GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

[Henry Ford]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

I don't remember any monkeys doing that in Silence of the Lambs.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

I don't remember any monkeys doing that in Silence of the Lambs.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

I don't remember any monkeys doing that in Silence of the Lambs.

Director's cut.

 

[Henry Ford]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

I don't remember any monkeys doing that in Silence of the Lambs.

Director's cut.

Jonathan Demme is so weird.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Trying to convince my mother in law that the army guy widower with a 4 year old daughter who's living with his mom in Nigeria while he's stationed in the Sudan who randomly friended her out of the blue on Facebook is a scam artist sure is fun

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Week recap?

That little huh?

A few items:

*** My older son finally came to his senses, apologized and is now out of the dog house. (Unrelated note: The kid is now 5'10" and wears a size 12 shoe, at 14)

*** His sister continues to act like a mini version of my ex-wife (i.e. muy loco).

*** My wife and I are leaving for a week on various beaches of Florida tomorrow.

*** Dippin Dots declared bankruptcy a few years ago, but hasn't ceased to exist.

*** In a major surprise, Shuke has never eaten a form of Ice Cream (see Dippin Dots item above) sold at Riverfront Stadium.

*** Tanner is doing his best Mark Harmon impression (no, not the Ted Bundy role).

Not sure your family deserves half of the update topics.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

Week recap?

That little huh?

A few items:

*** My older son finally came to his senses, apologized and is now out of the dog house. (Unrelated note: The kid is now 5'10" and wears a size 12 shoe, at 14)

*** His sister continues to act like a mini version of my ex-wife (i.e. muy loco).

*** My wife and I are leaving for a week on various beaches of Florida tomorrow.

*** Dippin Dots declared bankruptcy a few years ago, but hasn't ceased to exist.

*** In a major surprise, Shuke has never eaten a form of Ice Cream (see Dippin Dots item above) sold at Riverfront Stadium.

*** Tanner is doing his best Mark Harmon impression (no, not the Ted Bundy role).

Not sure your family deserves half of the update topics.

My update, my rules.

Here are a few others, just to balance things out a bit:

*** GM's kids ate grilled crab in the back yard.

*** Krista and Mr. Krista shopped for cars, drank and cursed during the Blackhawks' loss, and petted a mountain goat on a hike.

*** Frosty drove all of his family from Minnesota to Northern Utah.

*** Osaurus likes to kayak.

 

[General Malaise]

We did enjoy a fine meal of grilled crab on Saturday. It was splendid. And on a whim, I made my dipping sauce with champagne and not white wine. Decent, but white wine is better for this.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

We did enjoy a fine meal of grilled crab on Saturday. It was splendid. And on a whim, I made my dipping sauce with champagne and not white wine. Decent, but white wine is better for this.

Champagne is better for slamming.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

The Bakersfield zoo has a solid colored zebra.

 

[General Malaise]

We did enjoy a fine meal of grilled crab on Saturday. It was splendid. And on a whim, I made my dipping sauce with champagne and not white wine. Decent, but white wine is better for this.

Champagne is better for slamming.

Yeah, that's true. And I did a little slamming later. Hot out here. Frigging 94 today. I feel like I'm on the surface of the sun.

 

[General Malaise]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

The Bakersfield zoo has a solid colored zebra.

I always wondered....why don't they race zebras? Would they bite the jockeys? Seems like outrunning lions would make you faster than just running with a small guy whipping you.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Sea lion almost drowns man during photo op

It wasn't even a Sea Leopard of Death

Wow.

Reminds me of something I learned the other day.

Do you know why scuba divers fall backwards from the boat into the water?

Spoiler

. Because if they fell forward they'd still be in the boat.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

Don't recall much semen

I had to spend 3 days observing lion tailed macaques at the Jackson, MS zoo as part of a sociology class. Probably my most favorite academic project ever. There were two males and one female. The dominant male would have his way with the female anytime he wanted. When he was done, the subservient male would try to mount the female and the dominant male would race over, knock him off her and then take over like a good relief pitcher. The subservient male would then slink off to a corner, whack off in his hand and eat it. I think they found me to be curious too and would give me all sorts of sideways looks, like the 7-11 clerk that knew I was going to shoplift from him.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

We did enjoy a fine meal of grilled crab on Saturday. It was splendid. And on a whim, I made my dipping sauce with champagne and not white wine. Decent, but white wine is better for this.

Champagne is better for slamming.

Yeah, that's true. And I did a little slamming later. Hot out here. Frigging 94 today. I feel like I'm on the surface of the sun.

That's cute. 105 here today, Nanook.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

We did enjoy a fine meal of grilled crab on Saturday. It was splendid. And on a whim, I made my dipping sauce with champagne and not white wine. Decent, but white wine is better for this.

Champagne is better for slamming.

Yeah, that's true. And I did a little slamming later. Hot out here. Frigging 94 today. I feel like I'm on the surface of the sun.

That's cute. 105 here today, Nanook.

Probably why the Salton Sea never became the tourist destination developers imagined.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Wildfowl is a tricky proposition - goose and duck, especially. The skin is so oily. The only time I had wild goose (not "wild" goose, but one that was actually taken in the wild) that I enjoyed it was stuffed with apples. For some reason, that seemed to draw the grease out of the meat where you didn't need 50 gallons of gravy to mask the taste.

Quail, mourning dove, and pheasant are all fine wild. Turkey is, too, if you keep in mind it's nothing like the steroid freaks sold by Butterball and the like.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

He's a crazy thought...

Maybe we could domesticate and selectively breed some sort of fowl so that they provide a substantial amount of tasty meat! Someday, someday.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Also likely doing a 24 hr drive later this year. And it was my stupid idea that I now don't wish to follow through on, but there's no way I'm backing out of it with my wife on record that it's a bad idea.

 

[Annyong]

My Dad wanted me to try some alligator balls in Florida.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

My Dad wanted me to try some alligator balls in Florida.

They put up a fight?

 

[Annyong]

My Dad wanted me to try some alligator balls in Florida.

They put up a fight?

I was like 8 so there was no way o was putting alligator nuts in my mouth. Now that I'm 31 I'm not afraid of no balls

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

The Bakersfield zoo has a solid colored zebra.

I don't think that's the preferred terminology anymore.

 

[General Malaise]

Alligator tails are delicious. Never attempted a ball.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

My Dad wanted me to try some alligator balls in Florida.

They put up a fight?

I was like 8 so there was no way o was putting alligator nuts in my mouth. Now that I'm 31 I'm not afraid of no balls

"I ain't got nothin' 'gainst no Viet Balls"?

 

[bostonfred]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

Don't recall much semen

I had to spend 3 days observing lion tailed macaques at the Jackson, MS zoo as part of a sociology class. Probably my most favorite academic project ever. There were two males and one female. The dominant male would have his way with the female anytime he wanted. When he was done, the subservient male would try to mount the female and the dominant male would race over, knock him off her and then take over like a good relief pitcher. The subservient male would then slink off to a corner, whack off in his hand and eat it. I think they found me to be curious too and would give me all sorts of sideways looks, like the 7-11 clerk that knew I was going to shoplift from him.

lion in the grass playing with macaque.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Remember when Dippin Dots were the treat of the future?

I've never had them.

 

[shuke]

Ran the Lincoln Park Zoo 5k yesterday and stayed to get day drunk with my brother. Went and got brunch at Carriage House in Wicker Park and then across the street to Bangers and Lace for like 30 beers. Was in bed by 7pm. Good times.

What kind of animals did you see at the zoo?

Saw a zebra and a bunch of monkeys during the run. The zebra just stood there. The monkeys were doing monkey things.

Jacking off and throwing their semen at you like in Silence of the Lambs?

Don't recall much semen

Interesting you said "much" and not "any".

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

http://i.imgur.com/o9LRhwD.jpg

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Still never had them.

They're terrible.

 

[tommyboy]

Its the future, dippin dots, and you still suck.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Who designed this bathroom? This is the worst placed hand dryer in the world; http://i.imgur.com/n4Zc7JE.jpg

 

[UOFI_316]

Had a late morning meeting that I went to with my boss. On the way back he offers to buy lunch so he starts rattling off the places on the way back. We decide to go to Rock Bottom Brewery, as he pulls into the parking lot we go past Twin Peaks and had to have this conversation with him

Boss (a very churchy catholic): Twin Peaks, that must be new, want to try it?

Me: That is the place that just had the motorcycle shoot out in Texas a few weeks ago.

Boss :

Me: It is also a Hooters knock off

Boss

Me: What do you think the Twin Peaks are?

Boss: OH!! So Rock Bottom then. Good thing you told me, wouldn't want to take a client there.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Repressed Catholic choosing Rock Bottom over Twin Peaks sounds about right.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Repressed Catholic choosing Rock Bottom over Twin Peaks sounds about right.

After reading the story, I just assumed his boss was a priest.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Had a late morning meeting that I went to with my boss. On the way back he offers to buy lunch so he starts rattling off the places on the way back. We decide to go to Rock Bottom Brewery, as he pulls into the parking lot we go past Twin Peaks and had to have this conversation with him

Boss (a very churchy catholic): Twin Peaks, that must be new, want to try it?

Me: That is the place that just had the motorcycle shoot out in Texas a few weeks ago.

Boss :

Me: It is also a Hooters knock off

Boss

Me: What do you think the Twin Peaks are?

Boss: OH!! So Rock Bottom then. Good thing you told me, wouldn't want to take a client there.

How this should have gone:

Boss: Twin Peaks, that must be new, want to try it?

You: Let's do it.

 

[Tiger Fan]

I want to take a road trip

Want to help me move my daughter down to Nashville next month? I could use a few more helpers.

All the Miller Lite and pizza you can eat and drink

She going for her music?

 

[El Floppo]

Repressed Catholic choosing Rock Bottom over Twin Peaks sounds about right.

 

[General Malaise]

Hazel attends daycare school three days a week and while we really like this little school, it's got some typical Portland quirks. The director is a flaming gay guy named Gordon, who is very good at his job. One of Hazel's teachers is a person named Elliott. After 6 months, I'm not sure if Elliott is male or female. Elliott is, however, exceptional handling Hazel, who can be a bit....drunk inducing. Anyhow, another teacher at the school had her baby. I know because Gordon sent out a mass email with lots of !!!! attached. Teacher Shelia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named......

Noah.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Portland sure sounds like a neat country

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Hazel attends daycare school three days a week and while we really like this little school, it's got some typical Portland quirks. The director is a flaming gay guy named Gordon, who is very good at his job. One of Hazel's teachers is a person named Elliott. After 6 months, I'm not sure if Elliott is male or female. Elliott is, however, exceptional handling Hazel, who can be a bit....drunk inducing. Anyhow, another teacher at the school had her baby. I know because Gordon sent out a mass email with lots of !!!! attached. Teacher Shelia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named......

Noah.

I believe the Director's name is Gordawn.

 

[El Floppo]

Hazel attends daycare school three days a week and while we really like this little school, it's got some typical Portland quirks. The director is a flaming gay guy named Gordon, who is very good at his job. One of Hazel's teachers is a person named Elliott. After 6 months, I'm not sure if Elliott is male or female. Elliott is, however, exceptional handling Hazel, who can be a bit....drunk inducing. Anyhow, another teacher at the school had her baby. I know because Gordon sent out a mass email with lots of !!!! attached. Teacher Shelia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named......

Noah.

sounds like a great school.

fwiw- our large public school principal is also openly gay... thank god. as a former actor, he fights and pushes for a ton of arts there that wouldn't ever happen without him.

 

[Osaurus]

The Keep Portland Weird slogan might be grossly understated.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Wait....Noah is a weird name?

 

[El Floppo]

Wait....Noah is a weird name?

I think he's saying it's a weird name for a girl.

 

[Mr.Pack]

I want to take a road trip

Want to help me move my daughter down to Nashville next month? I could use a few more helpers.

All the Miller Lite and pizza you can eat and drink

She going for her music?

Yes.

Plan is to form a band and start playing out. But she also has a bead on a studio engineer job, and a couple other options.

She knows just trying to get into music without a fallback is stupid.

 

[General Malaise]

Hazel attends daycare school three days a week and while we really like this little school, it's got some typical Portland quirks. The director is a flaming gay guy named Gordon, who is very good at his job. One of Hazel's teachers is a person named Elliott. After 6 months, I'm not sure if Elliott is male or female. Elliott is, however, exceptional handling Hazel, who can be a bit....drunk inducing. Anyhow, another teacher at the school had her baby. I know because Gordon sent out a mass email with lots of !!!! attached. Teacher Shelia gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named......

Noah.

sounds like a great school.

fwiw- our large public school principal is also openly gay... thank god. as a former actor, he fights and pushes for a ton of arts there that wouldn't ever happen without him.

It is a great school.

 

[General Malaise]

Wait....Noah is a weird name?

I think he's saying it's a weird name for a girl.

Seems like it belongs to bearded man piloting a large boat, but yeah, I thought Noah for a girl was a tad....askew.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

He's a crazy thought...

Maybe we could domesticate and selectively breed some sort of fowl so that they provide a substantial amount of tasty meat! Someday, someday.

YOU'LL KILL US ALL!!!!

 

[Thorn]

Do Gordon and Gordawn rhyme?