Fake hand washing in restroom (1 Viewer)

[Johnny Rock]

I know a CEO who does this. I've called him on it, and despite irrefutable proof, he denies it.

 

[KCitons]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

 

[NutterButter]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

 

[comfortably numb]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

 

[KCitons]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

 

[msommer]

One of my old bosses washed his hands before peeing, After finishing he would zip up, take a paper towel and proceed to the exit, opening the door with the paper towel, dumping it in the garbage bin outside.

Me: : :whoosh:

 

[playin4beer]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

 

[jon_mx]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

 

[PlasmaDogPlasma]

I pull my pants down and wash my penis and crotch at the sink since I just had my dirty hand down there.

 

[Fennis]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

you should get that checked out

 

[B-Deep]

to be clear

i have less of a problem with people who don't wash than I do with people who poorly fake it.

If you are a non wash then by all means, do not wash! If you are self conscious about it you probably should just wash, but if you insist on faking show a little effort! I hate it when people get lazy on their attempts at deception.

 

[PlasmaDogPlasma]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

You might want to have that looked at.

 

[jon_mx]

I don't touch my penis when I pee. Am I exempt from the obligatory hand wash? I do touch my hair a lot throughout the day. Maybe I should have a sink installed in my office.

Pubic hair? Then yes, you should have a sink installed in your office. Or just get one of those jars of combs. The kind they had in the old timey barber shops.

I don't have pubic hair.

you should get that checked out

Ball cancer.

 

[Guest]

One of my old bosses washed his hands before peeing, After finishing he would zip up, take a paper towel and proceed to the exit, opening the door with the paper towel, dumping it in the garbage bin outside.

Me: : :whoosh:

I had a coworker that did this also. He would wash up like a surgeon before using the restroom.

 

[B-Deep]

As for pubes, pubes on the urinal is another pet peeve.

listen, you let that #### grow as much as you want, perm it braid it flat iron it go with dreds, none of it is my business, but if your pubes keep falling out on the urinal either trim em up or go get check as to what might be causing your junk hair to fall out

 

[Ditka Butkus]

to be clear

i have less of a problem with people who don't wash than I do with people who poorly fake it.

If you are a non wash then by all means, do not wash! If you are self conscious about it you probably should just wash, but if you insist on faking show a little effort! I hate it when people get lazy on their attempts at deception.

Is it deception......or maybe they are just plain lazy. Do they run the water and not put their hands in it? Do they run hands quickly under water?

 

[jon_mx]

As for pubes, pubes on the urinal is another pet peeve.

listen, you let that #### grow as much as you want, perm it braid it flat iron it go with dreds, none of it is my business, but if your pubes keep falling out on the urinal either trim em up or go get check as to what might be causing your junk hair to fall out

I had to go with a comb over the last few years.

 

[Tom Servo]

Is someone a grumpy McGrumpypants today?

 

[B-Deep]

to be clear

i have less of a problem with people who don't wash than I do with people who poorly fake it.

If you are a non wash then by all means, do not wash! If you are self conscious about it you probably should just wash, but if you insist on faking show a little effort! I hate it when people get lazy on their attempts at deception.

Is it deception......or maybe they are just plain lazy. Do they run the water and not put their hands in it? Do they run hands quickly under water?

i am unsure if their hands ever touch the water, but i do not believe so

there is not enough time to even fake soap though

 

[B-Deep]

Is someone a grumpy McGrumpypants today?

if you love me enough to deceive me, love me enough to do it well!

sometimes i want to say "come on, that was not even a good fake, put some heart into it!!!"

but, i would not. i have a strict prohibition on bathroom confrontations

 

[E-Z Glider]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

 

[one time]

As a tangent, the people I would like to die a slow painful death are those inconsiderate jackholes that feel the need to pee standing up in the privacy of their own stall and proceed to pee all over the seat so when I need to drop a deuce the toilet seat has been coated with pee.

 

[Tom Servo]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

I hate it when I can't do what I tell my kids not to do, too.

 

[VA703]

As a tangent, the people I would like to die a slow painful death are those inconsiderate jackholes that feel the need to pee standing up in the privacy of their own stall and proceed to pee all over the seat so when I need to drop a deuce the toilet seat has been coated with pee.

how bout those that don't flush

 

[VA703]

ive left a impressive 2 foot non disconnected log with corns that actually extended from the very bottom of the bowl to hanging over the seat and down the side

it weighed in at 7.6 Couric's which is The standard unit measurement for mass weight of feces

I figured it was a work of art

 

[B-Deep]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

do you give them a believable fake?

 

[gianmarco]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

I hate it when I can't do what I tell my kids not to do, too.

 

[E-Z Glider]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

do you give them a believable fake?

Someone with a keen sense of faking such as yourself wouldn't fall for it, but they're dumb kids.

 

[B-Deep]

I dont bother with "the fake" at work because I really dont GAF what the anal germaphobes think.

I do have to use "the fake" at home though because we've taught our kids to wash their hands after the bathroom and they listen outside the bathroom and call me out on it.

do you give them a believable fake?

Someone with a keen sense of faking such as yourself wouldn't fall for it, but they're dumb kids.

as long as you know your audience and fake to the appropriate level, you are a good man in my book

 

[Ned]

As for pubes, pubes on the urinal is another pet peeve.

listen, you let that #### grow as much as you want, perm it braid it flat iron it go with dreds, none of it is my business, but if your pubes keep falling out on the urinal either trim em up or go get check as to what might be causing your junk hair to fall out

 

[Franknbeans]

I pee in the sink

 

[Zow]

Here's the deal. The main reason you wash your hands after peeing isn't to get the piss off of them; it's to get all of the germs off of your

hands that you've collected since the last time

you washed.

Do you wash immediately before receiving : yes: ?

 

[KCitons]

Occasionally, I decide to fake it. But, when I do, I make it believable. I run my hand under warm water for about 5 seconds, then use an ample amount of soap (making sure to scrub the front and back of my hands). After about 30 seconds, I figure I've got em fooled. I rinse, dry, and exit thinking to myself "suckers"

 

[johnnycakes]

I'm bringing a comb to the men's room so I can comb some pubes out onto the urinal in honor of this thread.

 

[avoiding injuries]

My hand washing also depends on who is in the bathroom with me.

 

[B-Deep]

I'm bringing a comb to the men's room so I can comb some pubes out onto the urinal in honor of this thread.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

Occasionally, I decide to fake it. But, when I do, I make it believable. I run my hand under warm water for about 5 seconds, then use an ample amount of soap (making sure to scrub the front and back of my hands). After about 30 seconds, I figure I've got em fooled. I rinse, dry, and exit thinking to myself "suckers"

Nobody will fall for that ...unless you are singing

http://www.theartofwashinghands.com/sing-the-songs.html

 

[Paulymaggs]

Comb 'em!

 

[Ted Mullins]

I do this. Worst is when someone else is at the sink at the same time and you actually have to wash.

 

[belljr]

One time a work buddy an i happen to be in the restroom washing our hands shooting the #### about the game the night before. Some dude flushes..opens up a stall and walks right out of the bathroom. We were speechless. ..... almost positive he was dumping

 

[El Floppo]

I've been faking pretty much everything I do for a while now.

Washing my hands, otoh- no freaking way... I'm a handwashing pro.

 

[TheAristocrat]

I work with a dude that doesn't even bother fake washing after dropping a deuce. I've never seen him even give the sink a second look in the bathroom. He just flat out refuses to ever wash his hands.

He's the CEO.

 

[mozzy84]

more bathrooms should have the thing at the bottom of the door you can hook with your foot and open the door. I just saw this a few weeks back and thought it was maybe the greatest thing ever. sometimes feels like a waste of time washing hands and having to grab the door handle.