Fictitious Replies to Real Facebook Posts (1 Viewer)

[James Daulton]

Oh, you support Trump? Because he's going to deport all those illegals stealing our jobs? And your husband hasn't looked for work in ten years? And he "finally" got approved for Social Security "disability" payments for "depression"? But in reality he's just too lazy to work and couldn't even stand behind a cash register for 3 hours at a clip because he's 400 pounds because all he does is eat Tastycakes and watch Black Sabbath DVDs all day? ####. You. You #######. Parasite.

[I'll never be on FB btw, just responding to my wife's idiot sister who posts 100x/day.]

You are going to be really sorry when all of our FBGs secret identities are revealed one day.  Oh yes, you will be sorry.

 

[KiddLattimer]

It's understood, you like your dog and dogs in general.  No more dog pics or Memes are really necessary to prove this point.

Gladly take this over the #######s who post pictures of abused dogs trying to "help the cause"

 

[TheAristocrat]

You know the date you deleted it? Must be a story behind this.  

I basically was on for a year from roughly St. Patrick's Day to St Patrick's Day.

Sorry for the let down.

 

[dickey moe]

"Why can't I ever date anyone normal!!!!!!!" - Well if you were not a 35 year old virgin (Korean - 8 - 8.5) that loves bragging about how your boyfriends are not "getting any" until the fully commit, maybe you would have better luck.  Hope that twice a week prayer group is working out for you.  

Pics pleaze k thanx

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

You don't want to get into it, but prayers would be appreciated?  Here's a prayer for you:

#### you.  Amen.

 

[rockaction]

#### you and the 27 minion memes you post every day. 

Why is it that people that post minion memes post at least five of them per day? 

And why are none of them ever funny? 

 

[Shutout]

Never change, JB.

I must be dumb. I don't know what is going on here.

 

[Shutout]

After reading this thread I am SO glad I've never had Facebook.   

 

[Brony]

You were really hot in high school, but now not so much. Still, wanna bang?  (Sorry bout your dead brother b t dubs)

 

[Jayrod]

You don't want to get into it, but prayers would be appreciated?  Here's a prayer for you:

#### you.  Amen.

Seems reasonable.

 

[Major]

Attention friends and followers. I just ate a burger.  It was good.  Here's a picture of it. Look!

 

[ChiefD]

Oh man, I'm so sorry your lost your job again. I'm sure it had nothing to do with you bad mouthing your job and boss on Facebook for the last 3 months.

 

[Hov34]

What do the minions even have to do with this ####ty meme???

 

[rockaction]

What do the minions even have to do with this ####ty meme???

  

Always and forever.  One for Eeph and Sistah's. 

 

[TheMagus]

You didn't get an angry PM from one of your friends calling you a racist because they have thin skin and have been brainwashed by the liberal PC police. You got that message because you are a racist. HTH

 

[Gustavo Fring]

I get that you like "duck-lips" and selfies, but you look like you are trapped behind a computer screen like a goldfish trying to escape a fish tank.  

 

[Bogart]

Them: "I'm surprised you didn't respond to my post."

Me: "Yeah, I haven't really been on Facebook lately"

Translation that we both know: "I unfollowed you a long time ago. Now I have to actually search for your post, and then not respond to it." 

 

[Captain Cranks]

I'm really surprised to see you've checked into Cracker Barrel.  You can't be a pound over 300.  

 

[Harry Manback]

Oh no, please. Tell me more about your problems via status updates. What's that? You're on the outs with your baby daddy again? Oh, what's that? You're badmouthing him again? Oh and now you're back together? Now you're on the outs again? Tell me more.

 

[Captain Cranks]

Oh no, please. Tell me more about your problems via status updates. What's that? You're on the outs with your baby daddy again? Oh, what's that? You're badmouthing him again? Oh and now you're back together? Now you're on the outs again? Tell me more.

My wife's step-sister announced that she "can't do this anymore" and changed her marriage status to "separated".  Within a day they had made amends and everything was good again.   

 

[Shutout]

Is this where I check in to "go fund you" and use my earned money to support your wannabe celebrity lifestyle, cause I'm REALLY interested in making sure you get that summer backpacing through Europe trip under your belt by the time you're 21.

LOOK! I rolled up every millennial bashing topic from the past three weeks in one post. 

NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!  (that's for Steve Tasker).

 

[psychobillies]

I appreciate you linking that video of "Touch of Grey" while you're in chill mode almost as much as I appreciate your link to "Enter Sandman" when you are fixing to go to the gym.  Speaking of gyms, thanks for that spread eagle yoga pic.  Can't get enough pics of practically naked dudes with a focus on the sweaty ball region.  Also can't wait to see what creative way you'll use kale to replenish tonight. 

 

[quartz]

Thanks for the breaking news that Davy Jones has died, even though he died several years ago.

 

[rockaction]

I appreciate you linking that video of "Touch of Grey" while you're in chill mode almost as much as I appreciate your link to "Enter Sandman" when you are fixing to go to the gym.  Speaking of gyms, thanks for that spread eagle yoga pic.  Can't get enough pics of practically naked dudes with a focus on the sweaty ball region.  Also can't wait to see what creative way you'll use kale to replenish tonight. 

I love this, especially considering I just posted a promo to American Beauty the other night on my Facebook feed. Thanks for the feedback. 

 

[rockaction]

Do you guys actually need to post fictitious replies, BTW? I sort of just let them fly on the ole book. 

 

[Parrothead]

Attention friends and followers. I just ate a burger.  It was good.  Here's a picture of it. Look!

UPDATE- Burger gave me the runs.. here is a picture of it..  Look- yucky 

 

[Harry Manback]

Please, by all means post sad and depressing stuff about how much you hate your life and life sucks and you're depressed and girls suck and you can't get a good girl. I can't imagine why woman wouldn't be attracted to a depressive, misogynistic, pathetic, self-loathing loser. 

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Seems reasonable.

Glad we're on the same page.

To be clear, I don't have a problem with people asking for prayers.  It's the vague, attention-seeking post that I have an issue with.

 

[McGarnicle]

Please, by all means post sad and depressing stuff about how much you hate your life and life sucks and you're depressed and girls suck and you can't get a good girl. I can't imagine why woman wouldn't be attracted to a depressive, misogynistic, pathetic, self-loathing loser. 

Your fault for friending Eminence imo.

 

[sdp1226]

Show your ####!! 

 

[ChiefD]

So awesome you are checking into the airport with the family and leaving on vacation for a week. Now I know your house is going to be empty and I can rob you blind.

 

[Captain Cranks]

To be clear, I don't have a problem with people asking for prayers. 

To be clear, I do.  

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

You are indeed lucky to have the best husband in the world.  Great family pics!  Zero chance he activated Private Browsing later that night.