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:(
oh- I thought you had already gone this route.
Ex-wife will never be hard on the kids. She clearly believes that we are too picky, too demanding, too mean, etc.. She has a perpetual victim complex and takes no accountability for her own actions and has clearly enabled that behavior in the kids unconsciously. And at the conscious level she clearly gets a kick out of the fact two of my kids are now miserable here. She told me in the past that she would never agree to 50/50 joint custody and now she doesn't have to worry that either of them might choose to be here full time when they turn 16. So she gets to comfort them and reinforce to herself what a great mommy she is and what a big mean bully I am.
When my daughter was acting horribly toward just about everyone in her life, I tried counseling with her, but then my ex-wife got involved and it became useless because she made everything about blame. I found my daughter a counselor where I described the issues, then she met in private with my daughter. I was only involved if the counselor asked my daughter to discuss something with me or if my daughter asked me to discuss something with the counselor.
I agree with Thorn. I think you need a professional from outside the situation. And I don't think the counseling should involve the ex.
I can believe the bolded. My daughter went to a counselor a couple years ago when she was exhibiting some very age-inappropriate behavior (tantrums like a toddler when she was 9-10 years old). She had several sessions and things seem to improve. Then a year later we had a very acute situation and had a joint session with daughter, counselor and ex-wife. I was horrified at how the counselor talked to my daughter, it was enabling beyond description. I absolutely wanted to get to the bottom of why she was acting the way she was but the bottom line was the unacceptable behavior had to stop. The counselor was unwilling to even address the behavior without being boxed into a corner.
This thought has occurred to me, but I don't want to be responsible for sending two more self-centered, unaccountable, borderline sociopaths out into the world without a fight.
I went through a few, including one that made things worse. The key was getting my ex out of the picture, because she: (1) is a pathological liar and (2) continues to try to use my daughter to control my life, even though we split 7 years ago. Once it was just one on one with a counselor without the ex having any involvement, that's when her behavior improved.
You are a good man.
Looking into this right now. Think I may need a cow and a pig.been doing this for about 10 yrs. Great meat, especially the hamburger. Way better than what you can buy at your local supermarketI should look into something like this next yearSo I am pretty excited, we just joined a farm CSA (community supported agriculture) for meat and our first pickup is tomorrow. 100/mth for 18-20lbs of fresh meat
Just committed to a 1/4 cow. Have to freeze but it tastes fine to me
You should do the Noah...two of each.Looking into this right now. Think I may need a cow and a pig.been doing this for about 10 yrs. Great meat, especially the hamburger. Way better than what you can buy at your local supermarketI should look into something like this next yearSo I am pretty excited, we just joined a farm CSA (community supported agriculture) for meat and our first pickup is tomorrow. 100/mth for 18-20lbs of fresh meat
Just committed to a 1/4 cow. Have to freeze but it tastes fine to me
We got 2 dzn eggs, 1lb of bacon, 1lb or ground beef, 1lb of ground pork, 1lb of italian sausage, 1 chicken, beef short ribs, butterfly pork chops and something similar to a beef chuck roast. The eggs and bacon are much better than what you get in the store, making burgers tonight and the chicken tomorrow so will update once we have those.Looking into this right now. Think I may need a cow and a pig.been doing this for about 10 yrs. Great meat, especially the hamburger. Way better than what you can buy at your local supermarketI should look into something like this next yearSo I am pretty excited, we just joined a farm CSA (community supported agriculture) for meat and our first pickup is tomorrow. 100/mth for 18-20lbs of fresh meat
Just committed to a 1/4 cow. Have to freeze but it tastes fine to me
Yeah, absolutely get some family counseling yesterday. I don't know what the right course of action is, but in my unprofessional opinion it sounds like you are running the risk of alienating your kids altogether with draconian penalties for not meeting your requirements with Wife 2.0...and that means they will view Wife 1.0 as the good guy and begin to push for more time with her and less time with you. You guys need professional help asap.
I hear you. But they have both admitted to being intentionally cruel to her for years and to ignoring my requests that they change their behavior, requests that they call me when they are not here (since my calls to their mom's house often go unreturned) and my requests that they occasionally phone my parents (who are in their mid-80s and absolutely adore them). They admit to this and can give no justification or reasons, however weak. They refuse to rise in their own defense even.
I would be spending the rest of your day looking for a family counselor for you, Wife 2.0 and your three kids. You guys are on a precipice right now and you need professional help. Forget your ex-wife. Good luck.
I'm not up to date on the latest and greatest in audio these days unfortunately. The advance of soundbars and the like has passed me by. I will echo what was said earlier - Center channel is the most important unless you are looking fora dual purpose to play music. The smaller your center and other channels the better your sub has to be
Seems like the way to do it. My wife asked what we'd say if my son said he wanted to join and I said then I'd have to explain their bigotry and offer to start a fire somewhere with him. Win-win.
Her kids are 11 and 13. They slot between my kids.
I'm up for suggestions. I generally just watch sports and the occasional movie.Hawks64 said:
This and this, imo. Feels like going super-tough-love isn't going to work with kids that age...especially with the ex working against you on the other side.
I think if you just told this to each of your kids independently, would be the best start towards mending fences and feeling empathy on both sides. Your children, independent of your or your current wife, are probably feeling pain as well. Pain created by broken marriages, pain from wife 1.0, pain that maybe they aren't as important to you as your new wife is, and unimagined pains that may or may not make any sense to a seasoned adult. Bottom line, you're all in pain, you're all suffering but having an open/honest/heartfelt conversation is a great way to start the empathy train rolling in all directions.
You mean I should be listening to the sound of my TV with more than just the volume that comes out of it?
When watching football, does the sound bar make it sound like a linebacker is going to crush you from the blind side?
I think so, but sounds like you have bigger things to worry about these days, gb.
