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GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

'Marvin said:
'shuke said:
Was listening to the Reds game the other day and there was a rain delay. During long rain delays the broadcast teams will take calls to talk Reds and baseball. This guy calls in and sounded like an old hillbilly, and blatantly mispronounced every name he brought up in the conversation. Referred to Scott Rolen as Scott Rolex, Zack Cozart as "that Mozart kid", Doug Flynn as Errol Flynn, etc.

Tanner shtick sweeping the nation.
I approve of this. Did he say Mike Costanza or Brian Ludwig?
Costanza was one of the other ones I couldn't remember.Wait, was that you?

 
'Marvin said:
'shuke said:
Was listening to the Reds game the other day and there was a rain delay. During long rain delays the broadcast teams will take calls to talk Reds and baseball. This guy calls in and sounded like an old hillbilly, and blatantly mispronounced every name he brought up in the conversation. Referred to Scott Rolen as Scott Rolex, Zack Cozart as "that Mozart kid", Doug Flynn as Errol Flynn, etc.

Tanner shtick sweeping the nation.
I approve of this. Did he say Mike Costanza or Brian Ludwig?
Costanza was one of the other ones I couldn't remember.Wait, was that you?
Sorry, no. I don't follow baseball. I had to look up the Reds roster just to come up with those.
 
BTW: I think I need a publicist. The local paper ran an article today about an upcoming charity trivia event. I was on the team that won last year (let's face it...I was THE team). The article mentioned that our team was the defending champs but didn't mention me by name. Ridiculous.
I'm reviewing resumes for a new attorney position on my team, and I just came across one with this as the last line: "Among most successful contestants ever on nationally televised prime time game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" If, god forbid, you ever had to interview for a job like normal people do, would you put your Jeopardy prowess on your resume?At least it's not as bad as the one I reviewed today that had a footnote in it. That was a new one for me. Only a lawyer, or David Foster Wallce, would put a footnote in a resume.
 
Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.
I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.
My link
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
BTW: I think I need a publicist. The local paper ran an article today about an upcoming charity trivia event. I was on the team that won last year (let's face it...I was THE team). The article mentioned that our team was the defending champs but didn't mention me by name. Ridiculous.
I'm reviewing resumes for a new attorney position on my team, and I just came across one with this as the last line: "Among most successful contestants ever on nationally televised prime time game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" If, god forbid, you ever had to interview for a job like normal people do, would you put your Jeopardy prowess on your resume?At least it's not as bad as the one I reviewed today that had a footnote in it. That was a new one for me. Only a lawyer, or David Foster Wallce, would put a footnote in a resume.
:lmao: at thinking I would have a resume. Thank you for that.
 
Tanner I have a new found respect for you.

Like everyone else, I usually think of you as this really old, creepy, non-attractive, bi-curious school teacher. But today I look at you differently. I spent the morning at the local high school doing a presentation in the auditorium on basic banking. Good Lord teenagers are idiots. Dumb questions, ridiculous clothing, awful haircuts and a few of them fell asleep and didn't even try to pretend to hide it and I made sure to point them out to everyone else in hopes of embarrassing them. Some of the chicks were hot, so that it made it somewhat tolerable. But man, I would not want to be a teacher and deal with teen-aged kids all day.

No offense to any of you that have teen-agers who aren't idiots. I'm sure all the GMTAN teen-agers out there are brilliant and well dressed.
I'VE BEEN TELLING PEOPLE THIS FOR YEARS!ETA: The part about kids being idiots. Not the part about me being creepy, old, and bi-curious. For the record I am no longer bi-curious.
My link
:lmao: :lmao:
 
'Marvin said:
I guess he doesn't have peanut allergies. Probably can't keep the monkey away from them now though.
'Mr.Pack said:
'Marvin said:
Listening to my wife on the phone with a customer. Obviously I can only hear one side of the conversation but if I had my wife's job I would have hung up 10 minutes ago.
Yea, dealing with the public can be a trying experience.I had a guy call me a couple weeks ago saying he bought an ink cartridge 2 years ago and just got around to putting it into his printer and it doesn't work.

Really, 2 years??? Try taking it back to OfficeMax or someplace and see what they tell you.

:wall:
:coffee:
Yea, like the bad businessman I am, I gave him a replacement.
 
'-fish- said:
Oh, and I think I hate Shuke (or is it GM?) I'm in a hotel in San Jose and I actually checked for porn under my mattress.
Still haven't found any. If I did I'm not sure I'd touch it.
 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
You can tell from the pixels.
 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
You can tell from the pixels.
:goodposting:
 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
He's no dummy, either. Stupid #### goes to Reed.
My 9 year old will be going to Reed this summer for a week of TAG camp. He's going to study alternative energy. :nerd:
 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
:no: Which part? That was definitely an episode with the naggers thing...

 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
:no: Which part? That was definitely an episode with the naggers thing...
FAKE
 
Is going on a cruise like going to Wal Mart for 5 days?

Looking at family vacation ideas and I'm shamefully considering a cruise because the built in baby sitting activities for the little ones is the most affordable option where we're not limited in our own activities because of them. The other options is to go somewhere and bring along my Mother in Law which I am NOT prepared to do at this point in time.

 
Is going on a cruise like going to Wal Mart for 5 days?

Looking at family vacation ideas and I'm shamefully considering a cruise because the built in baby sitting activities for the little ones is the most affordable option where we're not limited in our own activities because of them. The other options is to go somewhere and bring along my Mother in Law which I am NOT prepared to do at this point in time.
I've never been on one because it seems to me you're basically trapped with a bunch of people. I know the ships are huge though. Booze isn't free either, right? I'd probably just sit in the casino the whole time except for when we get to leave the ship for the day.Also, I know several "cruise people" through work or otherwise and they're mostly nutcases.

 
Krista, thanks for reminding me.

My link
I saw that episode just a couple of days ago. The dude was a goof the entire show. I thought he was being a smart-### at first, and then it hit me :shock: the dude really doesn't know it. Pat Sajak was shocked also. He didn't know how to respond after the guy missed it.
I don't watch enough Southpark, but this might be one of the funniest Wheel goofs ever.
FAKE
You can tell from the pixels.
:goodposting:
Especially since there's like 16 of them.
 
Is going on a cruise like going to Wal Mart for 5 days?

Looking at family vacation ideas and I'm shamefully considering a cruise because the built in baby sitting activities for the little ones is the most affordable option where we're not limited in our own activities because of them. The other options is to go somewhere and bring along my Mother in Law which I am NOT prepared to do at this point in time.
I've never been on one because it seems to me you're basically trapped with a bunch of people. I know the ships are huge though. Booze isn't free either, right? I'd probably just sit in the casino the whole time except for when we get to leave the ship for the day.Also, I know several "cruise people" through work or otherwise and they're mostly nutcases.
I've been on one and that's enough for me. Glad I did it, but I won't ever do it again. Not only do you have to pay for booze, but most of them make you pay for coffee and if you are a soda junkie, you pay for that too. And the most egregious thing I noted was they include 15% gratuity on all charges. They don't tell you this or if they do, I didn't hear it. A bit of warning would be nice. Because right underneath the automatic 15% gratuity is a line for an additional tip. If you are absent minded and not paying attention, you'll be tipping on top of 15%. That crap pisses me right off and I won't cruise again because of it. That's not the only reason I won't do it again, but it's a big one. You will run into the same people over and over again. We had one enormous, obnoxious, loud east coast Jewish family on our massive cruise ship that complained about everything and made a gigantic scene everywhere they went. Their kids were unruly and the grownups were even worse. They made huge messes with food and yelled at servers...just a hideous group and I won't ever subject myself to that sort of torment again. I wanted to punt the 'man' of the family overboard. He whined incessantly and I just couldn't avoid them no matter how hard I tried.

If you don't have a balcony room, your interior room will be small and cramped. The bathroom is a joke. And be prepared to tip everybody. Their hands are out and you'll get cross looks if you don't fork it over.

By the end of the trip, I had to settle out my account. I owed about $600 in booze/excursions/services. This is on top of the huge price tag I paid to go on the cruise. Screw that.

Those are the negatives....there are some positives. Seeing Alaska in a different light was pretty cool. Seeing whales and dolphins and glaciars and eagles was very cool. Having access to a casino was pretty cool, though if you are going to do an Alaskan cruise, be prepared for the casino to open and close depending on where you are in the water. Sometimes it was open and other times it was closed.

Cruise entertainment is corny, cheesy and designed for the elderly. It's where 5th rate actors go to die.

 
'Marvin said:
'Marvin said:
I've got this cartoon projected on my screen. It's at least 4ft by 4ft. Female student: "Which one is Uncle Sam?"
[slb]Can't believe you jimmies didn't laugh at that [/slb]I can't believe I forgot about the kid in first period that wasn't to clear on Uncle Sam either:

Kid: Wait, that guy in the pants is Uncle Sam?

Me: Uhhh...yeah.

Kid: I thought he was black.

Me: wat

Kid: Remember that book we talked about? The one about slavery? Uncle Sam's Cabin?
:lmao:
'-fish- said:
Hi, GMTAN.

I'm fish, and I make poor decisions with women. Or maybe they're brilliant--I'm not really sure. After a depressing down period, I'm now back up to dating four women. This is clearly not my skillset. I usually just do one train wreck at a time.

The new lineup, with some players returning:

Twenty-something with a long-distance boyfriend 1000 miles away. We have a deal that if she's still single as of Sept. 25, 2014 we're getting married. I think this may be serious. In the meantime, we keep taking trips together. Next one is to Vegas, because she likes strippers and gambling.

Knuckles. 'nuff said

33 year old trial lawyer. Met her in passing; tossed out an invitation to happy hour--she just called and set it up for Monday. She's sorta hot.

36 year old with a PhD in economics. I have no idea what she does for a living, but she seems to make boatloads of cash. Met online, went to a driving range and then drinks for a first date. She's very cute.

Went out boating/drinking with the first two in Sunday. Bad idea? Of course. Somehow I pulled it off.

I expect three of these women to hate me with a vengeance by the end of the month. Stay tuned.
Hold up now. You took Knuckles out with the twentysomethings? My notebook is awful, but -Didn't Knuckles meet the twentysomethings before and flip out? Don't they hate her? Didn't they once send her a bunch of nasty texts while you sat drunkenly by, laughing?

I admire your love of labia explosive. :popcorn:
Your notebook is right, except it was pictures of them flipping her of while holding the greeting card she sent me. I have this theory that instead of hiding the fact that I'm seeing multiple women, I bounce them off each other like pool balls and see what happens. Women are ultra-competitive when it comes to men and dating, so they start trying to out-do each other. They're willing to go boating or drinking or whatever because they don't want to be left out.

Don't try this at home unless you're willing to risk a stabbing. I have a metal detector installed at my front door like the entrance to a Compton high school.

 
Is going on a cruise like going to Wal Mart for 5 days?

Looking at family vacation ideas and I'm shamefully considering a cruise because the built in baby sitting activities for the little ones is the most affordable option where we're not limited in our own activities because of them. The other options is to go somewhere and bring along my Mother in Law which I am NOT prepared to do at this point in time.
Carnival? Yes. Others, not as much.
 
'Marvin said:
'Marvin said:
I've got this cartoon projected on my screen. It's at least 4ft by 4ft. Female student: "Which one is Uncle Sam?"
[slb]Can't believe you jimmies didn't laugh at that [/slb]I can't believe I forgot about the kid in first period that wasn't to clear on Uncle Sam either:

Kid: Wait, that guy in the pants is Uncle Sam?

Me: Uhhh...yeah.

Kid: I thought he was black.

Me: wat

Kid: Remember that book we talked about? The one about slavery? Uncle Sam's Cabin?
:lmao:
'-fish- said:
Hi, GMTAN.

I'm fish, and I make poor decisions with women. Or maybe they're brilliant--I'm not really sure. After a depressing down period, I'm now back up to dating four women. This is clearly not my skillset. I usually just do one train wreck at a time.

The new lineup, with some players returning:

Twenty-something with a long-distance boyfriend 1000 miles away. We have a deal that if she's still single as of Sept. 25, 2014 we're getting married. I think this may be serious. In the meantime, we keep taking trips together. Next one is to Vegas, because she likes strippers and gambling.

Knuckles. 'nuff said

33 year old trial lawyer. Met her in passing; tossed out an invitation to happy hour--she just called and set it up for Monday. She's sorta hot.

36 year old with a PhD in economics. I have no idea what she does for a living, but she seems to make boatloads of cash. Met online, went to a driving range and then drinks for a first date. She's very cute.

Went out boating/drinking with the first two in Sunday. Bad idea? Of course. Somehow I pulled it off.

I expect three of these women to hate me with a vengeance by the end of the month. Stay tuned.
Hold up now. You took Knuckles out with the twentysomethings? My notebook is awful, but -Didn't Knuckles meet the twentysomethings before and flip out? Don't they hate her? Didn't they once send her a bunch of nasty texts while you sat drunkenly by, laughing?

I admire your love of labia explosive. :popcorn:
Your notebook is right, except it was pictures of them flipping her of while holding the greeting card she sent me. I have this theory that instead of hiding the fact that I'm seeing multiple women, I bounce them off each other like pool balls and see what happens. Women are ultra-competitive when it comes to men and dating, so they start trying to out-do each other. They're willing to go boating or drinking or whatever because they don't want to be left out.

Don't try this at home unless you're willing to risk a stabbing. I have a metal detector installed at my front door like the entrance to a Compton high school.
So that must have been....awkward. :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:
 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?

 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
33 year old trial lawyer. Met her in passing; tossed out an invitation to happy hour--she just called and set it up for Monday. She's sorta hot.
They might as well be married.
 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Ok, thanks. I'd drop Knuckles, keep working the FWB thing with the 20-something, and pursue new prospects at every opportunity. :banned:Edit: but I realize you're not asking for advice here.
 
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Is going on a cruise like going to Wal Mart for 5 days?

Looking at family vacation ideas and I'm shamefully considering a cruise because the built in baby sitting activities for the little ones is the most affordable option where we're not limited in our own activities because of them. The other options is to go somewhere and bring along my Mother in Law which I am NOT prepared to do at this point in time.
I've never been on one because it seems to me you're basically trapped with a bunch of people. I know the ships are huge though. Booze isn't free either, right? I'd probably just sit in the casino the whole time except for when we get to leave the ship for the day.Also, I know several "cruise people" through work or otherwise and they're mostly nutcases.
I've been on one and that's enough for me. Glad I did it, but I won't ever do it again. Not only do you have to pay for booze, but most of them make you pay for coffee and if you are a soda junkie, you pay for that too. And the most egregious thing I noted was they include 15% gratuity on all charges. They don't tell you this or if they do, I didn't hear it. A bit of warning would be nice. Because right underneath the automatic 15% gratuity is a line for an additional tip. If you are absent minded and not paying attention, you'll be tipping on top of 15%. That crap pisses me right off and I won't cruise again because of it. That's not the only reason I won't do it again, but it's a big one. You will run into the same people over and over again. We had one enormous, obnoxious, loud east coast Jewish family on our massive cruise ship that complained about everything and made a gigantic scene everywhere they went. Their kids were unruly and the grownups were even worse. They made huge messes with food and yelled at servers...just a hideous group and I won't ever subject myself to that sort of torment again. I wanted to punt the 'man' of the family overboard. He whined incessantly and I just couldn't avoid them no matter how hard I tried.

If you don't have a balcony room, your interior room will be small and cramped. The bathroom is a joke. And be prepared to tip everybody. Their hands are out and you'll get cross looks if you don't fork it over.

By the end of the trip, I had to settle out my account. I owed about $600 in booze/excursions/services. This is on top of the huge price tag I paid to go on the cruise. Screw that.

Those are the negatives....there are some positives. Seeing Alaska in a different light was pretty cool. Seeing whales and dolphins and glaciars and eagles was very cool. Having access to a casino was pretty cool, though if you are going to do an Alaskan cruise, be prepared for the casino to open and close depending on where you are in the water. Sometimes it was open and other times it was closed.

Cruise entertainment is corny, cheesy and designed for the elderly. It's where 5th rate actors go to die.
This is everything I'm afraid of.
 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Ok, thanks. I'd drop Knuckles, keep working the FWB thing with the 20-something, and pursue new prospects at every opportunity. :banned:Edit: but I realize you're not asking for advice here.
This is more backstory for the inevitable flameouts to come. I'm here for your entertainment.
 
More brilliant discourse from the paralegals sitting outside my office:

How do I know whether I live in Memphis, Bartlett or Shelby County? Because I need to get my car licensed, and when I looked online, the pricing was different for each. So how do I know which one I live in?
The conversation has been ongoing for at least 10 minutes now. No resolution has been reached.
 
More brilliant discourse from the paralegals sitting outside my office:

How do I know whether I live in Memphis, Bartlett or Shelby County? Because I need to get my car licensed, and when I looked online, the pricing was different for each. So how do I know which one I live in?
The conversation has been ongoing for at least 10 minutes now. No resolution has been reached.
Fire them.
 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Fish,My advice is next time don't pair up the two you're sleeping with. There's little to be gained here except some small amusement. Instead, pair up a new girl with a steady squeeze. Even if the new girl doesn't know you're sleeping with the squeeze, she'll feel the pressure of potential competition and measure herself up, grow self-conscious and a little desperate, leading her to up the sex ante in effort to win. Sincerely,- Screwtape.
 
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I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Ok, thanks. I'd drop Knuckles, keep working the FWB thing with the 20-something, and pursue new prospects at every opportunity. :banned: Edit: but I realize you're not asking for advice here.
Impossible. She's like a vampire at this point. When he shoots her down she just crawls under the floorboards to regenerate her powers and reappears two months later like nothing happened.

 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Ok, thanks. I'd drop Knuckles, keep working the FWB thing with the 20-something, and pursue new prospects at every opportunity. :banned: Edit: but I realize you're not asking for advice here.
Impossible. She's like a vampire at this point. When he shoots her down she just crawls under the floorboards to regenerate her powers and reappears two months later like nothing happened.
I love knuckles. She's one of the best supporting characters in GMTAN stories ever. IMO, she ranks up their with Destiny, Hock Meng Tay and that cat that used to email Krista.
 
I'm having trouble following, since I think fish's definition of dating might be different than my own. How many of these girls are you sleeping with?
2. The other two are works in progress.
Ok, thanks. I'd drop Knuckles, keep working the FWB thing with the 20-something, and pursue new prospects at every opportunity. :banned: Edit: but I realize you're not asking for advice here.
Impossible. She's like a vampire at this point. When he shoots her down she just crawls under the floorboards to regenerate her powers and reappears two months later like nothing happened.
I love knuckles. She's one of the best supporting characters in GMTAN stories ever. IMO, she ranks up their with Destiny, Hock Meng Tay and that cat that used to email Krista.
I think I missed this one.
 

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