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59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30 (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter wadegarrett
- Start date
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
62. Scraping a bowl.Anyone else veto "Buy Drugs"? We at least need a second.If buy drugs is there, then you have to put "Scrape the bowl" - free or not.I veto the buying drugs - this is the perfect age to buy drugs. How else are you going to get that hot coke whore sitting at the bar all wanton and needy.Apparently, he gets 'em for free GM. Who am I to argue with that logic?you've got to be kidding me. it's like I don't even know you people anymore.
FairWarning
Footballguy
Of course. Just looks kind of silly for a 40 year-old to seek Neifi Perez' autograph.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
While I disagreed, Koya's logic is here.scraping the bowl is like drinking the milk from a sugary cereal. it's the best part. why wouldn't you do this?If buy drugs is there, then you have to put "Scrape the bowl" - free or not.I veto the buying drugs - this is the perfect age to buy drugs. How else are you going to get that hot coke whore sitting at the bar all wanton and needy.Apparently, he gets 'em for free GM. Who am I to argue with that logic?you've got to be kidding me. it's like I don't even know you people anymore.
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
Unless you got a handicapped sticker, which gets you a good parking space.
FairWarning
Footballguy
Lets expand it to well drinks.
DoctorDetroit
Chocolate Thunder
Wear a jersey that doesn't have YOUR NAME on it. Unless it says NIPSEY. Then it's fine.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Noted. Sorry Muffdiver.
General Malaise
Footballguy
it's not like this stuff grows on trees! what if your pharmacy man is on vacation and you've got the jones real bad...is scraping okay then?You clean it.And if your pipe is clogged?By "bowl scrappings" I assume you mean resin? :X 25 years old is the cut off for resin. Thankfully, I havent seen it since a LONG cross country trip back in college. Resin days are (thankfully) long gone. Not smoking resin SHOULD be on this list.Just did this.Wrong! They should be mixed in with bowl scrapings and smoked!I think you are missing the point here. I understood it to mean that once you get down to that little, don't be such a fiend, just go get another bag. Minuscule amounts should be smoked or trashed.
Doesnt mean you have to inhale the remnants if you are over 25.
(Can I add "scraping the bowl" to the list? people "in the know" will understand. Because seriously, no 36 year old guy should be scraping the bowl to get high. Get a real job and buy a new baggie. Heck, smoking bad weed shouldn't be on the list either. I know two guys who are like college kids - baseball hats all the time, huge bags of crap weed. Grow up people - its like drinkings Strawberry Hill wine!)
Koya
Footballguy
Resin is nasty, sticks to everything and gives you a headache while putting you to sleep? Was always a college thing for me. No more resin balls, please.Edit to add: If you are ever round town, send me a PM, you can have my resin.scraping the bowl is like drinking the milk from a sugary cereal. it's the best part. why wouldn't you do this?If buy drugs is there, then you have to put "Scrape the bowl" - free or not.I veto the buying drugs - this is the perfect age to buy drugs. How else are you going to get that hot coke whore sitting at the bar all wanton and needy.Apparently, he gets 'em for free GM. Who am I to argue with that logic?you've got to be kidding me. it's like I don't even know you people anymore.
Last edited by a moderator:
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Done.
Koya
Footballguy
Yes, in case of extreme emergency. We are, after all, human.I have been able to avoid that for the past 7 years or so though.it's not like this stuff grows on trees! what if your pharmacy man is on vacation and you've got the jones real bad...is scraping okay then?You clean it.And if your pipe is clogged?By "bowl scrappings" I assume you mean resin? :X 25 years old is the cut off for resin. Thankfully, I havent seen it since a LONG cross country trip back in college. Resin days are (thankfully) long gone. Not smoking resin SHOULD be on this list.Just did this.Wrong! They should be mixed in with bowl scrapings and smoked!I think you are missing the point here. I understood it to mean that once you get down to that little, don't be such a fiend, just go get another bag. Minuscule amounts should be smoked or trashed.
(Can I add "scraping the bowl" to the list? people "in the know" will understand. Because seriously, no 36 year old guy should be scraping the bowl to get high. Get a real job and buy a new baggie. Heck, smoking bad weed shouldn't be on the list either. I know two guys who are like college kids - baseball hats all the time, huge bags of crap weed. Grow up people - its like drinkings Strawberry Hill wine!)
Koya
Footballguy
:nipsey: to both points.62. Scraping a bowl.Anyone else veto "Buy Drugs"? We at least need a second.If buy drugs is there, then you have to put "Scrape the bowl" - free or not.I veto the buying drugs - this is the perfect age to buy drugs. How else are you going to get that hot coke whore sitting at the bar all wanton and needy.Apparently, he gets 'em for free GM. Who am I to argue with that logic?you've got to be kidding me. it's like I don't even know you people anymore.
FairWarning
Footballguy
But I want a throwback Chargers jersey with Gates on the back.I'll add - Wearing your high school letterman jacket. Big no-no.
Also - Anyone over 30 should not listen to todays rap.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Definitely.
NorvilleBarnes
Footballguy
Over 30 = I'll listen to whatever the hell I want thank you very much.
FairWarning
Footballguy
If you have it loud in your car, then you are a goof. Anyone singing about pimps, hoes and 40's after age 30 - your a goof.Class rings - I would say no, but you could tell people its your college ring.
FairWarning
Footballguy
YESThis is another good one: Driving into a parking lot with your music blasting and all your windows down.If you have it loud in your car, then you are a goof. Anyone singing about pimps, hoes and 40's after age 30 - your a goof.Class rings - I would say no, but you could tell people its your college ring.
Tom Servo
Nittany Beavers
Don't worry, I have a college class ring. HS one is gone.If you have it loud in your car, then you are a goof. Anyone singing about pimps, hoes and 40's after age 30 - your a goof.Class rings - I would say no, but you could tell people its your college ring.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
I wouldn't put it past some of the tools I knew in High School.Did we start working on a "past 20" list? Good God there aren't actually 30 year old men out there still wearing their letterman jackets are there?
Hipple Long Ware & Peete
Footballguy
I have done a little more than a third of these and I am an esquire. Go figureI'll add one59 Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30
from Esquire Magazine
Link
1. Coin his own nickname.
2. Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro.
3. Rank his friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
4. Hacky sack.
5. Name his penis his name plus junior.
6. Hang art with tape.
7. Hang The Scream, unless he stole it from the Munch museum in Oslo.
8. Ask a policeman, "You ever shoot anybody with that thing?"
9. Ask a woman, "Hey, you got a license for that ###?"
10. Skip.
11. Take a camera to a nude beach.
12. Let his father do his taxes.
13. Tap on the glass.
14. Shout out a response to "Are you ready to rock?"
15. Use the word collated on his resume.
16. Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
17. Name pets after Middle Earth characters.
18. Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
19. Give shout-outs.
20. Use numbers in place of words or locations, such as "the 411" for information, or "the 313" for Detroit.
21. Hug amusement-park characters.
22. Wear Disney-themed neckties.
23. Wake up to a "morning zoo."
24. Compare the trajectory of his life with those of the characters in Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant."
25. Request extra sprinkles.
26. Air drum.
27. Choose 69 as his jersey number.
28. Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
29. Volunteer to be a magician's assistant.
30. Sleep on a bare mattress.
31. End a conversation with "later skater."
32. Hold his lighter up at a concert.
33. Publicly greet friends by shouting, "What's up, you whore?"
34. Wear Converse All Stars with a tuxedo.
35. Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
36. Decide anything based on the ruminations of Howard Stern.
37. Call "shotgun" before getting in a car.
38. Dispute someone else's call of "shotgun."
39. Whine.
40. Mist up during Aerosmith's "Dream On."
41. Purchase fireworks.
42. Google the word ######.
43. Ride a pony.
44. Sport an ironic mustache.
45. Hit 13 against a 6.
46. Organize a party bus.
47. Say "two points" every time he throws something in the trash.
48. Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write, "Wish you were here" on it.
49. Keg stands.
50. Purchase home-brewing paraphernalia.
51. The John Travolta point-to-the-ceiling-point-to-the-floor dance move; also that one from Pulp Fiction.
52. Put less than ten dollars' worth of gas in the tank.
53. Keep a minuscule amount of marijuana extremely well hidden.
54. Read The Fountainhead.
55. Watch the Pink Floyd laser light show at a planetarium.
56. Refer to his girlfriend's breasts as "the twins."
57. Own a vanity plate.
58. Whippits.
59. Say goodbye to anyone by tapping his chest and even so much as whispering, "Peace out."
FFA ADDITIONS
60. Esquire is for posers. (smoo)
61. Take any sort of life advice from a long irrelevant magazine skating by on reputation alone. (NY/NJMUFFDIVER)
62. Scrape a bowl. (Koya)
63. Feel the need to conform to societal pressures aka "be a poser"(smoo)
64. Care about whether other people think you're too old for certain behaviours. (smoo)
65. Paint your face before attending an athletic competiton. (cosjobs)
66. Sit "in the middle" whether the front or back seat of a car. (cosjobs)
67. Start a Myspace page. (proninja)
68. Bring a baseball mitt to a MLB game. (wadegarrett)
69. Wear a baseballl cap with the brim pointed in any direction other than over your eyes. (Wild Young Billy)
70. Drink cheap liquor or well drinks. (proninja/FairWarning/wadegarrett)
71. Wear a jersey that doesn't have YOUR NAME on it. Unless it says NIPSEY. (Doctor Detroit)
72. Wearing your high school letterman jacket. (FairWarning)
73. Driving into a parking lot with your music blasting and all your windows down. (proninja)
care what other people think about you and your activities/mannerisms that you enjoy to the point where they kill the person you really are.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
How cheap are we talking? Your big domestic beers (Bud, Miller, etc)? Or Natty Light, The Beast, and the other really cheap beers?Same with the liquors. Are we talking plastic bottle cheap? Or are we not supposed to be drinking your run-of-the-mill bottles like Smirnoff, Bacardi, etc?
s
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Will have to interpret that for yourself but I'd think any liquor in plastic is out.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Yep. And you can forget about coining your own nickname.
DoctorDetroit
Chocolate Thunder
ICE
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
That's what the empty beer cups are for.
Hipple Long Ware & Peete
Footballguy
no he's still got a month to do that and be cool...
Wild Young Billy
A Crazy Cat
74. Drink from a plastic 'stadium' cup, unless you are at a stadium or its' parking lot.
FairWarning
Footballguy
I'm talking Natty Light, Arrow liquors, etc. If you order a rum and coke, order a Bacardi and coke instead.
Doug B
Footballguy
I was wearing my high school letterman's jacket until it was stolen when I was 23. I'd have kept wearing it for a while afterwards, too. Yes, there defeinitely would have been a time I would have felt it appropriate to stop wearing it ... but at the time, I didn't know when that would be.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
I was wearing my high school letterman's jacket until it was stolen when I was 23. I'd have kept wearing it for a while afterwards, too. Yes, there defeinitely would have been a time I would have felt it appropriate to stop wearing it ... but at the time, I didn't know when that would be.
It was stolen by one of your friends, who was trying to protect you from yourself. You should thank him. 
cosjobs
Footballguy
That's exactly why we stole it from you. It was for your own good.
I was wearing my high school letterman's jacket until it was stolen when I was 23. I'd have kept wearing it for a while afterwards, too. Yes, there defeinitely would have been a time I would have felt it appropriate to stop wearing it ... but at the time, I didn't know when that would be.
C
Cunning Linguist
Guest
76. Play frisbee Golf.
