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Dinner bill debacle last night. (1 Viewer)

Da Guru

Da Guru

Fair & Balanced
So last night my wife and I go out to dinner with 2 other couples to Seldon Standard in downtown Detroit.  This is  booming, hip somewhat new restaurant in the vibrant area of downtown Detroit.   

There is my wife and I, another couple who we hang with, and the third couple the guy is the VP of North American operations for a major auto supplier who we see a few times a year.   We have a good night and the bill comes.  After a few bottles of wine the bill with tip was almost $700.00.  The waiter asks how we want handle the bill.  My buddy says just split it 3 ways and that is pretty much what we always do and I just nod in agreement as that is fine with me...the shooter VP who has 3 homes, one in SE Michigan, one in Northern MI and one in Naples FL and probably has a 7 figure income says.."No..no..I got the bill and I am thinking that is cool, then my wife who has had too much wine says.."No..let us get the bill.    Both couples nod and say "Wow..thank you very much and the waiter brings me the tab.

So in two minutes time I go from owing around 230.00, to owing nothing, to owing $700.00!    :wall:

We get in the car to drive home and I say WTH were you thinking?  My wife says.."I just said that to be nice, I never though he would take me up on it"

Moral of the story.  Don`t let you wife drink more than 2 glasses of wine at dinner.

 
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You actually went from owing 230 to 0 to 700 in two minutes. And that sucks. Tell your wife not to do that again. Lesson learned I guess.

ETA: Some of it will probably come back to you in some fashion at some point so try not to worry about it too much.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Da Guru said:
So last night my wife and I go out to dinner with 2 other couples to Seldon Standard in downtown Detroit.  This is  booming, hip somewhat new restaurant in the vibrant area of downtown Detroit.   

There is my wife and I, another couple who we hang with, and the third couple the guy is the VP of North American operations for a major auto supplier who we see a few times a year.   We have a good night and the bill comes.  After a few bottles of wine the bill with tip was almost $700.00.  The waiter asks how we want handle the bill.  My buddy says just split it 3 ways and that is pretty much what we always do and I just nod in agreement as that is fine with me...the shooter VP who has 3 homes, one in SE Michigan, one in Northern MI and one in Naples FL and probably has a 7 figure income says.."No..no..I got the bill and I am thinking that is cool, then my wife who has had too much wine says.."No..let us get the bill.    Both couples nod and say "Wow..thank you very much and the waiter brings me the tab.

So in two minutes time I go from owing around 230.00, to owing nothing, to owing $700.00!    :wall:

We get in the car to drive home and I say WTH were you thinking?  My wife says.."I just said that to be nice, I never though he would take me up on it"

Moral of the story.  Don`t let you wife drink more than 2 glasses of wine at dinner.
Click to expand...
Pfft.  Aren't you an FBG?  Pocket change...

 
I’ll do that from time to time. Have a couple drinks and pay for everyone. Though my group of friends will usually take turns at that so it’s all a wash in the end. Next time I’m sure the VP will pay and it will work out

 
Invite shooter to dinner again. :lol:  
 

I have not once but twice done this to myself and picked up tabs around that number after a few too many. Once I knew the number, the second time the number was a bit of a surprise. Not a huge deal but still one of those things unreasonably eats at me. :lol:  
 

At least you’ve got some ammo vs the wife for a while... if for no other reason than to bust her balls :D  

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Da Guru said:
So last night my wife and I go out to dinner with 2 other couples to Seldon Standard in downtown Detroit.  This is  booming, hip somewhat new restaurant in the vibrant area of downtown Detroit.   

There is my wife and I, another couple who we hang with, and the third couple the guy is the VP of North American operations for a major auto supplier who we see a few times a year.   We have a good night and the bill comes.  After a few bottles of wine the bill with tip was almost $700.00.  The waiter asks how we want handle the bill.  My buddy says just split it 3 ways and that is pretty much what we always do and I just nod in agreement as that is fine with me...the shooter VP who has 3 homes, one in SE Michigan, one in Northern MI and one in Naples FL and probably has a 7 figure income says.."No..no..I got the bill and I am thinking that is cool, then my wife who has had too much wine says.."No..let us get the bill.    Both couples nod and say "Wow..thank you very much and the waiter brings me the tab.

So in two minutes time I go from owing around 230.00, to owing nothing, to owing $700.00!    :wall:

We get in the car to drive home and I say WTH were you thinking?  My wife says.."I just said that to be nice, I never though he would take me up on it"

Moral of the story.  Don`t let you wife drink more than 2 glasses of wine at dinner.
Click to expand...


How was the restaurant? 

Also - have you been to Chartreuse? Its close to there and excellent. Highly recommend.

 
This seems like a common female problem. I once had a first dinner date go awry where I offered to pay the bill, but then she insisted on splitting the bill, and I had an “okay, we can split if you want to” reaction to it. I later came to learn that she was expecting me to argue about it with her, and was annoyed that she had to split the bill.

(Ended up getting married with that woman, so I’m not sure who won in the end there.)

 
Don Quixote said:
This seems like a common female problem. I once had a first dinner date go awry where I offered to pay the bill, but then she insisted on splitting the bill, and I had an “okay, we can split if you want to” reaction to it. I later came to learn that she was expecting me to argue about it with her, and was annoyed that she had to split the bill.

(Ended up getting married with that woman, so I’m not sure who won in the end there.)
Click to expand...
She put the long con on you.

 
whoknew said:
How was the restaurant? 

Also - have you been to Chartreuse? Its close to there and excellent. Highly recommend.
Click to expand...
Chartreuse is really good and has lots of veggie options which I like. The place I would recommend right now is Flowers of Vietnam. It's incredible and has a cool story. 

 
Ilov80s said:
Chartreuse is really good and has lots of veggie options which I like. The place I would recommend right now is Flowers of Vietnam. It's incredible and has a cool story. 
Click to expand...
Flowers of Vietnam does not have regular hours..been there 3 times and they have always been closed

 
My parents have 3 houses in Naples, FL... they would love for you to take them out to dinner...👍

 
Don Quixote said:
This seems like a common female problem. I once had a first dinner date go awry where I offered to pay the bill, but then she insisted on splitting the bill, and I had an “okay, we can split if you want to” reaction to it. I later came to learn that she was expecting me to argue about it with her, and was annoyed that she had to split the bill.

(Ended up getting married with that woman, so I’m not sure who won in the end there.)
Click to expand...
She paid half early and is now playing the waiting game to make you pay half of everything now.

 
My wife would have been "$230!! We owe $230!!! Then she would have scrutinized the bill to death." 

Side effect of having a cheap wife.

When we were younger we used to go to dinner with a big group of people often. Some of them were not well off (college students and such). Inevitably when the check would come we would always end up short because obviously someone didn't calculate tip or tax right. I would then just want to just throw an extra 5-10 just to avoid anyone feeling bad--but wow, would my wife give me the death stare when I would reach for my wallet.

I guess after 30 years of being together if this is one the biggest complaints I have about her, I am doing okay I guess.  

 
BTW, the key to picking up the whole check is not to say so in advance. Otherwise people order the most expensive thing on the menu.

 
Leroy Hoard said:
BTW, the key to picking up the whole check is not to say so in advance. Otherwise people order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Click to expand...
If I say I’m grabbing the check at the beginning of the meal, it usually has the opposite effect with my circle of friends. I would think that would be the case with the majority of folks. 

 
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When with the guys, we just rotate tabs at bars for the night. We'll rotate meals as well.

When with other couples.. either even split or rotate.

A while ago we had a first meal with one couple.  When the check came, the female scrutinized every item.  i don't think we have been out with them since (for other reasons as well).  When I am with people I care about i really do not want to break out calculators.  i trust that things will work out over time.

edit: our groups tend to fight to pay, rather than avoiding to  reach for the wallet.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Drunken knight said:
When with the guys, we just rotate tabs at bars for the night. We'll rotate meals as well.

When with other couples.. either even split or rotate.

A while ago we had a first meal with one couple.  When the check came, the female scrutinized every item.  i don't think we have been out with them since (for other reasons as well).  When I am with people I care about i really do not want to break out calculators.  i trust that things will work out over time.

edit: our groups tend to fight to pay, rather than avoiding to  reach for the wallet.
Click to expand...
Looking for another friend?

 
Told my wife about this thread and asked how checks go when she is with the girls.  generally similar (1 picks up, or even split).  She reported having one friend who does a rough estimate (we are have done a lot with them and enjoy their company).  They are more attentive to budgets and we understand that.  I am happy to absorb that for a while because i do not want $$ to inhibit our activities.

 
Da Guru said:
Flowers of Vietnam does not have regular hours..been there 3 times and they have always been closed
Click to expand...
5-11 Wed-Sun seems normal. Also you need to make reservations, it’s busy.

 
Da Guru said:
So last night my wife and I go out to dinner with 2 other couples to Seldon Standard in downtown Detroit.  This is  booming, hip somewhat new restaurant in the vibrant area of downtown Detroit.   

There is my wife and I, another couple who we hang with, and the third couple the guy is the VP of North American operations for a major auto supplier who we see a few times a year.   We have a good night and the bill comes.  After a few bottles of wine the bill with tip was almost $700.00.  The waiter asks how we want handle the bill.  My buddy says just split it 3 ways and that is pretty much what we always do and I just nod in agreement as that is fine with me...the shooter VP who has 3 homes, one in SE Michigan, one in Northern MI and one in Naples FL and probably has a 7 figure income says.."No..no..I got the bill and I am thinking that is cool, then my wife who has had too much wine says.."No..let us get the bill.    Both couples nod and say "Wow..thank you very much and the waiter brings me the tab.

So in two minutes time I go from owing around 230.00, to owing nothing, to owing $700.00!    :wall:

We get in the car to drive home and I say WTH were you thinking?  My wife says.."I just said that to be nice, I never though he would take me up on it"

Moral of the story.  Don`t let you wife drink more than 2 glasses of wine at dinner.
Click to expand...
Rodney Dangerfield “Hey Baby want to earn $700 - the hard way?”

 
bigbottom said:
If I say I’m grabbing the check at the beginning of the meal, it usually has the opposite effect with my circle of friends. I would think that would be the case with the majority of folks. 
Click to expand...
Well you must hang with a better crowd than me.

 
Aside from Courtjesters wife, does anyone tally the exact amount each person consumed?

I’m in the camp of just paying the whole bill, with the implicit understanding that friends will pick up the tab in the future.

 
Drunken knight said:
When with the guys, we just rotate tabs at bars for the night. We'll rotate meals as well.

When with other couples.. either even split or rotate.

A while ago we had a first meal with one couple.  When the check came, the female scrutinized every item.  i don't think we have been out with them since (for other reasons as well).  When I am with people I care about i really do not want to break out calculators.  i trust that things will work out over time.

edit: our groups tend to fight to pay, rather than avoiding to  reach for the wallet.
Click to expand...
I hope you didn't hang out with them again more for the other reasons. Yes some people can be overly frugal but I wouldn't hold that against them too much unless they were ridiculous about it. You don't know everyone's financial situation, they could have been in lots of debt for all you know.

 
Tool said:
I hope you didn't hang out with them again more for the other reasons.

It's all enmeshed and part of a bigger picture. We are acquainted via daughter's school and shared activities. Their daughter is over-indulged, loud, a drama queen, and hard to be around. Parents are nice.

Yes some people can be overly frugal but I wouldn't hold that against them too much unless they were ridiculous about it.

You don't know everyone's financial situation, they could have been in lots of debt for all you know.

I agree that you never know behind the scenes finances.... always a possibilities of debt, saving for college, taking care of elderly parents, whatever.  They are a 1 income household and the husband does quite well.  Daughters room is full of soooo many toys, stuffed animals, and trinkets .... several Disney trips per year, just went Europe this summer for 3- 4 weeks. 





The four of us selected a local Thai restaurant, so it was not as if we were going to French Laundry.  Given the circumstances I found it rather petty to break it down... "you had 2 glasses of wine and we had an extra app, etc."
Click to expand...

 
bigbottom said:
Do you recall who ended up owing more after all the calculations?
Click to expand...
Likely us.... but is think it was by a small margin (we had wine, they did not.  they had dessert.  whatever).  I would have preferred to pay the entire bill rather than break it down.  I am not 1% fbg,, but do not expect others to pull my weight.

 
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