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Dad jokes (1 Viewer)

Hastur

Hastur

Footballguy
My search on dad jokes didn't find anything.

I know there are joke threads, but Dad jokes are a different breed. They deserve their own thread.

In my opinion, there are two types of Dad jokes:

1. Pre-scripted, stupid jokes. Ones you read on Facebook or a joke book. A question and punchline type. If I hear/ read of one I want to tell my son, I will wait until I can work it into a conversation as smooth and natural as I can. Within 2-3 minutes of seeing/ talking to my son. Just plainly asking him a question and giving a punchline is kinda boring IMHO. 

2. Here is the essence of the true Dad joke. It is a spur-of-the-moment, situational timing joke. A joke that wouldn't make sense any other time. One that plays off what is happening/ being said at the time. Usually a 'one-liner'(as opposed to the question/ punchline format mentioned in #1. 

Thoughts?

 
Hastur said:
My search on dad jokes didn't find anything.

I know there are joke threads, but Dad jokes are a different breed. They deserve their own thread.

In my opinion, there are two types of Dad jokes:

1. Pre-scripted, stupid jokes. Ones you read on Facebook or a joke book. A question and punchline type. If I hear/ read of one I want to tell my son, I will wait until I can work it into a conversation as smooth and natural as I can. Within 2-3 minutes of seeing/ talking to my son. Just plainly asking him a question and giving a punchline is kinda boring IMHO. 

2. Here is the essence of the true Dad joke. It is a spur-of-the-moment, situational timing joke. A joke that wouldn't make sense any other time. One that plays off what is happening/ being said at the time. Usually a 'one-liner'(as opposed to the question/ punchline format mentioned in #1. 

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Surely you can't be serious

 
I don't like that all of my jokes now get lumped into the "Dad Joke" category.  I've had some good jokes, but my wife and daughter will look at each other and roll their eyes and be like, "Dad joke."  Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "WTH?  That was a pretty well crafted joke." 

 
Hastur said:
2. Here is the essence of the true Dad joke. It is a spur-of-the-moment, situational timing joke. A joke that wouldn't make sense any other time. One that plays off what is happening/ being said at the time. Usually a 'one-liner'(as opposed to the question/ punchline format mentioned in #1. 

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
Nothing beats a well-timed fart.  Always funny.

 
My daughter bought a scary doll for Halloween and was showing it to us.  She said she wanted to name it something but she couldn't think of anything.  My wife said, "Why not name it Annabelle, like the movies?"  Daughter rolled her eyes and said, "No.  It needs to be like an old person's name."  So I said, "How about Abraham Lincoln?" :rolleyes:

 
function Get-DadJoke {
[cmdletBinding()]
Param()
process {
$header = @{
Accept = "application/json"
}
$joke = Invoke-RestMethod -Uri "https://icanhazdadjoke.com/" -Method Get -Headers $header
$joke.joke
}
}


Paste that into your PowerShell console and run

Get-DadJoke


:nerd:

 
Keerock said:
function Get-DadJoke {
[cmdletBinding()]
Param()
process {
$header = @{
Accept = "application/json"
}
$joke = Invoke-RestMethod -Uri "https://icanhazdadjoke.com/" -Method Get -Headers $header
$joke.joke
}
}


Paste that into your PowerShell console and run

Get-DadJoke


:nerd:
Click to expand...
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

 
Asked Alexa to tell me a dad joke.

It was a real groaner. Told Alexa that was pretty bad.

She told me to get to the help desk if I wanted to make a complaint 

 
Daughter had a new girl start in her class today.  Teacher was having problems pronouncing her name, so she called the girl to her desk.  

Teacher: You have a very interesting name.  I've never met someone named "JKMN" before.  How do you pronounce it?

Girl: Oh it's easy...It's pronounced "No-Elle".

 
My 4 y.o. is at the phase where she asks a zillion questions a day.  So I've begun trying to "flip the question" and answer it, but not in the way she asked it.  For example: 

Her: "Dad, what's E.T. short for?" 

Me: "You saw him, he doesn't have legs!"

 
"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad."

 
in honor of Christmas....

A copy of The Christmas Carol just fell on my toe. It hurt like the Dickens.

Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee? Because they are Santa's Star Bucks. 

I know, I know....

 
I saw a group of ten ants crawling on my bedroom floor. I didn't have much to do so I built them a little cardboard house.

Technically that makes me their landlord and they are my tenants.
 
I told my roommate today the I think our house is haunted, he argued back though, "In the 216 years I have lived here I have not seen anything strange."

Can't argue with that.
 
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