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Blackmail - serious question (1 Viewer)

as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
 
mkripke said:
as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
Click to expand...
So you were straight up sexting with this person going back and forth for a bit. Lol at your original statement that they just got your phone number and poof….D pics. I’m guessing there was some video screen recording too of you whacking it, you’re just not admitting that yet.
 
offdee said:
mkripke said:
as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
Click to expand...
So you were straight up sexting with this person going back and forth for a bit. Lol at your original statement that they just got your phone number and poof….D pics. I’m guessing there was some video screen recording too, you’re just not admitting that yet.
Click to expand...

I don’t think he ever said he didn’t do that - just didn’t directly admit to it. I think he doesn’t know how (if they did) get the contact list.
 
offdee said:
mkripke said:
as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
Click to expand...
So you were straight up sexting with this person going back and forth for a bit. Lol at your original statement that they just got your phone number and poof….D pics. I’m guessing there was some video screen recording too of you whacking it, you’re just not admitting that yet.
Click to expand...
He was trialing his alibi on us to see if it would fly with the wife lol.
 
Advanced hackers/scammers can get your personal social media (Facebook, etc.) without needing your phone number, from messaging apps. So while giving his digits wasn't exactly smart, he could have been in deep doo-doo regardless.
 
nirad3 said:
Advanced hackers/scammers can get your personal social media (Facebook, etc.) without needing your phone number, from messaging apps. So while giving his digits wasn't exactly smart, he could have been in deep doo-doo regardless.
Click to expand...
They get you off the dating apps and start the scamming/threatening over text so you can’t report their dating profile and get it removed (preventing them from scamming others). Once they get that text from you they unmatch inside the dating app, so no longer a way to report them.

Can you tell I’m a dating app veteran and have seen it all? Lol
 
Last edited:
offdee said:
mkripke said:
as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
Click to expand...
So you were straight up sexting with this person going back and forth for a bit. Lol at your original statement that they just got your phone number and poof….D pics. I’m guessing there was some video screen recording too of you whacking it, you’re just not admitting that yet.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I got none of that from the original post.
I first though this was similar to those random emails saying "we have video of you doing embarrassing stuff to yourself" ... and the OP overreacting. But this is much more than that.
Bottom line is that the blackmailers want money. They gain nothing by just embarrassing someone ... and the blackmailers take a chance of embarrassing the wrong person and getting hunted down and fitted with a new pair of cement shoes to go swimming.
I'd ignore and take my chances.
 
fruity pebbles said:
This happened to a friend’s 16 yo son. Same exact thing. He was working overtime sending them gift cards.
Click to expand...
Same, but 13yo boy.

Used his SM to figure out his friends and life, reached out pretending to be a kid from another school mentioning the friends and places he hangs they'd scooped from his SM.

Texting turned into sexting turned into nude pics turned into repeated blackmail of him sending gift card numbers. Ended up being around 5k worth of these.
 
offdee said:
So basically you were on a dating site, gave her your cell number, she sent you racy pics/vids, then she asked you to send her some too and you complied. Or even better she called you and made up some excuse of a bad connection but somehow got you to do some nasty stuff anyways and screen recorded you. Then bam, she flips a switch and goes into blackmail mode and proves to you she has those vids/pics and how she’s in your Facebook with all your contacts.

Yeah, it’s a known scam. Just ignore it and they’ll eventually go away and onto the next victim. If you send them anything they’ll just continue asking for more.

Moving forward keep your D in your pants on pics and video.
Click to expand...
this
 
Might want to go full Leslie Neilson on them...
"I have a very particular set of skills, Skills That I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like You.."
 
offdee said:
nirad3 said:
Advanced hackers/scammers can get your personal social media (Facebook, etc.) without needing your phone number, from messaging apps. So while giving his digits wasn't exactly smart, he could have been in deep doo-doo regardless.
Click to expand...
They get you off the dating apps and start the scamming/threatening over text so you can’t report their dating profile and get it removed (preventing them from scamming others). Once they get that text from you they unmatch inside the dating app, so no longer a way to report them.

Can you tell I’m a dating app veteran and have seen it all? Lol
Click to expand...
I haven't been to the other board in awhile (just can't keep up with two!). Hopefully that and Vegas is going well for you.
 
Oracle said:
Zow said:
offdee said:
very very unlikely they send anything to your contacts. There really is no upside to that for them other than a slightly better chance of getting caught and their operation ending.

Once they send stuff they no longer have any leverage to blackmail you. They don’t know you or care about you..you’re just a potential mark.

It’s scary but it will just go away if you ignore it. You’ll be fine.
Click to expand...
Agree.

I think the main issue he should be considering is whether to preemptively tell his wife (or, and I'm not condoning this, concoct some story to get ahead of this).
Click to expand...
If the situation you are in will be a problem with your s/o, do not concoct a story. Wives will investigate/continue to question you on every detail. If something is off in your answers to her, you will only have gotten yourself into a worse situation.
Click to expand...
I want to be clear with everybody that I would never condone or suggest significantly lying* to, misleading, or even cheating on one's wife. Putting the morality of it aside entirely (which should be a major factor for any husband and if it's not you have major problems already), it still isn't worth it because there's a strong chance you wind up paying somebody like me thousands of dollars to maybe get you close to 1/2 your stuff and 1/2 the time with your kids. If you want to bang other women just divorce your wife already or work something out with her.

The above notwithstanding, my goal in my quoted post above was to get the OP to stop worrying so much about the scammers and, instead, focus on worrying about how to address this with his wife.

*I'm not referring to the little lies like "no, that dress doesn't look bad on you" or "wow, that [dinner] was good!" that many of us probably regularly say.
 
Im finally caught up

Block the number. Stop interacting with them, it just shows them you are afraid.

I know nothing about your relationship with your wife, but if you want to stay married long term I would have an honest convo with her. Explain why you do the things you do. Be vulnerable and start working on your relationship with the extra time you now have since you wont be perusing dating sites.

Or, if you dont care about your marriage, accelerate the process and start :ptts:💴
 
Has the deadline passed? Is the OP ok?

IMO, the biggest thing to hopefully come out of this is- the OP trying to figure out why he's looking outside the marriage for this kind of activity.

Gl!
 
seems pointless to pay because 1) you have no way to enforce them not leaking the pics anyway and 2) there's really no upside in actually leaking them all because the only thing of value that they have is your fear. Maybe they would send 1 out, which could probably be explained away easily enough, but even if they did, go back to point 1.
 
El Floppo said:
Has the deadline passed? Is the OP ok?

IMO, the biggest thing to hopefully come out of this is- the OP trying to figure out why he's looking outside the marriage for this kind of activity.

Gl!
Click to expand...
ah, ... cus he's a dude?
I think nature has guys always wanting to repopulate the planet ... one baby mama at a time.
... and I'd bet that more often than not, wives don't always facilitate 100% of the husbands desires.
It does take a little self control not to stray. Even if most guys don't act on it, it's always on their mind.
The OP did take it too far tho, obviously.
 
offdee said:
nirad3 said:
Advanced hackers/scammers can get your personal social media (Facebook, etc.) without needing your phone number, from messaging apps. So while giving his digits wasn't exactly smart, he could have been in deep doo-doo regardless.
Click to expand...
They get you off the dating apps and start the scamming/threatening over text so you can’t report their dating profile and get it removed (preventing them from scamming others). Once they get that text from you they unmatch inside the dating app, so no longer a way to report them.

Can you tell I’m a dating app veteran and have seen it all? Lol
Click to expand...
Do you typically get hot noods when the scammers initiate the conversation?

I may need to make a profile.
 
Grahamburn said:
Do you typically get hot noods when the scammers initiate the conversation?

I may need to make a profile.
Click to expand...
No. Most dating apps don’t even allow you to send pics. I think Bumble is the only one out of the 3 popular apps (Hinge, Bumble and Tinder)

Hinge is the only one I like. Bumble sucks and Tinder is 90% fake profiles and scammers.

If they are sending you nudes or anything overly provocative from the jump, they are 99% of the time scammers

If they try to get you over to WhatsApp, it’s an instant delete. Crypto scammers for sure.

99% of the time if it’s a hot Asian girl profile, don’t even bother. Left swipe and move on. Scammer.
 
fruity pebbles said:
offdee said:
mkripke said:
as i think back on the whole thing, they ask for a body pic, then a face pic (i never do but they sent one first)
i was an idiot and i am learning a valuable lesson
Click to expand...
So you were straight up sexting with this person going back and forth for a bit. Lol at your original statement that they just got your phone number and poof….D pics. I’m guessing there was some video screen recording too of you whacking it, you’re just not admitting that yet.
Click to expand...
He was trialing his alibi on us to see if it would fly with the wife lol.
Click to expand...
that alibi turkey doesn't fly
 
mr. furley said:
how many times has this happened to you @offdee ?
Click to expand...
It’s actually happened to me once when I first became single again about 4 yrs ago and was new to the dating apps (and overly horny and naive).

But I didn’t get to the point of allowing them to screen record me or get any pics of my face. (They tried and were persistent) They still desperately tried to scare me with a couple pics but I was like, go ahead you can’t prove that’s me.

Even with that I was rattled in the moment like OP. They sent all kinds of proof that they knew my Facebook and could easily message all my Facebook friends. I just blocked and ignored and nothing happened. But still a good lesson to protect myself more moving forward.
 
offdee said:
Grahamburn said:
Do you typically get hot noods when the scammers initiate the conversation?

I may need to make a profile.
Click to expand...
No. Most dating apps don’t even allow you to send pics. I think Bumble is the only one out of the 3 popular apps (Hinge, Bumble and Tinder)

Hinge is the only one I like. Bumble sucks and Tinder is 90% fake profiles and scammers.

If they are sending you nudes or anything overly provocative from the jump, they are 99% of the time scammers

If they try to get you over to WhatsApp, it’s an instant delete. Crypto scammers for sure.

99% of the time if it’s a hot Asian girl profile, don’t even bother. Left swipe and move on. Scammer.
Click to expand...
That’s what I mean. I don’t care if it’s a scam. I’m not sending them anything. At least not of me. Sounds like a party.
 
Grahamburn said:
offdee said:
Grahamburn said:
Do you typically get hot noods when the scammers initiate the conversation?

I may need to make a profile.
Click to expand...
No. Most dating apps don’t even allow you to send pics. I think Bumble is the only one out of the 3 popular apps (Hinge, Bumble and Tinder)

Hinge is the only one I like. Bumble sucks and Tinder is 90% fake profiles and scammers.

If they are sending you nudes or anything overly provocative from the jump, they are 99% of the time scammers

If they try to get you over to WhatsApp, it’s an instant delete. Crypto scammers for sure.

99% of the time if it’s a hot Asian girl profile, don’t even bother. Left swipe and move on. Scammer.
Click to expand...
That’s what I mean. I don’t care if it’s a scam. I’m not sending them anything. At least not of me. Sounds like a party.
Click to expand...
Yeah it’s just never a good idea. Period. Here’s a personal story:

During our time dating, RacistEx would send my nudes/fun short videos when I’d be at work and she’d be home bored or whatever. I never shared them (eh, except maybe showed a close buddy/colleague in live time but I never electronically shared them) and respected her privacy. Shortly after we broke up, and at a point where I didn’t see a need to delete them (i.e. I didn’t have another girlfriend yet), my phone got stolen when I was on the court playing a pickup basketball game. The phone got bricked pretty shortly thereafter, and I warned RacistEx immediately, but she did find them posted on some amateur sites later. She wasn’t happy but fortunately she didn’t blame me as I had told her about what happened immediately.

Just goes to show that even in the most private, appropriate situation with a trustworthy recipient they aren’t the best idea and I’m going to be advising my kids when they’re older to never send for any reason.
 
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