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GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing (14 Viewers)

-fish- said:
I am the anti-Krista (see what I did there?).  I am incapable of buying a house.

House #3:  On the market 3 days.   Asking price of $399,000.   I offered $445,000, no appraisal, no inspection and a closing date of their choosing.  I have a pre-approval letter saying I am prequalified for any amount I offer with no conditions.   They were supposed to review the offer and make a decision by 1:30 that afternoon.  Couple selling the house because they're getting divorced.  They can't even be in the same room and their agent has to talk to them separately.   He's an ER doc.  She's a PA, also ER.

Day 1:  He gets called into the ER.   Off at 11 p.m.  Supposed to make a decision and tell the agent.  He refuses.

Day 2:  Supposed to hear in the morning.   Nothing.  She works air ambulance and gets called to Spokane to deal with the school shooting.

Day 3:  I find out they are taking a lower offer because he has decided to sell it to a friend (meaning he wants to buy it back after the divorce).
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that's pretty cheap.  i think i might sell my house and head up to the PNW and buy me a house!  you guys are welcoming more californians, right?

 
So, firing up the first day at the new gig this morning after 5 straight 12-hour days of unpacking/etc/etc.  Lets see how atrophied my "pretend to be awake when you're really not" muscle is, huh?  As a bonus, I also get to keep unpacking/setting up after I get home again this evening.

Pray. For. Mojo.

 
I don't mean to be insensitive, but this story is making me laugh.

 

As Hurricane Irma charged toward Florida, officials in a county on the state’s west coast held a news conference to inform residents of mandatory evacuation orders for those most at risk.

“We just need you to be safe,” Robin DiSabatino of the Board of County Commissioners in Manatee County said at the Sept. 8 briefing. She urged those in low-lying areas and flood zones to seek higher ground and consider staying at shelters.

But for residents who were deaf or hard of hearing, the message was quite different: “Pizza,” the interpreter appeared to sign. Then, “Bear monster.”
 

County leaders told WFLA they were “in a pinch” and needed to find a sign language interpreter fast, so they turned to Marshall Greene, a lifeguard for the county’s marine rescue unit, who had a deaf older brother.

But instead of conveying the appropriate message, Greene signed incoherent nonsense like, “Help you at that time too use bear big,” according to the Bradenton Herald.
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General Malaise said:
I don't mean to be insensitive, but this story is making me laugh.

 

As Hurricane Irma charged toward Florida, officials in a county on the state’s west coast held a news conference to inform residents of mandatory evacuation orders for those most at risk.

“We just need you to be safe,” Robin DiSabatino of the Board of County Commissioners in Manatee County said at the Sept. 8 briefing. She urged those in low-lying areas and flood zones to seek higher ground and consider staying at shelters.

But for residents who were deaf or hard of hearing, the message was quite different: “Pizza,” the interpreter appeared to sign. Then, “Bear monster.”
 

County leaders told WFLA they were “in a pinch” and needed to find a sign language interpreter fast, so they turned to Marshall Greene, a lifeguard for the county’s marine rescue unit, who had a deaf older brother.

But instead of conveying the appropriate message, Greene signed incoherent nonsense like, “Help you at that time too use bear big,” according to the Bradenton Herald.
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:lmao:

 
Dan Lambskin said:
So my wife is the queen of mondegreens.  For example I just caught her singing "hurry up and bring your juice box money" (no shtick) 

Another good one is she thought the chorus to Raspberry Beret is "Rags!  Mary wore rags...the kind you find in a second hand store)

Anyway one time I was singing along to the chorus of white zombies More Human Than Human and she said " oh...thats what they're saying" 

I asked her what she thought it was and realized it must be so stupid I'll make fun of her forever.  She still refuses to tell me

Any ideas what it might be?
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Some possibilities here.

I'm partial to "Paul Newman, the human."

 
shuke said:
Wait, what?
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After Apu is injured badly, he gets a helper monkey to work for him. Always in search of new ways to be lazy, Homer decides to use his enfeebled father (who thought he was getting the monkey to eat) in order to qualify for the services of the highly trained and intelligent Mojo, whom he intends to use as a Simian slave. Mojo, however, soon realizes this, preferring Homer's sedentary lifestyle to the job he has been trained to perform. In one incident, Homer sends Mojo to steal doughnuts from a bakery and bring them back. Mojo steals the doughnuts, but then eats them himself.

All the doughnuts and other aspects of Homer's lifestyle soon take their toll, with Mojo becoming bloated and lethargic. Because of the monkey's poor health, Marge becomes upset with Homer, who tries to show her that Mojo is still agile - prompting the monkey to perform a pathetic dance that ends with the diapered animal wheezing on the floor. Not wanting to have to answer for a dead monkey, Homer returns Mojo, dropping him off anonymously at the door. The attendant, alarmed by Mojo's condition, hands him a keyboard to type what was wrong. He enters "PRAY…FOR…MOJO."

 
Keep running Abdulah for 2 yards and throwing bombs instead of hitting your elite pass catching YAC monsters on short routes stupid Caldwell 

 
House No. 4:   3 bedroom house on 5 acres with a pond, fruit trees, 30 year old blueberry bushes and grapes.   It's a zillow "Make me move" listing, meaning it isn't actually listed, but for the right price they'll sell it.  No bidding war this time.   Love the house (except for one odd feature of the floor plan, but I can live with it), and the price is high but within reason.   Will make an offer this week.

 
the rover said:
House No. 4:   3 bedroom house on 5 acres with a pond, fruit trees, 30 year old blueberry bushes and grapes.   It's a zillow "Make me move" listing, meaning it isn't actually listed, but for the right price they'll sell it.  No bidding war this time.   Love the house (except for one odd feature of the floor plan, but I can live with it), and the price is high but within reason.   Will make an offer this week.
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Write "I'll do anything" on the offer

 
the rover said:
House No. 4:   3 bedroom house on 5 acres with a pond, fruit trees, 30 year old blueberry bushes and grapes.   It's a zillow "Make me move" listing, meaning it isn't actually listed, but for the right price they'll sell it.  No bidding war this time.   Love the house (except for one odd feature of the floor plan, but I can live with it), and the price is high but within reason.   Will make an offer this week.
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Pray for mojo

 
the rover said:
House No. 4:   3 bedroom house on 5 acres with a pond, fruit trees, 30 year old blueberry bushes and grapes.   It's a zillow "Make me move" listing, meaning it isn't actually listed, but for the right price they'll sell it.  No bidding war this time.   Love the house (except for one odd feature of the floor plan, but I can live with it), and the price is high but within reason.   Will make an offer this week.
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curious what does 5 acres go for?

 
thx.  pretty nice looking house.  is the lot a weird shape or does the property line extend all/most of the way towards the houses to the east?

my wife and i talk about something like this eventually, but with even more land.  living amongst the masses has lost whatever appeal it might have ever had.

eta:  still stupid  cheap compared to something down here.

 
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DA RAIDERS said:
thx.  pretty nice looking house.  is the lot a weird shape or does the property line extend all/most of the way towards the houses to the east?

my wife and i talk about something like this eventually, but with even more land.  living amongst the masses has lost whatever appeal it might have ever had.
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What you're seeing is that the cleared area of the lot is about 1.5 acres.  The rest is just woods.   It's rectangular and goes back quite a bit further than it goes to the sides.   The closest house is to the south, behind the trees on the other side of the pond (pond is next to the red greenhouse).  There's another to the north.  To the east you go back a long way and then hit the property line on the back side of a similarly shaped lot with a house on the far side.

 
the rover said:
What you're seeing is that the cleared area of the lot is about 1.5 acres.  The rest is just woods.   It's rectangular and goes back quite a bit further than it goes to the sides.   The closest house is to the south, behind the trees on the other side of the pond (pond is next to the red greenhouse).  There's another to the north.  To the east you go back a long way and then hit the property line on the back side of a similarly shaped lot with a house on the far side.
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i'd love to have that land.  buy that house to the north and you've got the makings of a serious compound.

 
the rover said:
For 1.5M here, you could have low bank waterfront and an 85 foot dock.   
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Actually, if you don't care about going anywhere or being 30 minutes from a freeway, you could have that and 5 acres.  ####, there's one place out here where you can own pretty much half of an island for that.

 
the rover said:
Actually, if you don't care about going anywhere or being 30 minutes from a freeway, you could have that and 5 acres.  ####, there's one place out here where you can own pretty much half of an island for that.
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you should come visit for a weekend and cornhole NW style.   When I moved here from San Diego I was blown away buy what I could afford to buy.  

 
DA RAIDERS said:
cheapest 5 acre property near me is 2.8M. a few are above 4M, most are above 8M.  good times
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You have to define near you. I guess you're talking San Juan Capo, Coto de Caza, etc. About an hour and a half from you, in country that has sweet weather for avocados and wine grapes, there's some interesting properties and prices. I walked this one today after youngun's piano recital in Temecula. Nephew just bought there to stop renting in Carlsbad. I'm not impressed with urban Temecula. I'm not impressed with the "wine country" east of there. But the hills to the west, De Luz, La Cresta, part of Fallbrook... very nice for compound establishment. It's most likely where I'm headed, but family, roots, etc., really limits my thinking. 

I have five weeks to move and still no destination. Ruh roh. Still going to Hawaii in ten days too. Not buying there though.

 
Chaos Commish said:
You have to define near you. I guess you're talking San Juan Capo, Coto de Caza, etc. About an hour and a half from you, in country that has sweet weather for avocados and wine grapes, there's some interesting properties and prices. I walked this one today after youngun's piano recital in Temecula. Nephew just bought there to stop renting in Carlsbad. I'm not impressed with urban Temecula. I'm not impressed with the "wine country" east of there. But the hills to the west, De Luz, La Cresta, part of Fallbrook... very nice for compound establishment. It's most likely where I'm headed, but family, roots, etc., really limits my thinking. 

I have five weeks to move and still no destination. Ruh roh. Still going to Hawaii in ten days too. Not buying there though.
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correct.  very near me.  i don't care for temecula or most of the 15.  i've been to fall brook and it seemed nice though.

 
DA RAIDERS said:
correct.  very near me.  i don't care for temecula or most of the 15.  i've been to fall brook and it seemed nice though.
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You live in heaven, bro. That's why five acres in Tustin is 10 million. I've been on a small piece of land overlooking millions of blm acres for 13 years. I may be ready to live among the masses again. I dunno. I might make an offer on a duplex fixer here to have a place to sleep and flip while I continue failing to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

 
Chaos Commish said:
You live in heaven, bro. That's why five acres in Tustin is 10 million. I've been on a small piece of land overlooking millions of blm acres for 13 years. I may be ready to live among the masses again. I dunno. I might make an offer on a duplex fixer here to have a place to sleep and flip while I continue failing to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
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doesn't sound like too bad of a place to be really.  have fun with it.

i do love where i live, it's just the people i could do with out.  hell, tustin is on the wrong side of the 5. ;)  

 
DA RAIDERS said:
doesn't sound like too bad of a place to be really.  have fun with it.

i do love where i live, it's just the people i could do with out.  hell, tustin is on the wrong side of the 5. ;)  
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Yes, I should have italicized Tustin. My 92 year old uncle thinks I should buy in Leisure World since I'm 55. Right side of the 5!

 
Chaos Commish said:
Yes, I should have italicized Tustin. My 92 year old uncle thinks I should buy in Leisure World since I'm 55. Right side of the 5!
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I've found an awesome Indian restaurant on el toro. I have to seriously pay attention running the gauntlet through leisure world.  I usually during nap/golf time so I'm safer

 
cosjobs said:
wanna make a bet for me? What are the Astros odds to win the series?
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Hey, GB. Sorry for the delay. When I went to the window, the price on the Stros was +450, not +650 as the sheet indicated. I went ahead and bought it. If you're not interested at that price, I will totally understand. If you want it, let's figure out a time to get together. Thursday is no good, otherwise I'm flexible.

 
the rover said:
DA RAIDERS said:
cheapest 5 acre property near me is 2.8M. a few are above 4M, most are above 8M.  good times
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For 1.5M here, you could have low bank waterfront and an 85 foot dock.   
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1.5 gets you into a decent 1br here, somewhere south of 1k sf. plenty of 2br available for that price too. upstairs 2br apt that is the same floorplan as ours but without a patio went for 1.7. studios in the new building under construction across the street (and next to Katz's deli) start at 1.1. about 2k/sf.

 
kevzilla said:
Hey, GB. Sorry for the delay. When I went to the window, the price on the Stros was +450, not +650 as the sheet indicated. I went ahead and bought it. If you're not interested at that price, I will totally understand. If you want it, let's figure out a time to get together. Thursday is no good, otherwise I'm flexible.
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I'll take it, thanks.

Were we going to get together to gangbang Osaurus later this week?

 
I could never live in a place that made me immediately hear Larry King's voice in my head every time its name was uttered.

cheapest 5 acre property near me is 2.8M. a few are above 4M, most are above 8M.  good times
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This makes me want to vomit. :(

 
i ####### love football. NFL football particularly, but college and HS as well. 

put football on the tv and i'm watching. good, bad, indifferent, i'm watching.  with the advent of the internet it's become so much easier to follow the news and be an even bigger fan. it's amazing. 

but.. god dammit.. why are the fans so... terrible? and stupid?

if i have to read one more sky is falling, the whole team should be waived, all the coaches should be fired, when will the Packer ever be good, story/comment/response i am going to punch a Nazi

 
mr. furley said:
i ####### love football. NFL football particularly, but college and HS as well. 

put football on the tv and i'm watching. good, bad, indifferent, i'm watching.  with the advent of the internet it's become so much easier to follow the news and be an even bigger fan. it's amazing. 

but.. god dammit.. why are the fans so... terrible? and stupid?

if i have to read one more sky is falling, the whole team should be waived, all the coaches should be fired, when will the Packer ever be good, story/comment/response i am going to punch a Nazi
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that's interesting and different than day one.

 
Furls, if it makes you feel any better, my brother is exactly the same way about the Packers.

The closest he's ever been to Wisconsin is Branson. :lmao:  

 
This reminds me of the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.  All summer long the grasshopper collected acorns and saved them for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV.  Then winter came and the grasshopper died.  The octopus took his acorns and he got a race car too.  Do you know what I mean?

 
RC94 said:
This reminds me of the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.  All summer long the grasshopper collected acorns and saved them for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV.  Then winter came and the grasshopper died.  The octopus took his acorns and he got a race car too.  Do you know what I mean?
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You think furls is a cephalopod

 
PSA for those of you with iphones, if you install ios 11 the motion effect when you close apps made me physically ill.  

You can turn it off under settings/accessibility/reduce motion

 
RC94 said:
This reminds me of the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.  All summer long the grasshopper collected acorns and saved them for winter while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV.  Then winter came and the grasshopper died.  The octopus took his acorns and he got a race car too.  Do you know what I mean?
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My long layover in NY is next week.  Prepare your chopsticks.

 
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