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Astronomers and scientists have agreed upon and revealed the first documented case of a time traveler eating his former self.

 
Rare photo of Chris Farley auditioning for his role on Saturday Night Live by doing an Axl Rose impression.

 
I saw a caption contest for the recent Axl pic a few years back. My favorite was:

Welcome to the Jungle

We got lots o' cake

 
You weigh more than a million

Yeah that’s what you do

You weigh more than a million, babe

You’re a tub of goo

Maybe someday you’ll lose weight

Before you bloat and die

You know we tried to reach you

But your weight was much too high
Much too high, much too high,
Much too high, yes, ow!

Nutritionists and diets

They make no sense to me

They come to my pantry

And think they’ll limit my food

Like serve some mini rice cakes

Or cook some f—in’ veggies

They count so many g-d d-n calories

It’s all Greek to me

Well some say I have diabetes

And others say that’s just me

Some say I’m obese

I guess I’ll always be

But it’s been such a long time

Since I saw past my waistline

It’s all those tons of blubber, I

I keep them rolling along.

 
...little patience pancakes, mm yeah, mm yeah

need a little patience pancakes, yeah

just a little patience pancakes, yeah

some more patience pancakes, yeah

need some patience pancakes, yeah

could use some patience pancakes, yeah

gotta have some patience pancakes, yeah

all it takes is patience pancakes,

just a little patience pancakes

is all you need

 
When we were young, Bernie's Deli was down the block
(Ooh ooh ooh ooh)
He made a great liver pate
(You know he did, you know he did, you know he did)
But if there's one thing in this world that I like better
Than a corned beef on rye

It's Chicken Pot Pie
Chicken Pot Pie

Keep your crummy appetizers
Don't want no turnip flavored fries
Or mustard pizza squares
Sorry, but they don't compare

He made a great tuna soufflé
(You know he did, you know he did, you know he did)
But if this fast food eating world in which we live in
Leaves you hungry and dry
There's Chicken Pot Pie
Chicken Pot Pie

 
The_Man said:
You weigh more than a million

Yeah that’s what you do

You weigh more than a million, babe

You’re a tub of goo

Maybe someday you’ll lose weight

Before you bloat and die

You know we tried to reach you

But your weight was much too high

Much too high, much too high,

Much too high, yes, ow!

Nutritionists and diets

They make no sense to me

They come to my pantry

And think they’ll limit my food

Like serve some mini rice cakes

Or cook some f—in’ veggies

They count so many g-d d-n calories

It’s all Greek to me

Well some say I have diabetes

And others say that’s just me

Some say I’m obese

I guess I’ll always be

But it’s been such a long time

Since I saw past my waistline

It’s all those tons of blubber, I

I keep them rolling along.
Click to expand...
Bravo! One in a Million

 
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