Issue With Daughter's Teacher (1 Viewer)

[chet]

My daughter is in 8th grade and has some anxiety issues. She told me today that her science teacher "hates" her. I asked her why she'd say something like that and she said that her friends said to her yesterday that for some reason, the teacher doesn't like her. I asked for some other examples and she told me about a time that the teacher scolded her for chatting and then in a sarcastic way, asked her if she was going to cry. She also told me that the class rep met with the teacher to ask her to not be sexist--apparently, the teacher said that the girls in the class are so much better than the boys.

At that point, my daughter asked me why I was asking and I said I was determining whether I should meet with the teacher and an administrator. She then clammed up and begged me not to take it further and said that this is why she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

Your move?

 

[Insein]

Seems like a whole lot of nothing. Pass.

 

[General Malaise]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

 

[saintfool]

Seems like a whole lot of nothing. Pass.

 

[Bucky86]

Buy the school and then fire the teacher.

 

[flufhed]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

This.

And I wouldn't be confrontational - just ask if everything is ok and there are any issues or problems.

Unless and until some worse behavior occurs, or your daughter starts getting singled out unfairly or unfair grades or something, I'd leave it alone.

If she has anxiety issues I assume she has a therapist so she cn discuss with a professional.

 

[shadyridr]

Anxiety is a #####. My 5 yr old has it too. Dont say anything. I think that will just upset your daughter more.

 

[El Floppo]

my daughter is 3.

I'm not looking forward to separating the Jr High girl-drama from reality when it comes to my own kid... because right now, as an outsider, that sounds like bupkis to me.

 

[joffer]

you sure have a lot of drama in your life

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Seems like a whole lot of nothing. Pass.

This

 

[urbanhack]

write the teacher a check for $50,000

 

[jon_mx]

I would sue.

 

[Sinn Fein]

Sleep with the teacher.

 

[shadyridr]

you sure have a lot of drama in your life

mo money mo problems

 

[36th Chamber]

Start hiding Chipotle

 

[popsecret]

Lets see, your daughter tells you something in confidence just to vent, and you are going to make a huge deal out of nothing (every person has said my teacher hates me at one point ) and when something real bad happens your daughter won't trust you enough to tell you.

Nice parenting there buddy

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

write the teacher a check for $50,000

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

My daughter is in 8th grade and has some anxiety issues. She told me today that her science teacher "hates" her. I asked her why she'd say something like that and she said that her friends said to her yesterday that for some reason, the teacher doesn't like her. I asked for some other examples and she told me about a time that the teacher scolded her for chatting and then in a sarcastic way, asked her if she was going to cry. She also told me that the class rep met with the teacher to ask her to not be sexist--apparently, the teacher said that the girls in the class are so much better than the boys.

At that point, my daughter asked me why I was asking and I said I was determining whether I should meet with the teacher and an administrator. She then clammed up and begged me not to take it further and said that this is why she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

Your move?

Assure your daughter that you will honor her wishes, and then do so. We fathers and husbands need to resist the urge to fix things, and learn that sometimes our wives and daughters only want sympathy and support. Support her to nurture open communication. that trumps all else.

When a parent teacher conference or another opportunity to talk with the teacher presents itself do not broach the subject. Instead tell the teacher that his class is among your daughters favorites, though she may be too shy to show it. He will like being liked by her and will reward her with more positive input. that your statement is not true matters not, just the result that will be obtained matters.

 

[chet]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

Yes, of course. Like most schools, the conferences are 10 minute meetings jammed together and I am not sure when the next conferences are.

I am concerned for two basic reasons:

1) her friends have the perception that the teacher hates my daughter which means that there's probably something there; and

2) sarcastically asking a girl with anxiety issues if she's going to cry seems insensitive at best and could be construed as bullying.

 

[popsecret]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui64yHtexAkchet arriving to his daughter's school to discuss why she is hated

 

[popsecret]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

Yes, of course. Like most schools, the conferences are 10 minute meetings jammed together and I am not sure when the next conferences are.

I am concerned for two basic reasons:

1) her friends have the perception that the teacher hates my daughter which means that there's probably something there; and

2) sarcastically asking a girl with anxiety issues if she's going to cry seems insensitive at best and could be construed as bullying.

Wow her friends agree with her? I never heard of friends agreeing with friends, that is crazyyy, you should definitely start an investigation there buddy

 

[Bucky86]

My daughter is in 8th grade and has some anxiety issues. She told me today that her science teacher "hates" her. I asked her why she'd say something like that and she said that her friends said to her yesterday that for some reason, the teacher doesn't like her. I asked for some other examples and she told me about a time that the teacher scolded her for chatting and then in a sarcastic way, asked her if she was going to cry. She also told me that the class rep met with the teacher to ask her to not be sexist--apparently, the teacher said that the girls in the class are so much better than the boys.

At that point, my daughter asked me why I was asking and I said I was determining whether I should meet with the teacher and an administrator. She then clammed up and begged me not to take it further and said that this is why she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

Your move?

We fathers and husbands FBG's need to resist the urge to fix things, and learn that sometimes our wives and daughters Chet only want sympathy and support. Support her Chet to nurture open communication. that trumps all else.

FYP

 

[chet]

Lets see, your daughter tells you something in confidence just to vent, and you are going to make a huge deal out of nothing (every person has said my teacher hates me at one point ) and when something real bad happens your daughter won't trust you enough to tell you.

Nice parenting there buddy

And another ####### on the ignore list.

 

[Juxtatarot]

She then clammed up and begged me not to take it further and said that this is why she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

I don't think she's bluffing about this.

 

[mr roboto]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

 

[mr roboto]

She then clammed up and begged me not to take it further and said that this is why she doesn't want to tell me stuff.

I don't think she's bluffing about this.

Yeah. Be attentive and listen to her. Let her come to conclusions about what she or you should do. Don't jump in and 'fix'.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

Yes, of course. Like most schools, the conferences are 10 minute meetings jammed together and I am not sure when the next conferences are.

I am concerned for two basic reasons:

1) her friends have the perception that the teacher hates my daughter which means that there's probably something there; and

2) sarcastically asking a girl with anxiety issues if she's going to cry seems insensitive at best and could be construed as bullying.

1. I've been teaching 8th grade for 15 years. Junior high girls manufacture drama like Toyota manufactures cars.

2. If, in fact, the teacher did sarcasticlly ask your daughter if she was going to cry he/she was wrong...but it is not bullying.

 

[chet]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Chet is a smart guy. He already knows everything we are saying. He is just sharing a concern, a concern fathers can relate to.

 

[Bucky86]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

or GTFO

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

Yes, 7.125 billion people assume the teacher is male.

 

[Bucky86]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

Yes, 7.125 billion people assume the teacher is male.

I actually assumed it was a female...

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

Yes, 7.125 billion people assume the teacher is male.

I actually assumed it was a female...

7.124 billion then.

 

[chet]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

Yes, of course. Like most schools, the conferences are 10 minute meetings jammed together and I am not sure when the next conferences are.

I am concerned for two basic reasons:

1) her friends have the perception that the teacher hates my daughter which means that there's probably something there; and

2) sarcastically asking a girl with anxiety issues if she's going to cry seems insensitive at best and could be construed as bullying.

1. I've been teaching 8th grade for 15 years. Junior high girls manufacture drama like Toyota manufactures cars.

2. If, in fact, the teacher did sarcasticlly ask your daughter if she was going to cry he/she was wrong...but it is not bullying.

There is no doubt the teacher asked my daugher if she was going to cry.

I agree re the drama angle and I have obviously seen some of it first hand but this is two of her friends who are serious students making an impartial observation. That got my attention.

So you think I should do nothing?

 

[mr roboto]

Nothing isn't the same thing as continuing to monitor your daughter's experience with this teacher. Based on what you posted you don't have enough info to determine if this is a real issue or not.

One lesson kids need to learn is how to deal with people they may not particularily like. That's different than bullying.

 

[chet]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

I don't remember but she's not a pig. 7 minimum.

 

[Bucky86]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

I don't remember but she's not a pig. 7 minimum.

I'd request an in-person meeting ASAP.

 

[Guest]

Don't you meet with the teachers at conferences? You can't talk to them then?

Yes, of course. Like most schools, the conferences are 10 minute meetings jammed together and I am not sure when the next conferences are.

I am concerned for two basic reasons:

1) her friends have the perception that the teacher hates my daughter which means that there's probably something there; and

2) sarcastically asking a girl with anxiety issues if she's going to cry seems insensitive at best and could be construed as bullying.

1. I've been teaching 8th grade for 15 years. Junior high girls manufacture drama like Toyota manufactures cars.

2. If, in fact, the teacher did sarcasticlly ask your daughter if she was going to cry he/she was wrong...but it is not bullying.

There is no doubt the teacher asked my daugher if she was going to cry.

I agree re the drama angle and I have obviously seen some of it first hand but this is two of her friends who are serious students making an impartial observation. That got my attention.

So you think I should do nothing?

I bolded two words. I would talk to your daughter and tell her you are not going to talk to the teacher or admin at this point. No need to add to the anxiety, but you are letting her know you have her back.

 

[Juxtatarot]

I'm surprised nobody has suggested scolding the kid for talking in class.

 

[Buckychudd]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

Yes, 7.125 billion people assume the teacher is male.

I actually assumed it was a female...

7.124 billion then.

Bucky86 counts as 1 million people?

 

[popsecret]

This is going to be one of those threads where OP asks for advice and does what he wants to do regardless. The helicopter in him is way too strong not to react

 

[Cjw_55106]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

I don't remember but she's not a pig. 7 minimum.

I find this fascinating. I know 95% of the teachers at my kids school.

I cant say the same about my Freshman, but certainly the two younger girls.

 

[Cjw_55106]

This is going to be one of those threads where OP asks for advice and does what he wants to do regardless. The helicopter in him is way too strong not to react

I believe the Op asked "Your move", not "What should I do".

 

[Bucky86]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

Yes, 7.125 billion people assume the teacher is male.

I actually assumed it was a female...

7.124 billion then.

Bucky86 counts as 1 million people?

I am pretty important.

 

[chet]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

I don't remember but she's not a pig. 7 minimum.

I find this fascinating. I know 95% of the teachers at my kids school.

I cant say the same about my Freshman, but certainly the two younger girls.

This is the teacher's first year at the school. I do know most of them but my daughter does have 10+ teachers. The only time I'd have met her was during the first conference in November.

 

[larch]

Don't worry about it. Middle school is all drama.

 

[chet]

This is going to be one of those threads where OP asks for advice and does what he wants to do regardless. The helicopter in him is way too strong not to react

I believe the Op asked "Your move", not "What should I do".

I now have popsecret on ignore. The guy's a useless troll that adds nothing.

 

[Tom Servo]

This is going to be one of those threads where OP asks for advice and does what he wants to do regardless.

Oh, the irony.

 

[jon_mx]

It's probably nothing but the fact you aren't summarily dismissing it means you care and are attentive. Nothing wrong with that as a dad.

I'm assuming she only has him less than an hour a day. I would counsel her to minimize her 1-on-1 conversations with him if she's nervous and try to do good work and keep the peace. But make sure she feels comfortable keeping the line of communication open with you.

Interesting that everyone assumes the teacher is male. The teacher is a ~30yo female.

An attractive 30 year old female by any chance?

I don't remember but she's not a pig. 7 minimum.

I'd request an in-person meeting ASAP.

No need to involve the wife in this one.