FBGs with kids (especially daughters) -- Highly recommend watching this (1 Viewer)

[Bull Dozier]

Basically yes.  We have access to all email accounts, devices etc.  They don't have Facebook accounts or Twitter.  We've confiscated phones as punishment and taken the chance to monitor incoming messages before friends could be warned.  when one of my daughters was on a group chat from school and the boys on there started veering into inappropriate language I  chatted back something like hey guys this the father here,  let's be gentlemen and not cuss in front of the ladies.  My biggest concern is on line predators who are older and the total immersion that can happen.   

I have a 16 year old daughter that more than likely has seen the infamous **** pic.  I  don't think I could completely stop this from happening without taking the phone away completely.   But it's like this I trust her with a car she could kill herself or others with,  she baby sits young children, and she is making adult choices for her future.  Her seeing some high schoolers penis once in awhile isn't going to run her off the rails.

Not challenging your decisions, just curious why you do not allow facebook or twitter, but snapchat is ok?  From my experience, snapchat is the most dangerous and least monitorable.

 

[ConnSKINS26]

I hate reading my sons texts. Teenagers are the most awkward, cringy thing imaginable.  My wife and I constantly mock him behind his back. He’s a great kid irl but my god, what a hopeless basket case when he’s texting with a girl ...

Nobody has an issue with this? I hope this kid is at least a young teenager, in which case I get it. 16+ and it starts to get weird

 

[Bull Dozier]

Nobody has an issue with this? I hope this kid is at least a young teenager, in which case I get it. 16+ and it starts to get weird

Which part?  The mocking, or the reading of texts?

 

[beer 30]

black dot. 

Your time for action like this has passed. You know what you need to do, you just refuse to do it. 20 years isn't that long in the grand scheme of things and prison food is pretty good these days.

 

[ConnSKINS26]

Which part?  The mocking, or the reading of texts?

Again, I guess it depends how old your teen is. If he's 16+ and you're reading his texts with girls...idk, there's something skeevy about that. I get that you're a parent first, but around that age there should be an expectation of a certain level of privacy in that regard

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Again, I guess it depends how old your teen is. If he's 16+ and you're reading his texts with girls...idk, there's something skeevy about that. I get that you're a parent first, but around that age there should be an expectation of a certain level of privacy in that regard

The first condition of my son having a phone is that we have 100% access to everything he is doing on the phone.  That means of course we have all his passwords, and he is not to delete anything.  As far as I know, every one of his friends parents have the same rule.  I pull it out and read through his texts about once a month.  He's 14, had a phone a few months (he got it at 13, but was only using it for youtube and clash of clans, so we took it away for 6 months and just gave it back to him at Christmas.)

 

[ConnSKINS26]

The first condition of my son having a phone is that we have 100% access to everything he is doing on the phone.  That means of course we have all his passwords, and he is not to delete anything.  As far as I know, every one of his friends parents have the same rule.  I pull it out and read through his texts about once a month.  He's 14, had a phone a few months (he got it at 13, but was only using it for youtube and clash of clans, so we took it away for 6 months and just gave it back to him at Christmas.)

That's understandable at that age. I was mostly referring to an older teenager's texts specifically--if a kid is old enough to have a job and date, there's an expected level of privacy with texts and such imo, unless there's red flags or cause for concern. I'm not necessarily extending that to social media. 

Social media restrictions make sense any time before college at the parents' discretion imo, though I agree with the people in the thread who have said that despite all the negatives, the younger generations are expected to have a certain fluency in social media and networking and the positives that go with it when they hit college and then the workforce. So I'd caution against a total ban, that's surrendering your (general your, just using your post as a jumping off point) parental duty to prepare your kid for the world, because social media and the Internet is a big part of our modern world for better or worse. Leaving it up to them to fall face first into it in college when they have the freedom to do whatever seems like a big mistake. Imo it's like not talking to your kids about sex or relationships because you want them to practice abstinence. That doesn't work and it makes things worse. 

 

[Judge Smails]

Didn’t really see anything shocking or revelational in that video. If you don’t know these things (and a lot more) you aren’t paying attention. 

Self esteem, self worth, the power to say no, lead vs follow, anti lemming mentality. So much to teach to help them get on the other side relatively unscathed 

 

[Clown Car]

I'm glad you saw a airbrushed bush in playboy when you were 12 and turned out fine. My daughter saw some kids real junk, got suspended and potentially could have be punished for having child pornography. 

We have talks with our kids about sex, drugs, suicide, murder, death and the like. with cell phones your kids potentially have access to not only everything the internet has to offer, but contact with other kids who don't' have responsible parents that have those conversations. These kids are just a snapchat or text away from communicating and influencing other children. 

If it were up to me the kids wouldn't have phones at all. The only thing they should be concerned with is getting a good education, playing sports/activities and having fun. I know everybody has one but great, I dont want my kids to be just like everyone else. Unfortunately my wife and I don't see eye to eye on this and thats an entirely different subject and one I work on daily. Luckily she finally agreed with me after this incident. 

Were you able to follow up with the kid who sent it? A sit down with his parents explaining that you could go to the police and cause a lot of trouble for them is what I would do. 

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Were you able to follow up with the kid who sent it? A sit down with his parents explaining that you could go to the police and cause a lot of trouble for them is what I would do. 

I wanted to go this route but the wife was concerned that we didn’t know with 100% certainty that he didn’t have pictures that our daughter may have sent him. We obviously asked and we honestly don’t think she sent him any pictures but given her recent decision making, who knows. 

I agree with your concerns and line of thinking. Hell, I’ll take it a step further-  Not only he could potentially be charged, but our daughter and even maybe us since we pay for the phones?   

This is exibit 1A on why CHILDREN should not have phones. 

 

[irish eyes]

I wanted to go this route but the wife was concerned that we didn’t know with 100% certainty that he didn’t have pictures that our daughter may have sent him. We obviously asked and we honestly don’t think she sent him any pictures but given her recent decision making, who knows. 

I agree with your concerns and line of thinking. Hell, I’ll take it a step further-  Not only he could potentially be charged, but our daughter and even maybe us since we pay for the phones?   

This is exibit 1A on why CHILDREN should not have phones. 

If it was me in your situation,  she wouldn't have a phone again until she moved out on her own. 

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

If it was me in your situation,  she wouldn't have a phone again until she moved out on her own. 

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

Not challenging your decisions, just curious why you do not allow facebook or twitter, but snapchat is ok?  From my experience, snapchat is the most dangerous and least monitorable.

 Snapchat doesn't have all the adult bs of Facebook and Twitter and I'm mostly thinking of all the political stuff, nonsensical celebrity worship, family members complaining about their gout.  it  would be a further excuse for a time sink.  

 

[Bull Dozier]

 Snapchat doesn't have all the adult bs of Facebook and Twitter and I'm mostly thinking of all the political stuff, nonsensical celebrity worship, family members complaining about their gout.  it  would be a further excuse for a time sink.  

OK, I can see that.  I was thinking the biggest threat to teens on social media are the bullying and noods, both of which are rampant and relatively unmonitorable on snapchat.  But they all have their evils.

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

OK, I can see that.  I was thinking the biggest threat to teens on social media are the bullying and noods, both of which are rampant and relatively unmonitorable on snapchat.  But they all have their evils.

I can't deny you are right. if I had different kids things would probably be different.   if they had bad grades didn't want to do any thing  but the phone, seemed depressed or upset all the time.  But I want my kids to be responsible capable adults asap.  That means giving them some rights and responsibilities doled out more and more as they get older.  I trust but verify but also know they are going to be adults soon.  If they can hit the ground running at 18 I will be happy.