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Loaning a chick money 9/9/16 - Bye (1 Viewer)

'johnnycakes said:
Hasn't dancingbones been down a very similar path? And he wound up going for the "friendly divorce" which probably means his wife got a lot less than if she had an attorney, even if the whole process was mediated. Anyhow, DB is the one FBG who might have something of value to add here. Everyone else is either reveling in AR's misery or prognosticating out of total ignorance and s false sense of moral superiority.
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Been away from the FFA for awhile & just came back & clicked on the updates.Seems like I'm gonna have to go back & catch up on the details now. I navigated a few years of an open marriage, which ended in a very cooperative divorce, and am now in a great monogamous relationship for about the last 2 years.Biggest rules of open relationships are RESPECT the groundrules and be in communication, IMO. Interested to see what's happening with the latest update.:subscribe:
 
'dancingbones said:
'johnnycakes said:
Hasn't dancingbones been down a very similar path? And he wound up going for the "friendly divorce" which probably means his wife got a lot less than if she had an attorney, even if the whole process was mediated. Anyhow, DB is the one FBG who might have something of value to add here. Everyone else is either reveling in AR's misery or prognosticating out of total ignorance and s false sense of moral superiority.
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Been away from the FFA for awhile & just came back & clicked on the updates.Seems like I'm gonna have to go back & catch up on the details now. I navigated a few years of an open marriage, which ended in a very cooperative divorce, and am now in a great monogamous relationship for about the last 2 years.Biggest rules of open relationships are RESPECT the groundrules and be in communication, IMO. Interested to see what's happening with the latest update.:subscribe:
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THERE HE IS!
 
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
Okay. And her perspective is tht she wouldn't buy a buddy she just got out of jail a drink. You consider that the majority position for men, too, then great. I'm wrong in thinking guys help each other move, get each other out of jail, and buy rounds of drinks without expecting sex or a relationship.Otherwise, what she's giving is exactly what you're saying - the female perspective. Which is often different from the male perspective.
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You know, I've never really had to bail out anyone from jail so this is my persepective. But I would probably drop them off at home if I couldn't hang with them. I dunno, dropping somoene off at a bar after bailing them outta jail seems like a bad idea. :shrug: If that makes me female, well ok.
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I thought you were female. I wasn't trying to imply that your answer makes you female, rather the other way around - your being female informs your answer in a lot of different ways, particularly given the socialization of women on this continent. I'm sure many people have a different perspective than I do, and I certainly:a) don't think saying something is the female perspective is insulting; andb) wasn't trying to be insulting to you personally.
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I am female. I just hard when I try to make a point and it's ONLY taken as a female point of view. The discussion we had felt like you were picking specific points in the story to make your point versus looking at the entire picture. I'm not or do not feel insulted but it sucks having a valid (or what I feel as valid) point of view dismissed just because I'm female.
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My apologies. I don't think your point is invalid because you're female. I think you have limited the definition of "friend" in your concept of "friend with benefits" and think it's wrong to do so, particularly when AZ Ron has repeatedly stated that he does these things because he thinks of them as friends. Which makes me think - hey, I know a lot of people who do that, and many of them are female. Maybe it's related in some way. What do you think?
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My main point was a FWB should still be treated more as a friend and less of a girlfriend. My POV is AR's actions are more like a boyfriend than friend. Yes, friends help you move. They don't plan everything, pay for everything while you sit and watch, that's a boyfriend thing. If Lance called and asked him for help with a move, AR would've probably walked out if there wasn't even a truck rented. I could BR wrong. I'm sure you'd argue that a FAB deserves mod attention that a regular friend, I just don't agree since it jumps their classification to dating or being a girlfriend.
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I guess it depends. I mean, she's clearly an idiot. If I were friends with such an idiot who was a guy, I'd help him move even if there were no truck rented and he had no idea what to do for the move.Money doesn't seem to really matter to Ron, so it seemed to me like a case of "well, this is going to take ten hours if we just try to do car loads of stuff, and a few hours followed by us having 'friend fun' afterwards if I get a truck and have someone else deal with it." In which case, what the hell.
 
So, the fwb/fb arguement is interesting. I've had neither but it seems like a pretty obvious thing here.FWB are never really that are they? I mean 9/10 one of the other people develop feelings for the other person. In this case it would be Angie. You can't be a girls knight in shining armour, have sex with her and then expect her to have no feelings. It's just not going to happen. If you are going out of your way to help someone to this extent then she is going to think you are the one with feelings for her. Would I bail my friend out of jail? Sure! Would I give them money to go have a drink? No. Would I help my friend move? Yes, but for beer and pizza. Would I rent the truck and do all the work? No. And I would not expect all the things Angie gets from just being someones friend.FB now that is simply someone you are sort of friends with, but you don't spend time together unless you are getting freaky with.The more time you or the other person wants to spend with you is crossing into feeling territory. AZRon might not consider going to meet Angie at the bar, or sleeping at her house as anything but 9/10 the girl is definitely going to think there is more than FWB going on. If you are hooking up as often as someone would with the girl they are seeing then you are no longer FWB. I think that your friend you occasionally sleep with when the opportunity presents its self is a FWB.

 
I sure hope AR is ok. We need him now more than ever. Only AR can rescue this thread from the downward spiral of lame moralizing and Oprah discussion of feelings. Help us Obee Ron. You're our only hope.

 
'flysack said:
I sure hope AR is ok. We need him now more than ever. Only AR can rescue this thread from the downward spiral of lame moralizing and Oprah discussion of feelings. Help us Obee Ron. You're our only hope.
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Yeah, basically. Although, I do want to know how Ron's wife feels when he explains that the chick drugged and raped him.
 
'Henry Ford said:
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
'iamsmilin said:
'Henry Ford said:
Okay. And her perspective is tht she wouldn't buy a buddy she just got out of jail a drink.

You consider that the majority position for men, too, then great. I'm wrong in thinking guys help each other move, get each other out of jail, and buy rounds of drinks without expecting sex or a relationship.

Otherwise, what she's giving is exactly what you're saying - the female perspective. Which is often different from the male perspective.
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You know, I've never really had to bail out anyone from jail so this is my persepective. But I would probably drop them off at home if I couldn't hang with them. I dunno, dropping somoene off at a bar after bailing them outta jail seems like a bad idea. :shrug: If that makes me female, well ok.
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I thought you were female. I wasn't trying to imply that your answer makes you female, rather the other way around - your being female informs your answer in a lot of different ways, particularly given the socialization of women on this continent. I'm sure many people have a different perspective than I do, and I certainly:a) don't think saying something is the female perspective is insulting; and

b) wasn't trying to be insulting to you personally.
Click to expand...
I am female. I just hard when I try to make a point and it's ONLY taken as a female point of view. The discussion we had felt like you were picking specific points in the story to make your point versus looking at the entire picture. I'm not or do not feel insulted but it sucks having a valid (or what I feel as valid) point of view dismissed just because I'm female.
Click to expand...
My apologies. I don't think your point is invalid because you're female. I think you have limited the definition of "friend" in your concept of "friend with benefits" and think it's wrong to do so, particularly when AZ Ron has repeatedly stated that he does these things because he thinks of them as friends. Which makes me think - hey, I know a lot of people who do that, and many of them are female. Maybe it's related in some way. What do you think?
Click to expand...
My main point was a FWB should still be treated more as a friend and less of a girlfriend. My POV is AR's actions are more like a boyfriend than friend. Yes, friends help you move. They don't plan everything, pay for everything while you sit and watch, that's a boyfriend thing. If Lance called and asked him for help with a move, AR would've probably walked out if there wasn't even a truck rented. I could BR wrong. I'm sure you'd argue that a FAB deserves mod attention that a regular friend, I just don't agree since it jumps their classification to dating or being a girlfriend.
Click to expand...
I guess it depends. I mean, she's clearly an idiot. If I were friends with such an idiot who was a guy, I'd help him move even if there were no truck rented and he had no idea what to do for the move.Money doesn't seem to really matter to Ron, so it seemed to me like a case of "well, this is going to take ten hours if we just try to do car loads of stuff, and a few hours followed by us having 'friend fun' afterwards if I get a truck and have someone else deal with it." In which case, what the hell.
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She's managed to get 3k as a "loan" and had someone else move her completely, seems smart to me. :shrug: I really don't see how she's come of as stupid. Clingly and immature, sure.
 
'Amburger said:
So, the fwb/fb arguement is interesting. I've had neither but it seems like a pretty obvious thing here.FWB are never really that are they? I mean 9/10 one of the other people develop feelings for the other person. In this case it would be Angie. You can't be a girls knight in shining armour, have sex with her and then expect her to have no feelings. It's just not going to happen. If you are going out of your way to help someone to this extent then she is going to think you are the one with feelings for her. Would I bail my friend out of jail? Sure! Would I give them money to go have a drink? No. Would I help my friend move? Yes, but for beer and pizza. Would I rent the truck and do all the work? No. And I would not expect all the things Angie gets from just being someones friend.FB now that is simply someone you are sort of friends with, but you don't spend time together unless you are getting freaky with.The more time you or the other person wants to spend with you is crossing into feeling territory. AZRon might not consider going to meet Angie at the bar, or sleeping at her house as anything but 9/10 the girl is definitely going to think there is more than FWB going on. If you are hooking up as often as someone would with the girl they are seeing then you are no longer FWB. I think that your friend you occasionally sleep with when the opportunity presents its self is a FWB.
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Have to agree with you. Had a couple of FWB relationships that didn't turn out too well. My one recommendation on FWBs is to not have too much in the way of age difference. First FWB issue was when she was 19 and I was 26. Maturity is a big plus in FWBs.
 
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?

 
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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What if 3 racks meant the equivalent to about $20 to you? That's Ron's life, guy.
 
'offdee said:
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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What if 3 racks meant the equivalent to about $20 to you? That's Ron's life, guy.
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No, that's chet's life. Seems like AR does OK, but he's not wiping his butt with $100 bills like chet does.
 
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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I'm with you, Steve. No way I would have bailed her out if I was Ron. That was just asking for trouble - "Oh, my knightin shining armor!" Not worth it.
 
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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I would bail you out if you needed, GB. Real talk. :wub:
 
'Matthias said:
'MikeIke said:
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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I'm with you, Steve. No way I would have bailed her out if I was Ron. That was just asking for trouble - "Oh, my knightin shining armor!" Not worth it.
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Given that was the part of the story where she said she was OK having his baby, I don't think you want to be the ####### who leaves her rot. It's like streetfights: never bet against crazy.
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But Ron knows he's shooting blanks so its not a concern. Best to leave the crazy locked up where it can be monitored.
 
'Matthias said:
'MikeIke said:
'Matthias said:
'MikeIke said:
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
Click to expand...
I'm with you, Steve. No way I would have bailed her out if I was Ron. That was just asking for trouble - "Oh, my knightin shining armor!" Not worth it.
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Given that was the part of the story where she said she was OK having his baby, I don't think you want to be the ####### who leaves her rot. It's like streetfights: never bet against crazy.
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But Ron knows he's shooting blanks so its not a concern. Best to leave the crazy locked up where it can be monitored.
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I wasn't thinking pregnancy scare. I was thinking more crazy woman gets out of jail and comes to his work, harasses him at home, etc.
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Umm...she did that anyways.
 
'Steve Tasker said:
Maybe I'm in the minority here, but I've been trying to count the number of people in my life whom I'd actually bail out of jail and I don't think there's more than maybe 25 people total who meet that criteria. My immediate family, girlfriend's immediate family, a couple cousins, and maybe ~10 good friends. There's no way in hell I'm sticking my neck out there financially for some chick I kinda-sorta know...especially not one who has a some sort of past history with the law, as Ron has detailed here.Am I way off-base here? I've never bailed someone out of jail before. Is this something where you actually feel differently when someone calls you asking for help and you can't really gauge it if you've never done it before?
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Now imagine you were getting :football: from those people on the reg.... 25 people is a lot of people. I would bail out anyone I thought was good for it as long as it didn't break me. And I would also do what AZ did to help a friend move if they needed it. I've helped a lot of friends move. Sometimes they are packed with rented truck ready to go, sometimes they wait for you to show up before packing. That always sucks. Tests the levels of your friendship. In the end, if it's a friend, I'd get the truck and labor just to get it all done. Not a big deal. No :pickle: necessary.
 
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