GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (12 Viewers)

[Sconch]

That reminds me I was supposed to do that a couple months ago

You were supposed to leave a jug of piss in Kev's fridge?  

 

[heckmanm]

Wife2.0 asked me why I didn't smile. I thought I did, at least a little. But I was wary of having a goofy ### DL pic for the next six years so I resisted the urge to get too mirthful.

On the positive side, I now have a headshot I could send to Militia Monthly, if I was so inclined.

Our BMV doesn't allow you to smile in your DL pic.  Actually actually true.

link

 

[5-ish Finkle]

You were supposed to leave a jug of piss in Kev's fridge?  

Reading comprehension down?  It was two jugs of whizz in Kev's fridge.

So, sounds safe to assume he goes through about jug of that stuff a month.

 

[Sconch]

Our BMV doesn't allow you to smile in your DL pic.  Actually actually true.

link

Seems fascist.  

 

[heckmanm]

Seems faceist.  

I agree

 

[Limp Ditka]

It appears he's chilling his urine for 24 hours, I must assume to throw in his mimosas tomorrow morning.  

I'm much more of a bloody mary guy, so can someone punch kev in the kidneys until he pisses blood?

TIA

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Last 2 physicals they found traces of blood in my urine.  Kidney ultrasound fine.  Scoped my ####...fine.  Next step was a days worth of piss in a jug but I put it off then lost insurance coverage when I switched jobs 

Probably cost me like $1000 in copay so far for nothing.  At this point I might as well wait till 2017 and let it go towards that years deductible 

 

[Dan Lambskin]

Also took my drivers license photo today.  Looked pretty dumb but didn't care 

 

[kevzilla]

Reading comprehension down?  It was two jugs of whizz in Kev's fridge.

So, sounds safe to assume he goes through about jug of that stuff a month.

 My urine protein was high, so I have to do this to prove it isn't dangerously so. At 1350 ml after six hours, so that second three-liter jug is definitely in play.

 

[5-ish Finkle]

I'm much more of a bloody mary guy, so can someone punch kev in the kidneys until he pisses blood?

TIA

Perfect Bloody Kev:

- 3 parts Kev's urine, preferebaly bloody and maybe just shortly after he drank some Tabasco and/or Worcester.

- 2 parts vodka(Ketel One, etc.  Dealer's choice,  really )

-  1 oz. Beef Consomme

- celery stalk

 

[5-ish Finkle]

Kind of grossing myself out now.  Positive thoughts to anyone who is currently harvesting bloody urine(no matter what the real reason for it may be)

 

[El Floppo]

No, I definitely wasn't fishing for compliments. I think the fact that Washington gives you a little black and white printed temporary license makes the picture especially resemble a mugshot from one of those FBI Wanted posters that they used to have at the Post Office (they may still have them, I don't know).

My Mugshot

ok... two things:

A- this is a neckbeard. business up top, party down below. what you have is more of a... dunno... homeless sex offender arrested for trying to use home-made coupons at safeway and then pulling a knife on the cashier who asked to see your id.

2- it's SCARF weather! the happiest time of the year!

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Well, there is bacon.

This $99 buffet needs smoked salmon, not poached.  

 

[Dan Lambskin]

What are Napa Valley scrambled eggs

 

[5-ish Finkle]

What are Napa Valley scrambled eggs

If you have to ask, you can't afford.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

What are Napa Valley scrambled eggs

They cook them in wine, charge you double what everyone else charges, and then tell you how unsophisticated you are while you eat them.

 

[Limp Ditka]

They cook them in wine, charge you double what everyone else charges, and then tell you how unsophisticated you are while you eat them.

And no swallowing. You just swish them around in your mouth and spit them out.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

And no swallowing. You just swish them around in your mouth and spit them out.

You're thinking of Napa Valley Wives

 

[5-ish Finkle]

And no swallowing. You just swish them around in your mouth and spit them out.

This sounds like something you'd be asked if you wanted at the end of a massage at some B&B in Napa.

Masseuse: "Would you care for anything extra?"

You: "Extra?"

Masseuse: "You know...."afters", or what not."

You: "Ohhhh, so the ol' "Napa Valley Scrambled Egg" maneuver?  How much we talking?"

 

[mr. furley]

Wife2.0 asked me why I didn't smile. I thought I did, at least a little. But I was wary of having a goofy ### DL pic for the next six years so I resisted the urge to get too mirthful.

On the positive side, I now have a headshot I could send to Militia Monthly, if I was so inclined.

@Robbie Cooper

 

[Limp Ditka]

 

[bentley]

I'm much more of a bloody mary guy, so can someone punch kev in the kidneys until he pisses blood?

TIA

Why must we choose? I've got enough liver to share my love for Bloodies AND mimosas.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I've got enough liver to share my love for Bloodies AND mimosas.

You sure about that?

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

This sounds like something you'd be asked if you wanted at the end of a massage at some B&B in Napa.

Masseuse: "Would you care for anything extra?"

You: "Extra?"

Masseuse: "You know...."afters", or what not."

You: "Ohhhh, so the ol' "Napa Valley Scrambled Egg" maneuver?  How much we talking?"

Thank you sores!

 

[Sconch]

Giving the dog a bone

 

[Sconch]

GM's little girl?

 

[Limp Ditka]

GM's little girl?

Thought she was going to piss on it.

 

[General Malaise]

GM's little girl?

 

[Sconch]

gentrifying

 

[General Malaise]

gentrifying

 

 

[El Floppo]

gentrifying

I know that place. and that cat.

gentrifying ### ##### is the name of my public enemy yo' bum the rush the show album tribute band.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

gentrifying

That's awesome.

And people who post reviews like that on Yelp are the worst.

 

[El Floppo]

less than a day, star the bodega cat is a celeb and could give no ####s.

 

[Sconch]

less than a day, star the bodega cat is a celeb and could give no ####s.

That's a pretty awesome cat.

 

[El Floppo]

the wife's "if we win the lottery" 1st project... other than buying herself lots of ####... has always been to start an outreach vet service for all the bodega cats. star would be the poster-cat for this service.

most of them are pretty sad cases... poking heads out when they think nobody's looking. but there are a lot of them that rule the roost- like star (probably more a case of the how ####ty the workers/owners of the stores are than what type of personalities the cats have). there was one that used to be the mayor of st marks just off of tompkin sq park... roaming the sidewalk in front of the store and always there. so much so that when it died, there were a couple of articles about it in the major local news- and everybody in the hood knew exactly what cat they were talking about.

 

[Sconch]

there was one that used to be the mayor of st marks just off of tompkin sq park... roaming the sidewalk in front of the store 

Was he checking his stash by the trash?

 

[Sconch]

And for a second I thought you were going to say "if we win the lottery, my wife wants to open up a bodega". 

 

[Sconch]

Worst home decorating trend since the "American-geese-ducks" thing from the early 90s?

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I do hate the whole Live, Laugh, Love thing.

 

[mr. furley]

Worst home decorating trend since the "American-geese-ducks" thing from the early 90s?

"worst"

 

[Sconch]

I do hate the whole Live, Laugh, Love thing.

My wife has a couple of small ones in the bathroom "smile" "laugh" and I can't remember what else.  Maybe "wipe your ###".

 

[tommyboy]

Worst home decorating trend since the "American-geese-ducks" thing from the early 90s?

Yes

 

[tommyboy]

If I win the lottery I'm blowing $2 mil on crap then putting the rest of it into low yield safe investments and living off the interest.

:Boring:

 

[5-ish Finkle]

That's awesome.

And people who post reviews like that on Yelp are the worst.

What people who write those reviews don't pause to think about:  Bodega cat=Dead bodega rat.  

Ask yourself this, "Diane D."; Which would you rather find in your falafel: An Angora hair or rodent excrement?  I'll hang up and listen to your reply

 

[-fish-]

If I win the lottery I'm blowing $2 mil on crap then putting the rest of it into low yield safe investments and living off the interest.

:Boring:

Weird that you choose to have boring fantasies.  "That chick is so hot!  I'd love to try to hit on her and get shot down."  

 

[Dan Lambskin]

If I won some huge lottery I'd start my own horse racing stable and let the FFA pick the shtickiest names possible 

OhHelloShuke

Hawkscreech 

Is It Pee

Supplies

 

[El Floppo]

I'd open a bodega

 

[tommyboy]

Weird that you choose to have boring fantasies.  "That chick is so hot!  I'd love to try to hit on her and get shot down."  

Not really. I'm married and old.

 

[tommyboy]

If I won some huge lottery I'd start my own horse racing stable and let the FFA pick the shtickiest names possible 

OhHelloShuke

Hawkscreech 

Is It Pee

Supplies

Is it pee for the win!

 

[tommyboy]

Wood be even better if he showed his dong in the winners circle.