Do You Hide The Fact You Came From Poor White Trash? (3 Viewers)

[cstu]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

 

[rockaction]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I know girls with whom I'm friends who use a different name on Facebook to get away from their families because they've caused them too much pain. Not embarrassment, per se, but a pure defense mechanism. These people are usually trying to duck unwanted attention from men, or in the case of these girls, from rougher areas and tattered family lives, their families.

 

[flapgreen]

You might not be alone but I'm not with you. I'm never ashamed of my family or where I come from. Most of them are hard core rednecks, which I'm definitely not. It still doesn't change how I feel about them or how I grew up. Now I can't say I was never ashamed of it but I was only a young punk then. When I grew up and realized how thankful I should be with where and how I grew up, I'm cool with it.

 

[cstu]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I know girls who I'm friends who use a different name on Facebook to get away from their families because they've caused them too much pain. Not embarrassment, per se, but a pure defense mechanism. These people are usually trying to duck unwanted attention from men, or in the case of these girls from rougher areas and tattered family lives, their families.

A lot of it was too get my mind away from the culture - since I moved in 2003 I've had two smart nieces get hooked on meth and drop out of high school. I have a couple cousins who went to college (stayed in Iowa), but I can't handle being around that sort of world anymore.

 

[EYLive]

I'm none of those three.

 

[grateful zed]

i grew up in a middle class family on the good side of town. college educated, athletic, sense of humor, etc.

then i discovered: weed, booze, gambling, girls, disc golf, hacky sack, etc.

now i am pretty much white trash.

 

[rockaction]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I know girls who I'm friends who use a different name on Facebook to get away from their families because they've caused them too much pain. Not embarrassment, per se, but a pure defense mechanism. These people are usually trying to duck unwanted attention from men, or in the case of these girls from rougher areas and tattered family lives, their families.

A lot of it was too get my mind away from the culture - since I moved in 2003 I've had two smart nieces get hooked on meth and drop out of high school. I have a couple cousins who went to college (stayed in Iowa), but I can't handle being around that sort of world anymore.

Yes, one of the girls I'm thinking of specifically had had bad things happen to her and a drug culture around her that's pretty bad in comparison to the rest of the state. She could probably empathize with exactly what you're saying. Fresh start, and almost a mental break and clean identity.

 

[flapgreen]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I know girls who I'm friends who use a different name on Facebook to get away from their families because they've caused them too much pain. Not embarrassment, per se, but a pure defense mechanism. These people are usually trying to duck unwanted attention from men, or in the case of these girls from rougher areas and tattered family lives, their families.

A lot of it was too get my mind away from the culture - since I moved in 2003 I've had two smart nieces get hooked on meth and drop out of high school. I have a couple cousins who went to college (stayed in Iowa), but I can't handle being around that sort of world anymore.

What sort of world? Is it because some of them are on drugs or because of the location of the country they live in?

 

[flapgreen]

i grew up in a middle class family on the good side of town. college educated, athletic, sense of humor, etc.

then i discovered: weed, booze, gambling, girls, disc golf, hacky sack, etc.

now i am pretty much white trash.

 

[cstu]

You might not be alone but I'm not with you. I'm never ashamed of my family or where I come from. Most of them are hard core rednecks, which I'm definitely not. It still doesn't change how I feel about them or how I grew up. Now I can't say I was never ashamed of it but I was only a young punk then. When I grew up and realized how thankful I should be with where and how I grew up, I'm cool with it.

Part of it I brought on myself by moving to the richest part of LA and surrounding myself with doctors, lawyers, and other professionals - most of whom come from middle class backgrounds at worst. There are times from my childhood that haunt me but overall I'm very thankful for what I learned from it. Just don't feel comfortable talking to people about my family because I have the idea in my head that people won't be able to comprehend it or I'll be judged negatively by it.

 

[cstu]

I'm none of those three.

 

[tdoss]

I was first to graduate high school in my family...come from very poor lifestyle in Southern Virginia.

Drugs, alcohol, abuse in all forms...I moved away when I graduated and joined the Marine Corps.

Stationed in Southern California in '90 and stayed ever since.

Didn't return to my hometown for 22 years.

I don't hide my upbringing...but it's not something I'd be quick to return to anytime soon...especially since it's all gone downhill since I left. My hometown is currently 7th poorest city in the nation.

I dropped my accent many years ago...but every now and then, it comes out (angry, drunk or just very relaxed/comfortable)...my daughter will sometimes mock me or take notice when it comes out. She thinks it's forced or I'm faking it when I use my native tongue.

 

[tdoss]

You might not be alone but I'm not with you. I'm never ashamed of my family or where I come from. Most of them are hard core rednecks, which I'm definitely not. It still doesn't change how I feel about them or how I grew up. Now I can't say I was never ashamed of it but I was only a young punk then. When I grew up and realized how thankful I should be with where and how I grew up, I'm cool with it.

Part of it I brought on myself by moving to the richest part of LA and surrounding myself with doctors, lawyers, and other professionals - most of whom come from middle class backgrounds at worst. There are times from my childhood that haunt me but overall I'm very thankful for what I learned from it. Just don't feel comfortable talking to people about my family because I have the idea in my head that people won't be able to comprehend it or I'll be judged negatively by it.

I know what you mean...I'm surrounded by people who have no idea what it's like to struggle.

They can't relate and I can't fathom what it's like growing up in a stable environment.

 

[Gandalf the Grey]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I grew up poor white trash (not even lower middle class). The worst thing was I *knew* myfamily was poor white trash-no blissful ignorance. I was definitely embarrassed-wore the same few things to school every day and was mocked for it at times (at least until I got involved in sports).

Both my parents were high school dropouts, heavy drinkers/smokers, very poor. My father was the stereotypical 50's "greaser". We drank powdered milk until I was in 9th grade, didn't get real milk until my Dad bought a cow-which we had to milk every morning (fun at 5am before school).

My father was skilled with his hands and had a very strong work ethic. He was also very proud and wouldn't take any kind of assistance. Got his GED, college degree, and job at local vocational school, which solved the money issue. Lots of other problems though, was kind of a "Jerry Springer" life and I'm still embarrassed about a lot of it.

My father became a wonderful human being and great grandfather to my son. I don't speak much-if at all-to my mother/brother/sister for various reasons-mostly their behavior including explicit racist stuff and just low class behavior involving my son.

I'm the only one in both my immediate and extended family to have gone to college. Most people know what my family is like, I certainly don't hide it (well most of it) but neither do I bring it up.

 

[tipsy mcstagger]

Powdered Milk, discounted school lunches, and hamburger-less hamburger helper and proud of it. More like I'm proud of my mom for getting us through that while working full time and going to nursing school.

 

[PIK95]

I watch Shameless and think they have it good. ;-)

"My hat is off to you now, cause I ain't never had to drink this powdered milk you got here at Folsom."

Honestly, I have never even seen powdered milk nor had to drink it. Healthy food was another story.

 

[cstu]

Powdered Milk, discounted school lunches, and hamburger-less hamburger helper and proud of it. More like I'm proud of my mom for getting us through that while working full time and going to nursing school.

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I grew up poor white trash (not even lower middle class). The worst thing was I *knew* myfamily was poor white trash-no blissful ignorance. I was definitely embarrassed-wore the same few things to school every day and was mocked for it at times (at least until I got involved in sports).

Both my parents were high school dropouts, heavy drinkers/smokers, very poor. My father was the stereotypical 50's "greaser". We drank powdered milk until I was in 9th grade, didn't get real milk until my Dad bought a cow-which we had to milk every morning (fun at 5am before school).

My father was skilled with his hands and had a very strong work ethic. He was also very proud and wouldn't take any kind of assistance. Got his GED, college degree, and job at local vocational school, which solved the money issue. Lots of other problems though, was kind of a "Jerry Springer" life and I'm still embarrassed about a lot of it.

My father became a wonderful human being and great grandfather to my son. I don't speak much-if at all-to my mother/brother/sister for various reasons-mostly their behavior including explicit racist stuff and just low class behavior involving my son.

I'm the only one in both my immediate and extended family to have gone to college. Most people know what my family is like, I certainly don't hide it (well most of it) but neither do I bring it up.

I was never embarrassed by money issues - while we didn't have much we had the basics (never had powdered milk, but had gov't cheese, reduced lunch) and I didn't understand what we didn't have until later (mainly when I went to the top public high school in town my soph year and saw how other people were living). Things probably wouldn't have been so bad if my dad hadn't died when I was 8 - that really set us back. If anything having little money made me want to get an education and do better financially.

Like Tipsy I'm proud and thankful to my mother for getting us through those times. She did some things that I have a hard time forgiving her for (like allowing me to get beaten by my alcoholic stepdad right in front of her when I had done nothing to deserve it) but she taught me you can survive anything.

Despite all that it's tough for me not to judge my family and be proud enough to talk about them. It's hard because none of them are as motivated to do better with they're lives as I am. Over time I'm getting better at accepting them and trying to build relationships back.

 

[cstu]

I watch Shameless and think they have it good. ;-)

"My hat is off to you now, cause I ain't never had to drink this powdered milk you got here at Folsom."

Honestly, I have never even seen powdered milk nor had to drink it. Healthy food was another story.

I can't force myself to watch shows like that.

 

[MC Gas Money]

Nah I dont hide it

 

[cstu]

Nah I dont hide it

But do you hang around rich educated people?

 

[Tom Servo]

That's probably an exaggeration since my parents worked but I grew up very lower middle class, especially after my dad died when I was eight. Even from an early age I was embarrassed by my family (not primarily money, but alcoholism and attitudes) and was determined to get away from where I grew up. So I went to college and as soon as I finished my master's degree I got as far away as I could (California) and rarely speak to family besides my mom. Today even though I'm successful (enough for me) I try to avoid talking about my family with people I meet.

I owe a lot to how I grew up (value of money, not needing to live extravagantly) but always feel uncomfortable when the subject of my family comes up.

Am I alone in doing this?

I don't think so. Before my folks, there was a lot of trashy elements to the family. My parents started with almost nothing and dad got on at the power company shortly after I was born. He took all the OT he could, paid things off as he could, etc.

However, he was not much of a loving father and so I am probably a man with dad issues. Dad was also very controlling and didn't like it when I made decisions that ran counter to what he wanted for me. As I became successful in my own right, I think he became resentful that I didn't do it "his way". Where a normal father would express pride in his son's accomplishments, he never said anything to me about it.

Nowadays, I have almost no contact with my folks or siblings. I'm seen as the black sheep of the kids - ironic as my brother (who used to hold that title) is in jail now. I decided long ago that I can't live my life waiting on my family's affirmation. Coupled with the fact that I wasn't at all popular in high school, when someone asks where I'm from, I tell them where I went to college.

After my 100-year old grandmother dies, I'll probably not go back to my hometown ever again.

 

[JaxBill]

Powdered Milk, discounted school lunches, and hamburger-less hamburger helper and proud of it. More like I'm proud of my mom for getting us through that while working full time and going to nursing school.

I can remember going to a friend's house and his mother bringing out a plate of cookies and milk for the group of probably 8 year olds. A couple kids went for the cookies, I started guzzzling down the real milk since it wasn't the nasty powdered stuff.

 

[JaxBill]

Hide it? Sure with a thin coat of nearly transparent varnish.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

If powdered milk is the demarcation line for white trash, well then I come from white trash. I am not in the least shamed by those from whom I descended. Likely I should be more shamed by some of my own actions, but really, many of them I wear as a badge of honor.

 

[Osaurus]

Was on the edge of lower middle class upper white trash as a kid. For me it's something I own as it laid the foundation for who I am today. I still love scrapple to this day (Philly born and raised).

 

[belljr]

Dad was a mechanic until he got a job for the town. We were very blue collar but not trailer trashy. They didn'tdo dumb redneck stuff. That being said we ddidn't have a lot of money. Once I got to high school we were doing ok.

I wanted to get away from my town more than my parents

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I'm drunk again excuse the hiccup, the redneck originator rollin in my pickup------Embrace your past, you are who you are because of it.

 

[roadkill1292]

I have zero problem with friends and co-workers (I work at a university) knowing that I come from a blue collar background. Second one in the family to earn a college degree. If they can't judge me for me, then they're the ones with the problem.

 

[SWC]

you guys are all awesome for having come through it keep climbing and do not forget where you came because it drove you to succeed but sure as hell do not go back damn straight

 

[Limp Ditka]

Id say that I come from middle to upper middle class white trash.

Some fat years, some lean years, but never any of this weird powered milk stuff you people are talking about

Remember getting everything, and more, that I wanted for Xmas one year and an IOU the next.

Regardless of what the years were at that time, my parents spent every dime before it got in the house.

Both parents worked, and the house was never taken care of because they were 'tired' from working all day..

Mom wouldn't expect me to clean up after them, but to at least take care of my own stuff and clean up after myself.

step father wouldn't lift a finger and had a 'that's what we have the kid for' mentality which made for some knockdown, drag out fights once I hit my teenaged years and started questioning the 'we' part of his equation.

This usually resulted in weeds in the unkept yard, dishes in the sink were a constant. Plenty of half done projects around the house

Still love them both and appreciate what they did for me. They pulled no punches about who they were and what their faults were. Always brutally frank. Because of that, I learned a lot from their mistakes over the years and have come out on the other side better off than they were. To me, that means that thry had to do something right.

 

[flapgreen]

You might not be alone but I'm not with you. I'm never ashamed of my family or where I come from. Most of them are hard core rednecks, which I'm definitely not. It still doesn't change how I feel about them or how I grew up. Now I can't say I was never ashamed of it but I was only a young punk then. When I grew up and realized how thankful I should be with where and how I grew up, I'm cool with it.

Part of it I brought on myself by moving to the richest part of LA and surrounding myself with doctors, lawyers, and other professionals - most of whom come from middle class backgrounds at worst. There are times from my childhood that haunt me but overall I'm very thankful for what I learned from it. Just don't feel comfortable talking to people about my family because I have the idea in my head that people won't be able to comprehend it or I'll be judged negatively by it.

There's not really a reason to discuss your background unless asked, but if people are going to judge you based on it, their opinion isn't worth much.

 

[DocHolliday]

I grew up in the rust belt in the 70s. Dad lost his job at a steel mill when I was about 10 and we went from a middle class family to a lower class family overnight. Since many other families in the area were in the same boat, I did not really know how poor we were until I went away to college.

I know all about alcoholism, government cheese, powdered milk, reduced and then free school lunches. The special free lunch tickets were probably the most embarrasing thing at the time.

I was a little resentful of my parents for being poor as I grew up but when I "grew up" I realized that they did the best they could with HS educations in a rough situation. My parents did the best that they could with HS educations in a rough situation. I could not wait to move away after college but returned after 15 years to be close to my family. My parents and siblings are all close since we spent a lot of time together growing up. Things for different then. For example, we only had one TV so evenings were spent in room together.

 

[Jack White]

Actually, I was born a poor black child, so I had my #### shortened and now I live in a van down by the river.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

Love me some government cheese.

 

[belljr]

If anything I don't want to be associated with the yuppies I live around now

 

[johnnycakes]

"... I might have been born just plain white trash but Fancy was my name..."

 

[Zow]

Nah I dont hide it

But do you hang around rich educated people?

He puts up with quite a bit to stay here at the ffa so I think definitely so.

 

[eoMMan]

Powdered Milk, discounted school lunches, and hamburger-less hamburger helper and proud of it. More like I'm proud of my mom for getting us through that while working full time and going to nursing school.

I think this is right approach. Own it. Be proud of how far you've come and how your family made ends meet growing up on very little money.

If a multi millionaire told me his parents made $30k growing up, I would think more highly of him compared to if he told me his parents were making $300k.

 

[Sweet J]

I absolutely love my family, and I got over being embarrassed by my mom years ago. But still, it's hard to see her struggle with "normal" interactions. She is perfectly fine socially around the poor, working class, alcoholics, and drug users (recovering and active), but around upper-middle class or higher, her anxiety makes her act so strange, and oftentimes offensive. Oh, well.

One other aspect of growing up poor: For some reason I refuse to buy anything from a yardsale, garage sale, goodwill, salvation army, or the like. It's not that I think I'm too good for it. Just brings back too many weird memories of scrounging for money. I refuse to buy someone else's cast-off.

Oh, and I'm also weird about money with friends. I hate having other people pay for stuff when I go out. I end up picking up the tab more than I should, or paying a bigger portion than I should. Probably because I'm insecure that someone may be thinking that I'm trying to get away with paying too little.

So those are my quirks from growing up with less.

 

[MCguidance]

I'm fortunate enough to have had the opposite experience. Not to say that everything was perfect, but my parents are amazing people and my 4 brothers are successful. I refuse to move away since they are a huge part of my family, and my fiancee is adored by all of them.

 

[Da Guru]

No..

My parents were working class poor but far from trash. In fact both of them came from such poverty that they were very proud of the small home we grew up in. We never had anything new but everything we had was spotless and perfectly maintained. My dad worked 2 jobs most of my youth and could fix anything. My mother was a seamstress and would sew for hours on end in our basement. Took one vacation and it was a day trip to Cedar Point.

I really never knew how little we had until I went to HS and was playing sports in different communities. Then I was exposed to areas in the suburbs that I never knew existed and thought..wow these homes are huge mansions. They were probably 1500 sq ft homes.

 

[flapgreen]

I absolutely love my family, and I got over being embarrassed by my mom years ago. But still, it's hard to see her struggle with "normal" interactions. She is perfectly fine socially around the poor, working class, alcoholics, and drug users (recovering and active), but around upper-middle class or higher, her anxiety makes her act so strange, and oftentimes offensive. Oh, well.

One other aspect of growing up poor: For some reason I refuse to buy anything from a yardsale, garage sale, goodwill, salvation army, or the like. It's not that I think I'm too good for it. Just brings back too many weird memories of scrounging for money. I refuse to buy someone else's cast-off.

Oh, and I'm also weird about money with friends. I hate having other people pay for stuff when I go out. I end up picking up the tab more than I should, or paying a bigger portion than I should. Probably because I'm insecure that someone may be thinking that I'm trying to get away with paying too little.

So those are my quirks from growing up with less.

Relax a little more. It's ok.

 

[flapgreen]

Powdered Milk, discounted school lunches, and hamburger-less hamburger helper and proud of it. More like I'm proud of my mom for getting us through that while working full time and going to nursing school.

I think this is right approach. Own it. Be proud of how far you've come and how your family made ends meet growing up on very little money. If a multi millionaire told me his parents made $30k growing up, I would think more highly of him compared to if he told me his parents were making $300k.

Each generation of my family has been better off than the previous one. That's something to be proud of, not embarrassed about.

 

[flapgreen]

If anything I don't want to be associated with the yuppies I live around now

yup

 

[roadkill1292]

I didn't know this psychological phenomenon even existed. There are millions of us who have climbed the financial/educational/social ladder. Despite the slowing of class mobility in this country, it still happens all the time in huge numbers. I would guess that most of us are but a few generations at most removed from humble lifestyles.

 

[jonessed]

I grew up relatively poor but went to a good school. I don't see any reason to be ashamed of it or hide it. Some family members can be embarrassing, but there are still family and I love them. Helping them with messed up finances can be a royal pain in the ###, but I still assist where I can. Focus on the good and accept the bad.

I feel no need to try to be something I'm not or pretend that it hasn't influenced my life. Nothing positive can come from that.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I owe a lot to my white trash relatives. I think I was about 10 when I decided I would never drink. Every holiday, the aunts and uncles would get drunk and argue....every. single. time.

Fast forward 30 years and Ive never drank. From what I can tell, I havent missed much.

 

[Da Guru]

I owe a lot to my white trash relatives. I think I was about 10 when I decided I would never drink. Every holiday, the aunts and uncles would get drunk and argue....every. single. time.

Fast forward 30 years and Ive never drank. From what I can tell, I havent missed much.

I have relatives that never drink and still argue every holiday. It forces me to drink to deal with them.

 

[wikkidpissah]

My annual family reunions are a hoot. My father's line features a couple centuries of inbreeding among 3 families who farmed the same hill in northernmost VT. My grandfather, thx to letting his barn out to bootleggers as a relay, could afford to send away for a mail-order bride. The resulting 10 offspring are a wild ride. Four stone genii - my uncle Art got the 1st perfect score in UVM's organic chem final, dad invented the growlight - six knuckledraggin goomers of the ilk that spent generations drooling, nailing livestock and burning farmhouses down around their families from cabin fever. First wkend of each August is an anthropological holiday!

 

[mr roboto]

I had someone of the opposite experience because I grew up in a small town with a lot of working-class poor families. My father died when I was young so I was raised by a single mother. We lived in a small home that we owned and my mother lived paycheck to paycheck my entire life.

But I had some advantages that most kids in my town did not have - because my father died young and he was an only child and I was his only child, my father's parents were successful small business people who had some money. Think about the old couple who is a millionaire but you would never know it by the way they live or the cars they drive.

These grandparents were 1500 miles away from my hometown so none of my friends knew them at all but I always had the things that I needed like new clothes, a computer for school when I went into ninth grade, a used car paid for when I was 16, a cell phone and some other items.

I never wanted big toys like four wheelers or snowmobiles or motorcycles and I always try to decline any gifts or any trips or anything that they wanted to give me because I was somewhat embarrassed that I had some financial advantages than most of my friends did not have.

Part of the reason I don't go back home is because I've now inherited a sizable portfolio which does not make me independently wealthy but certainly gives us the ability to live very comfortably for people our age with the type of job that I have. We could live in a bigger home and drive a nicer car and spend money on elaborate vacations but we choose not to in part because of the area I grew up in and how showing off any money was very frowned upon because most people didn't have any extra money.

My best friend from high school got drunk one night when I was hanging out with him in college and basically told me that he was jealous of my family background and the fact that I had things that I didn't work for or deserve. My retort to him was, "yeah well I lost my dad at seven years old and I have no aunts, uncles, cousins or any real family history at all. I will be starting out my own life on my own with no legacy and no guidance."

This post isn't meant to be a humble brag but the reality is because my father and my grandparents on that side of the family are all gone I do have a sizable leg up financially which my wife and I have chosen to roll back into investing in a couple businesses that I'm a part of building. In 10 to 15 years if we are very clearly well off I want the story to be that I took what my family had built for 50 years and invested and worked hard to build my own legacy.