Lets file this one under getting old is neat.
As I mentioned a few days ago, I haven't been feeling well. Thankfully the headaches and fever went away but my gut still hurts. I have been all locked up like never before except when I broke my neck and was taking Percs & Vics (and sometimes whiskey) 24/7 for a month. So I decided to get a little help from my local Walgreens.
The boys just got off the bus when I arrived home and so I told them to get in the car so we could pick up Cal's new meds and something for me. The boys really seemed to enjoy the dozens of concoctions available and weren't shy to make recommendations but I decided on a delicate wild cherry flavor. We then made our way to the pharmacy to pick up the script. As I completed our transaction I noticed what I'm assuming is a young Rob Lowe look alike giving me a very concerned look observing an old guy with two young boys buying a bottle of laxative and prescription pills.
We arrived home and I'm anxious to release temple of doom so I don't bother to turn on the lights to read the recommended dosage. "Adults 9-10 oz" I check the bottle, its 10 oz total. I nod my head knowingly "so 10 oz" I think, makes sense. I unscrew the cap and begin to guzzle the contents. It had a distinguished wild cherry taste as promised but it also seemed to be cut with the bitterness of someone that marriex too young. The boys roared with laughter. Cal was doubled over with tears coming out of his eyes. It wasn't easy but I finished it. In retrospect I should have recorded it for a shot video.
Mrs. SLB arrived home about an hour later and immediately noticed the empty bottle. She inquired about the whereabouts of its contents and I brought her up to date on my plans and she called me an idiot, a common and generally accurate theme in our house. That's when I turned the lights on for some very helpful information. The 9-10 oz was the maximum over a 24 hour period. Speaking of periods, deep cherry red is a bad color for a laxative. It's like I was raped by King Brownie and I'm having a long night of multiple miscarriages.