Favorite Bible verses? (1 Viewer)

[matuski]

"Watch ye therefore, for ye know not when the master of the house cometh."

Nor if he will come at all, am i right?

 

[butcher boy]

I really love the Bible because of how it captures how life was thousands of years ago.

6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.According to the Bible, you are plans on getting to heaven just went out the window.

Heaven sounds really boring according to this.

 

[Jayrod]

I really love the Bible because of how it captures how life was thousands of years ago.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. People are people.

Ecclesiastes 1:9-11

What has been will be again,

what has been done will be done again;

there is nothing new under the sun.

10 Is there anything of which one can say,

“Look! This is something new”?

It was here already, long ago;

it was here before our time.

11 No one remembers the former generations,

and even those yet to come

will not be remembered

by those who follow them.

 

[eoMMan]

Feeling mad hostile,

Wearing Aeropostale,

Flowing like Christ when I speaks the gospel.

 

[butcher boy]

Then Judah said to Onan, "Go in to your brother's wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother." 9Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. 10But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.…

 

[joffer]

Thou shalt not take... moochers into thy... hut''

 

[B-Deep]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

 

[kentric]

Covet not your neighbor's camel toe

Fixed for accuracy.

touche.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

How is sharing the inerrant word of god 'mocking' and 'trolling'?

 

[Eminence]

How is sharing the inerrant word of god 'mocking' and 'trolling'?

Well, there's an inherent difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament, first of all. Somebody with a working knowledge of that wouldn't blindly sling that around. And even at that point, you're just being anti-Semitic.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

How is sharing the inerrant word of god 'mocking' and 'trolling'?

Well, there's an inherent difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament, first of all. Somebody with a working knowledge of that wouldn't blindly sling that around.

It is the word of god.

And even at that point, you're just being anti-Semitic.

Pretty sure you have zero clue what that means.

 

[butcher boy]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

This is a thread for posting favorite bible verses. The ones centered around fornicating, drunkards, and seed spilling are my favorites because that is what my life is all about basically.

 

[coyote5]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

My first inclination was the standard "new around here" post. But then I saw you have over 30k posts, so I'm not really sure what to tell you.

Awww hell.... New around here?

 

[joffer]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

the ridiculous ones are my favorite

 

[CowboysFromHell]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

This is a thread for posting favorite bible verses. The ones centered around fornicating, drunkards, and seed spilling are my favorites because that is what my life is all about basically.

Also, maybe some folks favorite bible verses are the ones that make the bible look the most ridiculous? Seems to be on topic.

 

[Limp Ditka]

"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the
beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and
sixty six."

 

[joffer]

And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.

 

[timschochet]

I really love the Bible because of how it captures how life was thousands of years ago.

6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, 6:10 Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.According to the Bible, you are plans on getting to heaven just went out the window.

Heaven sounds really boring according to this.

what does "abusers of themselves" mean? Does that mean what I think it means?

 

[Jobber]

The End.

 

[E Street Brat]

I must be mad thinking

I'll be remembered yes.

I must be out of my head.

Look at your blank faces

my name will mean nothing

ten minutes after I'm dead

 

[timschochet]

I must be mad thinking

I'll be remembered yes.

I must be out of my head.

Look at your blank faces

my name will mean nothing

ten minutes after I'm dead

when did Tim Rice get a chapter?

 

[rustycolts]

If God be for us, who can be against us?

 

[matuski]

How is sharing the inerrant word of god 'mocking' and 'trolling'?

Well, there's an inherent difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament, first of all. Somebody with a working knowledge of that wouldn't blindly sling that around. And even at that point, you're just being anti-Semitic.

All of mine have been New Test, predicting this response.

 

[zamboni]

Big fan of the Byrds:

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 

[jon_mx]

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

Unfortunately translations from one language to another is often imperfect. The word hate here should be to love less, which is consistent with similar verses in other books, meaning you should love God above all others.

 

[joffer]

"If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

Unfortunately translations from one language to another is often imperfect.

Kind of like "young woman" and "virgin"

 

[tri-man 47]

Psalm 23:4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Something I like regarding Psalm 23: It talks about the shepherd and refers to the "green grass." In the gospel of Mark, the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 states that the people sat down on the "green grass." Only Mark includes this detailed description. I believe the writer, seeing Jesus feeding his 'flock,' thought back to Psalm 23 and the reference to the green grass. The writer makes the connection of Jesus as the Good Shepherd, leading his people.

--

My favorite:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Psalm 23:4

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Something I like regarding Psalm 23: It talks about the shepherd and refers to the "green grass." In the gospel of Mark, the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 states that the people sat down on the "green grass." Only Mark includes this detailed description. I believe the writer, seeing Jesus feeding his 'flock,' thought back to Psalm 23 and the reference to the green grass. The writer makes the connection of Jesus as the Good Shepherd, leading his people.

--

My favorite:

Jeremiah 29:11-13

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

I think about this verse when things seem overwhelming. It's kind of my mantra that tells me not to be afraid. I think it's kind of cool.

 

[Gawain]

A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.

 

[Long Ball Larry]

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand."
Homer: [pointing a finger] And you remember
[thinks]
Homer: Matthew... 21:17.
Reverend Lovejoy: [confused] "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?"
Homer: Yeah. Think about it.

 

[timschochet]

Big fan of the Byrds:

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

even without the 12 string Rickenbacker, it still sounds pretty good.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Big fan of the Byrds:

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

1 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

7 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

8 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Sucks that Solomon didn't give credit to Pete Seeger.

 

[dgreen]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

I see where you're coming from and I don't really understand why they do it either other than to get a rise out of some. It really doesn't bother me, though. And, honestly, I'm more annoyed with the religious who feel the need to get into a battle over everything and defend each and every verse. But that's just me.

 

[jamny]

Deut. 23:1

No man whose testic### have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the Assembly of God.

 

[Godsbrother]

And the Lord sayeth to Jonah: "Man with hole in pocket will feel cocky all day".

 

[zamboni]

Reverend Lovejoy: Homer, I'd like you to remember Matthew 7:26. "The foolish man who built his house upon the sand."

Homer: [pointing a finger] And you remember

[thinks]

Homer: Matthew... 21:17.

Reverend Lovejoy: [confused] "And he left them and went out of the city, into Bethany, and he lodged there?"

Homer: Yeah. Think about it.

Sounds like the precursor hymn to I. Ron Butterfly

 

[lakerstan]

Matthew 5:38-40

Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth:

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.

 

[Jayrok]

Deut. 23:1

No man whose testic### have been crushed or whose organ has been cut off may become a member of the Assembly of God.

Ezekiel 44:9 -- This is what the Sovereign Lord says: No foreigner uncircumcised in heart and flesh is to enter my sanctuary..

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Armaments 2:9-21

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.

 

[bucs4life_99]

Ending of the book of Ecclesiastes:

13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.

 

[matuski]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

This is a thread for posting favorite bible verses. The ones centered around fornicating, drunkards, and seed spilling are my favorites because that is what my life is all about basically.

Also, maybe some folks favorite bible verses are the ones that make the bible look the most ridiculous? Seems to be on topic.

How can people be upset about verses from the Bible in a thread about verses from the Bible?

 

[proninja]

As someone who gets a bit flippant with his words, I should read James 3 just about every day

 

[TheIronSheik]

As someone who gets a bit flippant with his words, I should read James 3 just about every day

That was a pretty cool read. I like that one.

 

[Rick James]

As someone who gets a bit flippant with his words, I should read James 3 just about every day

thanks for that.

 

[jon_mx]

honestly for people mocking it would have been better to just start a new thread of most ridiculous bible verses

why not let the people who want to talk about the bible do it in peace?

it is like the droid people in the apple thread...just let this be what it was supposed to be and create a new thread for what you want to do

This is a thread for posting favorite bible verses. The ones centered around fornicating, drunkards, and seed spilling are my favorites because that is what my life is all about basically.

Also, maybe some folks favorite bible verses are the ones that make the bible look the most ridiculous? Seems to be on topic.

How can people be upset about verses from the Bible in a thread about verses from the Bible?

If you are going to be a deebag, just man up and admit it. Don't feign ignorance. JM 3:15

 

[Good Posting Judge]

15:4 For God commanded, saying, Honour thy father and mother: and, He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.

10:37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Seems a bit harsh?

 

[butcher boy]

Some of you guys are no fun.

 

[mquinnjr]

John 8:7 -- ....He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone...

And I shall smoketh it.

 

[Todd Andrews]

As someone who gets a bit flippant with his words, I should read James 3 just about every day

That was a pretty cool read. I like that one.

James is the best: acts not faith.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

As someone who gets a bit flippant with his words, I should read James 3 just about every day

"For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind,"