Technology has brought us many great things, but I think one unheralded achievement of modernization is the evolution of the apple. When I was a kid, we had red and green. Those were the apples. God help you if your mom brought home the sour green ones and made you eat them.
But now, I've discovered something called the Wild Twist apple and I'm here to tell you, this is the pinnacle. We have mastered the apple. Time to move on to other fruits, because there can be no more improvement on the apple. We have reached perfection.