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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (10 Viewers)

General Malaise said:
My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  
Click to expand...
Good job, Macgyver

 
Limp Ditka said:
A good lllama chase really would have made the afternoon go by a lot quicker than it did.
Click to expand...
I met a llama rancher one time. I sold him some advertising.

While we were getting to know each other he told me he used to have a big old stud llama that was kind of ornery. One day he's out working and the stud llama comes up and spits on him and tries to kick him. He says "#### you llama" and grabs his rifle, comes back and shoots the thing in the head. Dead.

I gave that guy a discount

 
tommyboy said:
I met a llama rancher one time. I sold him some advertising.

While we were getting to know each other he told me he used to have a big old stud llama that was kind of ornery. One day he's out working and the stud llama comes up and spits on him and tries to kick him. He says "#### you llama" and grabs his rifle, comes back and shoots the thing in the head. Dead.

I gave that guy a discount
Click to expand...
:mellow:

 
tommyboy said:
I met a llama rancher one time. I sold him some advertising.

While we were getting to know each other he told me he used to have a big old stud llama that was kind of ornery. One day he's out working and the stud llama comes up and spits on him and tries to kick him. He says "#### you llama" and grabs his rifle, comes back and shoots the thing in the head. Dead.

I gave that guy a discount
Click to expand...
You get gang raped by lllllams or something bro? 

 
tommyboy said:
I met a llama rancher one time. I sold him some advertising.

While we were getting to know each other he told me he used to have a big old stud llama that was kind of ornery. One day he's out working and the stud llama comes up and spits on him and tries to kick him. He says "#### you llama" and grabs his rifle, comes back and shoots the thing in the head. Dead.

I gave that guy a discount
Click to expand...
Its like a very short, really bad telling of the old Billy Martin Mickey Mantle story.

 
General Malaise said:
My boss likes to take laps around the warehouses we office in a few times a day.  Today, he went for his laps and not long after, came back into the office and said "Forresto, get your jacket on, I need your help, you won't believe this!".  I hop up, put my jacket on and he takes me to the side of the warehouse where a guy in an old, beat-up mini-van carrying two giant lllamas (sp?) in the back is over on the road.  He pulled over because one of the lllllllamas spit on the other and when he opened up his trunk, he couldn't shut it.  So my boss says "hang on, I got the right guy who will fix this" and of course he thought of me because I'm so mechanically inclined.  I noticed that in addition to the two giant llllllllllamas, there was a small child in the car, so I recognized that despite the fact that in reality I'm a mechanical mongoloid, I had to fix this latch and shut this trunk.  It was my true George Costanza pretending to be a marine biologist moment.  

I ran back to the warehouse, borrowed some tools from the guys who lease our space, returned and went to work.  Son of a beach, I fixed it!  Guy shut the trunk, latched it and then started complaining that his license plate was about to fall off.  It was clinging on one bad screw and so I tried to fix that too.  I gave it my best, then this guy opens the trunk to look to see if my handiwork would pass muster and I yelled out "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as one of the grumpy llamas started to use this opportunity to back out of the damn trunk!  Plus, i wasn't sure that I actually, you know, FIXED the latch well enough for repeated latching.  So me and this hillbilly started shoving the back asssss of this freedom seeking llama while my boss watched on and laughed.  Man, these things are heavy and their coats are frigging gross.  Feel like I need a shower after pushing on his furry butt.  

We got him back in, latched the trunk and then hung his license plate with clear packing tape.  What a day.  
Click to expand...
Proud of you my brother. 

 
Now I know what what it means to be on tilt. Far and away the worst gambling day of my life. I'm going to wind up savaging the bankroll I made by hitting two royal flushes the same day in 2014.

However, I am not out of money by any stretch, and there's a Bank of America ATM a few blocks away.  :lmao:

 
Sammy3469 said:
@shuke showing up in your twitter feed without food in his mouth is a tremendously disappointing way to start the morning.  

You go from who is this attractive young lady..to who's that she's with...to "oh hello shuke"...to WAIT where's the food
Click to expand...
And don't even get me started on the fact that the picture wasn't on the Jumbotron

 
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