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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (17 Viewers)

Captain Quinoa said:
Co-worker just exclaimed that something is "a toboggle"

She meant "debacle"    :mellow:  
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lady next to me just said "benefrishuwary"

she always pronounces it that way

she mispronounces multi-syllable words constantly

 
mr. furley said:
Captain Quinoa said:
Co-worker just exclaimed that something is "a toboggle"

She meant "debacle"    :mellow:  
Click to expand...
lady next to me just said "benefrishuwary"

she always pronounces it that way

she mispronounces multi-syllable words constantly
Click to expand...
funny- CQ's post made me immediately think of your office.

anything new with our pal, HEY EVERYBODY GUY.

 
El Floppo said:
funny- CQ's post made me immediately think of your office.

anything new with our pal, HEY EVERYBODY GUY.
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yeah, so the lady who mispronounces everything was having trouble solving a problem that i'd just sorted out a few weeks back but for a different client

i was over at her cube explaining to her the correct answer and how i arrived at it. complete with notes and links to the information.

after i was done, had to run to the men's room. came back and IMAGINETHAT!!!! he's at her cube, telling her that he "figured out" her problem. he's been yelllaughing an attempt at the same explanation i just gave to her... except he doesn't quite have the right detail.... because he only overheard me giving her the answer 15 minutes ago and didn't actually figure it out on his own.

but, he fancies himself as the smartest guy here ... and thinks he's being groomed for the manager position.. so he likes to try and repackage other people's ideas/answers as his own and then take credit.

pretty much what you'd expect from a manager so he's probably right on the money about his future chances

 
mr. furley said:
yeah, so the lady who mispronounces everything was having trouble solving a problem that i'd just sorted out a few weeks back but for a different client

i was over at her cube explaining to her the correct answer and how i arrived at it. complete with notes and links to the information.

after i was done, had to run to the men's room. came back and IMAGINETHAT!!!! he's at her cube, telling her that he "figured out" her problem. he's been yelllaughing an attempt at the same explanation i just gave to her... except he doesn't quite have the right detail.... because he only overheard me giving her the answer 15 minutes ago and didn't actually figure it out on his own.

but, he fancies himself as the smartest guy here ... and thinks he's being groomed for the manager position.. so he likes to try and repackage other people's ideas/answers as his own and then take credit.

pretty much what you'd expect from a manager so he's probably right on the money about his future chances
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Still waiting on an actual visual for this dude.  You gotta make it happen.  Even if it's not a video.  Need to know if my mental construct is remotely close to the mark.

Also: Old Man Malaise is the name of my Rolling Stones Cover band.

 
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mr. furley said:
yeah, so the lady who mispronounces everything was having trouble solving a problem that i'd just sorted out a few weeks back but for a different client

i was over at her cube explaining to her the correct answer and how i arrived at it. complete with notes and links to the information.

after i was done, had to run to the men's room. came back and IMAGINETHAT!!!! he's at her cube, telling her that he "figured out" her problem. he's been yelllaughing an attempt at the same explanation i just gave to her... except he doesn't quite have the right detail.... because he only overheard me giving her the answer 15 minutes ago and didn't actually figure it out on his own.

but, he fancies himself as the smartest guy here ... and thinks he's being groomed for the manager position.. so he likes to try and repackage other people's ideas/answers as his own and then take credit.

pretty much what you'd expect from a manager so he's probably right on the money about his future chances
Click to expand...
Link

 
Let's argue about crackers (no white people cracker jokes plz):

 


  1. Wheat thins. To me, the ideal cracker is one that pairs well with lots of different ####, but ALSO tastes perfectly good on its own. That’s a Wheat Thin. There’s nothing BIG CRACKER loves more than to sell you on a cracker’s versatility, so that they take up a greater market share of your overall gluttony. “Stack ‘em! Dip ‘em! Spread ‘em! DRY HUMP ‘EM!” In the case of Wheat Thins, the ads are true. I can eat them with cheese, or I can forgo decorum and just dump a box directly into my feedhole.
  2. Goldfish. They’re lovely, but you can’t dip them in anything. If I ever see someone try to put a slice of pepperjack onto a single Goldfish, I will call the police.
  3. Graham. These masturbation antidotes probably belong at No. 1 on this #### if only for graham cracker crusts and S’mores. It’s also one of the only crackers that is somehow sweet but defies being labeled a cookie. I salute its refusal to abide by genre stereotypes. By the way, graham crackers are made with graham flour, which seems to have NO other use in the culinary world. I promise you that, somewhere, there is a fancy pants chef who is coating lamb chops with it. IT DRAWS OUT THE GAMEY FLAVORS.
  4. Everything flatbread. It’s a cracker with eight pounds of bagel seasoning on it. I approve.
  5. Triscuit. Lotta people don’t like Triscuits but I am abnormally drawn to shredded wheat products for reasons that escape me. It’s like Big League Chew, only WHEAT. I can’t resist. Your average Triscuit has 900,000 grams of partially hydrogenated soybean oil in it, and its flavor and texture overpowers everything else in your mouth, but they’re still delicious.
  6. Oyster. I like saltines, but you have to crumble them if you want to eat them in your soup (which I do). With oyster crackers, I just dump the bag right into the soup. And then I dump another bag. And then another. By the time I’m done, there’s no liquid left in the bowl. It’s a bunch of wet cracker mush. I love it. Tastes like carbs.
  7. Stoned Wheat Thin. There are a lot of different fancy pants rich person crackers that people set out with fine cheeses and sliced pears, but this is the best one. Very sturdy.
  8. Cheez-Its.
  9. Melba rounds. These are also very sturdy, which is good when I want to drag a cracker through some sort of cream cheese dip. I want a pound of dip on the cracker, and not every cracker is up to the task. The cruel irony is that, somehow, every box of melba rounds has half of its content already pulverized. They must use the boxes to protect other fragile items in the shipping container.
  10. Saltines. Official re-introductory food for anyone coming out of a bout of the stomach flu. I think I’ve vomited more saltines than I’ve consumed. I know that isn’t physically possible, but I swear the devil plants an extra sleeve of them inside you when it turns out you aren’t quite ready for solid foods yet.
  11. Animal. They changed the recipe to Barnum’s Animals. They used to taste like straight-up shortbread and now they taste like ###. It’s like they swiped out the Zoo animal crackers from your local vending machine and didn’t think anyone would notice. Well I did. WHAT IS PRESIDENT TRUMP DOING ABOUT THIS?! Golfing on the job yet again, are ya Tubby?
  12. Pretzel thins. You want a smoking hot take that has been baked golden brown and then sprinkled with a touch of sea salt? Here it is: Pretzel crackers are better than actual pretzels. I’ll eat pretzel crackers and pretzel hamburger buns. But put a bunch of pretzels in my Chex Mix and I start #####ing endlessly.
  13. Pita chip. I only need three pita chips to make it through one container of hummus. I’m very efficient. By the way, if you’re using pita as a dipping vessel, warm pita bread triangles are the way to go. I can’t stop eating them. They are the sticky rice of Middle Eastern takeout food.
  14. Ritz. If you have kids, you know that one Ritz cracker produces a metric ton of crumbs on the floor. I’m sick of it. #### you, Ritz crackers. You’re a ####### mess. I don’t care how good of a mock apple pie I can make from you (it really does taste like apples).
  15. Rice. Again, I like them. I know I’m alone on this, but I’ll eat anything that has a mystery sodium glaze on it.
  16. Chicken in a Biskit. I’ve never had these. Do they taste like chicken bullion? That sounds okay.
  17. Water crackers. These are the fancy crackers people set out with various runny cheeses. They ALL taste stale. It’s a mortal lock. I don’t know how Carr’s got a stranglehold on the cocktail party market, but I would like Wheat Thins to DISRUPT it.
  18. Bagel chips. You need a ####### dog’s jaw to get through one of these. Human tooth enamel is not meant for the rigors of bagel chip consumption.
  19. Matzo. Please don’t accuse me of anti-semitism.
  20. Crispbread. This is dryass rye cracker bread that is meant for dying sailors but has been marketed as a kind of upscale digestive. Avoid this cracker. It’s for teething infants.
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Triscuit

Saltines

Wheat Thins

My Big Three.

I liked Grahams & Ritz when I was a kid, but no more. The rest are "meh" to me.

 
I have a bad feeling about the "women's march" thread, so not going to look. 

but- 39pages? is it basically a bunch of yabos whining about the protest?

 
Triscuits >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Wheat thins

Don't fall for that BS that Florence Henderson spread about Wheat Thins. They are turrible.

 
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Captain Quinoa said:
I hate Wheat Thins.  But I would rather eat a Wheat Thin out of shuke's butt crack the morning after taco and tequila night at the Moose Lodge than even sniff a single Club Cracker.




 
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Mmmm ...Club cracker ...fake buttery goodness.  I love them.  

These go great with everything.  

And I'm pretty sure it's the Elk Lodge.  

 
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