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Cinnamon To The Front Stage -- A Gentleman's Club Mix That Omits Hip Hop And Eighties Cheese (Mon Dieu!) (1 Viewer)

rockaction

Footballguy
Calling all gentlemen.

This will serve as an enduring thread to the only love a man can truly have in modern times. Throughout our history, we have lived in service of something. Either kings or tyrants or religious Gods. In modern times, we have overthrown the kings and tyrants. We have overthrown God. But in doing so, we have seen the notion of economy having been brought to the fore in all aspects of life that had once remain numbed or hidden by religion or tyranny. Man being what man is, we have elevated something in its place. It has forced us into a position where we choose to remain subjects or masters. Truly, the last transcendental act is to transcend economy and find true love. When capitalism has capitalized on the barest of desires and commodified it in clubs and dens, how will we be fully free? There are those that insist everything has a price. We dissent. Will you choose simple economy or will you choose free will in all matters of the flesh?

To the naked eye, this is the gentleman's conundrum. Everywhere there is the barest of flesh, nowhere is the barest of all things besides desire, that which is true love.

In keeping with this spirit, and in helping to ingratiate you all to the disc jockeys and women everywhere that keep notions like this at uncomfortable and identifiable distances, I give you all the ultimate non-rap strip club mix for that ultimate symbol of that in my life. Here it is from me to C.J.N., whose last name I know she told me but that I never got because I was so drunk twice when she happened to.

But first -- record scratches -- I want you to consider what this poster at reddit had to say. Perhaps it'll be a vibe killer, but just everybody knows I'm conscious of what I'm talkin' 'bout, here we go.

"Ahhh, OP is starry-eyed and hopes to capitalize strongly on the human sex trafficking industry. Good for you, young wannabe-hip male Redditor. Maybe one day a sad-eyed, drug-addicted woman who was molested from a young age, as women in the sex industry commonly are, will dance awkwardly before you to 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' by Johnny Cash. With a little luck, it will come true too."

So now that's all out of the way, let's get to the mix. This, of course, must be done in a sixty-minute mixtape format where one song flows to the next. It must groove, so no eighties metal, either. The BPMs mustn't rage too hard, nor be so subtle that there is no beat. Let's make it easy for the dancers and on the ears.

Side One - Opening/Movement I

Something To Look Forward To - Spoon (2:16)


Public Service Announcement - The Bravery (3:34) = 5:50


Midnight Show - The Killers (4:03) = 9:53


Dirty Eyes (Sex Don't Sell) - The Raveonettes (2:25) = 12:18


Folk Death 95 - Mogwai (3:36) = 15:54


Cherry Waves - Deftones (5:17) = 21:11


Oscillations - Silver Apples (2:47) = 23:58


Revolution - Spacemen 3 (5:57) = 29:55


Five seconds under. Flip tape.

Side Two - Movement II/Closing

Time To Pretend - MGMT (4:21)


Shove It - Santigold (3:45) = 8:06


Stop! - Jane's Addiction (3:54) = 12:00


Come Together - MC5 (4:34) = 16:34


Poetry Written In Gasoline - Refused (7:17) = 23:51


Touched - My Bloody Valentine (0:56) = 24:47


Life In A Glasshouse (Full Version) - Radiohead (5:06) = 29:53


Ladies and Gentlemen, good night. Hope you enjoyed the show.
 
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Anybody have songs to add to the list? I'm all ears. Eighties metal and hip hop are okay as contributions -- that is, if you like being led into a tourist trap.
 
I would love to go a to a strip club that played Mogwai or MBV but the closest I've ever come was hearing Spoon at a hipsterish old-school go-go establishment in South Philly. I'm sure it says terrible things about me, but I tended to get a little freaked out when a dancer had great musical taste. I remember one who went on-and-on about the genius of Wayne Coyne and how Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots was her personal theme song but the DJ wouldn't ever consider playing it. I actually found myself liking her as a "real person" which in turn made me feel like a total heel for paying to see her naked. This kind of inside-my-own-head thinking is why I'm a decidedly un-fun hang.

If you wanted a companion mix for great songs you actually might here in a club, it always starts with White/Rob Zombie for me. Probably Dragula but you can go with ***** Liquor Instead if you're feeling on the nose.

Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Dragula

***** Liquor
 
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I actually found myself liking her as a "real person" which in turn made me feel like a total heel for paying to see her naked. This kind of inside-my-own-thinking is why I'm a decidedly un-fun hang.

You see, this is the part where you are supposed to appoint yourself messiah and seek to transcend commodity by turning metaphorical water into actual wine. If you both wind up transcending commodity, you've won the game.
 
Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots

Flaming Lips. Ahhh...the official sound of Oklahoma, right? I don't think I've ever heard a song by them that didn't instantly leave me with a good feeling somehow, even at their most depressing.

I wouldn't call that too much in your own head, by the way. I'm trying to transcend commodity in a strip club here...that leaves me as the eggiest of eggheads.
 
I actually found myself liking her as a "real person" which in turn made me feel like a total heel for paying to see her naked. This kind of inside-my-own-thinking is why I'm a decidedly un-fun hang.

You see, this is the part where you are supposed to appoint yourself messiah and seek to transcend commodity by turning metaphorical water into actual wine. If you both wind up transcending commodity, you've won the game.
I'll have to try that line of reasoning if I ever come home with a dancer's number - I wasn't getting a lap dance, hon, I was transcending commodity.
 
I was transcending commodity.

That's the spirit. I remember telling a friend about the object of my desire and how I'd wanted to transcend commodity. He looked at me and said, "What happened? No, I'll tell you what happened. She transcended her *** right out of there is what happened."

So funny. So true. But the spirit of '05 is still alive.
 
I really can't believe I gave away my SECRET FOR PICKING UP STRIPPERS that I usually charge only $19.95 for. THIS IS ACTIONABLE MATERIAL, FELLAS.

Anybody who wants MORE SECRETS FOR PICKING UP THE WOMEN YOU LOVE via mixtape can PM shuke for further details.
 

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