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Otis

I have no patience lately. I walk around triggered all day long.

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5 hours ago, Otis said:

Good call. Rowing in the morning does help, I need to remain committed to that, and guitar in the evening is something I need to do more of. 

Just breathe. Sit in a comfortable position in a chair, feet flat on the floor, hands on your knees. Breathe in deep through your nose for a count of 7; hold it for 7;  then breathe out slowly for 8.

Do that several times. Try to start doing it for just 5 minutes. Set a timer.

Focus on your breathing, don't try and do anything else. Thoughts and distractions will pop up, just keep following your breath, and let them come and go in your head without reacting to them. Viola.

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Posted (edited)

This just reminds me of how glad I am that I recently got out of private practice. Pay cut was well worth it for the increased quality of life. My wife and I have awesome employers who let each of us basically work 50% (one worked 4 hours while the other watched the kids, then switch) for 3 months. Kids are back at daycare now and that had helped the stress a ton.

You gotta get somebody who can help your wife with the kids, and get out of that damn attic at least part of the day.

Edited by FBG26

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So to the real question is how do I get these GM cookies?

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31 minutes ago, NutterButter said:

Can we get some picks of the attic?  It could be a really nice attic for all we know.  

Zero doubt that it is. Inevitably furnished and air conditioned. 

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1 minute ago, Zow said:

Zero doubt that it is. Inevitably furnished and air conditioned. 

Funny. It was a pretty nice attic. Finished and decent sized. A couple of bedrooms; one of which had become my office. A full bathroom. My wife and kids out of pity recently bought me a mini fridge and a Nespresso for up there, because I had some full days where I couldn’t even get downstairs for a water or a coffee. 
 

All that said the AC just went. Apparently some knucklehead before us got central air into the attic not by running ducts from downstairs, but by putting another outdoor air compressor up in the crawlspace above the attic (the true attic I guess). And the thing froze up and leaked and caused condensation since I’ve been running it so regularly this year, and water pooled, blah blah, leak in ceiling and now ceiling starting to come down. So, have to shut off the AC. Getting a contractor in. HVAC guy said in 20 years he’s never seen anything like the disaster of a setup we have up there. So basically I’ll either have to go without AC (not a real option IMO) or transition out of the fairly comfortable office I’ve setup with all my gear, probably to switch to a laptop down in the basement until that all gets sorted out. Pretty solid downgrade I think. We’ll see. Maybe the change of scenery will be good. Surely this will run me at a minimum $5k. 

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Posted (edited)
On 7/2/2020 at 6:34 PM, Hastur said:

Meditate twice daily. Serious answer.

Can't go wrong with Sam Harris Waking Up app or the 10% Happier app. 

Edited by Mister CIA

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Posted (edited)
12 hours ago, Zow said:

What he's describing is common to the job. There's not a fix to it. It's what was signed up for. 

Yea, I hear ya. My wife is a paralegal, so I'm somewhat familiar with that world. You lawyers do kill yourselves. I don't understand why that industry is like that, but it is. 

+1 on the hobbies. A definite must.

Edited by jwb
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I hear you GB. Feel like I’ve never worked this hard and no travel for the first time in 30 years is stopping the “absence makes the heart grow fonder” routine with Mrs Smails. Feel like I’m more on edge and not being kind enough. 

One key difference - my dog is my solace. Everything right in the world is in the eyes of that chocolate lab. If my dog was an ##### I would be spending more time in the depression thread. No schtick. 

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I just scanned the thread so maybe this has been addressed, but how old is the pup?  We got a puppy a year ago after a dog my wife had had for 14 years passed.  It obviously wasnt easy, but one thing that really helped is we got it professionally trained.  And not just a once a week thing.  We sent him off to live with our trainer for two weeks.  Not cheap, but really gives a jumpstart on the training and the dog came back much more well behaved.   Obviously he still had puppy tendencies, but he also had a grasp of a lot of commands and while not perfect, it helped a lot.  Im sure it will be tough for you to explain to the kids that dog is going away for two weeks, but trust me, its worth it.

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2 hours ago, Mrs. Rannous said:

That sofa is enormous.  I like the sleeping cubbies.

I'm trying to figure out why that looks like a square pool table.

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Posted (edited)
On 7/2/2020 at 4:29 PM, Otis said:

. As a result I’m constant short tempered, pissed, annoyed, frustrated and angry. I used to be an easygoing and fun loving guy. I feel like I walk around the house with a scowl all the time just barking at my kids and the stupid dog.... Whatcha got?

 

 

 

Edited by GordonGekko

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5 hours ago, gianmarco said:

I'm trying to figure out why that looks like a square pool table.

Forced perspective.  If you look at the table closely, you'll see the little dots between the pockets vary in number.  That attic is huge.

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1 hour ago, Mrs. Rannous said:

Forced perspective.  If you look at the table closely, you'll see the little dots between the pockets vary in number.  That attic is huge.

Oh, I know. I already saw that.

But I still think someone sold @Otis a square pool table for $5K.

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34 minutes ago, gianmarco said:

Oh, I know. I already saw that.

But I still think someone sold @Otis a square pool table for $5K.

Maybe it's a conversation piece.

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6 hours ago, GordonGekko said:

 

1) Exercise fixes most everything. If you can't leave the house, buy a kettlebell at minimum. I told you this years ago. The best exercises and the easiest to process with consistency are ones that build a skill set. Given COVID19 and isolation factors, boxing is going to be the only real option for you.

2) Fix your diet. Booze won't help you here. Eating crappy processed foods or whatever won't help you here. If you are home all the time, you don't have an excuse to not eat cleaner

3) Journal. Every time you feel upset, write for 20 minutes non stop. Don't think, just write. At the end of each week, review what you've written. Over time, you'll start to see patterns if you can accept moving to your true authentic self. Most people don't get there, maybe you will

4) When you are under duress, when things aren't going your way, that's your real character. You have to face the things you don't like in other people, then face those same things in yourself without rationalization.

You are NOT an easy and fun loving guy. That's your mask, what you want to present to the world to ensure your status and try to maintain your lifestyle. It's when we are tested, that we know who we are. The real Otis is said short tempered, pissed, annoyed, frustrated and angry. Aside from something going on with mental health, it's always on you to choose who you want to be in life.

Basic rule of life - You have ONE OBLIGATION in this world. Only one thing you MUST DO. That's die. Like everyone else. But between now and death, absolutely everything else is a choice. Until you own that, nothing will get better.

5) Find an activity you can share with other men ( This is why sports are so  valuable, bonding via attrition towards a common goal) face to face. Not talking but doing. Men need a brotherhood to find peace. Find an activity you can share with your wife ( Dancing usually works best) It probably won't save your marriage, but you need to have a shared outlet beyond the mundane of raising children.

6) Children becomes what they see everyday. I told you this years ago. Do you want your children to grow up to be short tempered, pissed, annoyed, frustrated and angry at everything? Because that's what you are teaching them. At some point, it becomes a question if you love your kids enough to fight to be the best version of yourself. If not for your sake, for theirs

7) You don't want advice, you want to complain. You want someone to tell you that who you are right now is OK. You want them to say this because it allows you to avoid telling anyone the truth. You are living a life you don't want, with obligations you don't want, under a format under which you feel trapped. It feels hopeless but if you utter those words out loud, you'll have to face the "real" you and you won't be able to blame a dog or a busted freezer anymore. You crave the freedom you voluntarily gave up on your own. And you resent yourself for it. That doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. However being a short tempered, pissed, annoyed, frustrated and angry person without owning your choices and your accountability for your happiness makes you a bad person. Real change is hard. It's ugly. It costs you nearly everything. But it's the only pathway to understanding the true cost to getting the freedom you need becomes sacrificing the freedom you've always wanted.

Son, I'm too old and weary to coddle you with a box of cookies. You won't listen, you never do, but never say you weren't told.

It's too late to have the life you want but can't speak about, but it's not too late to find the beauty in the life you do have now.

 

This is wrong for like 19 different reasons.  But still good to see someone dust off the old Gekko keys.  

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10 hours ago, ditka...mike ditka said:

I just scanned the thread so maybe this has been addressed, but how old is the pup?  We got a puppy a year ago after a dog my wife had had for 14 years passed.  It obviously wasnt easy, but one thing that really helped is we got it professionally trained.  And not just a once a week thing.  We sent him off to live with our trainer for two weeks.  Not cheap, but really gives a jumpstart on the training and the dog came back much more well behaved.   Obviously he still had puppy tendencies, but he also had a grasp of a lot of commands and while not perfect, it helped a lot.  Im sure it will be tough for you to explain to the kids that dog is going away for two weeks, but trust me, its worth it.

Oh we’re already lined up for that training.  Soon as he’s old enough — maybe even a little sooner — we’re shipping him off.  

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12 hours ago, Mrs. Rannous said:

That sofa is enormous.  I like the sleeping cubbies.

How useless are those cubbies.  Imagine you sit up in the middle of the night as a reflex, or you hear a noise in the middle of the night.  You’re just smashing your face into the ceiling??

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On 7/2/2020 at 8:11 PM, the moops said:

Yea, I am definitely, for sure, in the same space as Otis. Definitely. My address will be forthcoming

No new PMs :kicksrock:

 

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8 hours ago, Otis said:

How useless are those cubbies.  Imagine you sit up in the middle of the night as a reflex, or you hear a noise in the middle of the night.  You’re just smashing your face into the ceiling??

For you, we'll add padded ceilings.

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6 minutes ago, Mrs. Rannous said:

For you $5k, we'll add padded ceilings.

It's in the contract that this is the appropriate response to Otis.

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8 hours ago, Otis said:

How useless are those cubbies.  Imagine you sit up in the middle of the night as a reflex, or you hear a noise in the middle of the night.  You’re just smashing your face into the ceiling??

Why you telling us?  You're the one that had them built.   

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3 hours ago, NutterButter said:

Why you telling us?  You're the one that had them built.   

So he's speaking from experience?

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Hang in there bro.  Things that work for me: exercise during the week, and smoke pot on the weekends.

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Thought about this thread. After being in my attic all morning, went downstairs at about 2. Was sunny and hot out, but felt nice after being cooped up all afternoon in the AC. Made a healthy smoothie and took the dog out back and sat in the sun for a few.  Nice break. In the evening took the dog for a short walk and then got our and took the kids to see some fireworks.  Helped. 

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This entire work from home is one PIA, is it out of the question to rent a small office or office space where it's pretty safe to show up everyday?

-Do you have a Single friend/guy that has a big enough place where you could maybe go there at least 1-2 days a week and work but at least be removed from the home? Get some distance between you and the Fam a few days. Nobody can work in those conditions for long. It's time to start couch surfing during the day Otis. 

9...6...3...is it about time for number 4? That should get you up and moving. 

-Alcohol will not help, sorry. 

Just between the two of us Otis, you're a smart dude and i kind of hate to hear "I'm lucky I have a good job" those are not Otis words in my book. You are several things but humble ain't one of them and I would expect you to start game planning for the next part of your career, you can't continue on this path long term. Even after this situation dies down a little, maybe it's time to look at new areas of the country or a different lifestyle where you can do more of what you like, spend time with your children, there'll be plenty of time to make more money later, you're never going to really struggle, you're educated and you can walk n chew gum, it's nonsense to be tied down so hard and feel trapped. 

Have you had a chat with your wife and explained how edgy you are feeling and that you are afraid you're going to lose your temper and act like a crazy man trying to buy Swedish Fish? I'm sure if you frame it just right, she'll listen. 

Go for a walk champ, clears your head so you can think clearly. You can't sit in an attic for 9 hours, not healthy. 

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I went ballistic on a contractor today.   I may want to invest in a rowing machine.

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