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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (19 Viewers)

I just walked past a homeless man on the sidewalk with two dogs and a sign that said

"Saving to get grain free dog food"

That's why they say keep Portland weird

 
I once had to pay $165 for a replacement tire in Baker because there was an accident on 15, we got detoured through Kelso, and my tire melted during the 5 hour delay in 110 degree heat.  Know how I know the temperature?
Right after we we married, Joyce and I were driving from Dallas to Western Kansas (her home). We're somewhere between Oklahoma City and the Kansas border when our 1980 Subaru wagon had a flat. Now, this was not the deluxe 80 Subaru and can with basic features like 10" tires. 

So this part of Oklahoma is the most godforsaken terroir in the nation, oulr as we euphemistically call it, an  "Indian reservation." At 2am, as we were driving past, there was a big gas station lit up asking the interested in this Pawnee town of 50 souls.

Oops sorry tbc

 
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Me-OW!

 
My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  

 
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My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross, man.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  
So wait! You prevented a lllama escape and deprived us of the entertainment that it would have provided?

 
My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  
That's a story that would make Betty Butters proud

 
I vented on Friday about my son's accident and Geico refusing liability and figured I'd stop in and provide an update.  I spent the morning playing detective and went to the high school to see if they had camera's on the parking lot.  Not only do they have camera's but I was able to watch footage of the accident.  :excited:

It only took Geico a few hours to accept liability after I brought this to their attention.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

This is especially sweet as I had a very short conversation with the kids father after the accident where he stated he believed his son's version of the accident and hung up on me.  Take that you rude S.O.B.

 
My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  
Weirdest part of this whole exchange is that your boss calls you "Forresto."

 
I vented on Friday about my son's accident and Geico refusing liability and figured I'd stop in and provide an update.  I spent the morning playing detective and went to the high school to see if they had camera's on the parking lot.  Not only do they have camera's but I was able to watch footage of the accident.  :excited:

It only took Geico a few hours to accept liability after I brought this to their attention.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

This is especially sweet as I had a very short conversation with the kids father after the accident where he stated he believed his son's version of the accident and hung up on me.  Take that you rude S.O.B.
How'd that conversation go exactly?  

 
Be careful out there you pancake eaters.

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — A college student whose father was killed in the Sept. 11 attacks has died after choking during a pancake-eating contest.

Police said 20-year-old Caitlin Nelson died at a New York City hospital on Sunday, three days after participating in the contest at Sacred Heart University. She was from Clark, New Jersey, and was a junior majoring in social work at the Roman Catholic school in Fairfield.

"It's a tragic event that started out as something fun," said Fairfield police Lt. Bob Kalamaras."It was just a tragic accident."

When Nelson started choking at the contest, two nursing students who were there immediately began lifesaving measures and were quickly joined by police officers and paramedics, Kalamaras said. She was taken to a hospital in Bridgeport in critical but stable condition and transferred on Friday to New York-Presbyterian/Columbia University Medical Center.
- Posty

 
Be careful out there you pancake eaters.

- Posty
I feel like there's a lot of stuff unanswered here. Like, I'm not sure what her dad dying in the 9/11 attacks have to do with anything. Other than maybe it's another tragedy for her family so the reporter played up the emotions?

I'm not sure how someone dies from choking when other people are there to immediately render aid, they are stabilized at one hospital, transported to another hospital, and then dies in the 2nd hospital. There's gotta be more to this, right?

 
I feel like there's a lot of stuff unanswered here. Like, I'm not sure what her dad dying in the 9/11 attacks have to do with anything. Other than maybe it's another tragedy for her family so the reporter played up the emotions?

I'm not sure how someone dies from choking when other people are there to immediately render aid, they are stabilized at one hospital, transported to another hospital, and then dies in the 2nd hospital. There's gotta be more to this, right?
Assumed that she never stopped eating the pancakes and choked a couple more times.

 
I feel like there's a lot of stuff unanswered here. Like, I'm not sure what her dad dying in the 9/11 attacks have to do with anything. Other than maybe it's another tragedy for her family so the reporter played up the emotions?

I'm not sure how someone dies from choking when other people are there to immediately render aid, they are stabilized at one hospital, transported to another hospital, and then dies in the 2nd hospital. There's gotta be more to this, right?
Yeah, that is askew. She was also really attractive.  

 
I vented on Friday about my son's accident and Geico refusing liability and figured I'd stop in and provide an update.  I spent the morning playing detective and went to the high school to see if they had camera's on the parking lot.  Not only do they have camera's but I was able to watch footage of the accident.  :excited:

It only took Geico a few hours to accept liability after I brought this to their attention.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

This is especially sweet as I had a very short conversation with the kids father after the accident where he stated he believed his son's version of the accident and hung up on me.  Take that you rude S.O.B.




 
Pure sweetness.  Please call him up and deman an apology.  

 
I vented on Friday about my son's accident and Geico refusing liability and figured I'd stop in and provide an update.  I spent the morning playing detective and went to the high school to see if they had camera's on the parking lot.  Not only do they have camera's but I was able to watch footage of the accident.  :excited:

It only took Geico a few hours to accept liability after I brought this to their attention.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

This is especially sweet as I had a very short conversation with the kids father after the accident where he stated he believed his son's version of the accident and hung up on me.  Take that you rude S.O.B.
Mail him a copy of the footage.

 
I vented on Friday about my son's accident and Geico refusing liability and figured I'd stop in and provide an update.  I spent the morning playing detective and went to the high school to see if they had camera's on the parking lot.  Not only do they have camera's but I was able to watch footage of the accident.  :excited:

It only took Geico a few hours to accept liability after I brought this to their attention.  :thumbup: :thumbup:

This is especially sweet as I had a very short conversation with the kids father after the accident where he stated he believed his son's version of the accident and hung up on me.  Take that you rude S.O.B.


Take that, punk kid.

Tbh, if my kid's involved in a he said/ he said incident, damn Skippy I'm taking my son's side of it... until shown the video tape.

 

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