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No. 16

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yo

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Just want this recorded here in case anything comes from it.I was relaxing at home, taking a nap after work, and my phone rings. Usually, when my cell rings it's usually my work since the world seems to communicate only via text messages now. So I just let it ring and go back to my nap. I just woke up and saw the missed call was from.....the Hawaiian coke dealer. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year after we banged (the weekend before Valentine's Day 2012). I deliberately didn't contact her until a week after Valentine's Day and she just never responded to my texts. So the timing and the call is a bit weird. I know I don't have an STD, because I got tested back in October. So yeah....She didn't leave a voice mail, hasn't called back, or texted me so just kind of waiting it out. It probably is nothing, but thought this was worth sharing with you guys just in case.

Edited by No. 16

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Just want this recorded here in case anything comes from it.I was relaxing at home, taking a nap after work, and my phone rings. Usually, when my cell rings it's usually my work since the world seems to communicate only via text messages now. So I just let it ring and go back to my nap. I just woke up and saw the missed call was from.....the Hawaiian coke dealer. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year after we banged (the weekend before Valentine's Day 2012). I deliberately didn't contact her until a week after Valentine's Day and she just never responded to my texts. So the timing and the call is a bit weird. I know I don't have an STD, because I got tested back in October. So yeah....She didn't leave a voice mail, hasn't called back, or texted me so just kind of waiting it out. It probably is nothing, but thought this was worth sharing with you guys just in case.

I donlt know if I could handle having a kid with a bunch of apostrophes in his name. Congrats.

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Just want this recorded here in case anything comes from it.I was relaxing at home, taking a nap after work, and my phone rings. Usually, when my cell rings it's usually my work since the world seems to communicate only via text messages now. So I just let it ring and go back to my nap. I just woke up and saw the missed call was from.....the Hawaiian coke dealer. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year after we banged (the weekend before Valentine's Day 2012). I deliberately didn't contact her until a week after Valentine's Day and she just never responded to my texts. So the timing and the call is a bit weird. I know I don't have an STD, because I got tested back in October. So yeah....She didn't leave a voice mail, hasn't called back, or texted me so just kind of waiting it out. It probably is nothing, but thought this was worth sharing with you guys just in case.

She like-a the way your d### taste..... or she mis-dialed. Or she's lugging your kid around.

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What's the play: text her or just leave it be?I think it's equally likely that she will rob me vs. wanting a booty call.

Edited by No. 16

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What's the play: text her or just leave it be?I think it's equally likely that she will rob me vs. wanting a booty call.

You have to text her back. Think of us, damn it.

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Just want this recorded here in case anything comes from it.I was relaxing at home, taking a nap after work, and my phone rings. Usually, when my cell rings it's usually my work since the world seems to communicate only via text messages now. So I just let it ring and go back to my nap. I just woke up and saw the missed call was from.....the Hawaiian coke dealer. I haven't spoken to her in nearly a year after we banged (the weekend before Valentine's Day 2012). I deliberately didn't contact her until a week after Valentine's Day and she just never responded to my texts. So the timing and the call is a bit weird. I know I don't have an STD, because I got tested back in October. So yeah....She didn't leave a voice mail, hasn't called back, or texted me so just kind of waiting it out. It probably is nothing, but thought this was worth sharing with you guys just in case.

She like-a the way your d### taste..... or she mis-dialed. Or she's lugging your kid around.
B. Mis-dial

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What's the play: text her or just leave it be?I think it's equally likely that she will rob me vs. wanting a booty call.

You have to text her back. Think of us, damn it.
Text back : "Oh s##t !!! Somebody wants seconds !! Dayum ! What's poppin', girl?"Then let us know how she responds.

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By the way, if you really want to know how to treat a lady, check out this conversation I have saved in e-mail from 2000 between my kid brother (Yams from the eat-off videos) and some chick he banged while visiting me in Utah that he gave his e-mail address to but really wanted nothing more to do with. This is all legit, I'm copy/pasting :Monique : "Hey sexy. What are you up to?"Yams : "You don't wanna know.... (irons pants)"Monique : "HAHAHA. You want to hang out on Saturday?"Yams : "Can't. I have to defend the heavyweight title."Monique : "Huh?"Yams : "I forgot to tell you. I'm actually Ric Flair, the wrestler."Monique : "I don't know who that is, but you don't strike me as the wrestling type. Well, (giggles)"Yams : "Don't type (giggles) at me, woman ! I'm the President of the United States ! Um, I mean, WCW !"Monique : "What in God's name are you talking about?"Yams : "If you want to BE the man, you gotta BEAT the Man ! Seriously, if you want to hang out Saturday, I'll come by your place around 2."Monique : "That's cool. It's a little early, but Amye and I were planning to go get sushi around 6 near your brother's place if you guys want to meet us. Then we'll go for cosmos and then who knows?"Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"Monique : "I mean, you need to take me out, wine me and dine me, you know? I'm not a booty call."Yams : "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! (struts around the ring.)"Monique : "I'll talk to you later."Yams : "I'm a limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"Monique : "I'm not sure I like this side of you."Yams : "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it baby, because I'm the best thing going! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"Monique : "Good bye."

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
That was some funny #### right there.

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
That was some funny #### right there.
Cracked me up in my office. :thumbup:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
That was some funny #### right there.
I remember almost vomiting I laughed so hard when that initially happened. He kept coming into my office and showing me printouts. I mean, if you're doing a Ric Flair impression through e-mail, can you GET a better set-up line than "I need to be wooed?" It was like a gift from Heaven.

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What's the play: text her or just leave it be?I think it's equally likely that she will rob me vs. wanting a booty call.

So you are still have zero game...could not see that one coming...

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By the way, if you really want to know how to treat a lady, check out this conversation I have saved in e-mail from 2000 between my kid brother (Yams from the eat-off videos) and some chick he banged while visiting me in Utah that he gave his e-mail address to but really wanted nothing more to do with. This is all legit, I'm copy/pasting :Monique : "Hey sexy. What are you up to?"Yams : "You don't wanna know.... (irons pants)"Monique : "HAHAHA. You want to hang out on Saturday?"Yams : "Can't. I have to defend the heavyweight title."Monique : "Huh?"Yams : "I forgot to tell you. I'm actually Ric Flair, the wrestler."Monique : "I don't know who that is, but you don't strike me as the wrestling type. Well, (giggles)"Yams : "Don't type (giggles) at me, woman ! I'm the President of the United States ! Um, I mean, WCW !"Monique : "What in God's name are you talking about?"Yams : "If you want to BE the man, you gotta BEAT the Man ! Seriously, if you want to hang out Saturday, I'll come by your place around 2."Monique : "That's cool. It's a little early, but Amye and I were planning to go get sushi around 6 near your brother's place if you guys want to meet us. Then we'll go for cosmos and then who knows?"Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"Monique : "I mean, you need to take me out, wine me and dine me, you know? I'm not a booty call."Yams : "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! (struts around the ring.)"Monique : "I'll talk to you later."Yams : "I'm a limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"Monique : "I'm not sure I like this side of you."Yams : "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it baby, because I'm the best thing going! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"Monique : "Good bye."

EG...if you end up making it out to LA, you definately have to let me buy you a couple of beers! :goodposting:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
That was some funny #### right there.
I remember almost vomiting I laughed so hard when that initially happened. He kept coming into my office and showing me printouts. I mean, if you're doing a Ric Flair impression through e-mail, can you GET a better set-up line than "I need to be wooed?" It was like a gift from Heaven.
:lmao:

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By the way, if you really want to know how to treat a lady, check out this conversation I have saved in e-mail from 2000 between my kid brother (Yams from the eat-off videos) and some chick he banged while visiting me in Utah that he gave his e-mail address to but really wanted nothing more to do with. This is all legit, I'm copy/pasting :Monique : "Hey sexy. What are you up to?"Yams : "You don't wanna know.... (irons pants)"Monique : "HAHAHA. You want to hang out on Saturday?"Yams : "Can't. I have to defend the heavyweight title."Monique : "Huh?"Yams : "I forgot to tell you. I'm actually Ric Flair, the wrestler."Monique : "I don't know who that is, but you don't strike me as the wrestling type. Well, (giggles)"Yams : "Don't type (giggles) at me, woman ! I'm the President of the United States ! Um, I mean, WCW !"Monique : "What in God's name are you talking about?"Yams : "If you want to BE the man, you gotta BEAT the Man ! Seriously, if you want to hang out Saturday, I'll come by your place around 2."Monique : "That's cool. It's a little early, but Amye and I were planning to go get sushi around 6 near your brother's place if you guys want to meet us. Then we'll go for cosmos and then who knows?"Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"Monique : "I mean, you need to take me out, wine me and dine me, you know? I'm not a booty call."Yams : "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! (struts around the ring.)"Monique : "I'll talk to you later."Yams : "I'm a limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a gun. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"Monique : "I'm not sure I like this side of you."Yams : "Whether you like it or not, learn to love it baby, because I'm the best thing going! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"Monique : "Good bye."

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao:

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao:
She set herself up for that one.

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao:
She set herself up for that one.
So good My link

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Yams : "The NATURE BOY will do none of that ! I meant 2 AM. I'll show up hammered and we'll get it on."Monique : "That's not going to work, Mr. Man. I'm not a piece of meat, I need to be wooed."Yams : "OK. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !"

:lmao: :lmao:
:lmao: :lmao:
She set herself up for that one.
We can only hope that she showed it to a friend later on who was able to explain the reference.

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Hey EG, you realize that Bill Simmons has effectively stolen your shtick with "House Eats," right?

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Hey EG, you realize that Bill Simmons has effectively stolen your shtick with "House Eats," right?

Not only that, he basically stole my entire idea for a sports/pop culture blog that I was doing for a massive suicide pool website back in the 90s before he became popular. Of course, his AOL/digital City page was probably around before my column, but still - HE STOLE IT ! :)

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Nothing. My life is boring now.

No contact with Alyssa?Edit: I seriously hope not. You were a good sport through this whole thread, and I'm hoping you left her behind finally. Edited by IvanKaramazov

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Nothing. My life is boring now.

No contact with Alyssa?Edit: I seriously hope not. You were a good sport through this whole thread, and I'm hoping you left her behind finally.
Just a few texts exchanges for business purposes because I loaned her some cash (stupid I know) and wanted to get the payments set up now that she's working. When I first loaned it to her, we agreed she could pay me in installments, but in December I had demanded she just pay in full so we never talk to each other again. I wanted to leave her back in 2012. So naturally she didn't pay me. Then I realized getting my money back slowly is better than nothing so I just asked for installments and she agreed. However, the tone of her texts were very angry, cursing at me, tell me I was "annoying" and that I'll get "my ####### money back" etc. Whatever, she agreed to a payment plan, and that was all I was after so I told her, "Take care. Hope you're happy and have a happy life."After that text... something inside of her snapped and she sent me a text saying:"I'm sorry for being so angry at you. It's your fault. You made me into this. So untrusting and my self-confidence is so low right now." She's obviously, not happy, and super crazy blaming this #### on me. I told her..."Look in the mirror... you're the one that cheated on me. I was waiting all of 2012 for you even after you ####ed another guy, but you moved away."Then in my final text I gave her my advice about just being alone, ditching the PT, and actually having standards for the next guy. She then replied with along message thanking me and my family for helping her become a nurse. How I was amazing and she didn't deserve me. Blah blah. I didn't reply. That was last week. Then this past week she sent me a message saying: "I just wanted to let you know I promise I'll transfer the money Friday. And that I truly do miss you. Hope you're happy. Take care." I didn't reply. Today is now Friday.. so we'll see.

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Back when she was up here and only working 2 days a week or so (October). Needed to pay rent. $800.I have my drivers license! Feels good to drive without that stupid IID.Rusty's is fully healed and has a girlfriend now... a very dirty japanese chick.

Edited by No. 16

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