Two lawyers are walking down the beach, see a beautiful woman lying there in the sand.
"Boy," says the first lawyer, "I'd sure like to screw that one!"
The second lawyer says, "Outta what?"
Pfffft.
The original "un-Tim-adapted for the thread" version of this joke:
A woman with no arms and legs is sitting in a row boat and is crying. A kind man walking along the beach before sunset walks towards her and asks, "Miss, why are you crying?"
The woman, dumbfounded, responds, "Oh Mister, you are so kind. I am crying because I am so lonely. I've never even been hugged before!"
The man, who feels terrible for the young woman, wraps his arms around her and giver her a big hug, sets her back down, and continues his walk down the beach.
The next day, walking along the same beach before sunset, the man sees the same woman with no arms or legs in the same rowboat and crying. He asks her, "Hello again, Miss. May I ask, why are you still crying?"
The woman responds, "Mister, you were so kind to hug me yesterday. I'm crying because no man has ever kissed me before - I feel so lonely!" The man immediately embraces the woman and gives her a long kiss. After the kiss, the man sets the woman back down in the rowboat and walks away from her, continuing his walk down the beach.
The following day, walking down the beach again before sunset, he sees the same woman with no arms or legs in the same rowboat crying. He asks her, "Hello again, Miss. May I ask, why are you still crying?"
The woman responds, "Mister, you were so nice to kiss me yesterday, I was so touched. I'm crying because no man has ever f'ed me before!" The man pauses, since the woman has no arms and legs. After thinking about the situation for a second, he picks the woman up from the rowboat and tosses her into the ocean. He then looks and says to her, "Now, you're f'ed."