With such a large and complex order, I figured the best strategy to achieve my goals without getting kicked out of the restaurant would be to order in waves, always including one simple, anchor sandwich (say, a regular Double Double) along with a few of my "special" requests. My first interaction with the bright-eyed, young cashier named Thomas went easily enough.
"Welcome to In-N-Out."
"Hi—I want to make a kinda weird order, ok?"
"Of course!" he said, almost a little too brightly. I must remember to shed my mistrusting New Yorker attitude.
"Ok. I'd like one regular cheeseburger, with everything on it. Then I'd like one regular cheeseburger with chopped chilis.* Oh, and could I also have a bag of chilis on the side?** After that, I'll need a cheeseburger with everything, split in half,*** along with an order of fries, well done,**** if you can do that."
"Sure we can! Anything else?" He's totally unfazed.
"Uh yeah, I'll take a root beer float***** as well, and... that's it for now."
"No problem. You'll be order number 4 today."
* That's super-hot pickled sport peppers chopped and pressed into the bottom of the burger.
** A small bag with two whole sport peppers.
*** Any burger will be cut neatly in half upon request.
**** Fries cooked extra long.
***** Root beer with vanilla ice cream
Our order arrived a few minutes later, produced exactly as requested. Shocking! At my local McDonald's, the cashier has trouble even getting a single cheeseburger right, never mind special requests!