Dear makers of Elf on a shelf (1 Viewer)

[belljr]

I can't wait for the 4 year old to walk in on Sebowski having sex.

I'd love to hear that conversation

 

[The Commish]

Worst fishing trip in a long time

 

[shadyridr]

I can't wait for the 4 year old to walk in on Sebowski having sex.

I'd love to hear that conversation

"Daddy, where do babies come from?"

"Well ya see son, I stick my penis in your mom's ###### and ejaculate my sperm into her and then 9 months later we had you!"

 

[flapgreen]

I truly don't understand why people lie this much toothier kids. I don't think it sets a very good example. Not blaming anybody. There is no stopping it at this point. I really just don't get why people make up this Santa thing. Now the elf on top of it. Just straight up lies.

Wow really? Where did you come from to think like this?Do you have kids?

I come from around here. Raised with Santa and everything. I just have a very hard time with lying. Like, it's a big deal for me. Big or small. Bothers the hell out of me. No kids. If I did I wouldn't raise them on lies. I believe in leading by example. But that's just me I guess. Different strokes.... Let's just leave it at that though.

Quick question. Be honest. Just curious. Do any of you regret going the santa and/or elf route? Do you stress about the conversation you are going to have to have with them about it some day? Or if you've already done that, did it make you rethink it? Seriously not trolling here. I can't blame anyone for doing it. It's what we know. It's who we are. I just don't get it.

Those damn liars

 

[SWC]

i am all against lying to kids to so every holiday season we would round up the neighborhood kids and make them watch nam footage and shout at them that santa was not real but that the commies were then we would parade them down to the old vets home and make them sing the battle hymn of the republic i know that seabasski approves so i sleep ok at night brohans take that to the bank

 

[DocHolliday]

Kids love the idea of Santa. Kids are happy thinking there is magic involved with Xmas. Kids have crazy imaginations. Who cares if we are providing an imaginary world with Santa or the Elf? My daughter will play with Barbies for an hour. Her imagination is crazy to watch. Should I tell her to stop since the plastic dolls cannot really talk or move?

It is day 8 of the Elf for us. The kid is still pumped every morning trying to find her Elf and see what she is up to.

We all believed in Santa when we were kids. Seems like it did no harm. (I am generalizing since a few of you are really screwed up. I doubt Santa had anything to do with that though).

 

[SWC]

when my kids were little we used to take them down to the hospital er and make them watch trauma cases coming in and then i would shout where is your santa claus now huh where is he but since then they have started to frown at guys showing up at the hospital drunk with there kids so the tradition has sort of died too bad seabasski would have loved it take that to the bank brohans

 

[DocHolliday]

SWC killing it in here.

Always.

 

[flapgreen]

Never guessed there would come a day where people would think of Santa as lying to their kids. Sheesh

 

[shadyridr]

"Daddy, am I gonna die eventually?"

"Yes"

 

[RBM]

"Daddy, am I gonna die eventually?"

"Yes"

More like "yes, and it could happen tomorrow"

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parent: You need to be nice to your little brother.

Kid: Why?

Parent: Because Elmo the Elf sitting over there on wet-bar will tell Santa you've been bad and you won't get any presents.

Kid: Oh, I thought you were going to say because "it's the right thing to do".

 

[AcerFC]

I think Sebowski is taking an unfair hit here. I get what he is saying, he just didn't say it well. Having said that, he doesn't have kids and things change a bit. Sex and death stuff posted here is evidence that honesty is not always best policy. Sure he can say we will talk about that when you are ready.

 

[Jaysus]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

 

[Tom Servo]

I truly don't understand why people lie this much toothier kids. I don't think it sets a very good example. Not blaming anybody. There is no stopping it at this point. I really just don't get why people make up this Santa thing. Now the elf on top of it. Just straight up lies.

Wow really? Where did you come from to think like this?

Do you have kids?

I come from around here. Raised with Santa and everything. I just have a very hard time with lying. Like, it's a big deal for me. Big or small. Bothers the hell out of me. No kids. If I did I wouldn't raise them on lies. I believe in leading by example. But that's just me I guess. Different strokes.... Let's just leave it at that though.

Quick question. Be honest. Just curious. Do any of you regret going the santa and/or elf route? Do you stress about the conversation you are going to have to have with them about it some day? Or if you've already done that, did it make you rethink it? Seriously not trolling here. I can't blame anyone for doing it. It's what we know. It's who we are. I just don't get it.

 

[Tom Servo]

I think Sebowski is taking an unfair hit here. I get what he is saying, he just didn't say it well. Having said that, he doesn't have kids and things change a bit. Sex and death stuff posted here is evidence that honesty is not always best policy. Sure he can say we will talk about that when you are ready.

Well, when you call it 'lying to your kids", I'd like to know a more reasonable way of stating that.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

 

[Tom Servo]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

All the "practice".

 

[TheIronSheik]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

Having them do chores around the house.

 

[Uwe Blab]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

All the "practice".

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

Having them do chores around the house.

Was thinking it was watching them fail at stuff.

 

[eoMMan]

Parent: You need to be nice to your little brother.

Kid: Why?

Parent: Because Elmo the Elf sitting over there on wet-bar will tell Santa you've been bad and you won't get any presents.

Kid: Oh, I thought you were going to say because "it's the right thing to do".

So that's the premise behind all of this? The elf is a snitch who reports back to Santa?

 

[SWC]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

having them get you beers it is cold on the walk out to the garage brohan take that to the bank

 

[TheIronSheik]

lying to children is half the fun of having children

What's the other half?

Having them do chores around the house.

Was thinking it was watching them fail at stuff.

Yogi Berra would say that that's the third half.

 

[MattFancy]

Kids love the idea of Santa. Kids are happy thinking there is magic involved with Xmas. Kids have crazy imaginations. Who cares if we are providing an imaginary world with Santa or the Elf? My daughter will play with Barbies for an hour. Her imagination is crazy to watch. Should I tell her to stop since the plastic dolls cannot really talk or move?

It is day 8 of the Elf for us. The kid is still pumped every morning trying to find her Elf and see what she is up to.

We all believed in Santa when we were kids. Seems like it did no harm. (I am generalizing since a few of you are really screwed up. I doubt Santa had anything to do with that though).

Yeah I don't get it. I never understood the backlash about this thing. This is the first year we've done the elf with our 3 y/o daughter and she loves it.

I love all the memes on FB about it. "Well we had Belt on a Shelf". Sorry your childhood sucked.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parent: You need to be nice to your little brother.

Kid: Why?

Parent: Because Elmo the Elf sitting over there on wet-bar will tell Santa you've been bad and you won't get any presents.

Kid: Oh, I thought you were going to say because "it's the right thing to do".

So that's the premise behind all of this? The elf is a snitch who reports back to Santa?

Per wiki

The story describes how Santa's "scout elves" hide in people's homes to watch over events. Once everyone goes to bed, the scout elf flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa the activities, good and bad, that have taken place throughout the day. Before the family wakes up each morning, the scout elf flies back from the North Pole and hides. By hiding in a new spot each morning around the house, the scout elf and the family play an on-going game of hide and seek.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Parent: You need to be nice to your little brother.

Kid: Why?

Parent: Because Elmo the Elf sitting over there on wet-bar will tell Santa you've been bad and you won't get any presents.

Kid: Oh, I thought you were going to say because "it's the right thing to do".

So that's the premise behind all of this? The elf is a snitch who reports back to Santa?

Per wiki

The story describes how Santa's "scout elves" hide in people's homes to watch over events. Once everyone goes to bed, the scout elf flies back to the North Pole to report to Santa the activities, good and bad, that have taken place throughout the day. Before the family wakes up each morning, the scout elf flies back from the North Pole and hides. By hiding in a new spot each morning around the house, the scout elf and the family play an on-going game of hide and seek.

WANK

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I think Sebowski is taking an unfair hit here. I get what he is saying, he just didn't say it well. Having said that, he doesn't have kids and things change a bit. Sex and death stuff posted here is evidence that honesty is not always best policy. Sure he can say we will talk about that when you are ready.

Not unfair, smug stupidity invites honest talk.

 

[NutterButter]

Parent: You need to be nice to your little brother.

Kid: Why?

Parent: Because Elmo the Elf sitting over there on wet-bar will tell Santa you've been bad and you won't get any presents.

Kid: Oh, I thought you were going to say because "it's the right thing to do".

Out of curiosity, do you have kids b/c that's not getting you anywhere?

 

[jomar]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

 

[shadyridr]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

 

[NutterButter]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

If that's so difficult, I'm a little concerned if the kids are being fed

 

[jomar]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

So you just move it a few feet every night? My kids would think that is stupid.

I ran out of spots to put him within 2 weeks of having him. Now going on year 3, the kids are like 'the elf is in the china cabinet AGAIN'. Kids want originality

 

[SWC]

here is what you do go buy a little skeleton and then make an elf hat and then some green felt shoes or something then just take away the elf for about a week and then dress the elf clothes on the little skeleton and let your kids find it in a mousetrap and then tell them they should found that little ratbasterd quicker and when they cry call them monsters and make them get you a beer take that to the bank bromigos

 

[RBM]

Honestly the only time the thing annoys me is when we forget and we're already in bed. Because I'm always the one getting up at that point.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

here is what you do go buy a little skeleton and then make an elf hat and then some green felt shoes or something then just take away the elf for about a week and then dress the elf clothes on the little skeleton and let your kids find it in a mousetrap and then tell them they should found that little ratbasterd quicker and when they cry call them monsters and make them get you a beer take that to the bank bromigos

yer killin' me

 

[flapgreen]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

So you just move it a few feet every night? My kids would think that is stupid. I ran out of spots to put him within 2 weeks of having him. Now going on year 3, the kids are like 'the elf is in the china cabinet AGAIN'. Kids want originality

2 weeks? You live in a 1 room house?

 

[flapgreen]

Honestly the only time the thing annoys me is when we forget and we're already in bed. Because I'm always the one getting up at that point.

Say that! Lol

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Moving the elf everything night is a PITA. The real fun is when the elf goes away after Christmas and your 5 yo cries for a week.

I can see how moving a 2 oz figure a few feet every night being a major pain

So you just move it a few feet every night? My kids would think that is stupid.I ran out of spots to put him within 2 weeks of having him. Now going on year 3, the kids are like 'the elf is in the china cabinet AGAIN'. Kids want originality

2 weeks? You live in a 1 room house?

Studio apt with murphy bed.

 

[flapgreen]

 

[Ned]

I love how this thread is outing all of the cranky old farts.

 

[UOFI_316]

The random nights I forget to move it, we go with the "Well I guess yesterday you weren't a good listener and the Elf didn't want to have to go tell that to Santa." Last year our elf showed up after Halloween trying to get the kids to behave better, I definitely used the same spots a few times.

Yesterday I put the elf in the bowl of candy that is still left from Halloween (maybe 8 things left in the bowl), the girls all freaked out that they couldn't get any candy. Today there was only 3 pieces left in the bowl "Guess the elf ate your candy last night."

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

The random nights I forget to move it, we go with the "Well I guess yesterday you weren't a good listener and the Elf didn't want to have to go tell that to Santa." Last year our elf showed up after Halloween trying to get the kids to behave better, I definitely used the same spots a few times.

Yesterday I put the elf in the bowl of candy that is still left from Halloween (maybe 8 things left in the bowl), the girls all freaked out that they couldn't get any candy. Today there was only 3 pieces left in the bowl "Guess the elf ate your candy last night."

All of this is weird.

 

[Kanil]

Mensch got into my 4 year old's Hanukkah gelt last night. Kid was NOT pleased. This is the best thing ever, I got chocolate and the mensch took the rap.

 

[UOFI_316]

The random nights I forget to move it, we go with the "Well I guess yesterday you weren't a good listener and the Elf didn't want to have to go tell that to Santa." Last year our elf showed up after Halloween trying to get the kids to behave better, I definitely used the same spots a few times.

Yesterday I put the elf in the bowl of candy that is still left from Halloween (maybe 8 things left in the bowl), the girls all freaked out that they couldn't get any candy. Today there was only 3 pieces left in the bowl "Guess the elf ate your candy last night."

All of this is weird.

Says someone who runs around with a horse head on.

 

[JB Breakfast Club]

We put a light up kendama in our 9 year old's stocking for St. Nick's Day and the 7 year old got a sweets kendama. Apparently, sweets are much better, so the Elf flew the LED one back to the store to exchange it...not so sure the 9 year old bought that one...

A few days earlier, we were at a holiday fundraiser, and he made the elf a sleigh at a DIY station. So now that's hidden under the bed waiting for some snow.

 

[E-Z Glider]

HE TOUCHED THE ELF!

 

[Ned]

HE TOUCHED THE ELF!

 

[AcerFC]

HE TOUCHED THE ELF!

priceless

Two more nights to go. Made it this year without forgetting thanks to Jaysus alarm clock reminder idea