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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (7 Viewers)

krista4 said:
Someone tagged me today in yet another picture from my cheerleading/pom-pom squad days, which is bad enough :bag:  but it's because there is an upcoming reunion of the squads throughout the years.  Some sort of dinner followed by a performance by the current squad, for which various people have sent me invites over the past couple of months.  Who does this?  And what have I done to give the impression that I would give a flying #### about going to it?

(Apologies to the new guy; there's rarely any cheerleading talk in here but you chose the wrong day to join.)

(Typing that made me miss Saints Man (Ralph).)
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Link plz

 
Frostillicus said:
Did you get your money back?
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Challenged the charge and they took it off. 

Original story:

So I go online today to pay my credit card bills and my Mastercard is really high and I had not used it much lately.

but let me go back a little ways, first.

Last weekend, I had to miss my GBGM's wedding. I just had too much going on to take off 3-4 days to go to Detroit.

Thursday night his soon-to-be BIL was throwing a bachelor party / poker game in his honor and I decided it would be good schtick to have some strippers deliver an ice cream cake to the event and dance to some Neil Young songs.

So after calling around the greater Detroit area, I finally found a stripp-o-gram operation that promised to pick up an ice cream cake, take it to the poker game, and serve it to the guests while singing Heart of Gold and Southern Man in the nude. The only catch was that I had to find and pay for an ice cream cake. I tell them to give me an hour and I'll call them back.

Eva's ice Cream in Lake Orion seemed like the best choice after some Google searching, so I call them up. but they sell ice cream. And they sell cakes. but they do not sell ice cream cakes. I spend 15 minutes with the owner trying to get her to concoct the unimaginable recipe of smearing a couple of quarts of ice cream on top of one cake and then putting another cake on top of that. I offered her $100 to perform this complicated task and I think I just about had her talked into it, until I told her it needed to be done ASAP before the strippers showed up. She hung up on me and no one there would answer the phone when I repeatedly tried to call back.

I tried a few other places with no luck, but finally the Lake Orion DQ told me that they had ice cream cakes ready to go, but they closed in 15 minutes. He even agreed to a credit card payment - if I threw in an extra twenty bucks for the trouble.

I called back the strippers, but they said there was no way they could get to Lake Orion before the DQ closed. So I told them to blow it off. That without an ice cream cake it would just be inferior schtick.

Evidently the strippers had caller ID, because they called me back twenty minutes later and told me the Kroger sold Ice cream cakes. So I call the Lake Orion Kroger to see if I could charge one of their delicious cakes on my Mastercard for my hired performers ( I had learned that the sensibilities of Western Detroit merchants were offended when it came to holding cakes for strippers).

My new-found decorum was lost on the Kroger manager, as he would not let me pay for a cake over the phone no matter who was picking it up.

So I called back the strippers and told them it was still a no go because the Kroger wouldn't take a credit card over the phone.

So they told me that if I would pay them $375 ($100 over the previously negotiated price) that they would pay for the cake themselves.

Ok I said, relenting to their unrealistic demands due to my BAC and determination to see this task through.

But that wasn't enough. Evidently the Detroit-based strippers were too inept to get to Lake Orion, unless I was willing to stay on the cell phone while they navigated to the privileged western regions of the county while read turn-by turn directions from Google maps.

To help pass the time while they drove, I worked with them on the lyrics to Heart of Gold and Southern Man. Turns out they really did not know either song and were doing a woeful job of memorizing the words while I played an MP3 in the background during our phone conversation.

My patience is running thin because they only remember half of the chorus to Southern Man and hardly any of Heart of GOld. But they finally make it to the Lake Orion Kroger.

Once there they cannot find any ice cream cakes.

They find ice cream and they find cakes. But no ice cream cakes.

I figured if na Ice Cream shop owner (like Eva from Eva's ice Cream) in Michigan cannot figure out how to transform two cakes and half a gallon ice cream into a delicious ice cream cake - there's no way it worth even attempting to do it over a cell phone with two strippers from Detroit.

At this point I've spent over three hours trying to get this done and I am ready to give up. I told them it had to be ice cream cake or the deal was off. They insisted that cake and ice cream was a suitable substitute and I was still obligated to go thru with the deal.

Sorry, strippers, but that was not the agreement.

Several minutes and hundreds of profanities later I turned off my cell and ended the once- flourishing relationship.

About that time Charvik calls me on my home phone. I had left him a message several hours earlier to try and help me coordinate the stripper and ice cream cake fiasco. I briefly attempted to enlist his support in obtaining an ice cream cake, but I don't know if you have ever tried communicating with a drunken Norwegian who is barely understandable when sober, but its not pretty. Or productive. He finally hands off the phone to Forrest.

I still ahve glimmers of hope that I may somehow pull this off as a surprise, so I have to chat with Forrest and pretend that I am just calling to wish him luck yada yada yada. I finally get his drunk ### off the phone and he gives the receiver to JTC, who is also in town for the festivities. His complete drunkenness makes him even more indecipherable than the drunken Norwegian who first called me.

By this time its almost midnight and I decide to give up. I had given it my best shot and failed.

Now I see the strippers charged me $375 with a $500 tip for their troubles. That seems excessive since they never delivered cake, took off their clothes or learned any of the Neil young lyrics. I think I may file a dispute over the charges.
 
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DA RAIDERS said:
Link plz
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Is it really not showing up?  It's not just a GM picnic?  On my thingie it says that it is "allowed on my timeline" and it's the first thing on my page.  Apparently I understand Facebook as well as GM understands Netflix.  You're really not missing much.  

 
krista4 said:
Is it really not showing up?  It's not just a GM picnic?  On my thingie it says that it is "allowed on my timeline" and it's the first thing on my page.  Apparently I understand Facebook as well as GM understands Netflix.  You're really not missing much.  
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The fifth grade class photo is awesome.  

 
So I made a batch of JUDGE SNAILS LEGENDARY CHILI on Saturday night.  I've made it a handful of times and have it down pretty well with my own twists and turns.  However, I've never made a batch after midnight following an evening celebrating my birthday with friends and family whereupon we consumed copious amounts of wine, beer and a 1973 French Armagnac (sp?).  What could possibly go wrong?

Well, it's lunch time and I'm eating a delicious bowl of chili and I'm noticing a strange papery substance that is getting a firm workout by my molars.  I figure it's just some of the rehydrated peppers and try to muscle through it, but it's not giving.  I finally pull out the culprit and it's here that I've realized the following:  You know how ground sausage has a layer of paper underneath it between the sausage and the bottom of the package?  Yeah, guess who didn't remember that Saturday after midnight after much boozing?  

 
krista4 said:
Is it really not showing up?  It's not just a GM picnic?  On my thingie it says that it is "allowed on my timeline" and it's the first thing on my page.  Apparently I understand Facebook as well as GM understands Netflix.  You're really not missing much.  
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found it, but i had to totally perv out and search through your photos.  your timeline only has awesome hiking pictures on it.

 
I don't know if you guys like Bloom County, but Berkeley Breathed is selling all his election-themed Bloom County clothing at a huge discount today.

 
Whenever I change my pants the dog thinks it means I'm taking her on a walk or to play out in the yard. Doesn't matter if I'm changing from jeans to pajama pants or from dress pants to jeans or any specific style. It also doesn't happen when I'm changing shirts or putting on/taking off my coat. 

 
Henry Ford said:
I don't know if you guys like Bloom County, but Berkeley Breathed is selling all his election-themed Bloom County clothing at a huge discount today.
Click to expand...
Went to school with him, good guy. Had a pet alligator, which he may or may not have released into the lake in the middle of town. :oldunsure:  

 
cosjobs said:
Challenged the charge and they took it off. 

Original story:

So I go online today to pay my credit card bills and my Mastercard is really high and I had not used it much lately.

but let me go back a little ways, first.

Last weekend, I had to miss my GBGM's wedding. I just had too much going on to take off 3-4 days to go to Detroit.

Thursday night his soon-to-be BIL was throwing a bachelor party / poker game in his honor and I decided it would be good schtick to have some strippers deliver an ice cream cake to the event and dance to some Neil Young songs.

So after calling around the greater Detroit area, I finally found a stripp-o-gram operation that promised to pick up an ice cream cake, take it to the poker game, and serve it to the guests while singing Heart of Gold and Southern Man in the nude. The only catch was that I had to find and pay for an ice cream cake. I tell them to give me an hour and I'll call them back.

Eva's ice Cream in Lake Orion seemed like the best choice after some Google searching, so I call them up. but they sell ice cream. And they sell cakes. but they do not sell ice cream cakes. I spend 15 minutes with the owner trying to get her to concoct the unimaginable recipe of smearing a couple of quarts of ice cream on top of one cake and then putting another cake on top of that. I offered her $100 to perform this complicated task and I think I just about had her talked into it, until I told her it needed to be done ASAP before the strippers showed up. She hung up on me and no one there would answer the phone when I repeatedly tried to call back.

I tried a few other places with no luck, but finally the Lake Orion DQ told me that they had ice cream cakes ready to go, but they closed in 15 minutes. He even agreed to a credit card payment - if I threw in an extra twenty bucks for the trouble.

I called back the strippers, but they said there was no way they could get to Lake Orion before the DQ closed. So I told them to blow it off. That without an ice cream cake it would just be inferior schtick.

Evidently the strippers had caller ID, because they called me back twenty minutes later and told me the Kroger sold Ice cream cakes. So I call the Lake Orion Kroger to see if I could charge one of their delicious cakes on my Mastercard for my hired performers ( I had learned that the sensibilities of Western Detroit merchants were offended when it came to holding cakes for strippers).

My new-found decorum was lost on the Kroger manager, as he would not let me pay for a cake over the phone no matter who was picking it up.

So I called back the strippers and told them it was still a no go because the Kroger wouldn't take a credit card over the phone.

So they told me that if I would pay them $375 ($100 over the previously negotiated price) that they would pay for the cake themselves.

Ok I said, relenting to their unrealistic demands due to my BAC and determination to see this task through.

But that wasn't enough. Evidently the Detroit-based strippers were too inept to get to Lake Orion, unless I was willing to stay on the cell phone while they navigated to the privileged western regions of the county while read turn-by turn directions from Google maps.

To help pass the time while they drove, I worked with them on the lyrics to Heart of Gold and Southern Man. Turns out they really did not know either song and were doing a woeful job of memorizing the words while I played an MP3 in the background during our phone conversation.

My patience is running thin because they only remember half of the chorus to Southern Man and hardly any of Heart of GOld. But they finally make it to the Lake Orion Kroger.

Once there they cannot find any ice cream cakes.

They find ice cream and they find cakes. But no ice cream cakes.

I figured if na Ice Cream shop owner (like Eva from Eva's ice Cream) in Michigan cannot figure out how to transform two cakes and half a gallon ice cream into a delicious ice cream cake - there's no way it worth even attempting to do it over a cell phone with two strippers from Detroit.

At this point I've spent over three hours trying to get this done and I am ready to give up. I told them it had to be ice cream cake or the deal was off. They insisted that cake and ice cream was a suitable substitute and I was still obligated to go thru with the deal.

Sorry, strippers, but that was not the agreement.

Several minutes and hundreds of profanities later I turned off my cell and ended the once- flourishing relationship.

About that time Charvik calls me on my home phone. I had left him a message several hours earlier to try and help me coordinate the stripper and ice cream cake fiasco. I briefly attempted to enlist his support in obtaining an ice cream cake, but I don't know if you have ever tried communicating with a drunken Norwegian who is barely understandable when sober, but its not pretty. Or productive. He finally hands off the phone to Forrest.

I still ahve glimmers of hope that I may somehow pull this off as a surprise, so I have to chat with Forrest and pretend that I am just calling to wish him luck yada yada yada. I finally get his drunk ### off the phone and he gives the receiver to JTC, who is also in town for the festivities. His complete drunkenness makes him even more indecipherable than the drunken Norwegian who first called me.

By this time its almost midnight and I decide to give up. I had given it my best shot and failed.

Now I see the strippers charged me $375 with a $500 tip for their troubles. That seems excessive since they never delivered cake, took off their clothes or learned any of the Neil young lyrics. I think I may file a dispute over the charges.
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bravo

pin it

 
-fish- said:
I liked the original, but not Opus 2000 or whatever it was and not really the new iteration.

Steve Dallas is my role model as a lawyer.
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To be fair "The Academia Waltz" is actually the original.  But I dug it, Bloom County, Outland to a lesser extent, Opus was a little meh and I'm very glad to have Bloom County back.

(bonus link to Steve Dallas as a young man)

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Henry Ford said:
To be fair "The Academia Waltz" is actually the original.  But I dug it, Bloom County, Outland to a lesser extent, Opus was a little meh and I'm very glad to have Bloom County back.

(bonus link to Steve Dallas as a young man)
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A friend and I went to Berke for advice on getting our cartoon strip off the ground. Although, to be honest, the one about how baby oil was really made was never going to get published.

 
mr roboto said:
Whenever I change my pants the dog thinks it means I'm taking her on a walk or to play out in the yard. Doesn't matter if I'm changing from jeans to pajama pants or from dress pants to jeans or any specific style. It also doesn't happen when I'm changing shirts or putting on/taking off my coat. 
Click to expand...
Pajama pants?

 
proninja said:
There are people who don't immediately throw on a pair of these when they get home? Do they not know such pants exist?
Click to expand...
Yeah I just don't call them pajamas because I don't sleep in them and I'm not a toddler.

 
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