Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums
This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (8 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Henry Ford
Footballguy
belljr
Footballguy
Osaurus
Footballguy
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
No, you don't.
And just trust me - don't google it. In the way that you shouldn't google "two girls one cup."
Last edited by a moderator:
El Floppo
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
I think everyone is missing the forest for the trees on this whole thing by focusing on the "fake news" angle rather than the "wtf is wrong with the world that people believe so many obviously bs stories?" Posters defending the lunatic shooter are outside of my comprehension.
Also, near board. No idea why it's making me post this other quote even after I posted and deleted it once already. Fun.
Maybe she knows something that you don't. Ever think of that, smart guy?
Last edited by a moderator:
yep, going during Mardi Gras week....kids get off for the week, so makes it really easy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Sure, Hillary Clinton may be running a child sex ring and John Elway may be gay lovers with Shannon Sharpe. It's all a conspiracy man.
Henry Ford
Footballguy
Sweet J
Footballguy
@bostonfred I hear you do dream interpretations. I had a particularly confusing one. Do you take requests?
Thorn
Footballguy
cosjobs
Footballguy
kevzilla
Footballguy
Sweet J
Footballguy
@bostonfred
So, the dream (it's been like 4 hours since I woke up, and I'm already starting to lose details)
I'm at a large conference. Huge. As part of the conference there are a number of "break out sessions." Except not really discussions. Maybe presentations or performances. There are thousands of people there. It's maybe at a university or something that can house a large number of people. Maybe a HUGE conference center. My family is there. Wife, kids, maybe some cousins. Maybe some friends too.
I'm at one of the sessions. In front of a huge assembly hall. Maybe the size of a high school or college auditorium. Maybe holds about a thousand or so people in this session? Something like that. The session has just finished. I was involved in putting on the discussion/performance/presentation. It's not clear if I was "performing" or I was the person who was booking/producing it. No matter, it's over, and we have like an hour or two lunchbreak before the next session/performance.
I check in with my family, and have a HUGE fight with my wife. Can't remember what it was about. It probably wasn't clear in my dream anyway. But I'm angry and bummed and demoralized. We end the conversation with something like "f^ck you. No f^ck YOU" type conversation where we both end up just angry and hating the other person and wondering why we got married in the first place.
I head back to this breakout session that I was responsible for. But I'm in a f^cking funk, and I don't feel like doing anything. I hide in a side hallway and just feel sorry for myself. It's like an a half hour into the one hour session when my friend, who's been helping me put this thing together, finds me. (Quick aside, this friend who's been helping me is someone who I've had a romantic connection with at some point in my life. Curiously, she is appearing as a man in my dream. So confused). Anyway, my friend pulls up a facebook or instagram type app that shows a list of performers who are on call who can immediately come in and put on a performance for the group I am responsible for.
Unfortunately, the only person available is a comedian, who's act is. . . . well, he's dressed in a bumblebee outfit and comes on stage and tells racist jokes, and he goes by the name of "Tom the Antisemitic Bug." I debate with my friend for a few minutes about whether or not we are desparate enough to book Tom the Antisemitic Bug to come perform for my audience, or we should just take the zero and deal with the consequences.
Ultimately, I decide that I'd rather take it on the chin than book Tom the Antisemetic Bug to perform for my audience. So I decide that I would do the performance myself, and I would do a comedy routine. (which I'm not prepared for and have NO ACT WHATSOEVER). But I think maybe I can wing it. And, by the way, people in the audience are pissed. Close to furious. They've paid all this money and now they are waiting and WHERE IS EVERYONE! Someone tried to placate the bunch by ordering pizza for the audience, but that just means they are eating pizza instead of listening to me. So I'm up there, trying to do a comedy bit, but it's not really funny because I'm not prepared, and half the audience has left, and the people that are there are only kind of listening because they are eating pizza. And my friend is backstage encouraging me on, trying to be helpful, but really, I'm just alone, trying to salvage some sort of f^cking pride out of this complete disaster.
And then I woke.
SO . . . . . . work your magic, man.
So, the dream (it's been like 4 hours since I woke up, and I'm already starting to lose details)
I'm at a large conference. Huge. As part of the conference there are a number of "break out sessions." Except not really discussions. Maybe presentations or performances. There are thousands of people there. It's maybe at a university or something that can house a large number of people. Maybe a HUGE conference center. My family is there. Wife, kids, maybe some cousins. Maybe some friends too.
I'm at one of the sessions. In front of a huge assembly hall. Maybe the size of a high school or college auditorium. Maybe holds about a thousand or so people in this session? Something like that. The session has just finished. I was involved in putting on the discussion/performance/presentation. It's not clear if I was "performing" or I was the person who was booking/producing it. No matter, it's over, and we have like an hour or two lunchbreak before the next session/performance.
I check in with my family, and have a HUGE fight with my wife. Can't remember what it was about. It probably wasn't clear in my dream anyway. But I'm angry and bummed and demoralized. We end the conversation with something like "f^ck you. No f^ck YOU" type conversation where we both end up just angry and hating the other person and wondering why we got married in the first place.
I head back to this breakout session that I was responsible for. But I'm in a f^cking funk, and I don't feel like doing anything. I hide in a side hallway and just feel sorry for myself. It's like an a half hour into the one hour session when my friend, who's been helping me put this thing together, finds me. (Quick aside, this friend who's been helping me is someone who I've had a romantic connection with at some point in my life. Curiously, she is appearing as a man in my dream. So confused). Anyway, my friend pulls up a facebook or instagram type app that shows a list of performers who are on call who can immediately come in and put on a performance for the group I am responsible for.
Unfortunately, the only person available is a comedian, who's act is. . . . well, he's dressed in a bumblebee outfit and comes on stage and tells racist jokes, and he goes by the name of "Tom the Antisemitic Bug." I debate with my friend for a few minutes about whether or not we are desparate enough to book Tom the Antisemitic Bug to come perform for my audience, or we should just take the zero and deal with the consequences.
Ultimately, I decide that I'd rather take it on the chin than book Tom the Antisemetic Bug to perform for my audience. So I decide that I would do the performance myself, and I would do a comedy routine. (which I'm not prepared for and have NO ACT WHATSOEVER). But I think maybe I can wing it. And, by the way, people in the audience are pissed. Close to furious. They've paid all this money and now they are waiting and WHERE IS EVERYONE! Someone tried to placate the bunch by ordering pizza for the audience, but that just means they are eating pizza instead of listening to me. So I'm up there, trying to do a comedy bit, but it's not really funny because I'm not prepared, and half the audience has left, and the people that are there are only kind of listening because they are eating pizza. And my friend is backstage encouraging me on, trying to be helpful, but really, I'm just alone, trying to salvage some sort of f^cking pride out of this complete disaster.
And then I woke.
SO . . . . . . work your magic, man.
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Did you work the Ovaltine bit in, Bania?
heckmanm
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
mr. furley
Footballguy
home from work today. half watching tv, half tinkering with different projects.
watching one of those forensic crime docs.
girl gets murdered, police wind up tracking a suspect trying to get his DNA.. he's purposefully avoiding using utensils, picks up his own hair, etc.
he finally slips up, police arrest him with a couple minutes left in the show............ @netnalp
watching one of those forensic crime docs.
girl gets murdered, police wind up tracking a suspect trying to get his DNA.. he's purposefully avoiding using utensils, picks up his own hair, etc.
he finally slips up, police arrest him with a couple minutes left in the show............ @netnalp
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Forensic Files and Nightmare Next Door both had episodes about him. Netnalp's thread was an interesting read.
bostonfred
Footballguy
Let's start with the good news. You're probably not that anti semitic. And a little gay is normal these days anyways which should be a relief.
The other good news, I guess, is that your feelings are really, really normal.
Let's look at this in chunks.
I'm in charge. Ok maybe not totally in charge, but I'm in charge of something. It might not be as much as I thought. But I'm in charge of part of some bigger thing which sometimes I honestly don't find important enough to remember.
Raise your hand if you haven't felt that.
I'm supposed to.have done something. I didn't do it I need to fix it. This is stressing me out.
Again, totally normal.
I'm mad at my wife. I question our marriage. I feel like some of the things that are screwed up in my life are because I married her. I suspect she feels the same.
The only people who don't still have their hands raised are the ones who are afraid their wife will see it.
I have an old romantic interest I still think about And old friends. And family I guess. I miss that and always feel like they're watching me succeed or fail even when I haven't seen them every day.
If your arm is getting sore you can put your hand down now. I think we get the point.
The things I was supposed to have done by now - I can still do them. Even the ones that aren't my job. I could do a totally different job even. I mean I could be a comedian if this racist hack can do it.
This is important.
I want you to think about this line you wrote: And my friend is backstage encouraging me on, trying to be helpful, but really, I'm just alone, trying to salvage some sort of f^cking pride out of this complete disaster.
This isn't about a comedy show. This is how you feel about your life. You feel like you're meanderong along, doing the wrong things while your friends and family watch and people complain that you're never quite good enough and you see these idiots with jobs you could totally do and you think hey I'm going to do this but then blam, your fear of failure kicks in and you start thinking about how you could have done this you just didn't have time to prepare and now other people are trying to help by giving away pizza or smoothing things over for you and here you are sad because you could have done this if you'd tried harder and if you'd known you were supposed to and so on.
No one told you when to run... you missed the starting gun... - Pink Floyd
There's a name for what you're starting to feel. It's called a mid life crisis. It's something you used to joke about with old dudes with combovers buying sports cars and trying to hook up with younger women. It's not a joke. These are real feelings reaching a boiling point.
You need to sit down and think about what you want out of life. If you continue with your career until you retire will you regret it? Will you feel like you wasted your life? What is missing? The first thing most guys look at is their marriage, but there are other things to consider. People who regret their marriages sometimes find out that while the relationship had issues, the other stuff was what was really causing you to be unhappy, and if you could fix that you might find the relationship stuff suddenly gets a lot better.
Did you pick the wrong hobbies? Is there somethimg else you else you'd gotten good at and now it's too late to start? Do you wish you'd tried living somewhere else for a while? Learned to cook? Owned a small business?
Imagine you're 80, 90 years old, and sweet j is now old bitter j. What will you most regret as you sit alone in your recliner with your thoughts most days, your old friends gone, your family only occasionally stopping by to see you? Aside from old romantic interests that you wish were dudes, who are the people you eish were around in your dream? Have you reached out to them recently?
It's time to do.some big picture evaluation of your life and figure out what you want from it. Nobody can answer that for you but from your dream it sounds like you want less administration, more fun. Less wife and ex girlfriend. More dudes. Less Jews. More pizza. Or something like that.
The other good news, I guess, is that your feelings are really, really normal.
Let's look at this in chunks.
I'm in charge. Ok maybe not totally in charge, but I'm in charge of something. It might not be as much as I thought. But I'm in charge of part of some bigger thing which sometimes I honestly don't find important enough to remember.
Raise your hand if you haven't felt that.
I'm supposed to.have done something. I didn't do it I need to fix it. This is stressing me out.
Again, totally normal.
I'm mad at my wife. I question our marriage. I feel like some of the things that are screwed up in my life are because I married her. I suspect she feels the same.
The only people who don't still have their hands raised are the ones who are afraid their wife will see it.
I have an old romantic interest I still think about And old friends. And family I guess. I miss that and always feel like they're watching me succeed or fail even when I haven't seen them every day.
If your arm is getting sore you can put your hand down now. I think we get the point.
The things I was supposed to have done by now - I can still do them. Even the ones that aren't my job. I could do a totally different job even. I mean I could be a comedian if this racist hack can do it.
This is important.
I want you to think about this line you wrote: And my friend is backstage encouraging me on, trying to be helpful, but really, I'm just alone, trying to salvage some sort of f^cking pride out of this complete disaster.
This isn't about a comedy show. This is how you feel about your life. You feel like you're meanderong along, doing the wrong things while your friends and family watch and people complain that you're never quite good enough and you see these idiots with jobs you could totally do and you think hey I'm going to do this but then blam, your fear of failure kicks in and you start thinking about how you could have done this you just didn't have time to prepare and now other people are trying to help by giving away pizza or smoothing things over for you and here you are sad because you could have done this if you'd tried harder and if you'd known you were supposed to and so on.
No one told you when to run... you missed the starting gun... - Pink Floyd
There's a name for what you're starting to feel. It's called a mid life crisis. It's something you used to joke about with old dudes with combovers buying sports cars and trying to hook up with younger women. It's not a joke. These are real feelings reaching a boiling point.
You need to sit down and think about what you want out of life. If you continue with your career until you retire will you regret it? Will you feel like you wasted your life? What is missing? The first thing most guys look at is their marriage, but there are other things to consider. People who regret their marriages sometimes find out that while the relationship had issues, the other stuff was what was really causing you to be unhappy, and if you could fix that you might find the relationship stuff suddenly gets a lot better.
Did you pick the wrong hobbies? Is there somethimg else you else you'd gotten good at and now it's too late to start? Do you wish you'd tried living somewhere else for a while? Learned to cook? Owned a small business?
Imagine you're 80, 90 years old, and sweet j is now old bitter j. What will you most regret as you sit alone in your recliner with your thoughts most days, your old friends gone, your family only occasionally stopping by to see you? Aside from old romantic interests that you wish were dudes, who are the people you eish were around in your dream? Have you reached out to them recently?
It's time to do.some big picture evaluation of your life and figure out what you want from it. Nobody can answer that for you but from your dream it sounds like you want less administration, more fun. Less wife and ex girlfriend. More dudes. Less Jews. More pizza. Or something like that.
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
"More Dudes, Less Jews" sounds like an anti-Bette Midler/Barbara Streisand drag show(so, in other words, a drag show that could never, ever exist in reality).
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Don't make me start a thread for you, Doc
Thorn
Footballguy
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
El Floppo
Footballguy
update: looks like he kicked it's ### again
that's great news DL.
fu cancer. right in the keester.
I'm about to lose both my uncles to old age at either side of 90. was a good run for both, and a bit of a sad end due to old agey stuff (dementia, invalid, depression, etc, etc). I guess there's something- very small- to be said for my dad going out as a vital, youngish man at a very healthy 74... healthy, other than the ####### 3rd bout of cancer. dammit. it was on christmas eve 10 years ago, and complete surprise to me as they hadn't told us that he was even diagnosed yet. been missing him a ton lately- he never got to meet my kids. ####. :(
Sammy3469
Footballguy
I feel like @shuke has been holding this back:
http://people.com/food/onion-ring-fried-egg-burger-topping-recipe-food-hack/?xid=socialflow_twitter_greatideas/
Sammy3469
Footballguy
@shuke this is really getting old. STOP HOLDING OUT!
http://people.com/food/holiday-cookie-recipe-marshmallow-nutella-cookies/
mr. furley
Footballguy
wtmf is LeBron doing to his hair?
Rustoleum
Footballguy
Over heard at hotel bar while watching UK game:
" Do you have "Tito's Vodka? Also, I need ice that hasn't possibly touched anything else because I have ***severe*** celiac disease. And a Sprite."
(peruses the menu for 10 minutes and then loudly announces)
" I won't be ordering any food because cross-contamination could kill me."
I tried to send her a bowl of peanuts, but they didn't have any. Was that insensitive or misogynistic? Bear in mind that this was after she repeated this spiel to a second bartender, and then scooted her barstool away from her friend's plate of fish tacos.
Game was almost over when they left, but I asked the bartender for one more of whatever beer had the most gluten in it anyway. I felt it was the least I could do.
" Do you have "Tito's Vodka? Also, I need ice that hasn't possibly touched anything else because I have ***severe*** celiac disease. And a Sprite."
(peruses the menu for 10 minutes and then loudly announces)
" I won't be ordering any food because cross-contamination could kill me."
I tried to send her a bowl of peanuts, but they didn't have any. Was that insensitive or misogynistic? Bear in mind that this was after she repeated this spiel to a second bartender, and then scooted her barstool away from her friend's plate of fish tacos.
Game was almost over when they left, but I asked the bartender for one more of whatever beer had the most gluten in it anyway. I felt it was the least I could do.
5-ish Finkle
Footballguy
He has hair left?mr. furley said:
cosjobs
Footballguy
Man, I don't remember posting this. I must have been drunker than a #### riding a #### with a #### in my ####
bostonfred
Footballguy
I thought it was nice
mr. furley
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Today I Learned: Ice can be a carrier for gluten.
El Floppo
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
El Floppo
Footballguy
OrtonToOlsen
Footballguy
Is there such thing as gluten-free black ice?
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
We got it free-range, farm-road fresh up here in VT. Mother Nature is one artisan #####!
ETA: only thing we got in black...
Last edited by a moderator:
