Yet More Proof Women are Impossible to Please (1 Viewer)

[3 hour lunch]

I’m not a big beer guy, and don’t really like a lot of the hard liquors. The last few years it’s mostly red wine, but before that if I wasn’t getting a captain diet, I was probably ordering the girliest looking drink on the menu. Daiquiris, Mai tais, pina colada, cosmopolitan, lemon drop martini, etc. They’re frickin good, I don’t care what anyone else says. That being said, when dating (20 years ago) I probably wouldn’t have ordered them. If I ever somehow found myself single again though, I’d order whatever. If it helped single a girl out as nuts, all the better….

 

[Dezbelief]

I’m not a big beer guy, and don’t really like a lot of the hard liquors. The last few years it’s mostly red wine, but before that if I wasn’t getting a captain diet, I was probably ordering the girliest looking drink on the menu. Daiquiris, Mai tais, pina colada, cosmopolitan, lemon drop martini, etc. They’re frickin good, I don’t care what anyone else says. That being said, when dating (20 years ago) I probably wouldn’t have ordered them. If I ever somehow found myself single again though, I’d order whatever. If it helped single a girl out as nuts, all the better….

Username checks out

 

[Terminalxylem]

Help me understand your counterpoint.

Read your response to @kutta. Thats what I was referring to. It came across as dismissive based on your “feelings”. Sure his post was anecdotal but it was relevant to the main point of this thread. I think you’d be surprised in the real world. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong to be judged about what you drink, or even if you don’t drink at all, and I’m not saying one necessarily has to be concerned about it - but let’s not pretend it’s not happening in the world where the people here tread.

I live in the real world, and the crude stats suggest my stance isn’t off-base. But whatevs, lucky I’m not dating, or drinking around sensitive women.

Once again, if you say so.

Women in Iran and Ethiopia not drinking was real relevant to this conversation (thanks for sharing) and I love how the goalposts got moved in your other responsive post.

But yeah, I’m done with this also. You know what’s going on.

Not sure why you’re being snarky.

The goalposts haven’t moved. I think the vast majority of women couldn’t care less what men drink - Americans, Ethiopians, rich and impoverished. Men are far more concerned with “manly” drinking, though most adults outgrow this ridiculous concept.

Yes, I’m saying so, on a fantasy football forum where people post their opinions. And yes, I think my opinion is based on reality, even if the data I base it on is imperfect. If you prefer to believe otherwise, that’s OK.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Help me understand your counterpoint.

Read your response to @kutta. Thats what I was referring to. It came across as dismissive based on your “feelings”. Sure his post was anecdotal but it was relevant to the main point of this thread. I think you’d be surprised in the real world. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong to be judged about what you drink, or even if you don’t drink at all, and I’m not saying one necessarily has to be concerned about it - but let’s not pretend it’s not happening in the world where the people here tread.

I live in the real world, and the crude stats suggest my stance isn’t off-base. But whatevs, lucky I’m not dating, or drinking around sensitive women.

Once again, if you say so.

Women in Iran and Ethiopia not drinking was real relevant to this conversation (thanks for sharing) and I love how the goalposts got moved in your other responsive post.

But yeah, I’m done with this also. You know what’s going on.

Not sure why you’re being snarky.

The goalposts haven’t moved. I think the vast majority of women couldn’t care less what men drink - Americans, Ethiopians, rich and impoverished. Men are far more concerned with “manly” drinking, though most adults outgrow this ridiculous concept.

Yes, I’m saying so, on a fantasy football forum where people post their opinions. And yes, I think my opinion is based on reality, even if the data I base it on is imperfect. If you prefer to believe otherwise, that’s OK.

You were condescending to kutta in your response originally that was my only point really when I commented.

I don’t care what the exact percentage of women that would care if a dude squirted Mio in his Vodka or who are impressed by a man that drinks Whiskey on first dates. The point was that it happens, and real life examples were given and you jumped and dismissed it and acted as if you know something for sure that you couldn’t possibly know. I understand you don’t like drinking - you’ve made that very clear - but those statistics were meaningless in this conversation.
I won’t derail the thread anymore and really won’t respond again. I just don’t like being mischaracterized.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I always ordered a gin and tonic and thought it was manly enough that I wouldn't get pressed about the juniper berries that were used in the making of the drink. I'm sure somewhere out there is a woman that would judge me for not knowing that I was drinking a fruity drink, nor did I know where the berries themselves were sourced, or some other neurotic stance.

I just don't date anymore because of many things, but ridiculousness like you described is rampant.

I'm going to add this to the thread. If you aren't married in by forty, forget it. You're going to wind up with damage or people who are damaged. Get in young, stay young, be young, grow old together. That's the only way to do it with men and women.

I'm sure I'll take flak for it, but I haven't seen too many second or third marriages work really well. Nor have I seen the dating be anything but a bit either cutthroat, needy, or co-dependent once you hit a certain age. People have their damages and points to prove, and it can manifest in something so gobsmackingly stupid as the drink preferences of a veteran who served in the military.

Fickle is the word I'm looking for here. Annoyingly and disqualifyingly fickle.

Once you’re divorced one time, the chances of a second go up, for sure, but I don’t think a marital mulligan is a deal-breaker. We all make stupid decisions when young, and the experience of a failed marriage can be valuable.

Not being married by forty is a bigger red flag imo, as you’ve had plenty of time to find a partner. If you haven’t, you’re probably quite set in your single, Mio-swilling ways.

But really, who among us isn’t damaged, regardless of age and marital history?

 

[-fish-]

I always ordered a gin and tonic and thought it was manly enough that I wouldn't get pressed about the juniper berries that were used in the making of the drink. I'm sure somewhere out there is a woman that would judge me for not knowing that I was drinking a fruity drink, nor did I know where the berries themselves were sourced, or some other neurotic stance.

I just don't date anymore because of many things, but ridiculousness like you described is rampant.

I'm going to add this to the thread. If you aren't married in by forty, forget it. You're going to wind up with damage or people who are damaged. Get in young, stay young, be young, grow old together. That's the only way to do it with men and women.

I'm sure I'll take flak for it, but I haven't seen too many second or third marriages work really well. Nor have I seen the dating be anything but a bit either cutthroat, needy, or co-dependent once you hit a certain age. People have their damages and points to prove, and it can manifest in something so gobsmackingly stupid as the drink preferences of a veteran who served in the military.

Fickle is the word I'm looking for here. Annoyingly and disqualifyingly fickle.

Once you’re divorced one time, the chances of a second go up, for sure, but I don’t think a marital mulligan is a deal-breaker. We all make stupid decisions when young, and the experience of a failed marriage can be valuable.

Not being married by forty is a bigger red flag imo, as you’ve had plenty of time to find a partner. If you haven’t, you’re probably quite set in your single, Mio-swilling ways.

But really, who among us isn’t damaged, regardless of age and marital history?

This is why I look for widows.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Help me understand your counterpoint.

Read your response to @kutta. Thats what I was referring to. It came across as dismissive based on your “feelings”. Sure his post was anecdotal but it was relevant to the main point of this thread. I think you’d be surprised in the real world. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong to be judged about what you drink, or even if you don’t drink at all, and I’m not saying one necessarily has to be concerned about it - but let’s not pretend it’s not happening in the world where the people here tread.

I live in the real world, and the crude stats suggest my stance isn’t off-base. But whatevs, lucky I’m not dating, or drinking around sensitive women.

Once again, if you say so.

Women in Iran and Ethiopia not drinking was real relevant to this conversation (thanks for sharing) and I love how the goalposts got moved in your other responsive post.

But yeah, I’m done with this also. You know what’s going on.

Not sure why you’re being snarky.

The goalposts haven’t moved. I think the vast majority of women couldn’t care less what men drink - Americans, Ethiopians, rich and impoverished. Men are far more concerned with “manly” drinking, though most adults outgrow this ridiculous concept.

Yes, I’m saying so, on a fantasy football forum where people post their opinions. And yes, I think my opinion is based on reality, even if the data I base it on is imperfect. If you prefer to believe otherwise, that’s OK.

You were condescending to kutta in your response originally that was my only point really when I commented.

I don’t care what the exact percentage of women that would care if a dude squirted Mio in his Vodka or who are impressed by a man that drinks Whiskey on first dates. The point was that it happens, and real life examples were given and you jumped and dismissed it and acted as if you know something for sure that you couldn’t possibly know. I understand you don’t like drinking - you’ve made that very clear - but those statistics were meaningless in this conversation.
I won’t derail the thread anymore and really won’t respond again. I just don’t like being mischaracterized.

OK. I don’t think I was condescending, and my personal drinking habits have nothing to do with the response to kutta’s dating anecdotes.

 

[parasaurolophus]

don't remember to be honest... most likely a Cape Cod. Most likely was drinking them when I met her too. Back then I was pretty much 70% Cape Cod, 20% Long Island and 10% the field.

Lol. At one point in my life this was me. Exact same top two drinks. Threw in a bay breeze now and again too. Probably still would be me, but heartburn. So "yummy"

 

[Zow]

"if he ordered a foo foo drink like Pineapple and Malibu or some girly drink it would be a turn off". Asked the nurse, got a similar answer but then I said "I don't care, I am ordering for me and not what people think of me, to me that shows confidence." And they both agreed with me.

Don't know what that says really.

It means women have no idea what they want

Disagree. They know what they won't in the moment. It's just that they may want something different in the next moment.

 

[Zow]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

 

[Zow]

i think really that this thread should be called more proof that women have discussions and actually listen and react to counterpoints in the normal course of a conversation in the manner almost everyone normal does but that there are some men who want to go all incel and use that as a basis to conclude that women are impossible to please take that to the bank bromigos

You take your logic and reason to the bank, sir.

 

[Terminalxylem]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

Absolutely. Confidence, sense of humor and gainful employment, probably in that order, trump just about any shortcoming in the dating world.

 

[bigbottom]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

Absolutely. Confidence, sense of humor and gainful employment, probably in that order, trump just about any shortcoming in the dating world.

I met and started dating my wife while I was a broke college student, so I’ve actually never asked anyone out while gainfully employed (unless you count working part-time at a video store). Asking a girl out to a place any nicer than the local college dive bar is a completely foreign concept for me. First meal I had with my wife on a date? Spaghetti-Os that I grabbed from the pantry of my college pad.

 

[Penguin]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

Agree with Zow that confidence is 100% King. Not sure about the Jetta though

 

[Penguin]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

Agree with Zow that confidence is 100% King. Not sure about the Jetta though

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

Agree with Zow that confidence is 100% King. Not sure about the Jetta though

It also helps to have a
or two

 

[AAABatteries]

Because, really, above all other things, women want confidence.

I’m only picking on your quote out of convenience. I get really tired of these generalizations- if there’s one thing in life I’m confident about it’s that everyone is unique and most all of us enjoy not being generalized. I have no clue what most women (or men) want nor do I give a **** - I only care about what my wife wants. Again - not picking on you and in the abstract I may agree with your position, just a pet peeve and a trap I’m sure I fall in to myself.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

. I have no clue what most women (or men) wan

Don’t worry, we have an expert in the thread who can tell you everything about women.

 

[Terminalxylem]

. I have no clue what most women (or men) wan

Don’t worry, we have an expert in the thread who can tell you everything about women.

In general, this type of behavior isn’t excellent.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

We should get back to busting on other FBGs for ordering girly drinks.

 

[Terminalxylem]

Because, really, above all other things, women want confidence.

I’m only picking on your quote out of convenience. I get really tired of these generalizations- if there’s one thing in life I’m confident about it’s that everyone is unique and most all of us enjoy not being generalized. I have no clue what most women (or men) want nor do I give a **** - I only care about what my wife wants. Again - not picking on you and in the abstract I may agree with your position, just a pet peeve and a trap I’m sure I fall in to myself.

As long as you treat everyone fairly, and don’t base actions on rigid stereotypes, I see no harm in recognizing patterns in human behavior. Identifying something shared by 51% of a group doesn’t lessen uniqueness of the individual.

 

[Terminalxylem]

We should get back to busting on other FBGs for ordering girly drinks.

FWIW, I had a whiskey sour with yuzu syrup tonight, and there was ice in it.

 

[SWC]

. I have no clue what most women (or men) wan

Don’t worry, we have an expert in the thread who can tell you everything about women.

brohan respectfully you are just sort of being a heel at this point he has said his peace you said yours and it just seems like you are looking to fight please just leave it be you dont agree thats all it is that to the bank

 

[Dr. Octopus]

. I have no clue what most women (or men) wan

Don’t worry, we have an expert in the thread who can tell you everything about women.

brohan respectfully you are just sort of being a heel at this point he has said his peace you said yours and it just seems like you are looking to fight please just leave it be you dont agree thats all it is that to the bank

Yeah, sorry. He just rubbed me the wrong way with how he originally treated a respected board member and his refusal to act as if he might possibly be wrong about anything.
But you’re right - he’s shown enough here himself where no one needs to point it out any longer.

 

[Nugget]

i think really that this thread should be called more proof that women have discussions and actually listen and react to counterpoints in the normal course of a conversation in the manner almost everyone normal does but that there are some men who want to go all incel and use that as a basis to conclude that women are impossible to please take that to the bank bromigos

One of the biggest things I've noticed in dating is the difference in effort men and women seem to put it to preparing/their looks. It appears that women spend much more time/effort getting ready to go out into the world or on a date. Driving through the KU campus, there are beautiful women walking with with guys who look like they just rolled out of bed.

While complaining about Converse shoes may seem trivial, is the issue that men don't want to put effort in? Would some time in an Offdee fashion thread impress some women, maybe make them feel that a guy is putting some effort in to impress her?

Men seem to be OK with being 50lbs over their high school weight, but don't want to date a women over a size 4.

Men will debate whether Taylor Swift is a 6.5 or a 7.

The good news is if you are looking to date and are employed, pay any attention, and put in just about any effort, you can be wildly successful. Other men have set the bar really low.

 

[AAABatteries]

We should get back to busting on other FBGs for ordering girly drinks.

FWIW, I had a whiskey sour with yuzu syrup tonight, and there was ice in it.

That sounds delicious!

 

[AAABatteries]

Because, really, above all other things, women want confidence.

I’m only picking on your quote out of convenience. I get really tired of these generalizations- if there’s one thing in life I’m confident about it’s that everyone is unique and most all of us enjoy not being generalized. I have no clue what most women (or men) want nor do I give a **** - I only care about what my wife wants. Again - not picking on you and in the abstract I may agree with your position, just a pet peeve and a trap I’m sure I fall in to myself.

As long as you treat everyone fairly, and don’t base actions on rigid stereotypes, I see no harm in recognizing patterns in human behavior. Identifying something shared by 51% of a group doesn’t lessen uniqueness of the individual.

I had no intention of getting in the middle of this discussion - I have no problem with acknowledging, recognizing etc. However, you used one stat to try and prove something that it can’t prove. Just because a person doesn’t drink doesn’t mean they might not take issue with a man ordering a “girlie” drink. And just to be clear - I think the idea of that is silly but nobody really has stats to back up some of these assertions (in either direction). Just my 2 cents.

 

[massraider]

The second you start making broad generalizations about women, I know you don't know that many women.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

The second you start making broad generalizations about women, I know you don't know that many women.

Nah. Men and women are definitely different, and that's good. There's no need for everybody to be the same.

 

[ChiefD]

One thing I've figured out about women - I can't figure them out.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

One thing I've figured out about women - I can't figure them out.

To be fair, some people can't figure you out. They think you're a Jets fan.

 

[Chadstroma]

Because, really, above all other things, women want confidence.

I’m only picking on your quote out of convenience. I get really tired of these generalizations- if there’s one thing in life I’m confident about it’s that everyone is unique and most all of us enjoy not being generalized. I have no clue what most women (or men) want nor do I give a **** - I only care about what my wife wants. Again - not picking on you and in the abstract I may agree with your position, just a pet peeve and a trap I’m sure I fall in to myself.

People are individuals but psychology is a thing for a reason. We are different but we are also the same in many ways. A deep understanding of psychology can unlock the doors to everyone even though they are all individuals. Yes, there are outliers and there are cultural differences that change things as well as individuals are individuals. But as much as we are all individuals, we are all human with much more we share than pretty much anyone likes to admit.

When I say "want" what I really means was "sex appeal" and no one can tell me that for the vast majority of men and women, confidence isn't at the core of sex appeal.

 

[Chadstroma]

The second you start making broad generalizations about women, I know you don't know that many women.

So, you are generalizing about people you generalize?

 

[Chadstroma]

Also... not sure why anyone would taken anything in this entire thread seriously.

 

[Dezbelief]

i think really that this thread should be called more proof that women have discussions and actually listen and react to counterpoints in the normal course of a conversation in the manner almost everyone normal does but that there are some men who want to go all incel and use that as a basis to conclude that women are impossible to please take that to the bank bromigos

One of the biggest things I've noticed in dating is the difference in effort men and women seem to put it to preparing/their looks. It appears that women spend much more time/effort getting ready to go out into the world or on a date. Driving through the KU campus, there are beautiful women walking with with guys who look like they just rolled out of bed.

While complaining about Converse shoes may seem trivial, is the issue that men don't want to put effort in? Would some time in an Offdee fashion thread impress some women, maybe make them feel that a guy is putting some effort in to impress her?

Men seem to be OK with being 50lbs over their high school weight, but don't want to date a women over a size 4.

Men will debate whether Taylor Swift is a 6.5 or a 7.

The good news is if you are looking to date and are employed, pay any attention, and put in just about any effort, you can be wildly successful. Other men have set the bar really low.

This guy gets it.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

you start making broad generalizations about women

That's when they used to call them broads.

 

[BeTheMatch]

I’d like to clarify my earlier post that while I have no problem ordering a pina colada at a swim up pool bar at a Caribbean resort, I wouldn’t order one on a date at Ruth’s Chris. But that’s as much about the time and place as is it is about not wanting to look like a psycho. But I’d order a Jameson and ginger without thinking twice if that’s what I wanted. Anyone who would rule me out based on my drink order is going to be way too high maintenance for a successful long term relationship with me. So I would consider such a woman’s early dismissal of me for that reason to be a huge time saver.

P.S. I’ve been happily married for 30 years, so it’s admittedly easy for me to be boastful about my dating confidence when I haven’t had to ask a girl out since the 90s.

I haven't asked a girl out in over ten years and as documented at length on this website I wasn't all that great at it when I was regularly asking girls out, but my two cents is that most girls/women truly don't care what a guy would order (or drive, or wear, or whatever) provided he does so with confidence.*

Heck, I happily recall just absolutely infuriating and embarrassing RacistEx and her family when I drove a Jetta, ordered microbrew beers (before that was cool), openly read books and discussed poetry, hung out with nerdy types, wore pink, and engaged in other "effeminate" (to them, at least) things. The circumstantial evidence consisting of the voluminous and explorative secks that RacistEx was still willing to have with me supports that those things didn't actually matter to whether she was attracted to me. Honestly, I think she kind of got off on the fact that I did things differently (i.e. effeminate) than the men around her, because I did so confidently and brushed off those who criticized me for it.

Confidence is king.**

*This excludes a few select things like wearing New Balance dad shoes (unless you're an actual married dad), using iron clubhead covers, putting ketchup on steak, driving slowly in the left hand lane, listening to Nickelback, and openly talking about your ex on a first date. Those things are just prima facie inexcusable regardless of the confidence exerted while doing them.

**Which, of course, is easy for now long-time married Woz to say when this was a foreign concept to me until I was about 25 and I had my "last first date" when I was 28. So, yeah, my sample size on the hypothesis above isn't very large, but I nonetheless am confident about my thesis centered on confidence.

 

[Terminalxylem]

[/QUOTE]

Also... not sure why anyone would taken anything in this entire thread seriously.

Agree.

Because, really, above all other things, women want confidence.

I’m only picking on your quote out of convenience. I get really tired of these generalizations- if there’s one thing in life I’m confident about it’s that everyone is unique and most all of us enjoy not being generalized. I have no clue what most women (or men) want nor do I give a **** - I only care about what my wife wants. Again - not picking on you and in the abstract I may agree with your position, just a pet peeve and a trap I’m sure I fall in to myself.

As long as you treat everyone fairly, and don’t base actions on rigid stereotypes, I see no harm in recognizing patterns in human behavior. Identifying something shared by 51% of a group doesn’t lessen uniqueness of the individual.

I had no intention of getting in the middle of this discussion - I have no problem with acknowledging, recognizing etc. However, you used one stat to try and prove something that it can’t prove. Just because a person doesn’t drink doesn’t mean they might not take issue with a man ordering a “girlie” drink. And just to be clear - I think the idea of that is silly but nobody really has stats to back up some of these assertions (in either direction). Just my 2 cents.

I dunno. All I can say is, it’s surprising people objected so strongly to the content of my post, or its tone. The whole topic is based on a blanket characterization of women, isn’t it?

 

[shuke]

Also... not sure why anyone would taken anything in this entire thread seriously.

New here?

 

[rockaction]

I always ordered a gin and tonic and thought it was manly enough that I wouldn't get pressed about the juniper berries that were used in the making of the drink. I'm sure somewhere out there is a woman that would judge me for not knowing that I was drinking a fruity drink, nor did I know where the berries themselves were sourced, or some other neurotic stance.

I just don't date anymore because of many things, but ridiculousness like you described is rampant.

I'm going to add this to the thread. If you aren't married in by forty, forget it. You're going to wind up with damage or people who are damaged. Get in young, stay young, be young, grow old together. That's the only way to do it with men and women.

I'm sure I'll take flak for it, but I haven't seen too many second or third marriages work really well. Nor have I seen the dating be anything but a bit either cutthroat, needy, or co-dependent once you hit a certain age. People have their damages and points to prove, and it can manifest in something so gobsmackingly stupid as the drink preferences of a veteran who served in the military.

Fickle is the word I'm looking for here. Annoyingly and disqualifyingly fickle.

Once you’re divorced one time, the chances of a second go up, for sure, but I don’t think a marital mulligan is a deal-breaker. We all make stupid decisions when young, and the experience of a failed marriage can be valuable.

Not being married by forty is a bigger red flag imo, as you’ve had plenty of time to find a partner. If you haven’t, you’re probably quite set in your single, Mio-swilling ways.

But really, who among us isn’t damaged, regardless of age and marital history?

I agree with all of this and have no problem with it. I was just spouting off.

 

[massraider]

Also... not sure why anyone would taken anything in this entire thread seriously.

I think people in this thread are taking things in this thread seriously because I read this thread.

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

Men will debate whether Taylor Swift is a 6.5 or a 7.

This

 

[Mitchie]

one other thing about this thread is that what she's telling you could be masking the real reasons she's not into him that she's not comfortable saying out loud i.e., maybe he's bad in bed or has a micro ____

 

[northern exposure]

one other thing about this thread is that what she's telling you could be masking the real reasons she's not into him that she's not comfortable saying out loud i.e., maybe he's bad in bed or has a micro ____

phone? scope? wave? soft account?

 

[ILUVBEER99]

don't remember to be honest... most likely a Cape Cod. Most likely was drinking them when I met her too. Back then I was pretty much 70% Cape Cod, 20% Long Island and 10% the field.

Lol. At one point in my life this was me. Exact same top two drinks. Threw in a bay breeze now and again too. Probably still would be me, but heartburn. So "yummy"

Drink all the colorful drinks you want, but please don't double down and use the word "yummy" ever again. TIA

 

[Willy]

So.... did he or did he not get an STD?

btw- these are called STIs now. I guess because it's like getting a souped up Subaru

 

[song]

really, above all other things, women want confidence.

do tell.

i had the crazy thought that you really have no idea about women, but then realized, no, you have spoken with three of them.

assuming "the nurse", was, of course, female.

 

[song]

no one can tell me that for the vast majority of men and women, confidence isn't at the core of sex appeal.

i always really like enthusiasm.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

really, above all other things, women want confidence.

do tell.

i had the crazy thought that you really have no idea about women, but then realized, no, you have spoken with three of them.

assuming "the nurse", was, of course, female.

I don't know why you're so invested in being unpleasant about this, but "confidence" does come across as attractive to people of both sexes. People who project confidence tend to do better in all sorts of interpersonal situations. We all know this from our own career experiences, and it holds for romantic relationships too.

I'm an introvert so I would prefer that the world was otherwise, but that's how it is.

 

[Terminalxylem]

We should get back to busting on other FBGs for ordering girly drinks.

FWIW, I had a whiskey sour with yuzu syrup tonight, and there was ice in it.

That sounds delicious!

Had another froufrou mixed drink last night, with shochu, peach liqueur and egg white. Seems like the latter ingredient is becoming more common in the girly beverage world.

Also tried a hot matcha latte. Minus the dairy, a pretty good alternative to coffee imo.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Drink all the colorful drinks you want, but please don't double down and use the word "yummy" ever again. TIA

You serious clark?