GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (10 Viewers)

[The Narrator]

Elote is some of the best upscale Mexican I’ve had in a long time.  If you’re ever in Sedona, check it out.  You won’t be disappointed.

ETA:  Apparently we’re in Mountain Time.  Good to know.

Damn. I was in Sedona last month. And I just quit the job that sent me there. 

 

[The Narrator]

Tanner does it better

As an alias, this is my forever mood

 

[-fish-]

turns out when someone sends a pill or two wrapped in a paper bindle (I hadn't seen one of those in years--it made me laugh) wrapped inside a greeting card with a picture of a dog that looks like Hostage Dog through the mail, the mail sorting machine will crush them into powder.   still worked, though.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

turns out when someone sends a pill or two wrapped in a paper bindle (I hadn't seen one of those in years--it made me laugh) wrapped inside a greeting card with a picture of a dog that looks like Hostage Dog through the mail, the mail sorting machine will crush them into powder.   still worked, though.

Congrats on the boner.

 

[eoMMan]

Paper bindle?

 

[Henry Ford]

turns out when someone sends a pill or two wrapped in a paper bindle (I hadn't seen one of those in years--it made me laugh) wrapped inside a greeting card with a picture of a dog that looks like Hostage Dog through the mail, the mail sorting machine will crush them into powder.   still worked, though.

Bindle? I prefer "hobo stick" (NSFW language)

 

[Uruk-Hai]

I thought he said "bindi" at first

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Buncha squares up in here.

Bindle

 

[El Floppo]

Buncha squares up in here.

Bindle

that's more rectangular than square.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

that's more rectangular than square.

this guy is you lol

 

[Apes with Guns]

is it mandatory that i have sex in our new hot tub the day we get it? or can i wait?

 

[eoMMan]

is it mandatory that i have sex in our new hot tub the day we get it? or can i wait?

I think the service guys already broke it in at the warehouse. Fill it up and look for the swirls.

 

[kevzilla]

is it mandatory that i have sex in our new hot tub the day we get it? or can i wait?

Well, you can wait. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Good luck!

 

[facook]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

I hope you're using cat vids.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

turns out when someone sends a pill or two wrapped in a paper bindle (I hadn't seen one of those in years--it made me laugh) wrapped inside a greeting card with a picture of a dog that looks like Hostage Dog through the mail, the mail sorting machine will crush them into powder.   still worked, though.

I think it might have been 5 pills...allegedly. 

 

[DA RAIDERS]

is it mandatory that i have sex in our new hot tub the day we get it? or can i wait?

Mandatory

 

[DA RAIDERS]

@-fish- dude.  I know you’re hella busy. But!  How about a quick 2 day ski trip. No kids, etc.  just you and me?  :GAY:  :confetti:  crystal point. Let me know. 

 

[-fish-]

I think it might have been 5 pills...allegedly. 

huh...I was pretty mellow.

 

[-fish-]

@-fish- dude.  I know you’re hella busy. But!  How about a quick 2 day ski trip. No kids, etc.  just you and me?  :GAY:  :confetti:  crystal point. Let me know. 

I'd love to.   Don't know when I can while it's still decent.   I'll text you next week after roverkid starts her treatment and see what's going on.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Bindle? I prefer "hobo stick" (NSFW language)

I'll never be able to think of Roger Miller the same way again.

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Well, well, well, look at the self-styled "Lenny Bruce of Oildale" over here.  (What would that even look like? Actually, upon reflection I think I have a pretty good idea;  40 year old "Hee-Haw" jokes, liberally sprinkled with the eff word and nicotine.)

 

[DA RAIDERS]

huh...I was pretty mellow.

That would equate. 

 

[psychobillies]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Huh.  I thought only funny people did that.

*the stand up part, not the gun thing. 

 

[El Floppo]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

I started typing something to bust your balls... but #### it- that's great. very cool you're trying something new in your twilight years. dammit. sorry. I hope it went well- looking forward to hearing about it. you have to give us some of your routine...

 

[kevzilla]

Hoping Tanner checks in today 

 

[eoMMan]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Good luck.  That's pretty cool.

 

[The Narrator]

Holy crap. About to do my first open mic comedy stand up.  

If you don’t hear from me later...I probably ate a gun.

Kick ###. Let's see a video.

 

[Epic Problem]

Hoping Tanner checks in today 

Just looked at the Oildale patch and no stories about a comedian eating a gun

 

[El Floppo]

Just looked at the Oildale patch and no stories about a comedian eating a gun

any about dejected teacher doing the same?

 

[Epic Problem]

any about dejected teacher doing the same?

No. There is one about a dejected teacher eating a ####, but surprisingly the name doesn't match. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

He said "No curve....B+"

 

[kevzilla]

Got on the treadmill again this morning with only a little soreness. I think I'm past that weird back episode. Which means a disc fragment will attempt to escape my spine by 10 AM tomorrow. 

 

[El Floppo]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son's and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

He said "No curve....B+"

let us be the judges.

tell us a joke, funny-man.

 

[El Floppo]

btw- still think its amazing you did this. 

how did you feel going up there? nervous? had you practiced your routine, or did you wing most of it?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

let us be the judges.

tell us a joke, funny-man.

No jokes.  Just props.  I'm like the Carrot-Top for the new millennium.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

btw- still think its amazing you did this. 

how did you feel going up there? nervous? had you practiced your routine, or did you wing most of it?

Fairly nervous but not much worse than what I do for a living.  I absolutely practiced.  There are people that just go up and try to relate funny stories etc.  That doesn't really go over that well.

 

[El Floppo]

Fairly nervous but not much worse than what I do for a living*.  I absolutely practiced.  There are people that just go up and try to relate funny stories etc.  That doesn't really go over that well.

*that's actually part of a bit I haven't done yet.  

"Somebody asked me if I was nervous about getting up in front of a crowd  'what if they don't like you? what if there are hecklers?'.  Look, I teach junior high.  Everyday I get in front of 185 13 years olds that absolutely hate going to school.  Nervous? That's like asking a Navy Seal if he's nervous about going to play Lazer-Tag."

my ex's bestfriend's ex is a writer guy who did the pickup artist book. before that, he was a music writer for different outlets and was tasked with writing a piece about stand-up. 

he did a bit at open-mic night at Dangerfield's here in the city that we all went to for support. he read from note-cards and looked petrified... still got some good laughs, but said he'd never do it again- terrifying. this coming from the guy that ghost-wrote marilyn manson's "auto"biography. 

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Better than any joke

 

[Epic Problem]

Better than any joke

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Fairly nervous but not much worse than what I do for a living*.  I absolutely practiced.  There are people that just go up and try to relate funny stories etc.  That doesn't really go over that well.

*that's actually part of a bit I haven't done yet.  

"Somebody asked me if I was nervous about getting up in front of a crowd  'what if they don't like you? what if there are hecklers?'.  Look, I teach junior high.  Everyday I get in front of 185 13 years olds that absolutely hate going to school.  Nervous? That's like asking a Navy Seal if he's nervous about going to play Lazer-Tag."

do NOT tell us it wasn't videoed.

 

[General Malaise]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son's and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

He said "No curve....B+"

Be curious on your process...writing, rehearsing, etc.  Been tasked with doing this too. Scurred.

 

[The Narrator]

I think it went pretty well.  I know I got plenty of laughs but It's hard to tell when you're up there.  I need to slow down my delivery...I know a couple of jokes got swallowed up because I didn't wait long enough for the last line to die out.

The guy that hosted it is a friend of my son's and he's also a substitute teacher in out district.  I asked him after "No BS.  Give me an honest evaluation."  

 He said "No curve....B+"

With no curve that's about as good as it gets. 

 

[Osaurus]

Just opened a nice Rosé from 48 Wineworks.  The B&B I’m staying at makes you fresh bread every day in an in room bread maker unless you don’t want it. Sedona is an interesting place.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

do NOT tell us it wasn't videoed.

It was not.  I went in solo. No friends or family in the crowd. I did put my phone down on the stool and recorded audio but that’s about it.

 

[RC94]

We have lost 2 people from my team the past week - one got a promotion to go to a different part of the company; the other got a promotion to go to a competitor.  It was already busy every day.  Now it's going to be ridiculous.  I need sleep.

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

We have lost 2 people from my team the past week - one got a promotion to go to a different part of the company; the other got a promotion to go to a competitor.  It was already busy every day.  Now it's going to be ridiculous.  I need sleep.

I recommend getting a promotion. 

Seriously, gl RC.

 

[RC94]

I recommend getting a promotion. 

Seriously, gl RC.

Thanks.

I actually already got a promotion.  I got one to join this team.  I've been with the company for 7 weeks now.  A lot is expected of me, and with 2 of the most experienced people on the team leaving, I'm going to have to do a lot.

That said, I really like this company, my teammates, and this job.  We will eventually hire replacements and things will go back to just being regular busy.  The interview process for me was intense - I met with 15 people with some of the times being with 3 or 4 at once.  One day I met with 7 people, although not all at the same time.  It was a whirlwind with a new set of interviews every week for 3 weeks until I got an offer.   We will be hiring lower level people than me so hopefully we won't need to get input from so many people.  It's a big company so they have their process and they are going to stick with it, but we need help.

 

[krista4]

It was not.  I went in solo. No friends or family in the crowd. I did put my phone down on the stool and recorded audio but that’s about it.

Yeah, Mr krista wants to do this sometime, and we are in full agreement that I won’t be anywhere near the place.  Glad it went well!

 

[Man of Constant Sorrow]

Thanks.

I actually already got a promotion.  I got one to join this team.  I've been with the company for 7 weeks now.  A lot is expected of me, and with 2 of the most experienced people on the team leaving, I'm going to have to do a lot.

That said, I really like this company, my teammates, and this job.  We will eventually hire replacements and things will go back to just being regular busy.  The interview process for me was intense - I met with 15 people with some of the times being with 3 or 4 at once.  One day I met with 7 people, although not all at the same time.  It was a whirlwind with a new set of interviews every week for 3 weeks until I got an offer.   We will be hiring lower level people than me so hopefully we won't need to get input from so many people.  It's a big company so they have their process and they are going to stick with it, but we need help.

Man. That's awesome. 

This could be a great opportunity to really show em what ya got. 

But, as you say, temporarily.