After enduring a professional football career marred by injury, inconsistency and underachievement, castoff NFL quarterback Tim Couch has been given one more chance to succeed-at Cleveland-based car dealership Ganley Chevrolet.“Pardon the pun, but Timmy still has plenty of gas left in the tank,” said Couch’s agent Tim Condon, with an air of uncertainty in his voice.Couch, selected by the reborn Cleveland Browns as the number one overall pick in the 1999 NFL draft, was cut by the team in 2004 after five years of unsatisfactory results.Since his dismissal, Couch has worked out with a handful of other football teams: the NFL’s Green Bay Packers and Cincinnati Bengals, Division III college powerhouse Cortland State Red Dragons, and the Ohio high school Cleveland Heights Tigers.All teams politely passed on the shunned quarterback.Condon landed the Ganley gig for Couch by responding to a help wanted advertisement in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. Though Couch lacks any formal sales experience, Ganley admits that any unconscionable person who can crack a smile has a chance to succeed. At the Ganley press conference announcing the terms of his one-week trial, Couch expressed his excitement at the prospect of another opportunity, “It feels great to be back in Cleveland. I feel like I’ve come full circle.” He ended with rhetoric all too familiar to Cleveland Browns fans, “Now I’m just gonna go out there and work hard and try to get better with each day.”During the short trial period as a car salesman Couch has exhibited the same poor judgment that plagued him as an NFL quarterback.On one occasion, Couch dissuaded a customer from buying a car that was well within their means. He then referred the customer to the Honda dealership down the street, because as he explained, “Japanese cars are just better crafted and last longer than this American schlock.”After watching Couch turn away the potential sale, a fellow employee was overheard with the play-by-play, “Tim Couch making a crucial turnover? That’s just Tim Couch doing what Tim Couch does best. Old habits die hard.”Owner Rick Ganley is hoping to chalk up the fumbled sale as a rookie mistake.Unfortunately, Couch continued to display the same lack of mental toughness that caused him to make an obscene gesture at Browns fans who cheered his injury during a game.When a customer backed out of a deal after hours of price negotiating, Couch proceeded to “flip him the bird” and chase him out of the parking lot. Ganley admits that Couch’s blunders are tolerable only because of a sharp rise in customer traffic on the lot. “People have been showing up on Sundays to heckle Tim and wait for his inevitable meltdown. As an avid Browns fan I can’t blame them.”On a positive note, Couch closed his first sale- a 2006 Chevy Corvette-to current Browns QB and future Ganley teammate Charlie Frye.
