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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (31 Viewers)

General Malaise said:
Abraham said:
General Malaise said:
Idiot Boxer said:
General Malaise said:
Teenagers sound like a lot of work. Glad I don't have any of them.
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Here's the thing about that...
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Can't wait until I have two teenagers, a 5 year old daughter who thinks she's a movie character from a fictional film and twin 3 year olds. Some guys dream of retirement; this is the stuff of my dreams because let's face it, there will be no retirement for me. :(

Kellen turns 13 on Thanksgiving. Might be the easiest going kid on the planet. Can't imagine teenage years will change that any. :oldunsure:
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Ah, I imagine your family will be the sole exception in history where your teenage children are wonderful to be around all the time. At least you aren't still reproducing, right?
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I sure hope not. I get my juices tested on Wed to see if they are blanks or not. Hoping for the former. :oldunsure:
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Good thing. I was starting to worry that ginger DNA would take over Portland.

 
shuke said:
Abraham said:
Yeah. We had a string of really good luck all summer (finding the right school for our kid, finding the new house, selling our house at asking price in a day) so some crap lately seems to be the universe evening it out. Her neck is going to hurt for a while but she is lucky. She was stopped on the interstate with one car stopped behind her. Teenage girl (texting I'm sure) plowed in to him going 65. Amazing she is alive.
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Glad the wife is ok.

WTF else are you talking about here?
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I'm assuming that he was with his wife when the hot waitress remembered his order. Probably didn't go over well.
 
DoubleG said:
heckmanm said:
What's the point of hiring these Indian contractors if they're not going to bring in food for Diwali? :rolleyes:
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I'm glad somebody brought this up, I was about...wait. WTF does this even mean????
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Diwali - my understanding is that tasty snacks are a significant part of the celebration, and it starts today. We have several contractors in my department of Indianed descent, so I was hoping for tasty snacks to be brought into the office.

Further research indicates that it runs through the week, so perhaps the tasty snack portion of the festival has not arrived yet.

 
St. Louis Bob said:
El Floppo said:
General Malaise said:
I don't think I've ever shot it into a cup before. Hope I don't miss. Lotta pressure here. What if I don't have 2 full ounces?
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jack rooms are awesome.

signed,

guys who went through fertility treatment and don't have GM rabbit-like sperm.
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I always made my wife do me. I jerk off on my own enough.
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wait... that was allowed? sunnova...

although- our doc treated a lot of hassidic jews. they'd disappear into chez jack-attack together with some kind of blanket in a clear plastic case. made me think the rumors about hassidic jews and ####### through blankets may have been true.

 
El Floppo said:
St. Louis Bob said:
El Floppo said:
General Malaise said:
I don't think I've ever shot it into a cup before. Hope I don't miss. Lotta pressure here. What if I don't have 2 full ounces?
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jack rooms are awesome.

signed,

guys who went through fertility treatment and don't have GM rabbit-like sperm.
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I always made my wife do me. I jerk off on my own enough.
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wait... that was allowed? sunnova...

although- our doc treated a lot of hassidic jews. they'd disappear into chez jack-attack together with some kind of blanket in a clear plastic case. made me think the rumors about hassidic jews and ####### through blankets may have been true.
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Well, yeah. It's difficult to massage my own prostate.

 
Krista - In case you need to Art Of War the battle with Sasquatch PI, and know thy enemy, there's a Bigfoot marathon on History Channel right now.

 
heckmanm said:
DoubleG said:
heckmanm said:
What's the point of hiring these Indian contractors if they're not going to bring in food for Diwali? :rolleyes:
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I'm glad somebody brought this up, I was about...wait. WTF does this even mean????
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Diwali - my understanding is that tasty snacks are a significant part of the celebration, and it starts today. We have several contractors in my department of Indianed descent, so I was hoping for tasty snacks to be brought into the office.

Further research indicates that it runs through the week, so perhaps the tasty snack portion of the festival has not arrived yet.
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2015 date 11 November (Wednesday)
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cstu said:
heckmanm said:
DoubleG said:
heckmanm said:
What's the point of hiring these Indian contractors if they're not going to bring in food for Diwali? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
I'm glad somebody brought this up, I was about...wait. WTF does this even mean????
Click to expand...
Diwali - my understanding is that tasty snacks are a significant part of the celebration, and it starts today. We have several contractors in my department of Indianed descent, so I was hoping for tasty snacks to be brought into the office.

Further research indicates that it runs through the week, so perhaps the tasty snack portion of the festival has not arrived yet.
Click to expand...
2015 date 11 November (Wednesday)
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Ah, thanks. Apparently "The Diwali festival actually runs for five days, with the main celebrations happening on the third day in most places in India."

So today is the first day, but not the main celebration.

 
Got me a new hairdo tonight. Pretty sure I look exactly like Ryan Reynolds now. Other than the abs and the money and the looks and the parade of Hollywood starlets I've nailed.

 
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.

 
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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Wtf

 
General Malaise said:
RedmondLonghorn said:
Eldest Longhornkid is such a d!ckface. After a few months of making nice (but generally in a transparently insincere way), he is back to being a real jerk to Wife2.0 and me. He is clearly very angry, but instead of admitting it, or blowing up, or anything that would allow us to deal with it, he just continues to be corrosively passive-aggressive.

It is really taking a toll on me and my wife. And I don't know what to do.
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White knuckle it until he goes off to college. I think after that, kids learn much about themselves and begin to actually appreciate their parents. I know because I've seen several Facebook memes about it.
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:lmao:

 
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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"But, for $400 I can get a restraining order. I know it's more steps, but the savings would be significant."
 
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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Please please please let it be written in crayon or in black sharpie on a yellow legal pad because he thought that would make it legal.

 
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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This is so sad. I can't imagine just straight out telling a family member that all you care about is their money like that and that you'd rather have their money than ever have contact with them again.

 
GroveDiesel said:
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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This is so sad. I can't imagine just straight out telling a family member that all you care about is their money like that and that you'd rather have their money than ever have contact with them again.
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Yep.

 
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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Jesus.Maybe he's open to a counter offer? "You can have $500 to go away or you can have nothing."

 
As a former fatty, I'm standing firm with the 10 minute mile without dying test.

This guy needs to suffer in some way. Dangle the carrot in front of him and watch him drop reaching for it

 
Former MLB pitcher Tommy Hanson passed away at 29 due to catastrophic organ failure. Isn't that what took the life of Tremendous Upside? Incredibly sad.

 
Ignoramus said:
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
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Jesus.Maybe he's open to a counter offer? "You can have $500 to go away or you can have nothing."
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No need to counter when he's already negotiating against himself.

The sad fact, though, is that my grandpa is going to give him some significant amount of money. Don't know why, don't know what. We keep learning of more and more that gramps has already done, but somehow he feels like he owes it to his dead second wife.

 
krista4 said:
Ignoramus said:
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
Click to expand...
Jesus.Maybe he's open to a counter offer? "You can have $500 to go away or you can have nothing."
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No need to counter when he's already negotiating against himself.

The sad fact, though, is that my grandpa is going to give him some significant amount of money. Don't know why, don't know what. We keep learning of more and more that gramps has already done, but somehow he feels like he owes it to his dead second wife.
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Not any of our business, but would parting with this kind of money hinder or negatively impact your grandfather's ability to live out the rest of his life in financial comfort? Note that I am with everybody here that thinks this guy should get absolutely nothing and like it, but if parting with a chunk of cash has any sort of negative impact on gramp's retirement nest egg, I'll help you kick fat *******'s assssssss.

 
General Malaise said:
krista4 said:
Ignoramus said:
krista4 said:
Learned today that Sasquatch-lover prepared a "contract" that he gave to my grandpa indicating that as soon as gramps gives him $40K (detective agency buy-ins are getting cheaper), Bigfoot will leave him alone. Trying to obtain a copy of said contract for the amusement of the GMTAN.
Click to expand...
Jesus.Maybe he's open to a counter offer? "You can have $500 to go away or you can have nothing."
Click to expand...
No need to counter when he's already negotiating against himself.

The sad fact, though, is that my grandpa is going to give him some significant amount of money. Don't know why, don't know what. We keep learning of more and more that gramps has already done, but somehow he feels like he owes it to his dead second wife.
Click to expand...
Not any of our business, but would parting with this kind of money hinder or negatively impact your grandfather's ability to live out the rest of his life in financial comfort? Note that I am with everybody here that thinks this guy should get absolutely nothing and like it, but if parting with a chunk of cash has any sort of negative impact on gramp's retirement nest egg, I'll help you kick fat *******'s assssssss.
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I have an uncle Antony who solves problems like this on a fairly routine basis.

 
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