mr. furley
Footballguy
this applies across all forms of communication, gbBVWIH
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A note to my coworker ... (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Nigel Tufnel
- Start date
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Open your care package.
mr. furley
Footballguy
not yet
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
:inhalesdeeply:
Dear DPHJD*
I get it...you are very proud of yourself for making your son and his friends smoke their pot outside. Who wouldn't be? You should win a Mother of the Year Award for stepping your foot down and keeping your house free of the smell of pot. How stern of you to teach your son a lesson.
Now, I have nothing wrong with pot, hell, I've dabbled in it in the past. But what kind of moron would BOAST to coworkers as if she was the bastion of Motherhood because she made her son smoke OUTside. Wow. Wait to go out on a limb for your kid there.
You know, the one you call from your desk every morning as soon as you get to work to make sure he is awake so he can make it to work in time. Also the one who's boss you call with lies and excuses when he is late or skips work entirely.
I could see MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYBE if he was 16 years old. But that fell-not-far-from-the-apple-tree- son of your is TWENTY YEARS OLD.
For crissakes what the hell is wrong with you?
You know what? I take that back. I DO NOT CARE!
I don't care about your son. I don't care to listen to you two argue on the phone EVERY DAY. I don't care when a customer was rude to you, even though I can hear your conversation and I know you were a ##### on the phone. I don't care if your boss doesn't listen to your ideas and concerns. I don't care if other coworkers aren't filling out paperwork properly. I don't care if you have a migraine, or a sore back, or stiff neck, or whatever else about you is ####ed up. I don't care if your computer freezes up on you, or that if you don't know how to save an attachment sent to you from e-mail. When I am talking to my friends at work about my 7 month old son, I don't care to hear about your cousin's son who you have seen once in the last year.
Hell, I don't care if a truck slams into you at 80 mph and strikes you dead on your way in to work.
Actually I lied there too...I kind care if that happens.
:exhalesdeeply:
DPHJD* = Doctor/Phone/Holiday/JuvenileDelinquent
There was another woman who used to work here who we called DPH (Doctor/Phone/Holiday) because she was always taking time off to "see her Doctor", always on the phone talking to her sister/friends/husband, and always first in line with all the plum Holiday request dates. The above mentioned DPHJD was also obviously a DPH, but in order to differentiate between the two DPH's, this one was tagged as JD because she spent half her time talking about or to her delinquent sons.
Dear DPHJD*
I get it...you are very proud of yourself for making your son and his friends smoke their pot outside. Who wouldn't be? You should win a Mother of the Year Award for stepping your foot down and keeping your house free of the smell of pot. How stern of you to teach your son a lesson.
Now, I have nothing wrong with pot, hell, I've dabbled in it in the past. But what kind of moron would BOAST to coworkers as if she was the bastion of Motherhood because she made her son smoke OUTside. Wow. Wait to go out on a limb for your kid there.
You know, the one you call from your desk every morning as soon as you get to work to make sure he is awake so he can make it to work in time. Also the one who's boss you call with lies and excuses when he is late or skips work entirely.
I could see MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYBE if he was 16 years old. But that fell-not-far-from-the-apple-tree- son of your is TWENTY YEARS OLD.
For crissakes what the hell is wrong with you?
You know what? I take that back. I DO NOT CARE!
I don't care about your son. I don't care to listen to you two argue on the phone EVERY DAY. I don't care when a customer was rude to you, even though I can hear your conversation and I know you were a ##### on the phone. I don't care if your boss doesn't listen to your ideas and concerns. I don't care if other coworkers aren't filling out paperwork properly. I don't care if you have a migraine, or a sore back, or stiff neck, or whatever else about you is ####ed up. I don't care if your computer freezes up on you, or that if you don't know how to save an attachment sent to you from e-mail. When I am talking to my friends at work about my 7 month old son, I don't care to hear about your cousin's son who you have seen once in the last year.
Hell, I don't care if a truck slams into you at 80 mph and strikes you dead on your way in to work.
Actually I lied there too...I kind care if that happens.
:exhalesdeeply:
DPHJD* = Doctor/Phone/Holiday/JuvenileDelinquent
There was another woman who used to work here who we called DPH (Doctor/Phone/Holiday) because she was always taking time off to "see her Doctor", always on the phone talking to her sister/friends/husband, and always first in line with all the plum Holiday request dates. The above mentioned DPHJD was also obviously a DPH, but in order to differentiate between the two DPH's, this one was tagged as JD because she spent half her time talking about or to her delinquent sons.
Captain Quinoa
Footballguy
Always wearing your shirts for two days in a row while clearly sleeping in them in between? Why the hell didn't I ever think of that?
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Dear guy I carpool with;
I know you swear. I've heard you say s**t, the "F" word, G-Damn, Jesus Christ, the whole gamut, so it's not like you have some moral opposition to using curse words.
Yet, while driving instead of saying a traditional "F**K!!" You'll come out with, in a voice full of vitriol, "PISS!" and more astoundingly "####!" (male rooster).
That's just weird, man.
I know you swear. I've heard you say s**t, the "F" word, G-Damn, Jesus Christ, the whole gamut, so it's not like you have some moral opposition to using curse words.
Yet, while driving instead of saying a traditional "F**K!!" You'll come out with, in a voice full of vitriol, "PISS!" and more astoundingly "####!" (male rooster).
That's just weird, man.
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Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Based on this and the previous ones. Where the hell do you work?
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
99.9% sure he just posted these from a list he found.Which I am 100% sure is effin' lame and goes against the spirit of the thread.
Koya
Footballguy
Wherever Mexican's are considered Irish?
smotherhook
Footballguy
i SPOC = spit pepsi on computer with this onenow here is mine,
hey douschebagger,
calling into to say you were snowed in in Dallas and couldnt make it to work is one thing. newsflash for you, you live in texas and it is november. agreed, there were snowflakes during the Cowboy came on thurs. this is mon and it is 75 degrees
Gamblor
Footballguy
99.9% sure - even though he linked the source?
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
In the same vein
earest lady who is the source of most of the material I've had to write about in this thread:Celebrities who are/were gay probably isn't the most appropriate topic for the workplace, but hey, I'm no prude, so no biggie. But, saying, "I didn't think any less of them," when the next sentence is, "But it just killed me when I found out, and I can't even watch his movies anymore," probably means that you do think a little less of gay people. And today, "Oriental". Really?! Queerly yours,SM
SKribbles
Footballguy
Just found out the my GB is being moved into the office right next to mine because a bunch of people complained that he was eavesdropping on them...
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
That's not really solving the problem, is it?
SKribbles
Footballguy
My office is the only one near his new one... so instead of having 4 offices to listen in on, he just has mine now.
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
1) They were lame and I didn't pay THAT close attention.2) I didn't feel like looking up to see if he had posted a link or not, though I was 99.9% sure he did.
3) You're busting on me when he posts that fluff? Puh-lease.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Gamblor
Footballguy
I thought they were entertaining. I might have even chuckled.
bakes
I am the Beer God!
Apparently old Pocahontas from a few pages back went to the ER this morning with chest pains. I can't imagine how someone who is the chain-smoking poster child for Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon shaped people would have heart issues.
Update: Just saw her tottering past. Looks like she survived that scare.
Update: Just saw her tottering past. Looks like she survived that scare.
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Lady,
You're killing me this morning! "I've had whiplash three times, and now I can't even wear a necklace because it hurts too much." I'm going to pull a muscle trying to keep the laughter in.
Yours in Christ,
SM
You're killing me this morning! "I've had whiplash three times, and now I can't even wear a necklace because it hurts too much." I'm going to pull a muscle trying to keep the laughter in.
Yours in Christ,
SM
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Hey team,
"Oh, look who's finally going to work today" is unacceptable. I know you're half-joking, but if you ever had a kidney stone, you wouldn't have even bothered to come in yesterday. Yes, I was drugged up, but at least my ### was here.
Oh, and now that I'm better, heads are going to roll. Your funeral.
Love,
Keys
"Oh, look who's finally going to work today" is unacceptable. I know you're half-joking, but if you ever had a kidney stone, you wouldn't have even bothered to come in yesterday. Yes, I was drugged up, but at least my ### was here.
Oh, and now that I'm better, heads are going to roll. Your funeral.
Love,
Keys
mr. furley
Footballguy
WWCND?(What Would Chuck Norris Do?)
Cunk
Footballguy
Jill and Dave,
Jill, ever since I have known you your breath stinks. You are an attractive lady and it's easy to forget that when you are up close and talking to me it feels as if you are throwing poop at my nostrils. Some good friend must have let you in on this fact. Please do something about it.
Dave. You are a strange one. You are one of the people who makes one wonder how you ever found someone to marry. You've got mega-dandruff which you don't even try to hide (hint-don't wear the dark blue sweater), your breath is as bad if not worse than Jill's and your body is so strange. From the back you look like a skinny guy but then you turn around and you look like you're about to give birth. You also have an awkward way of standing when you're talking to me. You got a thumbs on the hips, belly out sort of thing going like someone is pushing you in the small of the back but you aren't moving.
Guy down the hall. It is proper to greet someone when you've been working with them for more than a year. Do not treat them like a stranger when you are on an elevator with them or pass them in the hall.
Jill, ever since I have known you your breath stinks. You are an attractive lady and it's easy to forget that when you are up close and talking to me it feels as if you are throwing poop at my nostrils. Some good friend must have let you in on this fact. Please do something about it.
Dave. You are a strange one. You are one of the people who makes one wonder how you ever found someone to marry. You've got mega-dandruff which you don't even try to hide (hint-don't wear the dark blue sweater), your breath is as bad if not worse than Jill's and your body is so strange. From the back you look like a skinny guy but then you turn around and you look like you're about to give birth. You also have an awkward way of standing when you're talking to me. You got a thumbs on the hips, belly out sort of thing going like someone is pushing you in the small of the back but you aren't moving.
Guy down the hall. It is proper to greet someone when you've been working with them for more than a year. Do not treat them like a stranger when you are on an elevator with them or pass them in the hall.
smotherhook
Footballguy
i was laughing so hard i was crying. people were asking me if i was alright
Koya
Footballguy
Dear not one, not two, but all THREE of you CRYING WOMEN this week:
I understand work is stressful. I understand sometimes you need to vent, get out of the office for a minute, yell, scream, whatever.
But SERIOUSLY, CRYING IN THE WORKPLACE? None of your issues warranted anything close.
No one died. No one lost their jobs. Its just a week where #### is hitting the fan and we are all under a lot of stress.
But don't come to me whining about how you are "better than your job" and deserve more when your current workload(s) result in crying fits every so often. Do you want sympathy? Come talk... because your crying gains you no sympathy, and a hell of a lot of pity.
I understand work is stressful. I understand sometimes you need to vent, get out of the office for a minute, yell, scream, whatever.
But SERIOUSLY, CRYING IN THE WORKPLACE? None of your issues warranted anything close.
No one died. No one lost their jobs. Its just a week where #### is hitting the fan and we are all under a lot of stress.
But don't come to me whining about how you are "better than your job" and deserve more when your current workload(s) result in crying fits every so often. Do you want sympathy? Come talk... because your crying gains you no sympathy, and a hell of a lot of pity.
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Dear Faker,
On Wednesday, you appeared to be near death. Your voice was barely audible. You left early and called in sick yesterday. Miraculously, you're here today with not so much as a sniffle or cough. Hope you enjoyed your 12th day off this year as I did all your work.
#### YOU!
wg
On Wednesday, you appeared to be near death. Your voice was barely audible. You left early and called in sick yesterday. Miraculously, you're here today with not so much as a sniffle or cough. Hope you enjoyed your 12th day off this year as I did all your work.
#### YOU!
wg
Nigel Tufnel
Footballguy
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Hi honey,
I know I outrank the hell out of you in our company. Yes, I work for the bigwig. But when we have lunch, or we're hanging out after work, it's okay if you come by my office. I promise. Nobody even knows who you are here. If you trip and fall on your face, nobody's going to give a ####. Sorry, your job is just that unimportant.
By the way, when you joked last night that the computer program you were working on was going to replace you--it's not really a joke. At all. Sorry.
,
KM
I know I outrank the hell out of you in our company. Yes, I work for the bigwig. But when we have lunch, or we're hanging out after work, it's okay if you come by my office. I promise. Nobody even knows who you are here. If you trip and fall on your face, nobody's going to give a ####. Sorry, your job is just that unimportant.
By the way, when you joked last night that the computer program you were working on was going to replace you--it's not really a joke. At all. Sorry.
,KM
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Dear Sickypants;
You've missed a lot of work over the past couple weeks with a "wicked head and chest cold." They are teh suck, I know this.
You're two cubes over and when you cough, I can hear the phlegm coming up. Then I can hear you hock it all together. Normally, this is followed by spitting if one is outdoors. Since we're indoors I can only assume one of two things is occuring.
1) You're very quietly spitting this into your trash can, or;
2) You're swallowing it.
Either one is effing disgusting and makes me nauseous.
Barfingly yours,
SR
You've missed a lot of work over the past couple weeks with a "wicked head and chest cold." They are teh suck, I know this.
You're two cubes over and when you cough, I can hear the phlegm coming up. Then I can hear you hock it all together. Normally, this is followed by spitting if one is outdoors. Since we're indoors I can only assume one of two things is occuring.
1) You're very quietly spitting this into your trash can, or;
2) You're swallowing it.
Either one is effing disgusting and makes me nauseous.
Barfingly yours,
SR
Shooter McGavin
Down the middle
Dear other weirdo lady in our room,
Seriously, you brought in your bloody violin? And the little rendition of "O Holy Night" wasn't the least bit distracting to me trying to get some work done or the other person who was on a conference call. No, the middle of the day in the office is just a perfect time to show off your fiddlin' skillz.
Baffled,
SM
Seriously, you brought in your bloody violin? And the little rendition of "O Holy Night" wasn't the least bit distracting to me trying to get some work done or the other person who was on a conference call. No, the middle of the day in the office is just a perfect time to show off your fiddlin' skillz.
Baffled,
SM
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
Hmmm, BSR uses that phrase except he says boar instead of bull.Ok, positive vent:Mr. Attorney Man Esq.,Thank you for the new saying. "As useless as #### on a bull" will now become part of my lexicon.
Koya
Footballguy
He is not a short, Italian, Long Island based attorney, is he?Hmmm, BSR uses that phrase except he says boar instead of bull.Ok, positive vent:Mr. Attorney Man Esq.,Thank you for the new saying. "As useless as #### on a bull" will now become part of my lexicon.
Mrs. BSR
Footballguy
He is not a short, Italian, Long Island based attorney, is he?Hmmm, BSR uses that phrase except he says boar instead of bull.Ok, positive vent:Mr. Attorney Man Esq.,Thank you for the new saying. "As useless as #### on a bull" will now become part of my lexicon.
No.
SKribbles
Footballguy
Dear Fat Hairy Chest Man,I guess you didn't get my last note! It's okay, you probably just slopped a bunch of coffee and food on it so that it became unreadable. So today is our first day as neighbours... and you've come in here 8 ####en times already! What have all those visits accomplished? A lot of #### all. I will now be implementing a closed door policy. You are going to be required to knock and announce your reason for doing so. If I find this reason unacceptable, you will not be granted entrace.Good day sir.My office is the only one near his new one... so instead of having 4 offices to listen in on, he just has mine now.That's not really solving the problem, is it?
Bob Sacamano
Footballguy
*ring, ring*
Bob: "Yeah."
Co-worker: "Hey, did you get my voice mail message about...?"
WTF? The one you left 10 minutes ago? Is company voice mail down? Do I look like I lost my ears last night? Have you ever known someone to NOT get a voice mail message you left for them?
You're not the number one priority around here. Live with it.
Bob: "Yeah."
Co-worker: "Hey, did you get my voice mail message about...?"
WTF? The one you left 10 minutes ago? Is company voice mail down? Do I look like I lost my ears last night? Have you ever known someone to NOT get a voice mail message you left for them?
You're not the number one priority around here. Live with it.
Keerock
Footballguy
Dear Punjab -
In this country, it is customary to shower daily... especially when your body odor is as bad as yours. We also have this little thing called 'deodorant' which is meant to keep you from smelling so bad.
In addition, it is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE to attempt to cover up said body odor with the smell of curry (presumably from what you have eaten for the last 2,384 meals). Intentional or not, body odor + curry is lethal to those around you.
Hell, I'd rather you just fart every time I'm near you to mask your other foul smells.
Holding my breath.
- Kee
In this country, it is customary to shower daily... especially when your body odor is as bad as yours. We also have this little thing called 'deodorant' which is meant to keep you from smelling so bad.
In addition, it is COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE to attempt to cover up said body odor with the smell of curry (presumably from what you have eaten for the last 2,384 meals). Intentional or not, body odor + curry is lethal to those around you.
Hell, I'd rather you just fart every time I'm near you to mask your other foul smells.
Holding my breath.
- Kee
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Dear IT guy installing my new hard drive,
Your breath could stop traffic. I'm not kidding. I'd rather stick my head up a sweaty buffalo's ### and sniff compared to what you're throwing out there. Throw down some Scope mixed with some Listerine and top it off with some Breathsavers ASAP.
Sincerly,
wg
Your breath could stop traffic. I'm not kidding. I'd rather stick my head up a sweaty buffalo's ### and sniff compared to what you're throwing out there. Throw down some Scope mixed with some Listerine and top it off with some Breathsavers ASAP.
Sincerly,
wg
Capn Crunch
Footballguy
Dear irritating Legally Trained-Type person;
I'd use the term lawyer but it'd be an insult to lawyers. Think about that for a minute.
Anyway, thank you so much for notifying all of us here on the production end that you're going full steam ahead with that legal case that you've been roosting on for the past five years. You know, the one where production settled the case three years ago? That one. They've almost completed the work. We sent you a memo, but apparently you didn't read it. So please, keep on forging ahead there Sparky. I'm sure that the respondent is going to have a good laugh at you.
By the way, just because it's your highest priority does not make it ours. As a matter of fact, your constant pop-up meetings to discuss the same stuff over and over again are quite irritating. Especially when they pop up at 11:30 AM and you won't stop asking idiotic questions that you already know the answer to at 11:55. It's also nice to send around the latest copy of the legal brief rather than one two generations old. It would cut down on the "Where does it say that?" questions dramatically.
I could almost live with your shenanigans if you had the courtsey to be hot. But no. You look like the startled offspring of an acorn and a myopic squirrel wearing a Hillary Clinton wig.
Please go back to sleep, mm'k? thanks.
I'd use the term lawyer but it'd be an insult to lawyers. Think about that for a minute.
Anyway, thank you so much for notifying all of us here on the production end that you're going full steam ahead with that legal case that you've been roosting on for the past five years. You know, the one where production settled the case three years ago? That one. They've almost completed the work. We sent you a memo, but apparently you didn't read it. So please, keep on forging ahead there Sparky. I'm sure that the respondent is going to have a good laugh at you.
By the way, just because it's your highest priority does not make it ours. As a matter of fact, your constant pop-up meetings to discuss the same stuff over and over again are quite irritating. Especially when they pop up at 11:30 AM and you won't stop asking idiotic questions that you already know the answer to at 11:55. It's also nice to send around the latest copy of the legal brief rather than one two generations old. It would cut down on the "Where does it say that?" questions dramatically.
I could almost live with your shenanigans if you had the courtsey to be hot. But no. You look like the startled offspring of an acorn and a myopic squirrel wearing a Hillary Clinton wig.
Please go back to sleep, mm'k? thanks.
Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
You need less sugar in your diet.
mr. furley
Footballguy
Hey everybody in my old department,
I've had it up to my #### with your complaining! If you SHUT THE #### UP you MIGHT get out of work on time! Instead of spending 3 hours a day complaining about how you don't have time to get anything done...... TRY WORKING!
I've had it up to my #### with your complaining! If you SHUT THE #### UP you MIGHT get out of work on time! Instead of spending 3 hours a day complaining about how you don't have time to get anything done...... TRY WORKING!
SuperJohn96
RPS World Champion
Kind of funny considering the number of posts you have in this thread.
Steelnation
Footballguy
Love this thread
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Dear lady I've never met before;
I brought you my form about carpooling as you requested. I'm not sure how you managed to sidetrack the conversation from how much money I thought was fair to request from prospective passengers to your ex-husband who physically abused you and your sons and violated your daughter (his step-daughter) but it was masterful. I also learned much more than I ever cared to about your church, Jehovah's Witnesses, your divorce proceedings, your naturopath doctor, your self-healing, the effect the abuse had on you and your daughter and the book you're writing about it with recommendations to Jehovah's Witnesses on how to protect children from pedophiles, and your ex's subsequent death, from natural causes, in 1992.
That was probably the most awkward and uncomfortable 45 minutes I've ever had in my life. I truly feel for you and I don't think anyone should have to endure what you and your children did, but there are better places to talk about these things than a hallway by an elevator bank. You should probably seek some sort of therapy.
I brought you my form about carpooling as you requested. I'm not sure how you managed to sidetrack the conversation from how much money I thought was fair to request from prospective passengers to your ex-husband who physically abused you and your sons and violated your daughter (his step-daughter) but it was masterful. I also learned much more than I ever cared to about your church, Jehovah's Witnesses, your divorce proceedings, your naturopath doctor, your self-healing, the effect the abuse had on you and your daughter and the book you're writing about it with recommendations to Jehovah's Witnesses on how to protect children from pedophiles, and your ex's subsequent death, from natural causes, in 1992.
That was probably the most awkward and uncomfortable 45 minutes I've ever had in my life. I truly feel for you and I don't think anyone should have to endure what you and your children did, but there are better places to talk about these things than a hallway by an elevator bank. You should probably seek some sort of therapy.
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Keys Myaths
Pokerguy
Sack-Religious
Footballguy
Dear newish guy to the office;
I think it's cool that you work out at the gym in the building quite frequently. You do not, however, need to come to my office red-faced and panting after most workouts telling me exactly what you did and how many calories you burned on the rowing machine.
Similarly, just because you work out and also just bought an elliptical trainer for your house it doesn't mean you are qualified IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, to offer personal training advice. Imagine my surprise when you told me you devised a workout regimen for someone to "bulk up". You're the guy that openly tells people you've put on 30 pounds since you started working here in October. That might have to do with you eating eggs, bacon, ham, sausage and toast EVERY morning, the copious amounts of coffee and candy you ingest during the day and the 4 pieces of bread loaded with peanut butter that you apparently "have to eat" before going to bed.
Now you've dropped this gem on me. Since you got your elliptical trainer and the store threw in a free container of creatine you've got it in your head that you're going to try out for the Montreal Allouettes this summer. I get it, your best friend plays receiver for them. Just because he's got the talent to play professional football does not mean his athletic ability has seeped into you by osmosis. You're 6'0" and 250 lbs of NOT muscle and you admittedly have played "only a little" organized football in your life. Do you really think this will end well? I'm pretty sure the ladies I've written about previously in this thread have more footspeed than you.
Also, when you have to take a dump, is it really necessary to take your energy drink into the stall with you? Does dropping a deuce really take that much out of you that you need to not only replenish fluids but also take in extra energy? If it does, I highly recommend some Metamucil.
Thank you for the never-ending unintentional comedy.
I think it's cool that you work out at the gym in the building quite frequently. You do not, however, need to come to my office red-faced and panting after most workouts telling me exactly what you did and how many calories you burned on the rowing machine.
Similarly, just because you work out and also just bought an elliptical trainer for your house it doesn't mean you are qualified IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, to offer personal training advice. Imagine my surprise when you told me you devised a workout regimen for someone to "bulk up". You're the guy that openly tells people you've put on 30 pounds since you started working here in October. That might have to do with you eating eggs, bacon, ham, sausage and toast EVERY morning, the copious amounts of coffee and candy you ingest during the day and the 4 pieces of bread loaded with peanut butter that you apparently "have to eat" before going to bed.
Now you've dropped this gem on me. Since you got your elliptical trainer and the store threw in a free container of creatine you've got it in your head that you're going to try out for the Montreal Allouettes this summer. I get it, your best friend plays receiver for them. Just because he's got the talent to play professional football does not mean his athletic ability has seeped into you by osmosis. You're 6'0" and 250 lbs of NOT muscle and you admittedly have played "only a little" organized football in your life. Do you really think this will end well? I'm pretty sure the ladies I've written about previously in this thread have more footspeed than you.
Also, when you have to take a dump, is it really necessary to take your energy drink into the stall with you? Does dropping a deuce really take that much out of you that you need to not only replenish fluids but also take in extra energy? If it does, I highly recommend some Metamucil.
Thank you for the never-ending unintentional comedy.
