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One thing in your life you regret doing - besides getting married (1 Viewer)

kentric

kentric

Footballguy
For some reason I thought back to something in my early life which got me thinking about the way I've led my life and the things I regret doing.

When I was about 16 I went with a bunch of buddies on a blue fishing trip. It was on a chartered boat and on the way out of the Great South Bay, my friends and I were sitting on a long bench and this man and his daughter (maybe 8 years old) was sitting across from us about 12 feet away. I had a cigarette and said to my friend, "Watch this. I'm going to flick my cigarette against the wall and it will go right down the girl's back". I never in a million years figured I'd make the shot and being the stupid 16 y.o. I was, I sent the cig flying. Ended up going down the back of her top and she started yelling, "daddy daddy it burns". I don't think he saw me do it or, if he did, there were enough of us that he didn't want to start something. I was a wimp and didn't own up to it and apologize.

Excluding marriage as that would inundate the thread.

 
Moving out of my parents house at 18. I thought I was big ####. Just got a good paying job, my parents were divorced and listened to my father keep saying, "You have a great paying solid job, you should move out and stop being a burden on your mother". How wrong he was........ I could have stayed there and saved a nest egg, continued to give my mother $$$ help as I had been doing, since my father was a near deadbeat and I would not have spent the next 25 years struggling financially.

 
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When I was a kid I really enjoyed math classes, but I thought that stuff was for nerds so I went the history/language route instead and ended up in law school. By the time I got to college it was too late to change course, but I wish I could go back and tell that 11 year old that he was a nerd anyway so he might as well pursue his interests.

 
Not reconciling with my mom before she died.

We hadn't spoke for 6 years when she died

 
Waiting so long to lose weight. I was at 295 lbs in college and didn't lose the weight down to 180 lbs until my mid-20s. It would've been nice to go through HS and college at a normal weight.

 
TobiasFunke said:
When I was a kid I really enjoyed math classes, but I thought that stuff was for nerds so I went the history/language route instead and ended up in law school. By the time I got to college it was too late to change course, but I wish I could go back and tell that 11 year old that he was a nerd anyway so he might as well pursue his interests.
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I took the opposite path. Loved history, language, rhetoric, logic, psychology and sociology, and had an aptitude of sorts in those things, but I let others convince me to pursue my aptitude, though not my passion, in math and science. I was miserable getting my Chem E. I finally went back, got an M.S. in Psych. and then went to law school.

Were I worried about finances I might have combined the two and done Patent Litigation, lord knows I had some offers, but I simply wanted to haunt the criminal courts, first as a defense attorney and then as a prosecutor.

 
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Not pursuing going into ministry 10 years ago.

I've gone through a lot and learned a lot that will probably make me a better minister at times, but it has been a tough 10 years.

 
Making fun and taking advantage of a kid in class who was special. Sold him a Transformers comic book for $30. Was worth a penny. Would hang his freezy freaker gloves on top of the chemistry shower so he had to pull the chain and activate the shower. Threw pencil erasers at his head when the teacher wasnt looking etc.

This was all in 11th grade. I was more than aware that he was special and should have been more empathetic. Instead, I rolled with the crowd.

I saw him a few years ago. He was working as a cashier in the supermarket. My heart sunk immediately and I felt embarrassed, ashamed and awful.

 
Leaving the AF reserves. The politics ran me off, but in hindsight I'm an idiot. I left over 10 years ago and still miss it today.

 
AcerFC said:
Making fun and taking advantage of a kid in class who was special. Sold him a Transformers comic book for $30. Was worth a penny. Would hang his freezy freaker gloves on top of the chemistry shower so he had to pull the chain and activate the shower. Threw pencil erasers at his head when the teacher wasnt looking etc.

This was all in 11th grade. I was more than aware that he was special and should have been more empathetic. Instead, I rolled with the crowd.

I saw him a few years ago. He was working as a cashier in the supermarket. My heart sunk immediately and I felt embarrassed, ashamed and awful.
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Pretty high on my list is a kid that was my best friend in first grade and by sixth grade he was an outcast. I picked on him all year. And he committed suicide in high school. I am certain that me and the big guy are going to have a long talk about that at some point.

 
AcerFC said:
Making fun and taking advantage of a kid in class who was special. Sold him a Transformers comic book for $30. Was worth a penny. Would hang his freezy freaker gloves on top of the chemistry shower so he had to pull the chain and activate the shower. Threw pencil erasers at his head when the teacher wasnt looking etc.

This was all in 11th grade. I was more than aware that he was special and should have been more empathetic. Instead, I rolled with the crowd.

I saw him a few years ago. He was working as a cashier in the supermarket. My heart sunk immediately and I felt embarrassed, ashamed and awful.
Click to expand...
Pretty high on my list is a kid that was my best friend in first grade and by sixth grade he was an outcast. I picked on him all year. And he committed suicide in high school. I am certain that me and the big guy are going to have a long talk about that at some point.

 
Picking on a kid in the 6th grade. Basically relentlessly. I was a coward and didn't want to face the ridicule of my peers so I went on the offensive. Always felt bad about it. Never saw him again.

 
Always wanted a Corvette. Bought a brand new red convertible as a third vehicle thinking it would be great for summers and weekend trips. During the buying process my wife kept complaining that she was not feeling well. Exactly one week after we bought it my wife finds out she is pregnant. While she was pregnant she never wanted to get in and out of the Corvette. After my first kid was born we never used it. The next year she was pregnant again... Kept it for 10 years and it had 18K miles when I sold it.

Even thought it was in mint condition I would look at that car with a cover on taking up space and $$$$ just sitting in the garage and grew to hate it.

 
AcerFC said:
Making fun and taking advantage of a kid in class who was special. Sold him a Transformers comic book for $30. Was worth a penny. Would hang his freezy freaker gloves on top of the chemistry shower so he had to pull the chain and activate the shower. Threw pencil erasers at his head when the teacher wasnt looking etc.

This was all in 11th grade. I was more than aware that he was special and should have been more empathetic. Instead, I rolled with the crowd.

I saw him a few years ago. He was working as a cashier in the supermarket. My heart sunk immediately and I felt embarrassed, ashamed and awful.
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I'm pretty sure most people did something similar to this when they were young. For me it was a kid who started hanging out with my then best-friend which took away time from me playing with my best friend. I ended up forcing him into a fight (I think I made his sister go naked into a garbage can). We ended up fighting in the middle of the street. He was overweight and was moving his arms (kind of like this but covering his front more - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KUYd9n4xOw). I didn't throw a punch and this kid was getting totally worn out swinging his arms. While this was going on, his mother came to the door of their house and started screaming, "scratch his eyes out Bobby, scratch his eyes out". The fight petered out without a single punch landing (or thrown in my case). Even at that time, I felt terrible trying to start something with Bobby. I knew I was in the wrong. I was about 11 at the time.

 
Leaving the USAF.

Was an A-10 Warthog Crew Chief from 1996-2000. Loved it, was good at it, still miss it. Should've stayed in, gotten a degree, and retired as an officer.

Why did I leave the military? You guessed it, ex-wife didn't like the lifestyle.

Runner up: not pursuing a career in music at a young age because it didn't seem realistic.

 
Jayrod said:
Not pursuing going into ministry 10 years ago.

I've gone through a lot and learned a lot that will probably make me a better minister at times, but it has been a tough 10 years.
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Opposite for me....becoming involved in religion is mine.

Got involved with some close friends/family and we essentially were a cult for about 6 years.

Missed out on some good times with my family because I believed they were unbelievers and I shouldn't be spending time with them.

Sad for the time I wasted, however glad for the time I have since gained removing myself from religion all together

 
Going to a for profit college. Didn't learn anything and came out owing about 90k. Neither of my parents went to college and really knew nothing about the system.

 
Buying my first house. While it wasn't a true fixer upper, it was plenty old and would always need some sort a maintenance. I quickly learned that if there's one thing I suck at, its maintenance

 
Not throwing in my chips and trying to play pro soccer in Europe, as a number of my peers did. College could have waited.

 
TobiasFunke said:
When I was a kid I really enjoyed math classes, but I thought that stuff was for nerds so I went the history/language route instead and ended up in law school. By the time I got to college it was too late to change course, but I wish I could go back and tell that 11 year old that he was a nerd anyway so he might as well pursue his interests.
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It is a good thing that data analysis for a big government bureaucracy doesn't require any math skills. :mellow:

 
In my case, the only thing I regret is something I didn't do: apply to the Naval Academy. I had the grades and the political connections, I just never pursued it.

To this day, I don't know if I'd have been accepted or would've accepted the appointment had I gotten it. I'll never know... :kicksrock:

 
I have a lot of dumb mistakes in my life I could list (such as flipping a car while drop dead drunk) but honestly the one thing that I regret the most in my life so far was not making it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my mother when she was dying. I could have made it, but was so shocked and stunned by the news (even though I knew it was coming, she had brain cancer) that I needed a few minutes to gather myself before I could drive.

Missed seeing her by those minutes.. :(

 
top dog said:
I have a lot of dumb mistakes in my life I could list (such as flipping a car while drop dead drunk) but honestly the one thing that I regret the most in my life so far was not making it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my mother when she was dying. I could have made it, but was so shocked and stunned by the news (even though I knew it was coming, she had brain cancer) that I needed a few minutes to gather myself before I could drive.

Missed seeing her by those minutes.. :(
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That sucks. This and Parmcat's post are the real heart renderers.

 
top dog said:
I have a lot of dumb mistakes in my life I could list (such as flipping a car while drop dead drunk) but honestly the one thing that I regret the most in my life so far was not making it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my mother when she was dying. I could have made it, but was so shocked and stunned by the news (even though I knew it was coming, she had brain cancer) that I needed a few minutes to gather myself before I could drive.

Missed seeing her by those minutes.. :(
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Can't hindsight yourself like that. What if you hadn't given yourself those minutes and got in a wreck where you injured/killed someone else? You made the right move IMO (at least with the limited info provided).

Edited to add:

Being too picky with strange in my youth also. I turned down too much free action because I was afraid of what my buddies would think.

 
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After reading through most of these... it occurred to me that i have several mild regrets, but none that are really big time serious.

I really should've given Leasha more of a chance though.... she was long distance, and I was 21/22 and didn't want to give it a go... but I think i should have... she was rich, thin, liked to pork...

 
I think mine would just not being more fiscally responsible in my 20s. My wife and I got married when we were 23 and we made a lot of dumb impulsive decisions. thank goodness we didn't have our first child until we were 30 and were able to unbury ourselves from these decisions.

 
top dog said:
I have a lot of dumb mistakes in my life I could list (such as flipping a car while drop dead drunk) but honestly the one thing that I regret the most in my life so far was not making it to the hospital in time to say goodbye to my mother when she was dying. I could have made it, but was so shocked and stunned by the news (even though I knew it was coming, she had brain cancer) that I needed a few minutes to gather myself before I could drive.

Missed seeing her by those minutes.. :(
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I can't go into detail as im in public but I could have spent more time w/my grandfather who was the closest thing to a father I ever had. I was young and stupid and just couldn't deal. I think about it several times a year and ball my eyes out.

I'm literally in the waiting area for my appointment to get a tattoo in his honor.

And IN before someone lists my second regret... :P

 
I wish I could go back in time and tell my stupid teenage self to make choices based on where I want to be in the future, not the present. After I graduated HS I got accepted to Rose Hulman, they offered me a sweet academic scholarship, and they were very clear that they would like me to play football as well. I turned it down because none of my HS friends were going to be there and wound up at vastly inferior college. That would have completely changed the fabric of my life over the past 28 years.

 
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