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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (3 Viewers)

mr. furley said:
https://sports.yahoo.com/nfl-next-one-handed-shaquem-griffin-195159947.html

this guy is playing college football at a high level with one hand.  might be a source of inspiration?? i have no idea
Was just going to post the story I read about him this week.....

What happened to the "Spoiler" tags?  I know you guys can use them, but I don't have an option on my panel when I reply.  I have link, quote, code then smiley face.  No option for spoilers.  

Well, you call can read this.  It's a good read.

ORLANDO — At UCF, they call it “City ball, Country ball.”

If there are a lot of players around a fumble, it’s a city ball, and you have to jump on it. But if there is open space, it’s a country ball, and you try to scoop it up.

UCF linebacker Shaquem Griffin doesn’t have a left hand, but he executed country ball to perfection last Saturday, scooping up a fumble with his right hand and returning it 20 yards for his first collegiate touchdown in UCF’s 73-33 win over Austin Peay.

“It was bouncing, and I might miss it, but I could jump on it still,” Griffin told The All-American. “Once it stuck to my glove, I said, ‘Oh, man, just keep going.’ I didn’t know if there’d be a flag. I didn’t know if it’d count. I just kept running until I got in the end zone. I had to do my celebration in the end zone. That was awesome.”

Griffin’s left hand was amputated when he was four years old, a result of being born with amniotic band syndrome. It kept his hand from fully developing and caused his fingers to constantly have a burning feeling.

But it never kept him away from football. Last year, Griffin was the American Athletic Conference Defensive Player of the Year. This year, he leads a Knights defense that leads all AAC teams in scoring defense (19.7 points per game, No. 25 nationally). No. 18 UCF is sitting at 7-0 and eyeing an undefeated regular season and a New Year’s Six berth as it heads to SMU on Saturday.

“My whole thing was, when I had an opportunity to play, just give everything I’ve got and let it do the talking for me,” he said. “I was never a guy to brag or talk about how good I am. I just want to give everything I’ve got and let that do the talking for me. They gave me a chance, and I just played as hard as I can.”

===

Last Saturday may have been Griffin’s first collegiate touchdown, but it wasn’t the first touchdown of his life.

His twin brother Shaquill is currently a starting cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks, but he was a fierce fullback at 10 years old, constantly opening holes for Shaquem when they were growing up in St. Petersburg.

“Every time I got the ball, he’d make a good block and I’d take off to the end zone,” Shaquem said. “It’s crazy when you’ve got your brother in front of you and you know if I stick behind him, he’d sacrifice his body to let me get free. We’d come back and celebrate.”

Before this year, the Griffin brothers had played on the same teams ever since they were four years old. Shaquill is the slightly older twin and always played the role of the protective older brother. When Shaquem lost his hand, that only amplified.

“I remember he got the ball, and I was blocking anybody in front, making sure they didn’t touch him,” Shaquill told The All-American. “That’s one thing I’ll never forget, when I got to really protect him. That’s what it felt like blocking for him.”

Growing up, they made a pact that they’d always be there for each other.

“I felt so protective of him,” Shaquill said. “We made a bond that we’d stick together, no matter what. We were going to have each other’s backs. It’s something we’d stuck by since we were little. I wasn’t going to let a college or coach separate us doing that. We stuck by each other’s side, and we had a chance to take care of each other.”

Shaquem (left) and his brother Shaquill Griffin (right) had played on the same team every year until this year. Shaquill was drafted by the Seattle Seahawks. (Photo: Joe Robbins/Getty Images)

Coming out of high school, Shaquill was a three-star prospect with a number of impressive offers and interest. Shaquem didn’t get the same attention, in part due to only having one hand. But if you wanted to recruit Shaquill, you also had to take Shaquem. The older twin wouldn’t have it any other way.

“He had to protect him sometimes. He had to speak up for him at some times,” sister-in-law Ronke Griffin told The All-American. “Not to say Shaquem wouldn’t speak up for himself, but it was that protective big brother role. ‘He’s no different than you. He can do anything you can do. If you’re going to go through anyone, it’s me first.'”

So a young defensive backs coach at UCF had an idea.

Kirk Callahan joined George O’Leary’s UCF staff in February 2012 in his first full-time coaching job, so the class of 2013 was his first opportunity in putting together a recruiting class. He saw two talented players in the Griffins. He needed to make sure the rest of the staff did, too.

“When I presented the film to our defensive staff, it was a no-brainer for Shaquill, and they said it was a no-brainer for Shaquem. The funny thing was I didn’t inform anybody that Shaquem had one hand,” Callahan told The All-American. “I did the same thing presenting it to George O’Leary.”

Eventually, Callahan had to explain the full story.

“At the time, I was 26 years old, the secondary coach, and I went to George O’Leary and told him I wanted to sign these twins, and one has one hand. He looked at me like I had two heads coming out of my neck and said, ‘You’re telling me, on your first recruiting class, you want to sign a kid with one hand?’ I said I did.”

The Griffins were invited to camp and lived up to the tape, whether with two hands or one.

“The best thing that sold them on coming was that Coach O’Leary said he wouldn’t recruit one without the other,” Callahan said. “He wouldn’t take a commitment from one of them unless both were coming.”

Shaquem was originally signed to play safety, but it didn’t click. He redshirted as a freshman, while Shaquill played at cornerback. Then Shaquem played in one game as a redshirt freshman and 12 as a sophomore, but mostly just on special teams. That year, UCF went 0-12, and O’Leary retired during the season.

Shaquem wanted an opportunity to show he could do more. A new coaching staff would give it to him.

===

UCF defensive coordinator Erik Chinander didn’t watch much film before arriving with head coach Scott Frost after the 2015 season. He asked retained assistants Sean Beckton and Travis Fisher about players who could use a position change, and Shaquem’s name came up.

“They said his effort was unbelievable and they couldn’t block him on scout team for two years. I said, ‘Great, let’s do it,’” Chinander told The All-American. “Then they said, ‘By the way, he’s got one hand.’ I was like, what? What does it actually mean? I had no idea what to expect.”

“Then you meet the kid, his personality is contagious, and you don’t know what to think. I was probably just like everybody else for a while. Let’s put him out there, but I don’t think it’ll work.”

One of Griffin's two sacks so far this season came in an October win over Cincinnati. (Photo: Aaron Doster/USA TODAY Sports)

It finally clicked for Shaquem.

“Then he starts to play, and you move him up to second string. He makes a lot of plays, and you move him up,” Chinander said. “Before long, you forget he has one hand. We don’t say in our staff room, ‘I can’t believe he did that with one hand.’ He does everything.”

As a junior linebacker, Shaquem recorded 92 tackles, 20 tackles for loss, 11.5 sacks, one interception and two fumbles forced and recovered, earning AAC Defensive Player of the Year honors.

“I didn’t know how he could function with one hand, to be honest with you,” Frost told The All-American. “The amazing thing is, after two practices, you forget that’s even an issue. It just never shows up. I haven’t seen one play on the field that he should have made but couldn’t because he has one hand. He’s a special kid. There’s a little more grit inside him because of who he is and what he’s been through. He’s one of our leaders and a guy we’re counting on.”

===

The Knights improved from 0-12 to 6-7 in Frost’s first season. But heading into year two, UCF lost seven defensive starters, including Shaquill, who was drafted in the third round.

For the first time, Shaquem and Shaquill are on different teams. They still communicate every day, but it’s been a lesson in growing in different ways.

“We’ve had an opportunity to figure ourselves out man for man,” Shaquem said. “Growing up, we were always so close. We always made decisions based on each other. Now that we’re separated, we’ve been able to grow as men. It’s important to have that time alone to figure out who you are.”

On his own, Shaquem came up with a wild idea for fall camp: He would live in the football building for the duration of camp, which was more than a month from late July to late August. Shaquill’s leadership was gone from the Knights. It was up to Shaquem to fill that role, so he wanted to lead by example.

He had an air mattress in the linebackers room to sleep on overnight, there was plenty of food available in the building, and he spent most of his free time watching film. Redshirt freshman defensive end Dedrion Bacote also stayed with him as a de facto roommate.

“It was my last camp, and I wanted to do something no one would think of doing,” Shaquem said. “It was kind of scary at first, but it was very beneficial. I was able to not only correct my mistakes, but see others’ mistakes, and it allowed me to teach myself over and over where the plays come second nature. I was able to watch film of other teams. The only thing I could do was watch film. When you’re doing that for a month and a half, you learn a little.”

Shaquem is no longer a secret this season, and opposing offenses have game-planned for him. On the year, Griffin has 37 tackles, 5.5 tackles for loss and two sacks, but he still knows how to make an impact, forcing a red zone fumble with his left arm while sacking Memphis quarterback Riley Ferguson in the Knights’ biggest win of the season. He’s also dropping into man coverage for the first time since the position switch.

“Everybody knows who he is now, and they’re not going to let him ruin a game,” Chinander said. “Last year, he ruined a couple games for the other teams. They’re not letting that happen, doing some things to him where he can’t make as many splash plays, but other guys have made plays. He’s doing other jobs, things that don’t get noticed by fans, helping our team tremendously.”

Shaquill is excelling in the NFL as a rookie right now. Could it be in Shaquem’s future? Don’t count him out.

“They all love his film,” Chinander said of NFL scouts. “I think some don’t even know he’s missing a hand. They call about him and say, ‘Player of the year, we’ve heard about him, watched him. What can you tell us about him?’ You’re curious what you’re going to do when you bring him in front of the GM. Some guys don’t even know. They’re taken off-guard. That’s a credit to the kid, that you wouldn’t even notice.”

===

Shaquem’s phone was blowing up all weekend after his touchdown. It made him feel like he was an offensive player. But Shaquill had to rag on him like any brother.

“He was telling me how slow I was moving,” Shaquem said, laughing. “I told him I’d have had more yards if it opened up, but it was right there.”

In reality, Shaquill was telling everyone on the Seahawks about the score. Their parents kept sending Shaquem different videos of the play, so excited.

Shaquem has always had a family support system, but the lack of a left hand has never slowed him down. This year, he’s taking the next step on his own in more ways than one.

“To the world, it’s new. But to us, it’s been so much hard work in everything he does,” Ronke Griffin said. “He doesn’t go 100 percent. He always goes 110 percent, because he knows he may have those one or two doubters. He wants to show that not only can he do everything, but he can help others do anything. For us to see him get awards, we’re overwhelmed with that, because we always knew he deserved it, and now it’s paying off. It’s OK when his family is telling him he’s great. When the world sees it, it’s something different that makes him go even harder.”

 
Sweet J said:
While I'm here, I will give an update:

I'm still living at home.  It's a little weird, but passable.  Absolutely unsure of what we are doing.  My wife and I have been going to a marriage counselor who specializes in counseling couple's who are separating (weirdly, if it looks like the couple wants to reconcile, she will refer them to a different counselor for the job of making it work).  A strange niche to have, I guess.  Tomorrow I go to see the counselor without the wife.  I'm a little anxious about it.  

Wife and I don't want to kill eachother, so that's nice. 
I wish your daughter all the success in the world, and I love that part of your post.

I'm choosing to focus, however, on the part that will probably confound me until the day I die.  But maybe you can help that not happen.  Maybe I asked this before and you answered, but I can't recall.  But I vividly remember thinking WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL when I read it the first time.  So I'll ask now.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL?

 
You're paying someone money that you could spend on something else, like say, rent on a place that wouldn't require you to be living with your soon-to-be-ex-wife.  So you can hate each other less while living separately and not having to put with the other person's bull#### than you hated each other when you still had the annual Sexcapades?  Wouldn't it be easier and more affordable to just go away and keep hating her and let time and distance dull that for you?

 
I wish your daughter all the success in the world, and I love that part of your post.

I'm choosing to focus, however, on the part that will probably confound me until the day I die.  But maybe you can help that not happen.  Maybe I asked this before and you answered, but I can't recall.  But I vividly remember thinking WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL when I read it the first time.  So I'll ask now.

WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL?
:lmao: :lmao:  

 
You're paying someone money that you could spend on something else, like say, rent on a place that wouldn't require you to be living with your soon-to-be-ex-wife.  So you can hate each other less while living separately and not having to put with the other person's bull#### than you hated each other when you still had the annual Sexcapades?  Wouldn't it be easier and more affordable to just go away and keep hating her and let time and distance dull that for you?
I'm not sure what the price is that we put on having an ex-wife that hates your guts vs. an ex-wife that doesn't hate your guts, but the over/under has to be around five grand or so.

edit:  I think of it not so much as a counselor, but someone I'm paying to help keep my wife rooted in reality.  A skill I'm sadly lacking. 

 
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Sweet J said:
While I'm here, I will give an update:

I'm still living at home.  It's a little weird, but passable.  Absolutely unsure of what we are doing.  My wife and I have been going to a marriage counselor who specializes in counseling couple's who are separating (weirdly, if it looks like the couple wants to reconcile, she will refer them to a different counselor for the job of making it work).  A strange niche to have, I guess.  Tomorrow I go to see the counselor without the wife.  I'm a little anxious about it.  

Wife and I don't want to kill eachother, so that's nice. 

As for other updates:  A HUGE part of my anxiety is taken up over my daughter (8th grade) trying out for the high school basketball team.  The high school routinely has a girl's varsity program that ranks as one of the top programs for the state (we go to TC Williams High School, of "Remember the Titans" fame).  8th graders in our district can try out for the HS squad.

She is a great athlete, and has great size for her position (she's almost 5'10" and is SOLID; she looks trim but is incredibly strong and must weigh a good 150 or so).

My anxiety stems from the fact, as some of you might know, that she was born without a right hand.  So she has to be good enough with what she has to make the team.  We've done a lot of practice together (when she'll let me join), and she's a pretty good dribbler with her left, and can even dribble a little with her right.  But her real skill now is her low post defense.  She is a monster in the paint.  I am desperately hoping that the coaches value this.

I've basically parented her by just pretending she has two hands, and let her figure out what she can do, and how to adapt.  No special services, or PT or OT visits, no prosthetics or trainers, no special keyboards or velco shoe laces.  Just . . . you can figure it out, you got this.  But I die inside a little every time I see her fail, even though I know that's how she learns to achieve. 

One cool fact -- my daughter told me a couple of weeks ago that the JV assistant coach has MS (I think it's MS), and he told her that he was the first disabled kid in his high school history to letter in a varsity sport (I think cross country).  He seems to have taken an interest in her performance.  Not a homer interest.  And other kids have been incredibly supportive of her.  She is skeptical of all of it.  She doesn't consider herself disabled, and doesn't want any extra help.  She wants to rise or fall on her merits, nothing more.  I couldn't be prouder of her.  But I'm still a ball of anxiety over making the team.

tagging @jhib, who had some similar experiences and has given me support through the years.  How's your daughter doing, buddy?

tl;dr -- my daughter is trying out for sports. :confetti: 
didnt' know any of this.. good luck with the relationship(s) and amazing to hear about your daughter.

fwiw, my kids fail constantly with two hands.

 
I'm not sure what the price is that we put on having an ex-wife that hates your guts vs. an ex-wife that doesn't hate your guts, but the over/under has to be around five grand or so.
I already know Redmond's going to come in here and kick me in the balls, but I feel pretty sharp saying I'm betting AT LEAST $5k on the under.

 
Would you guys knock it the hell off?  Sweet J and I might need to go to couples counseling to reach an understanding about this divorce counseling racket, and you're sitting here droning on about spoiler tags. 

 
I'm not sure what the price is that we put on having an ex-wife that hates your guts vs. an ex-wife that doesn't hate your guts, but the over/under has to be around five grand or so.
For me it was around $700,000.   I would have preferred to spend nothing and let her want to spit on me every time she sees me.  

 
Moving updates:

I live in the new house now, surrounded by mostly unlabeled boxes.  

Today I got a couch and loveseat, after the store missed two separate delivery dates.  Free delivery and an extra 10% rebated off the price.

Cable installers missed their appointment.  $30 credit on my bill.  When they finally showed up, the installer recommended a bunch of changes.  I got upgraded wireless boxes, a better router, a setup that makes more sense for my home office, got rid of a landline that I don't need, and got a ####-ton of premium channels and my bill is going down $71/month. 

I bought a desk and hutch from Office Depot with delivery and assembly.   They didn't deliver, rescheduled for a week from now (which caused the assembly date to get pushed back since it's a different company).   Upside is that they're delivering an extra desk for some reason and the people at Office Depot said they don't know how to change that, so I can just keep it. 

The rest of my furniture is still MIA.   

 
JFC

7:45 this morning, 15 minutes before I'm actually 'on the clock', this kid knocks on my classroom door.  We'll call him "Matt" because Matts typically suck at life and that's actually his name.

Matt is a bit freaked out because his mom checked the online grade book and it shows him with an F.  There was a packet of work due on yesterday but Matt was absent.  I mistakenly marked his grade as "missing/zero" instead of "absent/exempt" (for the time being).  I told Matt that I would fix it and that when he turned the packet in later on in the day he would not lose any points for it being late since he was absent.

I even emailed his mom to let her know that he did not have an F and explained that it was my mistake.

So Matt comes in just now and I ask him for his packet.  He tells me that he doesn't have all of the work done and can't turn it in today.   This is the look I gave him.

I made sure I emailed him mom again and dropped dime on him.  D1ck.

 
Thanks - I'm taking meds for cholesterol and high blood pressure so I'm sure that plays a part.  But it would have been nice to see some sort of explanation on the note to schedule one, like "hey GM, this is just a precaution because you take X,Y,Z...."  

or it might be time to switch to Odules.  :kicksrock:
When general practitioners run craploads of blood tests they get a lot of stupid false positives, especially relating to liver enzymes.   Or so says my brother, who is an M.D.   He says that they know that and the "just making sure" follow up is just padding the bill. 

 
@bostonfred, a little help?

I had a dream last night that I was at my boyfriend’s basketball game.  I don’t have a boyfriend, so for purposes of this dream retelling let’s call him Fred.

For the first half of the game, I was in an area with metal bench-style seating, where I proceeded to sleep for the entire half.  At the end of the half, I realized Fred was going to be mad at me for sleeping through it, so although I was still drowsy I forced myself to get up, at which point I remembered that I had taken off my shirt and needed to find it.  I was sleeping under a flannel blanket so had not been showing anything, and I still had my bra on, but I was quite embarrassed to have slept through the first half while in a partial state of undress. 

I felt around for my top while still covered with the blanket and found a white cotton top with colorful stitching, like you’d see in many central and south American countries.  Sort of like this.  I put it on, and immediately the girl behind me pointed out that that was not my top and instead was hers.  So I took it off and gave it to her, rooting around again for my own.  When I found it, I remembered that instead I had been wearing a dull, oversized, medium-blue knit top.  I put this on and then pointedly (and unfairly) asked the girl whose top I’d stolen whether she was happy now.

Fully dressed and awake again, I noticed that in the seats where we were, the view was blocked so that I could only see the area under one of the baskets, and none of the rest of the court.  I started walking around trying to find a seat with a better view, but everywhere I went the view was blocked in various ways.  For instance, I found a cushy seat right at mid-court, but when I sat down realized I could only see the baskets, with the entire center of the court being blocked by giant casino slot machines.  Think of it as sort of like trying to find a good seat in the old Boston Gardens.  Finally, after a bunch of failed attempts, I found a nice seat where I could see the action, but it was in the front row and I thought Fred might see me there and wonder why I was sitting in the front row.  I took it anyway.  Fred played really well in the game, and his team won by 12 points.

After the game, I was outside the locker room waiting for Fred, and I noticed a big bin of stackable trays of post-game food set out for the players.  There was fried chicken, egg salad sandwiches, and one other item I’ve forgotten.  I was worried because there were only two egg salad sandwiches, and Fred was a vegetarian and it was the only option he could eat.  I kept watch here and there in between some wandering around.  At some point I noticed there was only one egg salad sandwich left, and I was worried Fred wouldn’t get it.

One of Fred’s teammates/friends then came out of the locker room and started to flirt with me.  He was really cute, but nowhere near as beautiful as Fred, whom I adored, so while I responded with a little banter I wanted to be careful not to give the wrong idea.  He asked me why, of all the things I could be doing on a Saturday night, I chose to be there.  I held my arms out and looked around and said, “And give up all this?”  We both found this incredibly clever and hilarious, and laughed and laughed.  Then I thought I’d better move on and not use my substantial feminine wiles on him any more than that.  I noted that Fred’s friend had an Eastern European accent and that, if I had to place it, I thought he was from Prague.  I thought it important that, when I relayed this encounter to Fred, I tell him that I thought the guy had an Eastern European accent.

Fred then came out of the locker room, and there was still one egg salad sandwich there, but he said he didn’t like to eat egg salad so late at night.  He didn’t say why but I suspected it might make him gassy.

Fred was in a great mood because he had played well and his team had won.  We got in bed (not sure where the bed came from) – fully clothed and just starting to relax; I was at the beginning of giving him a back massage.  Suddenly a little Latina girl, maybe 4-5 years old, scooted up into bed with us.  She apologized for interrupting but said she was paralyzed from the waist down.  I recognized her and told her that yes, I knew her because I’d seen her being carried around by her older sister, who then also appeared in bed along with 3-4 other young sisters of hers.

We all started talking, and one of the girls mentioned that she was having a baby soon, and Fred said, “Of course you are.”  I knew that he didn’t mean that to be racist but had some other reason for saying it, but I was worried that it would appear racist.  The girls didn’t seem to think that at all either, though.  Whew!  I was going to ask Fred later why he did say that.

The girl who was having the baby said that she really wanted a onesie for her baby that had a Dr. Seuss theme, but with dachshunds on it.  She had a sketch of what she wanted.  Fred started extolling my incredible sewing ability and mentioned that I had done a lot of Dr. Seuss work, though none with dachshunds.  I felt fantastic that Fred thought so highly of my work, because he had never said anything like that before and seemed sincere.  But I was also worried that he was building up my abilities too much, because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do something with dachshunds.  We started working through how I could adapt one of my Dr. Seuss designs to use dachshunds as well.

Then my cat knocked something off the nightstand and woke me up.  End of dream.  
Clearly you should show your boobs off more but other girls are intimidated and try to make you feel bad and you wrongfully acquiesce. Then I lost interest until the part about wiener dogs, but I think anybody that passes on egg salad is a potential keeper, unless the herd of Latino-Hungarian kids is a package deal.

 
On the plus side, the liver can heal itself. 

Or so I'm told by my buddy, who hasn't had an intoxicant for months, including our trip to Vegas, because his enzyme count was all kinds of effed up.  Mind you, he's freakishly large, weighed over 300 lbs for a bit there, and was told it was NOT alcohol related but "good God you got fat" related.  So, until his numbers are back in line, at least, he's off the sauce, the smoke, the edibles, and has added the occasional salad to his playlist. 

And yes, weed apparently can have as large an impact on your liver as booze.

 
Though it occurs to me that's probably all more terrifying to you than a halfhearted, "I'm sure it's nothing."

So, I'm sure it's nothing. 

 
Moving updates:

I live in the new house now, surrounded by mostly unlabeled boxes.  

Today I got a couch and loveseat, after the store missed two separate delivery dates.  Free delivery and an extra 10% rebated off the price.

Cable installers missed their appointment.  $30 credit on my bill.  When they finally showed up, the installer recommended a bunch of changes.  I got upgraded wireless boxes, a better router, a setup that makes more sense for my home office, got rid of a landline that I don't need, and got a ####-ton of premium channels and my bill is going down $71/month. 

I bought a desk and hutch from Office Depot with delivery and assembly.   They didn't deliver, rescheduled for a week from now (which caused the assembly date to get pushed back since it's a different company).   Upside is that they're delivering an extra desk for some reason and the people at Office Depot said they don't know how to change that, so I can just keep it. 

The rest of my furniture is still MIA.   
When's the housewarming party?  I'll bring my own sofa.

 
both true

i'm not a dog guy. my wife & kids love dogs.

this is the best dog i've ever owned and it's just barely tolerable. 
came home to a rancid odor in my house tonight. that familiar smell of stomach acid, bile and partially eaten food.

there's the dog, laying in her kennel.. coated in vomit. kennel is caked in puke. dog it coated in puke. floor has vomit spilled all around. 

kennel door is bent. can't open it. can't pry it open. only way to get her our is to destroy the kennel. :thumbup:

she has since just vomited..... everywhere. gb hard wood floors at least.

anyone want a dog? i'm either letting it free in the woods or giving it away to a family that wants a toddler with less brains and an unstable GI system.

 
When's the housewarming party?  I'll bring my own sofa.
Thanksgiving is open to all.   My friend has a tradition of frying turkeys and getting wasted on jack and coke every year, so I'll have a couple fried turkeys and a drunk friend.  Everything else is pot luck.

 
When general practitioners run craploads of blood tests they get a lot of stupid false positives, especially relating to liver enzymes.   Or so says my brother, who is an M.D.   He says that they know that and the "just making sure" follow up is just padding the bill. 
Yeah they found trace amount of blood in my urine for a few years straight.   Finally said I should get it check so got ultrasounds and scopes and nothing. Did cost me like $1000 in deductible / coinsurance though 

I was supposed to do some sort of 24 hr piss collection but never did

 
@bostonfred, a little help?

I had a dream last night that I was at my boyfriend’s basketball game.  I don’t have a boyfriend, so for purposes of this dream retelling let’s call him Fred.

For the first half of the game, I was in an area with metal bench-style seating, where I proceeded to sleep for the entire half.  At the end of the half, I realized Fred was going to be mad at me for sleeping through it, so although I was still drowsy I forced myself to get up, at which point I remembered that I had taken off my shirt and needed to find it.  I was sleeping under a flannel blanket so had not been showing anything, and I still had my bra on, but I was quite embarrassed to have slept through the first half while in a partial state of undress. 

I felt around for my top while still covered with the blanket and found a white cotton top with colorful stitching, like you’d see in many central and south American countries.  Sort of like this.  I put it on, and immediately the girl behind me pointed out that that was not my top and instead was hers.  So I took it off and gave it to her, rooting around again for my own.  When I found it, I remembered that instead I had been wearing a dull, oversized, medium-blue knit top.  I put this on and then pointedly (and unfairly) asked the girl whose top I’d stolen whether she was happy now.

Fully dressed and awake again, I noticed that in the seats where we were, the view was blocked so that I could only see the area under one of the baskets, and none of the rest of the court.  I started walking around trying to find a seat with a better view, but everywhere I went the view was blocked in various ways.  For instance, I found a cushy seat right at mid-court, but when I sat down realized I could only see the baskets, with the entire center of the court being blocked by giant casino slot machines.  Think of it as sort of like trying to find a good seat in the old Boston Gardens.  Finally, after a bunch of failed attempts, I found a nice seat where I could see the action, but it was in the front row and I thought Fred might see me there and wonder why I was sitting in the front row.  I took it anyway.  Fred played really well in the game, and his team won by 12 points.

After the game, I was outside the locker room waiting for Fred, and I noticed a big bin of stackable trays of post-game food set out for the players.  There was fried chicken, egg salad sandwiches, and one other item I’ve forgotten.  I was worried because there were only two egg salad sandwiches, and Fred was a vegetarian and it was the only option he could eat.  I kept watch here and there in between some wandering around.  At some point I noticed there was only one egg salad sandwich left, and I was worried Fred wouldn’t get it.

One of Fred’s teammates/friends then came out of the locker room and started to flirt with me.  He was really cute, but nowhere near as beautiful as Fred, whom I adored, so while I responded with a little banter I wanted to be careful not to give the wrong idea.  He asked me why, of all the things I could be doing on a Saturday night, I chose to be there.  I held my arms out and looked around and said, “And give up all this?”  We both found this incredibly clever and hilarious, and laughed and laughed.  Then I thought I’d better move on and not use my substantial feminine wiles on him any more than that.  I noted that Fred’s friend had an Eastern European accent and that, if I had to place it, I thought he was from Prague.  I thought it important that, when I relayed this encounter to Fred, I tell him that I thought the guy had an Eastern European accent.

Fred then came out of the locker room, and there was still one egg salad sandwich there, but he said he didn’t like to eat egg salad so late at night.  He didn’t say why but I suspected it might make him gassy.

Fred was in a great mood because he had played well and his team had won.  We got in bed (not sure where the bed came from) – fully clothed and just starting to relax; I was at the beginning of giving him a back massage.  Suddenly a little Latina girl, maybe 4-5 years old, scooted up into bed with us.  She apologized for interrupting but said she was paralyzed from the waist down.  I recognized her and told her that yes, I knew her because I’d seen her being carried around by her older sister, who then also appeared in bed along with 3-4 other young sisters of hers.

We all started talking, and one of the girls mentioned that she was having a baby soon, and Fred said, “Of course you are.”  I knew that he didn’t mean that to be racist but had some other reason for saying it, but I was worried that it would appear racist.  The girls didn’t seem to think that at all either, though.  Whew!  I was going to ask Fred later why he did say that.

The girl who was having the baby said that she really wanted a onesie for her baby that had a Dr. Seuss theme, but with dachshunds on it.  She had a sketch of what she wanted.  Fred started extolling my incredible sewing ability and mentioned that I had done a lot of Dr. Seuss work, though none with dachshunds.  I felt fantastic that Fred thought so highly of my work, because he had never said anything like that before and seemed sincere.  But I was also worried that he was building up my abilities too much, because I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to do something with dachshunds.  We started working through how I could adapt one of my Dr. Seuss designs to use dachshunds as well.

Then my cat knocked something off the nightstand and woke me up.  End of dream.  
I read this a second time hoping it would sound true and decided it doesn't matter.   I'll tell you what it means. It means a lot to me that you tried.  If you could swap out the wiener dog for a pillow fight of some kind I mean that would be ok too.

 
I read this a second time hoping it would sound true and decided it doesn't matter.   I'll tell you what it means. It means a lot to me that you tried.  If you could swap out the wiener dog for a pillow fight of some kind I mean that would be ok too.
:(

 
@bostonfred

I seldom remember dreams, but the other night I dreamt I was on a boat fishing and hooked a huge fish. My rod turned into a fence post and I managed to heave a 6 ft white marlin into the boat. The line was all tangled up and ensnared a second, dinosaur looking fish was also landed. At the docks, I was told the other fish was a baby swordfish. 
This might seem like a bit of a stretch but I'm pretty sure the white marlin is your proverbial great white whale.  And you've caught it, but it's kind of a mess, and you've already got another, baby trophy fish in your sights. And that's kind of your thing.  In the last 15 years you've gone from poker to wine to having your own resort to investing in movies and who knows what else i don't even know about, andyou're always out there seeking that next big thing. But you're not the kind of guy that lives for the payoff.  You're not landing a whale, because you dont get your juice from crossing the finish line or from the journey.  You're the rare kind that gets his kicks from going to the next starting line and getting started, and i think you're starting to get the itch again.  I find it incredibly impressive. 

 
Are you saying that was a real dream?  I was being serious, I thought it was very nice that you made up an undies dream with a boyfriend named Fred but if this is real then let's switch to private message. 
:lmao:  

:(

It was real other than the name Fred.

 
Is that a python in your pants or are you just excited to get arrested?

A man detained by police during a drunken argument in Germany may have violated animal welfare laws after being found to be carrying a baby python in his pants.

Police in Darmstadt, in the west of the country, said he was held on Tuesday night after a loud row with another man disturbed residents. They said he was searched and officers noticed “a significant bulge in his trousers”.

The man, 19, told officers he had a snake in his pants and pulled out a 14-inch (36cm) royal python.

He was taken to a police cell to sober up and the snake was put in a box. Speaking on Wednesday, police said they were looking for the reptile’s owner and examining whether “the non-species-appropriate transport” contravened animal protection regulations.

 
Talking about dreams, does anyone have that dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? 

 
Talking about dreams, does anyone have that dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? 
So they’re making fun of the size of your penis and shattering your enormous ego?

 

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