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GM's thread about nothing (24 Viewers)

the fastest 30 seconds in sports

So, we had started drinking around 7 in the morning and sometime mid-afternoon, Tre and I decided it was time for some horse racing. We put on horse masks and some random guys we had been partying with donned the tiny plastic jockey hats Tre had sent and hopped on our backs to race. It looks like I was ahead of Tre for much of the race, but he brought the steam late and had incredible closing speed... Until his jockey leaned too far forward, sending our hero tumbling to the ground. Tre was gushing blood from his knee and scraped up his arm pretty well too.

:lmao:
:lmao:
:lmao:
 
Tiger Fan said:
I'mfairly certain Mrs Slb and myself are the poorest guests on this trip. I haven't met anyone yet that doesn't own a 3rd world nation, a fleet of luxury cars and an armada of ships.This is some crazy #### though. Upon arrival everybody got to choose a pair of Maui Jim sunglasses. I've must have had a hundred really expensive free drinks comped. Last night was dinner on some plantation they rented out. Open bar four different appetizers then an 8 course meal. After that was an open cigar bar and all of the chicks got to choose a sarong. Wow all of these broads looked hot wearing them. Then there was a band after that. It seemed like most people were "meh, this is alright I guess" but I was blown ####### away.Mrs Slb went to bed on our return to the hotel and I hit the bar. I've apparently made a name for myself :oldunsure: since I was cheerfully greeted by a bunch of people there that I had zero clue as to who they were. Bar closed and I sat on the beach by myself smoking one of the many cigars insisted on me, drinking whisky, staring at the stars and fiddler crabs scurrying about. Damn, you rich people got it good.I need to go get a drink before I vomit. We are getting a helicopter tour of the island at noon. :mellow :
what are you tehre for?
Maui for work, Kauai for fun.
 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.

 
It's gotten to the point where right before I click the link, I think to myself "Self, I'm betting this will be a donkey". Had to cover up a snort when I saw the kangaroo :lmao:
:goodposting: I do the "guess what animal it really will be" thing, too.

Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
I read this on my phone yesterday and actually meant to go back and comment on it later. True story. Loved this.

 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
needs video--at least a reenactment.

 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
needs video--at least a reenactment.
Ask Megan when she's available for me to come up.

 
Oh, sure, it's easy to laugh when it's not your #### on the wrong end of exploding balloons. I haven't been able to get an erection around a clown for the better part of a decade. You know how limiting that can be?

 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
needs video--at least a reenactment.
How's your new job?

 
LMFAO at TannerGlad you are doing well ACP. Had mine taken out 15 years ago. It was the suck.Hawks64, how are you doing man?
Thanks for asking man...I was actually just coming in to post a quick update, saw the specialist specialist ENT today. MRI was fine, no issues. The new doc said it's a virus and I need to wait a few more weeks :mellow: Gee thanks for helping me out doc. The hearing still comes and goes and the same with the dizziness but it's seems to be gone more than it's around the last few days.

 
I wish she'd hatch the damned things already because I have some work to do around there but don't want to piss her off again. I was out there, blissfully ignorant as always of what's happening around me, pulling weeds a couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden one of the bushes came alive. Scared the hell out of me. She came out hissing and wings flapping. So now I go out every few days and toss her bread crumbs because I feel guilty for disturbung her :bag:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: A garter snake slithered out across the bike path a couple weeks ago and scared me so badly I almost wrecked. Might have been smaller than my penis, but no less frightening. PENIS!
This is lovely. I get home and go out on the deck for a smoke. I see a hen with at least 8 chicks in the "crick". I'm all excited, thinking that "my" hen has hatched her brood. Look out the front door and no such luck. There's Sarah Palin (my term of, um, affection for her) sitting her nest of evil. My mail is going to be spilling out onto the road before I can get to the box (again, none of this paragraph is a euphemism). GM, can you bring your garter snake over here to scare the crap out of this Jezebel?
 
LMFAO at TannerGlad you are doing well ACP. Had mine taken out 15 years ago. It was the suck.Hawks64, how are you doing man?
Thanks for asking man...I was actually just coming in to post a quick update, saw the specialist specialist ENT today. MRI was fine, no issues. The new doc said it's a virus and I need to wait a few more weeks :mellow: Gee thanks for helping me out doc. The hearing still comes and goes and the same with the dizziness but it's seems to be gone more than it's around the last few days.
Glad to hear it! :thumbup:
 
I wish she'd hatch the damned things already because I have some work to do around there but don't want to piss her off again. I was out there, blissfully ignorant as always of what's happening around me, pulling weeds a couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden one of the bushes came alive. Scared the hell out of me. She came out hissing and wings flapping. So now I go out every few days and toss her bread crumbs because I feel guilty for disturbung her :bag:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: A garter snake slithered out across the bike path a couple weeks ago and scared me so badly I almost wrecked. Might have been smaller than my penis, but no less frightening. PENIS!
This is lovely. I get home and go out on the deck for a smoke. I see a hen with at least 8 chicks in the "crick". I'm all excited, thinking that "my" hen has hatched her brood. Look out the front door and no such luck. There's Sarah Palin (my term of, um, affection for her) sitting her nest of evil. My mail is going to be spilling out onto the road before I can get to the box (again, none of this paragraph is a euphemism). GM, can you bring your garter snake over here to scare the crap out of this Jezebel?
Completely off-topic, but don't be surprised if you start getting weird e-mails from Julio. Well, even weirder than Julio's usual e-mails, which are already 220% weirder than the average e-mail.

 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
So needy.
 
I wish she'd hatch the damned things already because I have some work to do around there but don't want to piss her off again. I was out there, blissfully ignorant as always of what's happening around me, pulling weeds a couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden one of the bushes came alive. Scared the hell out of me. She came out hissing and wings flapping. So now I go out every few days and toss her bread crumbs because I feel guilty for disturbung her :bag:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: A garter snake slithered out across the bike path a couple weeks ago and scared me so badly I almost wrecked. Might have been smaller than my penis, but no less frightening. PENIS!
This is lovely. I get home and go out on the deck for a smoke. I see a hen with at least 8 chicks in the "crick". I'm all excited, thinking that "my" hen has hatched her brood. Look out the front door and no such luck. There's Sarah Palin (my term of, um, affection for her) sitting her nest of evil. My mail is going to be spilling out onto the road before I can get to the box (again, none of this paragraph is a euphemism). GM, can you bring your garter snake over here to scare the crap out of this Jezebel?
:lmao:

 
I wish she'd hatch the damned things already because I have some work to do around there but don't want to piss her off again. I was out there, blissfully ignorant as always of what's happening around me, pulling weeds a couple of weeks ago and all of a sudden one of the bushes came alive. Scared the hell out of me. She came out hissing and wings flapping. So now I go out every few days and toss her bread crumbs because I feel guilty for disturbung her :bag:
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: A garter snake slithered out across the bike path a couple weeks ago and scared me so badly I almost wrecked. Might have been smaller than my penis, but no less frightening. PENIS!
This is lovely. I get home and go out on the deck for a smoke. I see a hen with at least 8 chicks in the "crick". I'm all excited, thinking that "my" hen has hatched her brood. Look out the front door and no such luck. There's Sarah Palin (my term of, um, affection for her) sitting her nest of evil. My mail is going to be spilling out onto the road before I can get to the box (again, none of this paragraph is a euphemism). GM, can you bring your garter snake over here to scare the crap out of this Jezebel?
Completely off-topic, but don't be surprised if you start getting weird e-mails from Julio. Well, even weirder than Julio's usual e-mails, which are already 220% weirder than the average e-mail.
I have, but not in the last several days. I'm not sure what I should do at this point in whether to respond to him or not - not because I don't care about him but because of things we've talked about before off-line.
 
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
needs video--at least a reenactment.
How's your new job?
much better than the old job, but for now I'm commuting to Seattle, which is a #####.

 
Even though they play infomercials for porn movies, you can't order any. <_<

There isn't even a dvd player to play your own. <_<

The terrorists have won. <_<

 
one of my neighbors has a chicken. a ####ing chicken.

i live in the middle of the city.

a ####ing chicken.

betting the neighbor's wolf/newfoundland/akita/elephant hybrid gets loose this week and eats that thing along with whatever children happen to be nearby at the time.

or at least that's my hope

 
So I went to a charity event Saturday night for a non profit that i am part of. We watch the derby and drink mint juleps. Evidently I haven't "really" drank liquor in a long time(i am nowhere near the pro tour most of the GMTANers are on). Not really sure if i said anything embarrassing. My wife is still talking to me so i guess that means i did okay. Sunday was a pain in the ###. Just now starting to feel better. Jesus - i remember why i quit drinking so much now.

 
one of my neighbors has a chicken. a ####ing chicken.

i live in the middle of the city.

a ####ing chicken.

betting the neighbor's wolf/newfoundland/akita/elephant hybrid gets loose this week and eats that thing along with whatever children happen to be nearby at the time.

or at least that's my hope
Can you just cover it up with a little foam? That ought to take care of it

 
So I went to a charity event Saturday night for a non profit that i am part of. We watch the derby and drink mint juleps. Evidently I haven't "really" drank liquor in a long time(i am nowhere near the pro tour most of the GMTANers are on). Not really sure if i said anything embarrassing. My wife is still talking to me so i guess that means i did okay. Sunday was a pain in the ###. Just now starting to feel better. Jesus - i remember why i quit drinking so much now.
This explains why despite your close proximity, we've never gotten together.
 
the fastest 30 seconds in sports

So, we had started drinking around 7 in the morning and sometime mid-afternoon, Tre and I decided it was time for some horse racing. We put on horse masks and some random guys we had been partying with donned the tiny plastic jockey hats Tre had sent and hopped on our backs to race. It looks like I was ahead of Tre for much of the race, but he brought the steam late and had incredible closing speed... Until his jockey leaned too far forward, sending our hero tumbling to the ground. Tre was gushing blood from his knee and scraped up his arm pretty well too.

:lmao:
:cry: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :cry:

Most awesomest video I'v ever seen

 
So I went to a charity event Saturday night for a non profit that i am part of. We watch the derby and drink mint juleps. Evidently I haven't "really" drank liquor in a long time(i am nowhere near the pro tour most of the GMTANers are on). Not really sure if i said anything embarrassing. My wife is still talking to me so i guess that means i did okay. Sunday was a pain in the ###. Just now starting to feel better. Jesus - i remember why i quit drinking so much now.
This explains why despite your close proximity, we've never gotten together.
My inability to consume large amounts of alcohol these days has not been the reason we have not gotten together. Mosty I have just been tied up lately. My oldest has baseball right now. - practice Sunday, play either Monday or Wednesday and then hitting and pitching on Tuesday nights. He also plays flag football. Ohyeah, then there are the baseball tournaments on top of the league games. My youngest just wrapped up soccer an is starting clinics. Add in some speed and agility training along with work and we are toast. Thing should slow down some soon and would like very much to grab a drink with ya.
 
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth.

Any tips are welcomed!

 
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth.

Any tips are welcomed!
Careful, even a tip could be enough

 
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth.

Any tips are welcomed!
Careful, even a tip could be enough
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth.

Any tips are welcomed!
Careful, even a tip could be enough
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitresses

(sorry I have no helpful advice)

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Best thing from Reddit today.

Thread title: "What is the most badass thing your pet has ever done?:

I used to have a wonderful pet rabbit named Cola. Cola had free reign of all of the house and the back yard, he could come in and out of the house through a cat-flap in the back door. he refused to live in a hutch so he just ran where he wanted.

Anyway, Cola developed a sexual relationship with my basket ball. I wont go into details of Cola's private sex life but leave it up to your imagination. Cola saw an approximately rabbit-sized object and decided that it would feel good to... you know.

One day my little sister was having a birthday party and this required balloons. The morning before the party we blew up about 50 balloons, and had them all strewn all around the floor of the lounge room before they were to be organized.

Cola came into the house to see what's up and he was delighted to see a massive collection of potential sexual partners. This crazy little rabbit proceeded to #### the #### out of each and every one of the balloons until they popped, and just moved on to the next one. Cola managed to pop balloons with his rabbit-**** faster than my sister and I could inflate them.

This was absolutely ####### hilarious. Picture a room full of balloons and a rabbit humping each one till it pops. Cola was damn determined to pop each balloon no matter the shock he must have experienced every time they burst. Badass, horny little bugger he was.
Photo of Cola
Can't believe this didn't get any love. Cola rules. You guys suck.
So needy.
Let's see your best horny rabbit story, b itch.

 
Try focusing on the positive, TF.

"Have I told you how perfect your ###### is right now? I can't think of a single reason to put your body through something that would change that."

 
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth.

Any tips are welcomed!
My wife seems to get a little baby crazy every now and again. I just remind her how little we've collectively slept since August 2011. Pretty much ends the discussion.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
So I hate to serious this thread up a bit...but has anyone had the "I don't want to have any more kids" chat with the wife, knowing that she wants another one? I'm sure she knows this is my stance, but we haven't had the "official" talk about it...and it kills me that this will likely make her sad...but it's the honest truth. Any tips are welcomed!
Maybe you can borrow a couple other kids so she can experience firsthand how awful it would be. You should probably do it for a few months to be sure. I think an (almost) four year old boy and 20 month old boy would be perfect.
 

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