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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (15 Viewers)

If it's been mentioned, I missed it. But if she often joins you there, is there an easy way to get her to the beach house other than your having to drive there? Bring her to you instead of going to her.

 
shuke said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Captain Quinoa said:
5-ish Finkle said:
Dan Lambskin said:
Both wrists are broken? What's the butt wiping situation gonna be like? You guys have to help with that?
Click to expand...
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"
Click to expand...
Free shipping!
Click to expand...
I like the ### hole waterpik. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00891BQC8?psc=1
Click to expand...
I may actually buy this.
Click to expand...
I can;t imagine ice cold water being shot up my ###.

 
Mr.Pack said:
shuke said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Captain Quinoa said:
5-ish Finkle said:
Dan Lambskin said:
Both wrists are broken? What's the butt wiping situation gonna be like? You guys have to help with that?
Click to expand...
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"
Click to expand...
Free shipping!
Click to expand...
I like the ### hole waterpik. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00891BQC8?psc=1
Click to expand...
I may actually buy this.
Click to expand...
I can;t imagine ice cold water being shot up my ###.
Click to expand...
I can. Sounds awesome. :lmao:

 
kevzilla said:
Mr.Pack said:
shuke said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Captain Quinoa said:
5-ish Finkle said:
Dan Lambskin said:
Both wrists are broken? What's the butt wiping situation gonna be like? You guys have to help with that?
Click to expand...
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick!"
Click to expand...
Free shipping!
Click to expand...
I like the ### hole waterpik. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00891BQC8?psc=1
Click to expand...
I may actually buy this.
Click to expand...
I can;t imagine ice cold water being shot up my ###.
Click to expand...
I can. Sounds awesome. :lmao:
Click to expand...
Related

 
Anyone want to fax my wife a punch in the face for me?

I read to Charlie every night before bed. He loves it and always asks for 2 books. Bedtime has never been a problem because I can always goad him with reading books. Well tonight he didn't put his cars away for like 10 minutes. I told him he wouldn't get to read books if he didn't. Lo and behold he was a #### and said "No, you put cars away". Alright then, I put the cars away and he freaks because he knows he's not getting a book. After much screaming and crying I put him to bed without reading to him. Not 5 minutes later she goes up there and gets him calmed down....by reading him a ####### book. We were about to watch American Sniper and she said "I can't concentrate if he's just going to cry the whole time." Way to usurp daddy in the midst of a teaching moment.

I had some sunburn after golfing on Fathers Day. She hands me this spray and says "We're out of aloe. Use this." She's got a bunch of crap so I put it on and am instantly soothed and haven't had any issues since (I've got GM type skin and need SPF 100). Come to find out she made it at an essential oils party she went to. I pretty much have to tell her it didn't work even though it was glorious. Am I going to marry a dude now?

 
Last edited by a moderator:
strykerpks said:
Anyone want to fax my wife a punch in the face for me?

I read to Charlie every night before bed. He loves it and always asks for 2 books. Bedtime has never been a problem because I can always goad him with reading books. Well tonight he didn't put his cars away for like 10 minutes. I told him he wouldn't get to read books if he didn't. Lo and behold he was a #### and said "No, you put cars away". Alright then, I put the cars away and he freaks because he knows he's not getting a book. After much screaming and crying I put him to bed without reading to him. Not 5 minutes later she goes up there and gets him calmed down....by reading him a ####### book. We were about to watch American Sniper and she said "I can't concentrate if he's just going to cry the whole time." Way to usurp daddy in the midst of a teaching moment.

I had some sunburn after golfing on Fathers Day. She hands me this spray and says "We're out of aloe. Use this." She's got a bunch of crap so I put it on and am instantly soothed and haven't had any issues since (I've got GM type skin and need SPF 100). Come to find out she made it at an essential oils party she went to. I pretty much have to tell her it didn't work even though it was glorious. Am I going to marry a dude now?
Click to expand...
Some of the essential oils stuff does work. Just don't let her try to be a dealer, and limit the purchases to things you know actually do something. There is a ton of hippie mumbo jumbo for a lot, ok most, of it, but I have found a few things that do work.

My wife doesn't sell essential oils anymore. I believe she's moved on to something else but I can't remember right now. I think it's bags. Not ice bags.

 
Frostillicus said:
strykerpks said:
Anyone want to fax my wife a punch in the face for me?

I read to Charlie every night before bed. He loves it and always asks for 2 books. Bedtime has never been a problem because I can always goad him with reading books. Well tonight he didn't put his cars away for like 10 minutes. I told him he wouldn't get to read books if he didn't. Lo and behold he was a #### and said "No, you put cars away". Alright then, I put the cars away and he freaks because he knows he's not getting a book. After much screaming and crying I put him to bed without reading to him. Not 5 minutes later she goes up there and gets him calmed down....by reading him a ####### book. We were about to watch American Sniper and she said "I can't concentrate if he's just going to cry the whole time." Way to usurp daddy in the midst of a teaching moment.

I had some sunburn after golfing on Fathers Day. She hands me this spray and says "We're out of aloe. Use this." She's got a bunch of crap so I put it on and am instantly soothed and haven't had any issues since (I've got GM type skin and need SPF 100). Come to find out she made it at an essential oils party she went to. I pretty much have to tell her it didn't work even though it was glorious. Am I going to marry a dude now?
Click to expand...
Some of the essential oils stuff does work. Just don't let her try to be a dealer, and limit the purchases to things you know actually do something. There is a ton of hippie mumbo jumbo for a lot, ok most, of it, but I have found a few things that do work.

My wife doesn't sell essential oils anymore. I believe she's moved on to something else but I can't remember right now. I think it's bags. Not ice bags.
Click to expand...
She is semi-smart. She would never deal....I hope. She just hosts the parties to get the free stuff.

 
strykerpks said:
Frostillicus said:
strykerpks said:
Anyone want to fax my wife a punch in the face for me?

I read to Charlie every night before bed. He loves it and always asks for 2 books. Bedtime has never been a problem because I can always goad him with reading books. Well tonight he didn't put his cars away for like 10 minutes. I told him he wouldn't get to read books if he didn't. Lo and behold he was a #### and said "No, you put cars away". Alright then, I put the cars away and he freaks because he knows he's not getting a book. After much screaming and crying I put him to bed without reading to him. Not 5 minutes later she goes up there and gets him calmed down....by reading him a ####### book. We were about to watch American Sniper and she said "I can't concentrate if he's just going to cry the whole time." Way to usurp daddy in the midst of a teaching moment.

I had some sunburn after golfing on Fathers Day. She hands me this spray and says "We're out of aloe. Use this." She's got a bunch of crap so I put it on and am instantly soothed and haven't had any issues since (I've got GM type skin and need SPF 100). Come to find out she made it at an essential oils party she went to. I pretty much have to tell her it didn't work even though it was glorious. Am I going to marry a dude now?
Click to expand...
Some of the essential oils stuff does work. Just don't let her try to be a dealer, and limit the purchases to things you know actually do something. There is a ton of hippie mumbo jumbo for a lot, ok most, of it, but I have found a few things that do work.

My wife doesn't sell essential oils anymore. I believe she's moved on to something else but I can't remember right now. I think it's bags. Not ice bags.
Click to expand...
She is semi-smart. She would never deal....I hope. She just hosts the parties to get the free stuff.
Click to expand...
That's what they all say.

 
My idiocy knows no bounds.

A lady friend owns a hair salon and won a free night at a national hotel chain from one of her vendors. Anywhere in the country. So, she texts me yesterday saying "let's use the voucher tonight". I say "where?". She names the hotel that's 5 minutes from her house (and less than 30 from mine). I'm thinking it's kind of a waste (why not save it for somewhere out of town?), but it's free right? So I'm all in - because I'm horny and our schedules don't line up too often and she ####s like a mink.

I spent a little over $500 at the hotel bar/restaurant on champagne, dinner, and buying drinks for every person in the place on a "free" night. :wall:

Nice waking up at 1:30 to the Sandra Bullock doppelganger touching me inappropriately, though.

 
strykerpks said:
Anyone want to fax my wife a punch in the face for me?

I read to Charlie every night before bed. He loves it and always asks for 2 books. Bedtime has never been a problem because I can always goad him with reading books. Well tonight he didn't put his cars away for like 10 minutes. I told him he wouldn't get to read books if he didn't. Lo and behold he was a #### and said "No, you put cars away". Alright then, I put the cars away and he freaks because he knows he's not getting a book. After much screaming and crying I put him to bed without reading to him. Not 5 minutes later she goes up there and gets him calmed down....by reading him a ####### book. We were about to watch American Sniper and she said "I can't concentrate if he's just going to cry the whole time." Way to usurp daddy in the midst of a teaching moment.

I had some sunburn after golfing on Fathers Day. She hands me this spray and says "We're out of aloe. Use this." She's got a bunch of crap so I put it on and am instantly soothed and haven't had any issues since (I've got GM type skin and need SPF 100). Come to find out she made it at an essential oils party she went to. I pretty much have to tell her it didn't work even though it was glorious. Am I going to marry a dude now?
Click to expand...
My stance is usually follow through and don't overrule each other but that usually gets trumped by whatever gets them to shut up and go the F to sleep

 
I had to sleep on my 2 year old's floor because he's a whiny little butthole. My back is sore, and we have a 1 year old's birthday party today. At least I should be able to get an all day buzz going starting around noon.

 
mr roboto said:
Frostillicus said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Aaron Rudnicki said:
bentley said:
In Chicago on 7/14 and 7/15 if anybody wants to cornhole.
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Omg I will be in Chicago then too!
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I used to work in Chicago at a department store.
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I've been to Chicago like, 11 times. Also, Minneapolis is getting a Giordanos. Pretty excited.

Begin listing pizza places in Chicago way better than Giordanos now. Go.
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Portillos.
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Uncle Mike's Van

 
Oh yeah, my garage door springs snapped the other morning. I had to run home from work to lift up the garage door so my jerk kids could go to their swimming lessons. Garage doors are heavy and cost $300 to not be heavy.

 
Annyong said:
Oh yeah, my garage door springs snapped the other morning. I had to run home from work to lift up the garage door so my jerk kids could go to their swimming lessons. Garage doors are heavy and cost $300 to not be heavy.
Click to expand...
Did you have a door company do it or something? I replaced 1 (just 1 side, not both springs) last year for like $25.

 
Rustoleum said:
Annyong said:
Oh yeah, my garage door springs snapped the other morning. I had to run home from work to lift up the garage door so my jerk kids could go to their swimming lessons. Garage doors are heavy and cost $300 to not be heavy.
Click to expand...
Did you have a door company do it or something? I replaced 1 (just 1 side, not both springs) last year for like $25.
Click to expand...
Yeah he came and replaced both springs, and also the sprocket on the motor that snapped. I'd rather not mess around with springs.

 
Uruk-Hai said:
My idiocy knows no bounds.

A lady friend owns a hair salon and won a free night at a national hotel chain from one of her vendors. Anywhere in the country. So, she texts me yesterday saying "let's use the voucher tonight". I say "where?". She names the hotel that's 5 minutes from her house (and less than 30 from mine). I'm thinking it's kind of a waste (why not save it for somewhere out of town?), but it's free right? So I'm all in - because I'm horny and our schedules don't line up too often and she ####s like a mink.

I spent a little over $500 at the hotel bar/restaurant on champagne, dinner, and buying drinks for every person in the place on a "free" night. :wall:

Nice waking up at 1:30 to the Sandra Bullock doppelganger touching me inappropriately, though.
Click to expand...
Sounds like a fun night.

 
Uruk-Hai said:
My idiocy knows no bounds.

A lady friend owns a hair salon and won a free night at a national hotel chain from one of her vendors. Anywhere in the country. So, she texts me yesterday saying "let's use the voucher tonight". I say "where?". She names the hotel that's 5 minutes from her house (and less than 30 from mine). I'm thinking it's kind of a waste (why not save it for somewhere out of town?), but it's free right? So I'm all in - because I'm horny and our schedules don't line up too often and she ####s like a mink.

I spent a little over $500 at the hotel bar/restaurant on champagne, dinner, and buying drinks for every person in the place on a "free" night. :wall:

Nice waking up at 1:30 to the Sandra Bullock doppelganger touching me inappropriately, though.
Click to expand...
How the?

 
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