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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (10 Viewers)

mr. furley said:
Binky The Doormat said:
Errors don't count as hit man.  
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when i was....... 7?  our coach passed us a slip of paper with our batting average on it after the season's last game.  ####er gave me a slip that said i batted .187

not my slip :hot:

GUESS WHO LEARNED WHAT 187 ACTUALLY MEANT LATER ON   :gang2:




 
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187 ...I had to look it up - just one more thing I miss out on by not listening to rap.  

Over 87% of balls in play result in an error in Little League.  

 
Help me win my survivor pool at work.  Who would you pick to win the Super Bowl (straight up, no spread) and the point total.  I got 150 racks* on the line here.

*$1 per rack

 
I think New England's defense will slow the Falcons down, but Atlanta will win the game.  Everybody thinks this will be a high scoring affair; I say it's not.  

Final score:  Atlanta 24  New England 21

 
General Malaise said:
I think New England's defense will slow the Falcons down, but Atlanta will win the game.  Everybody thinks this will be a high scoring affair; I say it's not.  

Final score:  Atlanta 24  New England 21
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My brother is with you on the under. And he's actually pretty good at betting, unlike his older sibling.

 
Oliver Humanzee said:
My wife made me do this when I went to Las Vegas last weekend.

Learned two things:

1.  Some people are very, very reluctant to tell GM to eff off, including a midget who dresses up like a leprechaun and pours creme de menth into bachelorettes' mouths at O'Shea's. 

2.  Others are weirdly enthusiastic about telling GM to eff off.

https://youtu.be/Bf2m6IssRZQ
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Hmmmm, we have different interpretations of how this came to be.  Good stuff, though.

Did @Good Posting Judge see it?  

 
I noticed this story today;

Leston Lawrence, a Royal Canadian Mint worker convicted of stealing 22 gold “pucks” by smuggling them in his rectum, was sentenced to 30 months in prison Thursday, the Ottawa Citizen reported.

“I’d just like to say thank you, sir, and that’s it,” Lawrence, 35, told Ontario Justice Peter Doody, who also ordered the former mint refinery operator to pay a fine of $145,900. “No further comment.”

 
burger spot for lunch

2 women working. one, probably early-mid 20s, the other... late 30s - early 40s?

younger girl is cute, friendly. pleasant to the customers. older looks like she has been through the wars. snarl on her face. bad tats. looked like she was fighting off heroin and had done a few stints in jail.

guy after guy comes in and immediately starts hitting on the old warhorse (she literally looked like a horse).  no joke, 3 guys in a row none of whom appeared to know the other.

matter of playing the odds in this case?  

 
mr. furley said:
burger spot for lunch

2 women working. one, probably early-mid 20s, the other... late 30s - early 40s?

younger girl is cute, friendly. pleasant to the customers. older looks like she has been through the wars. snarl on her face. bad tats. looked like she was fighting off heroin and had done a few stints in jail.

guy after guy comes in and immediately starts hitting on the old warhorse (she literally looked like a horse).  no joke, 3 guys in a row none of whom appeared to know the other.

matter of playing the odds in this case?  




 
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Yes, it's nature's way.  

 
Captain Quinoa said:
Talk about drawing the short straw:
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How do you know he didn't volunteer?

"Head Guy: We're pretty sure we know how he smuggled the gold out. Unfortunately, one of you is going to have to test this out by putting this gold puck up you bu..

Leroy: Aw man, I can't believe I have to do that!

Head Guy: No, Leroy, we're going to draw s..

Leroy: What a joke. I mean, how many was he putting up there anyway? Am I getting, I mean, going to have to put like 2, or 3, 3 maybe, up in there?

Head: You really don't have to d..

Leroy: /unzips pants Well, I guess if I HAVE to do it"

 
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General Malaise said:
Keep it weird, Portland.
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I need to read more Oregonlive.com

Warning: This post contains graphic language and snakes.

Next time you're trying to convince a newly goth 17-year-old not to get their ears gauged, why not tell them tale of one Ashley Glawe, a Portland resident with ear gauges and a pet python who recently became internet famous for getting her python lodged in her earlobe.

Apparently, Glawe and her pet snake Bart were just hanging out, as snakes and humans do, when Bart slithered his way through the hole in her ear.

I'll wait while you scream into a bag for ten minutes.

Turns out Bart was hanging out on her shoulders when Glawe thought he started attacking her head. "I like froze instantly," she told CNN about the nightmare event.

"If he forces his way through, he's gonna split my earlobe," Glawe said.

According to CNN, the snake wasn't attacking but "pythons just like hiding in holes."

Oh, great.

Glawe said she tried to get him out by herself but couldn't. So she said the fire department came. The fire department was unable to remove BART so instead, Glawe said she went to the emergency room, where doctors numbed her ear and lubed her and Bart up and were able to get the snake out of the hole.

And that, children, is why you never let a snake near your gauge hole.

Bart, said Glawe, is totally fine. (love that they didn't comment on how the girl was)
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