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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (14 Viewers)

I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 22 and 78 to treat me like a moped…mutual touching is allowed and I would prefer us both to be topless but I’m not gay. You do not need to make revving sounds as I'll make them faster or slower depending on how hard you twist my left ear. After a few hours I will make a little sputtering sound like I’m breaking down…I would like you to flip me on my back, give me a shameful look over and say ‘The nipples on these damn things always go out first’ and then act like you’re replacing my nipples. I’m not gay. We can do this until 4 in the morning or until we get tired.

 
Sheriff Bart said:
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 22 and 78 to treat me like a moped…mutual touching is allowed and I would prefer us both to be topless but I’m not gay. You do not need to make revving sounds as I'll make them faster or slower depending on how hard you twist my left ear. After a few hours I will make a little sputtering sound like I’m breaking down…I would like you to flip me on my back, give me a shameful look over and say ‘The nipples on these damn things always go out first’ and then act like you’re replacing my nipples. I’m not gay. We can do this until 4 in the morning or until we get tired.
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If it drives like a moped, and it revs like a moped...

 
Sheriff Bart said:
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 22 and 78 to treat me like a moped…mutual touching is allowed and I would prefer us both to be topless but I’m not gay. You do not need to make revving sounds as I'll make them faster or slower depending on how hard you twist my left ear. After a few hours I will make a little sputtering sound like I’m breaking down…I would like you to flip me on my back, give me a shameful look over and say ‘The nipples on these damn things always go out first’ and then act like you’re replacing my nipples. I’m not gay. We can do this until 4 in the morning or until we get tired.
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How much does this gig pay?

 
So I always make the travel plans.  Always account everything to the last detail.   We buy a used 30 foot rv and wife set campground reservations.  

We are about 20 miles away thinking we were right there.   We determine that she made two reservations and she printed half of each email.  

Took us an extra 75 minutes to finally find the spot.   

Margaritas never tasted so good.  

 
Sheriff Bart said:
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 22 and 78 to treat me like a moped…mutual touching is allowed and I would prefer us both to be topless but I’m not gay. You do not need to make revving sounds as I'll make them faster or slower depending on how hard you twist my left ear. After a few hours I will make a little sputtering sound like I’m breaking down…I would like you to flip me on my back, give me a shameful look over and say ‘The nipples on these damn things always go out first’ and then act like you’re replacing my nipples. I’m not gay. We can do this until 4 in the morning or until we get tired.
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:wub:

 
I just watched the latest Chris D'elia comedy special.  

What happened to that guy? Wasn't he a little funny with potential for a while?  

 
So day two of the inaugural camping trip in the class c.  

We wake up late because the dog decided in the middle of the night to jump onto our bed and wedge herself right into my ###.  Took about 30 minutes to get her off and wife almost got bit.  

So there were not many trees in our rv spot so we get the bright idea to go and check out the other reservation she made for the this weekend.  

it's 12 miles away towards the south end of Cascade Lake.  GPS is telling me it's a 30 minute trip.  

Oh yeah, did I forget to tell you she forgot the eggs and bacon? So I had peanut butter gluten free toast and grapes the size of raisins. 

Ok, so a mile into the trip, the road changes from pavement to dirt.   I'm thinking maybe this is a small patch or something being repaired due to our harsh winter this year.  Negative on that.  The eleven miles is all dirt and all I can manage is about 4 to 8 miles per hour. Ruts and small holes in the ground the entire way.

Came down a hill at 11 mph and hit a bump and a gallon jug of water flew out of the cabinet and sprayed my back.  Actually felt good.

About 6 miles in, the peanut butter and grapes hit me like a ton of bricks and I stop and make it just in time.  

The view on the drive was actually spectacular and with a mile to go, we ran into a deer munching on some plants about 12 feet off the road. Maybe the best pictures my wife has ever taken and made the whole trip worth it.

it took us 2.5 hours.  lol.  

Margarita time. 

 
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Dan Lambskin said:
My boss showed me a video of a guy getting a blow job from a carp today
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Was he touching you in a weird way while he was showing it to you?  Did he ask you to take off your shirt or send him pictures or anything?  Odd smiles or anything?

If he did, you should tell a teacher or trusted adult.  Don't wanna end up like Arnold/Dudley on that one "very special" episode of Diff'rent Strokes.

 
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El Floppo said:
shouldn't it be sleeping through the night at 2 weeks?

-shuke

eta: I've been really nostalgic for babies lately... get goofy when I see them. but #### that.
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Just saw a couple of our friends 1 year olds.  Basically had to position chairs at the edge of the deck so he didn't fall off.  Made me glad I can just turn my little monsters loose when needed

 
The parrot died years ago, but it had a good life.  I love animals and treat mine well.  Of course it had no idea the meaning of what it was saying, but people got a good laugh out of it.

 
RC94 said:
The parrot died years ago, but it had a good life.  I love animals and treat mine well.  Of course it had no idea the meaning of what it was saying, but people got a good laugh out of it.
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I assume that from everyone laughing at it he also learned how to laugh.

 
RC94 said:
Leroy Hoard said:
I assume that from everyone laughing at it he also learned how to laugh.
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I like joking around and making people laugh.  It learned how to mimic a laugh from a lot of different things.
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guy I used to work with grew up with a parrot which lived a long life- his parents would send him recordings of the thing making all kinds of sounds. my favorites were the sound of vacuum cleaner going over ceramic tile (it lived in the kitchen) and also it asking for potato chips- "want more. want more chips". freaked me out a bit that it could verbalize desire. coincidentally, that's become my code phrase to the wife for sex.

 
El Floppo said:
guy I used to work with grew up with a parrot which lived a long life- his parents would send him recordings of the thing making all kinds of sounds. my favorites were the sound of vacuum cleaner going over ceramic tile (it lived in the kitchen) and also it asking for potato chips- "want more. want more chips". freaked me out a bit that it could verbalize desire. coincidentally, that's become my code phrase to the wife for sex.
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but what's the safe word for when she's too close to choking you out with the scarf?

 
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