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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (11 Viewers)

Speaking of getting old, I have developed a sweet sweet ganglion cyst on my wrist.  Looks like a *******n golf ball.  Ask Jeeves says it might just go away on its own but I have a feeling this guy is sticking around like luggage.  I must be a real treat to sleep with.

 
Just made a "Dennis Pitta Bread" joke, much to the delight of my wife and Cooper. Homage to our tedious fantasy football league. 

 
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General Malaise said:
One of the twins has stopped wearing shirts.  Vehemently tears them off when they are on, only he's my kid so he struggles with the mechanics of disrobing so he thrashes around like that drunk guy stuck in the cardboard box and it's just hilarious to watch.  At some point though he's going to have to wear shirts, otherwise he won't get any service.  Advise?
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My boy hates clothes.  Hates 'em.  

 
General Malaise said:
Speaking of getting old, I have developed a sweet sweet ganglion cyst on my wrist.  Looks like a *******n golf ball.  Ask Jeeves says it might just go away on its own but I have a feeling this guy is sticking around like luggage.  I must be a real treat to sleep with.
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I've had one, on and off for the last several years but it finally went away a year ago. I think it has something to do with the angle of your wrist the keyboard so switch it up a little

 
GroveDiesel said:
I would hire HF. But not if the other side hired krista (then I'd hire a cat).

Got to visit my wife for an hour tonight. It was like night and day compared to last weekend and the last few weeks. Pretty close to her normal self. Sounds like there's a good chance she'll be home by the weekend. Amazing what getting the right meds under supervision can do. 

Going forward the important part will be the outpatient treatment and learning how to recognize signs in the future. Thankfully, partly due to all the medications she has had for her MS and partly because she's seen the results of not taking them in her grandmother, my wife understands the value of sticking to medication. That seems to be where the battle with bipolar disorder is most often lost.
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Almost every time I see one of your posts, I know I'll like it. 

I wish you and your family the best during the Holiday season, my friend. 

Take care, 

RA 

 
5-ish Finkle said:
This is really excellent work.  

Now do it as if you also visited a brothel on the way back from dinner where you wound up dropping a couple of racks.  I'll wait....
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You mean when you did a dry run at a restaurant alone to allow you to effectively use it as a client entertainment venue and then test-marketed a fringe entertainment business for a potential future investment opportunity and/or reviewed their business model to set your own business plan for a future market-competing venture?

Edit: Sadly, this one won't work unless you make a profit pimping this year, I don't think.

 
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General Malaise said:
Speaking of getting old, I have developed a sweet sweet ganglion cyst on my wrist.  Looks like a *******n golf ball.  Ask Jeeves says it might just go away on its own but I have a feeling this guy is sticking around like luggage.  I must be a real treat to sleep with.
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I had my suspicions, but now I know for sure you're not Ben Carson.

 
Henry Ford said:
You mean when you did a dry run at a restaurant alone to allow you to effectively use it as a client entertainment venue and then test-marketed a fringe entertainment business for a potential future investment opportunity and/or reviewed their business model to set your own business plan for a future market-competing venture?

Edit: Sadly, this one won't work unless you make a profit pimping this year, I don't think.
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Interviewed potential sales personnel in an active setting to evaluate skills and experience.

 
5-ish Finkle said:
This is basically how I framed my initial missive to the hiring manager.  Since I got a call, I'm hoping that will be something that will weigh heavily in the discussion and I can leverage how the experience I've got can "add a lot of value to a less seasoned team" and "insert other buzzy marketing jargon here.  Like, maybe, groundswell.  Marketers love them someone groundswell."
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don't say less seasoned team...say in an evolving start-up.  Basically turn the negative into a positive.  

 
Henry Ford said:
You mean when you did a dry run at a restaurant alone to allow you to effectively use it as a client entertainment venue and then test-marketed a fringe entertainment business for a potential future investment opportunity and/or reviewed their business model to set your own business plan for a future market-competing venture?

Edit: Sadly, this one won't work unless you make a profit pimping this year, I don't think.
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There's still 18 days in the year.

 
Henry Ford said:
You mean when you did a dry run at a restaurant alone to allow you to effectively use it as a client entertainment venue and then test-marketed a fringe entertainment business for a potential future investment opportunity and/or reviewed their business model to set your own business plan for a future market-competing venture?
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This is precisely what I meant.  You need to start offering this as a service.  As luck would have it, I know a guy who can help you with your brand identity.

 
General Malaise said:
One of the twins has stopped wearing shirts.  Vehemently tears them off when they are on, only he's my kid so he struggles with the mechanics of disrobing so he thrashes around like that drunk guy stuck in the cardboard box and it's just hilarious to watch.  At some point though he's going to have to wear shirts, otherwise he won't get any service.  Advise?
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 Whats the problem? It is a boy without a shirt.  I can guarantee that when I get home from work either my 3yr or 6yr daughter will have no pants on (massive Homer signal) and might run outside to hug me that way.

 
General Malaise said:
Speaking of getting old, I have developed a sweet sweet ganglion cyst on my wrist.  Looks like a *******n golf ball.  Ask Jeeves says it might just go away on its own but I have a feeling this guy is sticking around like luggage.  I must be a real treat to sleep with.
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My 11 year old has one on the palm side of her wrist.  But she got hit with a line drive

 
lady at work shows up this morning, says her morning hello's. pops in the boss's office.

boss: oh my god, are you ok? your lip is swollen. did you fall??

lady: huh? my lip is swollen? 

boss: yeah, it looks like a bubble on your lip.. like you had collagen injections over the weekend.

lady: huh, i don't feel different.

boss: it's actually getting bigger right now.. like it's inflating while we talk.

lady: huh. i feel fine.

WACKYGUY: OMG! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO SOMETHING!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!  :lmao: :lmao:

lady: well, i did have some pineapple before i came in...

boss: are you allergic to pineapple?

lady: no. well, i don't think so. i've never eaten it before. i bought one of those fruit pizzas and tried it.. it was so good that i ate a few pieces.

boss: i bet you're allergic to pineapple. both your lips are swollen now. you should see a doctor.

WACKYGUY:  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: HOLY COWWWWW! IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU!!  :lmao: :lmao:  IT WOULD LOOK LIKE THAT!  :lmao: :lmao:

boss: you should get to urgent care. it's getting bad really fast.

WACKYGUY:  :lmao: :lmao: DON'T DIE!  :lmao: :lmao:  DON'T TELL THE DOCTOR YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU!  :lmao: :lmao:  JUST TELL THEM YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO GETTING PUNCHED!  :lmao: :lmao:

:mellow:

5 minutes her lips went from "that looks weird, huh" to "holy #### are those bananas on your face??"

 
mr. furley said:
lady at work shows up this morning, says her morning hello's. pops in the boss's office.

boss: oh my god, are you ok? your lip is swollen. did you fall??

lady: huh? my lip is swollen? 

boss: yeah, it looks like a bubble on your lip.. like you had collagen injections over the weekend.

lady: huh, i don't feel different.

boss: it's actually getting bigger right now.. like it's inflating while we talk.

lady: huh. i feel fine.

WACKYGUY: OMG! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO SOMETHING!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE!!!  :lmao: :lmao:

lady: well, i did have some pineapple before i came in...

boss: are you allergic to pineapple?

lady: no. well, i don't think so. i've never eaten it before. i bought one of those fruit pizzas and tried it.. it was so good that i ate a few pieces.

boss: i bet you're allergic to pineapple. both your lips are swollen now. you should see a doctor.

WACKYGUY:  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: HOLY COWWWWW! IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE!  :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU!!  :lmao: :lmao:  IT WOULD LOOK LIKE THAT!  :lmao: :lmao:

boss: you should get to urgent care. it's getting bad really fast.

WACKYGUY:  :lmao: :lmao: DON'T DIE!  :lmao: :lmao:  DON'T TELL THE DOCTOR YOUR HUSBAND PUNCHED YOU!  :lmao: :lmao:  JUST TELL THEM YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO GETTING PUNCHED!  :lmao: :lmao:

:mellow:

5 minutes her lips went from "that looks weird, huh" to "holy #### are those bananas on your face??"
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I love how WACKYGUY goes straight to the domestic abuse angle.

 
furls- you need to get fat nick to give you some prank ideas to play on wacky guy. 

you also need to film him. I'd bet even at his most benign, there's gold there.

 
right in to it without hesitation. all the women crowded around this poor lady whose face is reddening as she tries to hide her embarrassment at having an allergic reaction that's distorting her face.... and he's yelling over the top of everyone

"HEY! LOOK AT ME!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  OH MY GOD IT LOOKS LIKE (HER HUSBAND) PUNCHED YOU!  :lmao: :lmao:  DON'T DIE ON YOUR WAY TO THE DOCTOR!!  :lmao:

then, as an aside to me, except louder than everyone else who is talking to this poor lady:  "OHMYGOD! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SHE DIED!  :lmao: :lmao:  SHE'S GOING TO DIE BEFORE SHE GETS THERE! CAN YOU IMAGINE!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  "

 
mr. furley said:
right in to it without hesitation. all the women crowded around this poor lady whose face is reddening as she tries to hide her embarrassment at having an allergic reaction that's distorting her face.... and he's yelling over the top of everyone

"HEY! LOOK AT ME!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  OH MY GOD IT LOOKS LIKE (HER HUSBAND) PUNCHED YOU!  :lmao: :lmao:  DON'T DIE ON YOUR WAY TO THE DOCTOR!!  :lmao:

then, as an aside to me, except louder than everyone else who is talking to this poor lady:  "OHMYGOD! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SHE DIED!  :lmao: :lmao:  SHE'S GOING TO DIE BEFORE SHE GETS THERE! CAN YOU IMAGINE!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  "
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JFC is he a a few nuggets short of a happy meal or just and #######?

 
mr. furley said:
right in to it without hesitation. all the women crowded around this poor lady whose face is reddening as she tries to hide her embarrassment at having an allergic reaction that's distorting her face.... and he's yelling over the top of everyone

"HEY! LOOK AT ME!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  OH MY GOD IT LOOKS LIKE (HER HUSBAND) PUNCHED YOU!  :lmao: :lmao:  DON'T DIE ON YOUR WAY TO THE DOCTOR!!  :lmao:

then, as an aside to me, except louder than everyone else who is talking to this poor lady:  "OHMYGOD! CAN YOU IMAGINE IF SHE DIED!  :lmao: :lmao:  SHE'S GOING TO DIE BEFORE SHE GETS THERE! CAN YOU IMAGINE!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:  "
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SO YOU PUNCH HIM IN HIS FACE!!!!!!!!!!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: ?

 
Hawks64 said:
JFC is he a a few nuggets short of a happy meal or just and #######?
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smart guy, actually. just.... weird. naturally the kind of guy that likes to take shots at people. he thinks it's funny and that he's funny. but also it seems hysterical laughter/childish behavior is his default when he's nervous.

 
mr roboto said:
If even half of this is actually true I feel like he shouldn't have a job anymore. I mean that's some twisted ####. 
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100% true

you ever meet one of those people who says/does outrageous things and people say "that's just how he/she is :shrug: " and they brush it off?  he's that guy.

sort of like.. that guy who just got elected. after a time people just write off the things you say as "just talk".

 
mr. furley said:
100% true

you ever meet one of those people who says/does outrageous things and people say "that's just how he/she is :shrug: " and they brush it off?  he's that guy.

sort of like.. that guy who just got elected. after a time people just write off the things you say as "just talk".
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Someone is gonna take a run at him at some point though. Maybe not in the office but out for drinks or at a ball game or somewhere. 

 
This is in the spirit of the pineapple encounter (not the allergic reaction and awful commentary part).  My wife's uncle apparently never had grapefruit in his life.  The funny thing is he worked in a produce department at a grocery store for a long time.  So we're out at dinner one night and he gets fish with the standard lemon wedge.  He proceeds to eat it and shows the predictable facial expressions.  He then tells all of us he can't understand why people like these things.  Good times.

 
OMG COULD YOU IMAGINE MAKING EGGS SHAPED LIKE A BIG DONG?  YOU COULD SERVE THEM TO YOUR GRANDMA OR MOTHER IN LAW. COULD YOU IMAGINE?  IF THEY DIDNT LIKE IT YOU COULD HIT THEM IN THE FACE

 
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