Captain Cranks
Footballguy
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Give me your best lawyer joke. (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Captain Cranks
- Start date
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
A guy walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Sure do,” replied the bartender. “Good,” said the man. “Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my gator.”
Captain Cranks
Footballguy
A secretary, a paralegal and a lawyer in a law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke.
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the paralegal. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.”
Poof! she’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the lawyer.
“I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.”
Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the paralegal. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of pina coladas and the love of my life.”
Poof! she’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the lawyer.
“I want those two back in the office after lunch.”
Andy Dufresne
Footballguy
How many lawyers does it take to fill in a hole?
I don't know the exact number but, just to be sure, you should put them all in.
I don't know the exact number but, just to be sure, you should put them all in.
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
A lawyer, a salesman, and a banker were gathered by a coffin containing the body of an old friend. In his grief, the banker said “In my family we have a custom of giving the dead some money, so they’ll have something to spend over there.” They all agreed that this was appropriate, so the banker dropped a $100 dollar bill into the casket and the salesman did the same. The lawyer took out the 2 bills and dropped in a check for $300.
