not much has changed.If you have your #### together, then you can party till the cows come home. But 16 clearly doesn't have his #### together.

That's all I'm saying. When stuff goes crazy, I'm the first to say "spend a night getting hammered." But then you get your house in order.

It's the timeframe that this type of behavior has occurred that is worrisome. I mentioned it a while ago that he should take even a small break (1-2 months) from drinking, partying, drugging it up and just work on himself. Work on being a better person. Based on the recent set of events, texts, and conversations, that just went out the window but, of course, he isn't doing this "all the time" so there isn't an issue, apparently. Everyone approved of this behavior 1 month after breaking up. Still so 2 months after breaking up. Even at 3 months it's fine. It's now 8 months later, you're no better off and I'd argue you're even worse off and keep making excuses for why your behavior is appropriate.So yeah, keep trying to make up for lost time by living it up. If you had it under control and were on the right path, then I'd argue that it's fine to do so. But, overall picture from an outside perspective, you have absolutely no control over your current situation and are just flailing without any direction. You simply don't see it. There have been some FANTASTIC posts above and the recommendation to go see a therapist at a minimum and better yet, a psychiatrist, are spot-on. I'm amazed some of your close friends and family haven't done the same, but then again, they've allowed you to continue with your current behavior without punching you in the nuts so I wouldn't expect much more anyway.No one here is wishing you bad stuff. A lot of people have actually tried to help you and spent time responding in a manner that would try and get through to you. You've effectively managed to ignore virtually every good piece of advice in this thread for months now and have suffered the consequences of that many times over. It's truly amazing. At this point, I read this thread for entertainment value only. It's sad because you seem like a good guy that just needs a little help and direction to get back on track. This thread could have provided that and yet you seem to know better than the overwhelming unanimous advice at every turn. While I'd like to see you get better, I've completely given up hope that's going to happen any time soon.

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

Henry Ford nailing it on the head today. 16, read that #### closely. Today could be the first day of the rest of your life. Tell 'em all to go to hell and get on with yourlife already. F all your GBs and their GFs, Rusty, the dog and the whole lot. That was your life before you were 27. Now, a new chapter. New people, new activities, new places. C'mon 16, snap out of it!

 

[jamny]

So has she called since she left?

Have you answered?

I'm betting yes on both since you've been awfully quiet about updates with her since you got back together. It wasn't until probably a week later that we found out about the dinners, neck rubs and hand holding...and denial of sex.