Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
That's just because you bore me to sleepEdit: Look into HDTV, I hear it's pretty cool.
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GM's thread about nothing (69 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Notorious T.R.E.
Showdown!™ Administrator
40oz?
Guster
Footballguy
Volume 1: The Characters
Unfortunately, there is no real way to capture this succinctly and do any justice, so I’m just going to guster it up. I’ve been trying to figure out the right/best way to do this writeup, but the weekend was just like one giant honeycomb – everything interconnected and full of sweet, sweet goodness. It had the feel of a family reunion, except with a family that you like.
I think I’ll start by profiling the characters in this story. These are merely my opinions based on 3+ days of drunken haziness, so my depictions may or may not be entirely accurate. ETA – of course, in the time it took me to write this all up, Bogart chimed in on his profiles of all the guests… so now you get two view points. This is volume 1 in my recap of coshole weekend… a mere 2200 words.
Cosjobs & the Missus
These poor, poor people probably had no idea what they were getting into at this point last week. What seemed like a fun weekend with a bunch of random people getting together turned into Austin’s version of hedonism. Well, except with no strangers… Cos slipped into stern Dad mode when lecturing the young’uns about his only rule – no bringing strangers back to Albert Oaks.
They were the constant consummate hosts – if anyone ever needed anything any time, they were on it. Keeping so many people with so many different needs happy and satisfied for a long weekend like this, especially when so many of us were drunk and needy so much of the time. Hell, Cos fed us so well, that I think YSR was the least pregnant looking one of the group staying at Albert Oaks by the end of the weekend.
Uruk-Hai
Great guy… the type of guy you’d want on your side if a bar fight were to break out. He’s laid back and quiet and unassuming but seems like he’d put the hurt on anyone that messed with any of his friends. I think he might have been the most amused by all the antics that were going on the whole weekend. Keeps farmer’s hours, but that helped us get round the clock coverage
Seemed more comfortable in smaller groups, but could just sit back and tell a story like a champ. I would be off doing something stupid and look over by the bar and Uruk would just be standing there, smiling, laughing, shaking his head. He’s the sort of guy that you could see a million times in passing and recognize him and probably coin him as “flattop guy” to your friends, but the one time to stop to say him, you realize that he’s genuinely a great guy and super nice and kind and then you wish you had said hi sooner. I’m rambling (shocker), but hopefully you get it
General Malaise
I had hung out with GM previously when I took a trip to Portland a couple summers ago, so I knew what to expect here and he delivered in spades. It’s almost like his approach was that because he was only there for 2 days, he was going to squeeze a full 4 days of craziness and fun into 2 days. Anytime he was around, the energy level got turned up to 11. Super nice guy, super fun and always seemed to be the center of attention. Shtick in spades. It was sad to see him go, but I’m glad he was able to visit with his friends in Dallas too while he was in the state.
Homer J Simpson
Just like GM, I had hung out with Homer before when we were in a Cincy area magic football league together. I’m not exaggerating when I say that he’s one of the smartest people that you’ll meet. He and Tanner would make for an invincible trivia team. He’s a super nice and caring guy and was probably the most helpful of the lot. Always willing to lend a hand and help Cos out. Playing bartender for the whole group. He missed a bit of time with not feeling well (not hungover, just sick) but rallied like a complete champ on Sunday to go out on top.
Thorn
The last of the guys I had previously met. We were roomies for the weekend, well, at least when he would let me in the room. Last time I saw him, I brought the girl I was dating at the time with me and he was nice enough to let us crash on his bed while he grabbed the couch. I figured I’d be a swell guy and let him have the bed in our room and I would crash on the couch to even the score. Yeah, that backfired. I always have the best time hanging out with him. Great drinker, fun and funny guy. If you’re hanging out with Thorn, I don’t care what you’re doing, you’re going to have fun. You’re going to end up with stories to tell.
Disco Stu
The magic man. I’ve been trying to think about how to describe him… as Bogart put it, he’s not one of the “loud” guys. He sits back smiling, sipping his drink and just generally having a good, chill time. While GM may have one speed and that is pedal to the metal, Stu also seems to have one speed…chillin’. This works to his advantage with the ladies. When he walks up to a girl he doesn’t get nervous, he doesn’t become a spaz, he’s just still chill. It’s like he’s walking up to his mother to ask her how her day was today. We were talking openers with girls on Saturday night and he says he has nothing planned when he walks up to a girl, he just says what comes to mind. I’m pretty sure his blood pressure is constant no matter what he’s doing. Oh, and he’s good at random things like bocce…shocker! I really had a blast hanging out with him because I tend to be a bit high strung energy, so hanging out with someone like Stu helps to balance me out a bit.
St Louis Bob and Pepper
Bob was a bit of a surprise to me, I don’t know why. I expected him to be more high energy, full motor, go go go like GM. He was much more laid back and super approachable. Great guy to just sit and chat with. Awesome story teller and I think he had a smile on his face and a drink in his hand just about the whole weekend. The Mrs was super nice and just a great compliment to Bob. The poor thing was a bit like a wounded three legged gazelle being thrust into a cage of lions. I think every couple of hours someone went up to her and said “Wait right there, let us take a picture of you to send to Zooks” Great sport.
YSR and Romo
They were sort of the steadying force between the chill and the crazy. They each were able to easily float in and out of whichever conversation they wanted to at the time with seamless transitions. YSR struck me as the person I would most want to impress but would be most likely to disappoint. She was sweet and kind and funny and helpful and fit right in amongst the group of hooligans. Since she has the bun in the oven, she got a rather sober view of the group that the rest of us wouldn’t have (I’ll take a PM with your opinion on whether I’m as immature as Bogart painted me to be). If I had to pick one person from the whole group to be able to master a skill, any skill…doesn’t matter, it would be Romo. That dude is hypercompetitive and ultra focused. Pretty sure while he was at Coshole, he perfected cornhole, bocce, Sanskrit, basketmaking and the ancient art of Chinese face reading. Just ignore him if he tells you a bet is the lock of a lifetime though
These crazy people spent a day and a half driving to and from coshole in a 4 day span just to be there…huge props to them in my book.
UniAlias
So, I think UniAlias and I were the two youngest ones there. I had no clue about him coming in – didn’t know if he would be tall, short, skinny, fat, old, young, etc. Right off the bat I took a liking to him and he reminded me of my best friend growing up. He’s always a part of things, but never the boisterous center of attention. He’s an absolute ton of fun and I hope this isn’t the last time that we can hang out and make memories we won’t remember the next morning (nohomo). The two of us were sitting at the dining room table together on Saturday morning after a combined 6 hours of sleep, trying to force water into our systems as everyone that walked by laughed and told us how great we looked. Oh, one other Uni fact: He doesn’t smoke, except for when he drinks… he went through 3 packs of cigarettes the first night
Bogart
I feel like I should say it was a disappointment meeting Bogart after the writeup he gave me
but he’s a seriously great guy. Poor dumb ******* kept volunteering to be designated driver though. He’s another one that was a bit on the quiet side, but always seemed to be in the mix of things. He’s the sort of friend that you always want to have around because you know that they’ll help make sure you don’t do half of the dumb things you’re thinking of doing. I’m really looking forward to hearing his stories of going out because he seems like the sort of guy where the more practice he gets, the more lethal he’ll be. He might not be Bill Laimbeer or Disco Stu, but next year at this time I’m certain that Bogart will have a full arsenal of awesome lady killing stories to tell.
Kevzilla
Kev came in and walked around introduced himself as Kevin and I think everyone paused for about 30 seconds, thinking to themselves “that’s nice, why are you here? Why did you just introduce yourself to me” and then… “oh wait a sec… Kevzilla!!!” He apologized for not having the same magical space hair from earlier pictures, but if it’s not exactly like it was, it’s not terribly far behind. He was a bit older than I expected but that didn’t stop him from fitting right in with the group. He seemed to like to find his little group to fit in with and slide right in and fit with the conversation.
Bentley
My mental image of Bentley coming in was of the guy posing in the picture with his one black friend. That hasn’t really changed. He’s a bit taller and a lot skinnier than I expected, but just seemed like a great guy all around. He fit in with any group at any time and was just a funny ******* with some of his comments. He’s like every positive stereotype I had of Texans rolled into one. It was cool seeing him in “dad mode” as he brought his kids around to see all the hungover fools and they were just really respectful, well behaved kids.
Brad Buckcanon
Showed up on Saturday after some of us had already bonded on Friday, but fit right in. As Bogey mentioned, he was pure shtick personified. Was just on the ball with everything and brought lots of funny. Said he hadn’t been out partying in Austin in like 10+ years, but still somehow manage to steer us to all the right spots. Either he was exaggerating or he’s got a good memory because it sure made for a good night.
Abraham
Poor *******…pretty much everyone said “hey, you’re alright… you’re way nicer than I thought you’d be”
I was impressed that he came out, given what he’s said about his introversion and all that’s going on in his life. I’m really glad he did because he was a lot of fun. The scrip club story is a bit odd, but somehow perfect too. I think I get it if he’s anything like some of my friends that are introverted… they get to a point where they have just done enough and they’re over the social interaction and need to split.
Krista4
The best surprise of the weekend in my book. We had all seen her post about going to Atlanta for Louis CK and talked a little crap about how she could go there, but couldn't come here... wtf? A couple of us had confidence that she would still show up and put some money on it
, so when we got word from YSR that Krista was sending a surprise, my hopes were up. Needless to say, she did not disapoint. I mean, she showed up with a bottle of Pappy van Winkle...that's a hell of a way to make a first impression. As Bogart mentioned, she's as nice as can be and was super easy to talk to. Too bad she didn't make it for the whole weekend to witness all the ridiculousness... but then she would have needed to bring more Pappy 
Stoner Poodle
The CosDogs were pretty cool. Two standard poodles – one beige and one black – and a tiny ankle biter of a dog that kept trying to pick a fight with the poodles. Good dogs that enjoyed the attention and I think were amused by the crowd.
Michael? And Kim
The staff at Albert Oaks. Kim was the adorable girl with short, curly brown hair. Cute little thing that was always super sweet and helpful. Michael?, her partner, had arms the size of tree trunks… just to make sure that no one had any bad ideas. They were both super nice, really accommodating and seemed to be amused by all of us for the most part.
Unfortunately, there is no real way to capture this succinctly and do any justice, so I’m just going to guster it up. I’ve been trying to figure out the right/best way to do this writeup, but the weekend was just like one giant honeycomb – everything interconnected and full of sweet, sweet goodness. It had the feel of a family reunion, except with a family that you like.
I think I’ll start by profiling the characters in this story. These are merely my opinions based on 3+ days of drunken haziness, so my depictions may or may not be entirely accurate. ETA – of course, in the time it took me to write this all up, Bogart chimed in on his profiles of all the guests… so now you get two view points. This is volume 1 in my recap of coshole weekend… a mere 2200 words.
Cosjobs & the Missus
These poor, poor people probably had no idea what they were getting into at this point last week. What seemed like a fun weekend with a bunch of random people getting together turned into Austin’s version of hedonism. Well, except with no strangers… Cos slipped into stern Dad mode when lecturing the young’uns about his only rule – no bringing strangers back to Albert Oaks.
They were the constant consummate hosts – if anyone ever needed anything any time, they were on it. Keeping so many people with so many different needs happy and satisfied for a long weekend like this, especially when so many of us were drunk and needy so much of the time. Hell, Cos fed us so well, that I think YSR was the least pregnant looking one of the group staying at Albert Oaks by the end of the weekend.
Uruk-Hai
Great guy… the type of guy you’d want on your side if a bar fight were to break out. He’s laid back and quiet and unassuming but seems like he’d put the hurt on anyone that messed with any of his friends. I think he might have been the most amused by all the antics that were going on the whole weekend. Keeps farmer’s hours, but that helped us get round the clock coverage
Seemed more comfortable in smaller groups, but could just sit back and tell a story like a champ. I would be off doing something stupid and look over by the bar and Uruk would just be standing there, smiling, laughing, shaking his head. He’s the sort of guy that you could see a million times in passing and recognize him and probably coin him as “flattop guy” to your friends, but the one time to stop to say him, you realize that he’s genuinely a great guy and super nice and kind and then you wish you had said hi sooner. I’m rambling (shocker), but hopefully you get itGeneral Malaise
I had hung out with GM previously when I took a trip to Portland a couple summers ago, so I knew what to expect here and he delivered in spades. It’s almost like his approach was that because he was only there for 2 days, he was going to squeeze a full 4 days of craziness and fun into 2 days. Anytime he was around, the energy level got turned up to 11. Super nice guy, super fun and always seemed to be the center of attention. Shtick in spades. It was sad to see him go, but I’m glad he was able to visit with his friends in Dallas too while he was in the state.
Homer J Simpson
Just like GM, I had hung out with Homer before when we were in a Cincy area magic football league together. I’m not exaggerating when I say that he’s one of the smartest people that you’ll meet. He and Tanner would make for an invincible trivia team. He’s a super nice and caring guy and was probably the most helpful of the lot. Always willing to lend a hand and help Cos out. Playing bartender for the whole group. He missed a bit of time with not feeling well (not hungover, just sick) but rallied like a complete champ on Sunday to go out on top.
Thorn
The last of the guys I had previously met. We were roomies for the weekend, well, at least when he would let me in the room. Last time I saw him, I brought the girl I was dating at the time with me and he was nice enough to let us crash on his bed while he grabbed the couch. I figured I’d be a swell guy and let him have the bed in our room and I would crash on the couch to even the score. Yeah, that backfired. I always have the best time hanging out with him. Great drinker, fun and funny guy. If you’re hanging out with Thorn, I don’t care what you’re doing, you’re going to have fun. You’re going to end up with stories to tell.
Disco Stu
The magic man. I’ve been trying to think about how to describe him… as Bogart put it, he’s not one of the “loud” guys. He sits back smiling, sipping his drink and just generally having a good, chill time. While GM may have one speed and that is pedal to the metal, Stu also seems to have one speed…chillin’. This works to his advantage with the ladies. When he walks up to a girl he doesn’t get nervous, he doesn’t become a spaz, he’s just still chill. It’s like he’s walking up to his mother to ask her how her day was today. We were talking openers with girls on Saturday night and he says he has nothing planned when he walks up to a girl, he just says what comes to mind. I’m pretty sure his blood pressure is constant no matter what he’s doing. Oh, and he’s good at random things like bocce…shocker! I really had a blast hanging out with him because I tend to be a bit high strung energy, so hanging out with someone like Stu helps to balance me out a bit.
St Louis Bob and Pepper
Bob was a bit of a surprise to me, I don’t know why. I expected him to be more high energy, full motor, go go go like GM. He was much more laid back and super approachable. Great guy to just sit and chat with. Awesome story teller and I think he had a smile on his face and a drink in his hand just about the whole weekend. The Mrs was super nice and just a great compliment to Bob. The poor thing was a bit like a wounded three legged gazelle being thrust into a cage of lions. I think every couple of hours someone went up to her and said “Wait right there, let us take a picture of you to send to Zooks” Great sport.
YSR and Romo
They were sort of the steadying force between the chill and the crazy. They each were able to easily float in and out of whichever conversation they wanted to at the time with seamless transitions. YSR struck me as the person I would most want to impress but would be most likely to disappoint. She was sweet and kind and funny and helpful and fit right in amongst the group of hooligans. Since she has the bun in the oven, she got a rather sober view of the group that the rest of us wouldn’t have (I’ll take a PM with your opinion on whether I’m as immature as Bogart painted me to be). If I had to pick one person from the whole group to be able to master a skill, any skill…doesn’t matter, it would be Romo. That dude is hypercompetitive and ultra focused. Pretty sure while he was at Coshole, he perfected cornhole, bocce, Sanskrit, basketmaking and the ancient art of Chinese face reading. Just ignore him if he tells you a bet is the lock of a lifetime though
These crazy people spent a day and a half driving to and from coshole in a 4 day span just to be there…huge props to them in my book.UniAlias
So, I think UniAlias and I were the two youngest ones there. I had no clue about him coming in – didn’t know if he would be tall, short, skinny, fat, old, young, etc. Right off the bat I took a liking to him and he reminded me of my best friend growing up. He’s always a part of things, but never the boisterous center of attention. He’s an absolute ton of fun and I hope this isn’t the last time that we can hang out and make memories we won’t remember the next morning (nohomo). The two of us were sitting at the dining room table together on Saturday morning after a combined 6 hours of sleep, trying to force water into our systems as everyone that walked by laughed and told us how great we looked. Oh, one other Uni fact: He doesn’t smoke, except for when he drinks… he went through 3 packs of cigarettes the first night
Bogart
I feel like I should say it was a disappointment meeting Bogart after the writeup he gave me
but he’s a seriously great guy. Poor dumb ******* kept volunteering to be designated driver though. He’s another one that was a bit on the quiet side, but always seemed to be in the mix of things. He’s the sort of friend that you always want to have around because you know that they’ll help make sure you don’t do half of the dumb things you’re thinking of doing. I’m really looking forward to hearing his stories of going out because he seems like the sort of guy where the more practice he gets, the more lethal he’ll be. He might not be Bill Laimbeer or Disco Stu, but next year at this time I’m certain that Bogart will have a full arsenal of awesome lady killing stories to tell.Kevzilla
Kev came in and walked around introduced himself as Kevin and I think everyone paused for about 30 seconds, thinking to themselves “that’s nice, why are you here? Why did you just introduce yourself to me” and then… “oh wait a sec… Kevzilla!!!” He apologized for not having the same magical space hair from earlier pictures, but if it’s not exactly like it was, it’s not terribly far behind. He was a bit older than I expected but that didn’t stop him from fitting right in with the group. He seemed to like to find his little group to fit in with and slide right in and fit with the conversation.
Bentley
My mental image of Bentley coming in was of the guy posing in the picture with his one black friend. That hasn’t really changed. He’s a bit taller and a lot skinnier than I expected, but just seemed like a great guy all around. He fit in with any group at any time and was just a funny ******* with some of his comments. He’s like every positive stereotype I had of Texans rolled into one. It was cool seeing him in “dad mode” as he brought his kids around to see all the hungover fools and they were just really respectful, well behaved kids.
Brad Buckcanon
Showed up on Saturday after some of us had already bonded on Friday, but fit right in. As Bogey mentioned, he was pure shtick personified. Was just on the ball with everything and brought lots of funny. Said he hadn’t been out partying in Austin in like 10+ years, but still somehow manage to steer us to all the right spots. Either he was exaggerating or he’s got a good memory because it sure made for a good night.
Abraham
Poor *******…pretty much everyone said “hey, you’re alright… you’re way nicer than I thought you’d be”
I was impressed that he came out, given what he’s said about his introversion and all that’s going on in his life. I’m really glad he did because he was a lot of fun. The scrip club story is a bit odd, but somehow perfect too. I think I get it if he’s anything like some of my friends that are introverted… they get to a point where they have just done enough and they’re over the social interaction and need to split.Krista4
The best surprise of the weekend in my book. We had all seen her post about going to Atlanta for Louis CK and talked a little crap about how she could go there, but couldn't come here... wtf? A couple of us had confidence that she would still show up and put some money on it
, so when we got word from YSR that Krista was sending a surprise, my hopes were up. Needless to say, she did not disapoint. I mean, she showed up with a bottle of Pappy van Winkle...that's a hell of a way to make a first impression. As Bogart mentioned, she's as nice as can be and was super easy to talk to. Too bad she didn't make it for the whole weekend to witness all the ridiculousness... but then she would have needed to bring more Pappy Stoner Poodle
The CosDogs were pretty cool. Two standard poodles – one beige and one black – and a tiny ankle biter of a dog that kept trying to pick a fight with the poodles. Good dogs that enjoyed the attention and I think were amused by the crowd.
Michael? And Kim
The staff at Albert Oaks. Kim was the adorable girl with short, curly brown hair. Cute little thing that was always super sweet and helpful. Michael?, her partner, had arms the size of tree trunks… just to make sure that no one had any bad ideas. They were both super nice, really accommodating and seemed to be amused by all of us for the most part.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
We have one downstairs, ****.
Doctor Detroit
Please remove your headgear
Way to try to move the line, Rothstein. TRE still -210 minimum.
bentley
Footballguy
That's the same way it was for me in the 90s. I actually got in an almost heap of trouble with a Dallas cop when I was 19, drunk and peeing in the parking lot of a concert. After a bunch of getting up in my face in yelling, he let me go with just a verbal warning provided that I poured the beer out while he watched.'Officer Pete Malloy said:'bentley said:
ScottNorwood
Footballcutie
Basically he was lamenting the fact that his all time favorite, ScottNorwood, was unable to join the party.
Britney Spears
guest speaker
Homer does not stand a chance. Seriously.'Guster said:
Britney Spears
guest speaker
There seems like some sort of betting opportunity here also.'Guster said:
T Bell
Footballguy
Kinky! Was it pee?That's the same way it was for me in the 90s. I actually got in an almost heap of trouble with a Dallas cop when I was 19, drunk and peeing in the parking lot of a concert. After a bunch of getting up in my face in yelling, he let me go with just a verbal warning provided that I poured the beer out while he watched.'Officer Pete Malloy said:'bentley said:
Hell, I remember back in HS that if the cops caught underage kids driving around with beer (opened or unopened) 90% of the time they would just force you to pour it out.
These days? It's a $250 fine. $1000 if the driver or passenger is under 21.
Doctor Detroit
Please remove your headgear
Since this is PPV, I guarantee some level of unpredictability.
Thorn
Footballguy
I'll add my takes, but agree with so much of what was said before. I went into this with really low expectations just as a hedge. I kept waiting for someone to be "that guy/gal"; either fake, or self-important, or socially awkward, or pompous, or ... something. I really was amazed at how easy it was. I can't once remember a conversation where I was nodding and smiling and thinking, 'oh crap what is my exit strategy here.'
It was weird to show up and have everyone there be someone you hadn't met (save Guster) yet know that they all knew something of you. All in all not what I expected but better than I could have hoped.
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Epilogue
It was weird to show up and have everyone there be someone you hadn't met (save Guster) yet know that they all knew something of you. All in all not what I expected but better than I could have hoped.
Friday
I arrived on Friday mid-day and was quickly scooped up by Homer and Cos. We did a handful of laps around the airport while trying to figure out when Uruk was getting in after his flight was delayed. Keystone Kops stuff as we're all trying to post in the thread, twitter, and text others to get us either Uruk's flight info or his number. And then cos tells him to hurry up bc we're waiting
We headed to lunch and met up with COlin and Bentley. We were going to head back for the SLBs but then they got delayed so we headed back to AO. What a setting. Just an enormous layout and with acreage out back for days. I got in my room to discover a bowl of green M&Ms and a mini fridge stocked with beer. Don't mind if I do.
After a couple relaxing beers cos asked if someone could go with his wife to get Guster and the SLBs. I jumped in the car. What a sweet lady the Mrs is. Again, a time when I thought, 'well this is going to awkward/hard to make conversation,' but it was like we were old friends. We had to do about a dozen laps around the airport while waiting though, bc Mrs. Cos will NOT pull curbside out of fear of the security guard. Which, for the record, was a 4'11" 50 year old woman.
By the time we got back, the Dallas contingent had arrived (Stu, Bogart, Uni), so we had a full roster. Seventy five degrees and various games and trash talking began. I believe this is when Homer and I started trading ethnic slurs. Who knew that *** was the worst one (hint: me).
Eventually the Romos, Kev and GM showed. Admittedly it gets hazy here for me. I remember: chocolate covered pretzel shots (proof that Homer will do a girly shot), commandeering MrsSLB's sunglasses and wearing them most of the rest of the night, texting Zooks "#### you for making me the shortest one here," and agreeing to head intown.
We ended up as a large boisterous group at a bar with an outdoor deck. Some dude wearing a winter coat with bear fur and a bear face for a hood was there, and we got some pictures with him. We ended up talking to a large group of chicks, but it seemed to me there was one decent looking one and a lot of average looking ones, and the one decent one was sorta snotty. Plus they kept asking us how we knew each other. Eventually GM shouted at them that we played fantasy football together. That didn't seem to help (one of the best lines of the weekend was the next day when Uni pointed out, that we don't even play together. HIs delivery of the line was outstanding; I can't do it justice here. Perfect combination of lamentation, defeat, and aloof/you wouldn't understand).
Stu and I tried for awhile to move us as a group to another bar but that didn't happen. I pulled the rip cord around 1am, I think, and some of the other cats hung in there until 3 or 4. I have no memory of this, but apparently I locked my door when I got home. Even to the point where I woke up around 7, saw a text from Guster calling me a ####, me realizing he was not in the room and thinking he was stuck somewhere without a ride, and texting back where are you? He said no worries on the couch and I went back to bed
We headed to lunch and met up with COlin and Bentley. We were going to head back for the SLBs but then they got delayed so we headed back to AO. What a setting. Just an enormous layout and with acreage out back for days. I got in my room to discover a bowl of green M&Ms and a mini fridge stocked with beer. Don't mind if I do.
After a couple relaxing beers cos asked if someone could go with his wife to get Guster and the SLBs. I jumped in the car. What a sweet lady the Mrs is. Again, a time when I thought, 'well this is going to awkward/hard to make conversation,' but it was like we were old friends. We had to do about a dozen laps around the airport while waiting though, bc Mrs. Cos will NOT pull curbside out of fear of the security guard. Which, for the record, was a 4'11" 50 year old woman.
By the time we got back, the Dallas contingent had arrived (Stu, Bogart, Uni), so we had a full roster. Seventy five degrees and various games and trash talking began. I believe this is when Homer and I started trading ethnic slurs. Who knew that *** was the worst one (hint: me).
Eventually the Romos, Kev and GM showed. Admittedly it gets hazy here for me. I remember: chocolate covered pretzel shots (proof that Homer will do a girly shot), commandeering MrsSLB's sunglasses and wearing them most of the rest of the night, texting Zooks "#### you for making me the shortest one here," and agreeing to head intown.
We ended up as a large boisterous group at a bar with an outdoor deck. Some dude wearing a winter coat with bear fur and a bear face for a hood was there, and we got some pictures with him. We ended up talking to a large group of chicks, but it seemed to me there was one decent looking one and a lot of average looking ones, and the one decent one was sorta snotty. Plus they kept asking us how we knew each other. Eventually GM shouted at them that we played fantasy football together. That didn't seem to help (one of the best lines of the weekend was the next day when Uni pointed out, that we don't even play together. HIs delivery of the line was outstanding; I can't do it justice here. Perfect combination of lamentation, defeat, and aloof/you wouldn't understand).
Stu and I tried for awhile to move us as a group to another bar but that didn't happen. I pulled the rip cord around 1am, I think, and some of the other cats hung in there until 3 or 4. I have no memory of this, but apparently I locked my door when I got home. Even to the point where I woke up around 7, saw a text from Guster calling me a ####, me realizing he was not in the room and thinking he was stuck somewhere without a ride, and texting back where are you? He said no worries on the couch and I went back to bed
Saturday I tried, and succeeded, in pacing myself better. Started off with an amazing breakfast (food all weekend was a huge highlight, worth the price just there). GM was a house of fire that day. From doing the MEEELOSH! routine, to throwing a beanbag on the roof, to being a cornhole savant (yo dog we heard you like cornhole, so we put some cornhole in your cornhole).
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Awesome Mexican breakfast of some type, and then the epic bocce game that I think lasted six hours in three rounds; no exaggeration. At one point I took a break to shower and change into my game shirt (Reese's). Earlier in the week, we had debated whether Krista would make a surprise showing. Cos had told me no, she wasn't coming, so I confidently said I would give 20-1 odds that she wasn't showing. I came back down and guess who showed up. Apologies for my reaction K4, but you cost me $120 with that stunt! (Guster 100, Bob 20). Also, cos had taken me for some cash the night before betting MMA. Ouch.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
We made our separate ways to the airport the next day. My only regret is that I didn't get to say proper goodbyes to most of you. Thanks to all of you for making it such an easy going, genuine, and hilarious weekend. I hope we can do it again and that wasn't just lightning in a bottle, but if it was, so be it. I had a blast.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
I think 146 Stu jokes ran through my head when I saw that shirt.
Thorn
Footballguy
I'm glad you mentioned this. Stu's advice on approaching/opening was "don't think too much, don't wait around, and then once you've said something, stop caring." I thought about this a lot.When I got to the airport Monday, I accidentally forgot to empty one of my flasks. I get pulled aside by a cute TSA worker, and she starts looking at the flask and trying to figure out how many ounces it is. "I'll just dump it out," I said.
"Well the problem is if it's too big, I have to escort you outside for you to dump it." I still had an hour before my flight, so it didn't really concern me if that was the case.
"Not the end of the world to get escorted by you," I said. I hadn't meant it as a come on, but I realized it could be taken that way as soon as it out of my mouth. But I just sort of let it hang there for her to wonder what was meant. She walked off after a few seconds. While she was gone I was just thinking, 'don't care.' I could see from the corner of my eye that she was discussing things with a couple of other TSA agents, but I barely looked her way.
Eventually she came back and said, "the consensus is that there are too many ounces here but we're gonna just let you go on your way," and winked.
I'm going to run with this approach for awhile.
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Josie Maran
Footballguy
Allow me to give my lengthy and deep description of everyone.
Buncha f###in' drunks.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
I appreciated the effort GB.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Gross.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Since I'll probably grow up and turn into a poor, lonely, elderly gent who won't be able to afford a fancy retirement community with a private room and will be forced to bunk with another poor, elderly gent who paddles in the same broken down rowboat, I got a real good glimpse of what that time will be like for me by rooming with Homer for a couple of nights. There was definitely some Odd Couple moments in our time together. My Blackberry alarm going off repeatedly at 6am with barely a stir from me created a touch of bitterness. Homer texting me the next night to "Stop Snoring!" was rich considering we were about five feet apart from each other. But I think I earned a legitimate chuckle in the dead of night when I barked out to him, "Homer?".....*SIGH* "Yes GM?"....."Do you ever think I'll find true love?"And with that we both giggled our way back to slumber.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
In her defense it was a blue and white shirt.
Thorn
Footballguy
General Malaise
Footballguy
Yeah, me too. I just started opening up random doors to say goodbye, but everybody looked like death warmed over, especially the elderly people I surprised in the "Off Limits" area of AO.Agree with Thorn that I feel,bad for not being able to say proper goodbyes to most folks. Amazing weekend and it looks like some guster rubbed off on Thorn and Bogart with the length of their posts
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Never bet on a guy with an American Eagle hoody (with totally lopsided drawstrings, no less) in a drinking contest. Might as well be wearing a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off that says "JAM" across the front.'Thorn said:
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
SaturdayI'll add my takes, but agree with so much of what was said before. I went into this with really low expectations just as a hedge. I kept waiting for someone to be "that guy/gal"; either fake, or self-important, or socially awkward, or pompous, or ... something. I really was amazed at how easy it was. I can't once remember a conversation where I was nodding and smiling and thinking, 'oh crap what is my exit strategy here.'
It was weird to show up and have everyone there be someone you hadn't met (save Guster) yet know that they all knew something of you. All in all not what I expected but better than I could have hoped.
Friday
I arrived on Friday mid-day and was quickly scooped up by Homer and Cos. We did a handful of laps around the airport while trying to figure out when Uruk was getting in after his flight was delayed. Keystone Kops stuff as we're all trying to post in the thread, twitter, and text others to get us either Uruk's flight info or his number. And then cos tells him to hurry up bc we're waiting
We headed to lunch and met up with COlin and Bentley. We were going to head back for the SLBs but then they got delayed so we headed back to AO. What a setting. Just an enormous layout and with acreage out back for days. I got in my room to discover a bowl of green M&Ms and a mini fridge stocked with beer. Don't mind if I do.
After a couple relaxing beers cos asked if someone could go with his wife to get Guster and the SLBs. I jumped in the car. What a sweet lady the Mrs is. Again, a time when I thought, 'well this is going to awkward/hard to make conversation,' but it was like we were old friends. We had to do about a dozen laps around the airport while waiting though, bc Mrs. Cos will NOT pull curbside out of fear of the security guard. Which, for the record, was a 4'11" 50 year old woman.
By the time we got back, the Dallas contingent had arrived (Stu, Bogart, Uni), so we had a full roster. Seventy five degrees and various games and trash talking began. I believe this is when Homer and I started trading ethnic slurs. Who knew that *** was the worst one (hint: me).
Eventually the Romos, Kev and GM showed. Admittedly it gets hazy here for me. I remember: chocolate covered pretzel shots (proof that Homer will do a girly shot), commandeering MrsSLB's sunglasses and wearing them most of the rest of the night, texting Zooks "#### you for making me the shortest one here," and agreeing to head intown.
We ended up as a large boisterous group at a bar with an outdoor deck. Some dude wearing a winter coat with bear fur and a bear face for a hood was there, and we got some pictures with him. We ended up talking to a large group of chicks, but it seemed to me there was one decent looking one and a lot of average looking ones, and the one decent one was sorta snotty. Plus they kept asking us how we knew each other. Eventually GM shouted at them that we played fantasy football together. That didn't seem to help (one of the best lines of the weekend was the next day when Uni pointed out, that we don't even play together. HIs delivery of the line was outstanding; I can't do it justice here. Perfect combination of lamentation, defeat, and aloof/you wouldn't understand).
Stu and I tried for awhile to move us as a group to another bar but that didn't happen. I pulled the rip cord around 1am, I think, and some of the other cats hung in there until 3 or 4. I have no memory of this, but apparently I locked my door when I got home. Even to the point where I woke up around 7, saw a text from Guster calling me a ####, me realizing he was not in the room and thinking he was stuck somewhere without a ride, and texting back where are you? He said no worries on the couch and I went back to bed
Saturday I tried, and succeeded, in pacing myself better. Started off with an amazing breakfast (food all weekend was a huge highlight, worth the price just there). GM was a house of fire that day. From doing the MEEELOSH! routine, to throwing a beanbag on the roof, to being a cornhole savant (yo dog we heard you like cornhole, so we put some cornhole in your cornhole).
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Awesome Mexican breakfast of some type, and then the epic bocce game that I think lasted six hours in three rounds; no exaggeration. At one point I took a break to shower and change into my game shirt (Reese's). Earlier in the week, we had debated whether Krista would make a surprise showing. Cos had told me no, she wasn't coming, so I confidently said I would give 20-1 odds that she wasn't showing. I came back down and guess who showed up. Apologies for my reaction K4, but you cost me $120 with that stunt! (Guster 100, Bob 20). Also, cos had taken me for some cash the night before betting MMA. Ouch.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
We made our separate ways to the airport the next day. My only regret is that I didn't get to say proper goodbyes to most of you. Thanks to all of you for making it such an easy going, genuine, and hilarious weekend. I hope we can do it again and that wasn't just lightning in a bottle, but if it was, so be it. I had a blast.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
ROADRUNNERS IN THE HIZZOUSE!Oh and tell her that I'm 90% sure I beat the everloving crap out of her coach's team in the annual Triva Bowl thingy to benefit the men's soccer team.
Last edited by a moderator:
cosjobs
Footballguy
She was playing in Serbia last year as a ringer. Said it was much nicer than Bakersfield.
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
Chez Lounge is good shtick
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
She's from La Verne...a hoity toity part of L.A...of course she's going to look down on Bakersfield. Dirty whore.She was playing in Serbia last year as a ringer. Said it was much nicer than Bakersfield.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Shiiiiiiiit...this may be a cultural wasteland compare to Austin but that doesn't mean I'm going to stoop to going to a watch a womens soccer team that went 3-15.
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
THEY WON 3 GAMES!!!
General Malaise
Footballguy
If Alex Morgan and the Portland Woman's team stay at AO let me know and tell Michael he has that night off. TIA.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Yeah against San Jose St, Southern Utah, and Drake*.*Pretty sure this was against the rapper all by himself.
Thorn
Footballguy
I'll add my takes, but agree with so much of what was said before. I went into this with really low expectations just as a hedge. I kept waiting for someone to be "that guy/gal"; either fake, or self-important, or socially awkward, or pompous, or ... something. I really was amazed at how easy it was. I can't once remember a conversation where I was nodding and smiling and thinking, 'oh crap what is my exit strategy here.'
It was weird to show up and have everyone there be someone you hadn't met (save Guster) yet know that they all knew something of you. All in all not what I expected but better than I could have hoped.
Friday
I arrived on Friday mid-day and was quickly scooped up by Homer and Cos. We did a handful of laps around the airport while trying to figure out when Uruk was getting in after his flight was delayed. Keystone Kops stuff as we're all trying to post in the thread, twitter, and text others to get us either Uruk's flight info or his number. And then cos tells him to hurry up bc we're waiting
We headed to lunch and met up with COlin and Bentley. We were going to head back for the SLBs but then they got delayed so we headed back to AO. What a setting. Just an enormous layout and with acreage out back for days. I got in my room to discover a bowl of green M&Ms and a mini fridge stocked with beer. Don't mind if I do.
After a couple relaxing beers cos asked if someone could go with his wife to get Guster and the SLBs. I jumped in the car. What a sweet lady the Mrs is. Again, a time when I thought, 'well this is going to awkward/hard to make conversation,' but it was like we were old friends. We had to do about a dozen laps around the airport while waiting though, bc Mrs. Cos will NOT pull curbside out of fear of the security guard. Which, for the record, was a 4'11" 50 year old woman.
By the time we got back, the Dallas contingent had arrived (Stu, Bogart, Uni), so we had a full roster. Seventy five degrees and various games and trash talking began. I believe this is when Homer and I started trading ethnic slurs. Who knew that *** was the worst one (hint: me).
Eventually the Romos, Kev and GM showed. Admittedly it gets hazy here for me. I remember: chocolate covered pretzel shots (proof that Homer will do a girly shot), commandeering MrsSLB's sunglasses and wearing them most of the rest of the night, texting Zooks "#### you for making me the shortest one here," and agreeing to head intown.
We ended up as a large boisterous group at a bar with an outdoor deck. Some dude wearing a winter coat with bear fur and a bear face for a hood was there, and we got some pictures with him. We ended up talking to a large group of chicks, but it seemed to me there was one decent looking one and a lot of average looking ones, and the one decent one was sorta snotty. Plus they kept asking us how we knew each other. Eventually GM shouted at them that we played fantasy football together. That didn't seem to help (one of the best lines of the weekend was the next day when Uni pointed out, that we don't even play together. HIs delivery of the line was outstanding; I can't do it justice here. Perfect combination of lamentation, defeat, and aloof/you wouldn't understand).
Stu and I tried for awhile to move us as a group to another bar but that didn't happen. I pulled the rip cord around 1am, I think, and some of the other cats hung in there until 3 or 4. I have no memory of this, but apparently I locked my door when I got home. Even to the point where I woke up around 7, saw a text from Guster calling me a ####, me realizing he was not in the room and thinking he was stuck somewhere without a ride, and texting back where are you? He said no worries on the couch and I went back to bed
Saturday
Saturday I tried, and succeeded, in pacing myself better. Started off with an amazing breakfast (food all weekend was a huge highlight, worth the price just there). GM was a house of fire that day. From doing the MEEELOSH! routine, to throwing a beanbag on the roof, to being a cornhole savant (yo dog we heard you like cornhole, so we put some cornhole in your cornhole).
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Saturday I tried, and succeeded, in pacing myself better. Started off with an amazing breakfast (food all weekend was a huge highlight, worth the price just there). GM was a house of fire that day. From doing the MEEELOSH! routine, to throwing a beanbag on the roof, to being a cornhole savant (yo dog we heard you like cornhole, so we put some cornhole in your cornhole).
Eventually we headed out to Driftwood for the Salt Lick. No one seems to know why, but GM's mood turned sour. I guess he #####ed all the way there (30min?) that 'THIS IS BULL####, IF WE WERE IN PORTLAND WE'D BE AT THE COAST BY NOW!' When we were walking in, he was pouting and hanging out having a cigarette. I hung with him for a minute, then headed inside. As soon as I did I realized I'd made a big mistake. GM was the kind of drunk and in the kind of mood where he might just walk off, or nap in someone's back seat or something.
I apologized to the group, saying 'damn it, it was my turn to watch the baby, and I blew it.' Bob and I scoured the parking lot and couldn't find him. I only turned my back for a minute!
I think Homer eventually found him talking to the four armed guards working the parking lot (only in TX!). Once corralled inside he had an intimate time with a large plate of food that YSR thankfully caught on video. I'm almost certain GM was having a full-on dirty talk conversation with his food in his head. We did the 'family style,' aka $20 all you can eat.
Oh, and when we were getting ready to leave, cos says to me "tell me if ah waitress is comin." I was about to ask him what he needed brought to him, but when I turned, he had taken several sheets of aluminum foil out of his wife's purse and proceeded to fill it from a heaping plate of brisket and sausage.
When we got back to AO, GM promptly faceplanted into a chez lounge and didn't move for a long time. We got some good pictures of him.
That night, Bogart, Buck, Guster, Stu and I headed out on the town. Homer was down with a meat injury. The first place we went had a great dj playing 90s-00s style stuff and was loaded with pretty girls. There were more than one that were undeniable 10s regardless of your style. At one point I loudly said to no one, "I feel like I'm in the best strip club on earth!" A guy who looked remarkably like Priest Holmes was walking by, heard me and shouted to his friends "what I just say? Exactly!" and gave me a soul brother handshake. Rounds were flowing but we didn't seem to be making any women progress, so we adjourned to another place with a roof deck.
I had said to Stu that I'm no good at opening with girls, but once that hurdle has been crossed, I'm usually off and running. At the next place, we positioned ourselves next to a bachelorette party. Thankfully, we had discussed on the ride in that we needed a back story instead of the FFA. Bogart said, we're on a bachelor party but our groom is too hammered to come out. Yes! I said, I've got a picture of GM passed out and he's the groom.
Around this time god smiled on us. He knocked a drunken girl from the party onto the ground. I leapt into action, quickly getting her back to her feet, even though she was pretty much dead weight. She promptly fell again. I picked her up again, and looked to her friends, who brought a stool over for her. She could barely stay on that. Once she was propped up, I began talking to the group and brought everyone else in. The drunken bachelor party story worked like a charm, including the pic of GM (thanks buddy!) Before you know it, all of us are in conversation with a belle. Guster was wearing the veil, Stu was inquiring the statuesque one about her long flowing dress, which she was happily swirling about.
Again this is where the haze starts for me, though not as bad as the night before. The girl I was talking with kept telling me she was engaged but lots of the other girls were single. The one Guster was talking with was saying her friends are boring. Stu was jedi mind tricking his girl to invite us onto the party bus. We end up separated, and then it's Stu, Guster, and me out front with some of the girls, who are heading to the bus. Some want us to come, some are not enthused and start walking. We head along, and I'm trying to text Bogart, talk to the girls, and walk. It's not easy.
We get on the bus and it starts moving but mutiny is afoot. There are at least 3 girls who are giving us the "oh no nuh-uh no way this is happening" vibe. Most seem neutral, and the girls we were talking to are open. Eventually the #####es win out. #####es man, #####es.
We get off the bus a few blocks later and hug them and our boners goodbye. We meet up with Bogart and Buck and get a nightcap before heading home. Wouldn't have blamed Bogart for a second if he headed home but that's just not the type of guy he is.
Awesome Mexican breakfast of some type, and then the epic bocce game that I think lasted six hours in three rounds; no exaggeration. At one point I took a break to shower and change into my game shirt (Reese's). Earlier in the week, we had debated whether Krista would make a surprise showing. Cos had told me no, she wasn't coming, so I confidently said I would give 20-1 odds that she wasn't showing. I came back down and guess who showed up. Apologies for my reaction K4, but you cost me $120 with that stunt! (Guster 100, Bob 20). Also, cos had taken me for some cash the night before betting MMA. Ouch.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
Homer and Stu chopped the poker tournament, which was only fair since Homer won a hand that he mistakenly thought was 10-8 but turned out to be 10-6 for two pair.
I think the game and the reactions have pretty well been covered, but it was pretty wild to see people losing bets and squares and still being genuinely happy for the winners, especially Uruk. I would have hit 2000 in a pool if SF had scored on their last possession, but hey if it can't be me it might as well be someone as quality as Uruk.
After the game we rolled with a crew of Bogart, Uni, Homer, Stu and me. I don't know if Homer felt he had something to prove, but we had 3 nights worth of action that night. Two dollar miller lites and several rounds of shots (shots with one ingredient, mind you: vodka, whiskey, tequila) and I was feeling good. Another great mix of music and I found myself jamming with a circle of people I didn't know. They were friendly and I chatted and danced with them for awhile.
Eventually I realized that I didn't know where my ifriends were. I looked at my phone and there were two texts from Homer to come to the patio. I got out there and people were hammered and loud. It was great. Bogart was working on this girl in a black and white striped shirt. I made a couple of foot locker jokes but I don't think she liked or got them. I may have even told her congrats on winning a square in the pool. Perhaps not unrelatedly, she started doing that thing where you whack the top of someone else's beer and make it foam over. I ####### hate that ####.
She knocked Stu's beer to the floor, and was trying to hit someone else's. I held my beer out. I think she thought I was going to pull it away. No. I wanted to get this foolishness out of her system. She wacked it, I drank it and held it out again. Repeat. The third time she gives me a look like wtf is wrong with you. I said "are you through?" She meekly hit it one more time. "Now you're through?" She looked thoroughly dejected and stopped. Sorry Bogie.
We made our separate ways to the airport the next day. My only regret is that I didn't get to say proper goodbyes to most of you. Thanks to all of you for making it such an easy going, genuine, and hilarious weekend. I hope we can do it again and that wasn't just lightning in a bottle, but if it was, so be it. I had a blast.
Thanks?
for when I'm on vacation later this month and have time to read this.
Guster
Footballguy
There's a Woz joke in here somewhere...
flysack
Footballguy
flysack
Footballguy
Ignoramus
Footballguy
"Well, God and Pastor Picanto," she added.
Disco Stu
Confirmed FBGal
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
'Disco Stu said:
I think at MH1 I wore purple/gold 24/7. Didn't want to disappoint
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Not at all GB. AlsoStl bob was the most "unlike" I expected. Frankly, based on the board and my offline messages with him I expected a portly and boisterous fellow. He is actually thin and somewhat quiet but very friendly. Or maybe he was just being polite and doesn't like me much.
that everybody thought I was fat. WTF did this come from?I need to give my body a break. I tend to get after it pretty good.'Bob Sacamano said:
You were sleeping! I apologized and offered to go again but you declined.'General Malaise said:
'Aaron Rudnicki said:'Disco Stu said:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
'Disco Stu said:'Bogart said:
'Uruk-Hai said:Agreed. When Bob writes that something's got him in tears, I can believe it (not that I didn't before). Funny to contrast that to the "leg-breaking" story he told me Sunday, though.'Disco Stu said:'Bogart said:
Wow, well thanks Stu, Uruk, & Buck. The feeling is mutual.'Buck Bradcanon said:Seconded, thirded, whatever. We didnt share a ton of talks and yet he's the first person I would call if I ever needed anything.'Disco Stu said:'Bogart said:
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