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GM's thread about nothing (24 Viewers)

General Malaise said:
But there is NO WAY in hell I'd eat Krystal's again. I don't think I could get past the smell before my body involuntarily began to enter auto-barf zone. Same thing happens to me if I smell a can of dip. I just start getting ill. Too many bad associations with it. You ever peel back the bun and get a good look at that patty? It looks like the surface of the moon! That does not look like any hamburger patty I've ever made. It looks like the face of Norv Turner. You want to scarf that down, be my guest. But do NOT try and tell me that it's tasty. Or good. Or better than the millions of options out there. It's vomit. You know it. I know it. Don't hand me a box of turd and tell me it's a brick of gold. I know turd when I see turd and THIS....this is turd.
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You're missing the point. The point is that Krystals just tries to make that meat into a patty while taco bell just shovels it into a flour/corn shell.
 
jplvr said:
General Malaise said:
But there is NO WAY in hell I'd eat Krystal's again. I don't think I could get past the smell before my body involuntarily began to enter auto-barf zone. Same thing happens to me if I smell a can of dip. I just start getting ill. Too many bad associations with it. You ever peel back the bun and get a good look at that patty? It looks like the surface of the moon! That does not look like any hamburger patty I've ever made. It looks like the face of Norv Turner. You want to scarf that down, be my guest. But do NOT try and tell me that it's tasty. Or good. Or better than the millions of options out there. It's vomit. You know it. I know it. Don't hand me a box of turd and tell me it's a brick of gold. I know turd when I see turd and THIS....this is turd.
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You're missing the point. The point is that Krystals just tries to make that meat into a patty while taco bell just shovels it into a flour/corn shell.
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I would rather eat a taco than a krystal's burger. I can pour enough sauce on the taco to hide the poor quality of the meat inside. There's not enough stuff on the Krystal's patty to hide the fact that you are eating Grade Q meat.
 
Oh, hell, I don't know where else to post this story, so I might as well here. Doesn't really rise to the level of its own thread:

Went to a christmas party this weekend with wife and kids (10 yr old boy, 7 yr old girl). When we showed up, there were a gaggle of screaming little girls, maybe between 6-9 years old, buzzing around, talking, giggling, doing whatever little girls do. A couple other families showed up when we did, and the people who were throwing the party told their daughter (2nd grade) and her friends to take our coats upstairs in one of the kids rooms, that they were using as a coat room. The kids took a bunch up, and I didn't get mine off in time, so I carried it upstairs myself.

When I got up to the room, there were about 10 girls up in the room, all giggling and tittering and, again, acting like girls. I said hey to them, dropped off my coat, and started to walk out, trying not to step on the rugrats who were EVERYWHERE. As I walked out, one of the kids pointed to a miniature statue of David, that was on the kid's dresser. The girl said something like "my parents got that in Italy," one of the girls pointed at it and said, you can see his weenie, and all the girls laughed. Ha ha, whatever.

They all then go running screaming downstairs, on to the next thing that occupies their little pea brains. As I come sauntering down, looking for the drink bar, the girls are all collected in the living room buzzing. One points up the stairs (where I am coming down), and shouts out "We just saw a NAKED guy!!!!" And all the girl burst out laughing.

I freeze, about 3 steps from the bottom. Every adult's head in the room snaps up and looks at me. The room is suspended in time for maybe a half a second.

And then I head to the bar. My wife is looking at me like I've just eaten a bowl of bugs. I kind of shrug at her and consider asking her if I she minds if I make a Shirley Temple with alcohol in it.

I decide against it.

 
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cosjobs said:
So I go online today to pay my credit card bills and my Mastercard is really high and I had not used it much lately.but let me go back a little ways, first.Last weekend, I had to miss my GBGM's wedding. I just had too much going on to take off 3-4 days to go to Detroit.Thursday night his soon-to-be BIL was throwing a bachelor party / poker game in his honor and I decided it would be good schtick to have some strippers deliver an ice cream cake to the event and dance to some Neil Young songs.So after calling around the greater Detroit area, I finally found a stripp-o-gram operation that promised to pick up an ice cream cake, take it to the poker game, and serve it to the guests while singing Heart of Gold and Southern Man in the nude. The only catch was that I had to find and pay for an ice cream cake. I tell them to give me an hour and I'll call them back.Eva's ice Cream in Lake Orion seemed like the best choice after some Google searching, so I call them up. but they sell ice cream. And they sell cakes. but they do not sell ice cream cakes. I spend 15 minutes with the owner trying to get her to concoct the unimaginable recipe of smearing a couple of quarts of ice cream on top of one cake and then putting another cake on top of that. I offered her $100 to perform this complicated task and I think I just about had her talked into it, until I told her it needed to be done ASAP before the strippers showed up. She hung up on me and no one there would answer the phone when I repeatedly tried to call back.I tried a few other places with no luck, but finally the Lake Orion DQ told me that they had ice cream cakes ready to go, but they closed in 15 minutes. He even agreed to a credit card payment - if I threw in an extra twenty bucks for the trouble.I called back the strippers, but they said there was no way they could get to Lake Orion before the DQ closed. So I told them to blow it off. That without an ice cream cake it would just be inferior schtick.Evidently the strippers had caller ID, because they called me back twenty minutes later and told me the Kroger sold Ice cream cakes. So I call the Lake Orion Kroger to see if I could charge one of their delicious cakes on my Mastercard for my hired performers ( I had learned that the sensibilities of Western Detroit merchants were offended when it came to holding cakes for strippers).My new-found decorum was lost on the Kroger manager, as he would not let me pay for a cake over the phone no matter who was picking it up.So I called back the strippers and told them it was still a no go because the Kroger wouldn't take a credit card over the phone.So they told me that if I would pay them $375 ($100 over the previously negotiated price) that they would pay for the cake themselves.Ok I said, relenting to their unrealistic demands due to my BAC and determination to see this task through. But that wasn't enough. Evidently the Detroit-based strippers were too inept to get to Lake Orion, unless I was willing to stay on the cell phone while they navigated to the privileged western regions of the county while read turn-by turn directions from Google maps.To help pass the time while they drove, I worked with them on the lyrics to Heart of Gold and Southern Man. Turns out they really did not know either song and were doing a woeful job of memorizing the words while I played an MP3 in the background during our phone conversation. My patience is running thin because they only remember half of the chorus to Southern Man and hardly any of Heart of GOld. But they finally make it to the Lake Orion Kroger.Once there they cannot find any ice cream cakes.They find ice cream and they find cakes. But no ice cream cakes.I figured if na Ice Cream shop owner (like Eva from Eva's ice Cream) in Michigan cannot figure out how to transform two cakes and half a gallon ice cream into a delicious ice cream cake - there's no way it worth even attempting to do it over a cell phone with two strippers from Detroit.At this point I've spent over three hours trying to get this done and I am ready to give up. I told them it had to be ice cream cake or the deal was off. They insisted that cake and ice cream was a suitable substitute and I was still obligated to go thru with the deal.Sorry, strippers, but that was not the agreement. Several minutes and hundreds of profanities later I turned off my cell and ended the once- flourishing relationship.About that time Charvik calls me on my home phone. I had left him a message several hours earlier to try and help me coordinate the stripper and ice cream cake fiasco. I briefly attempted to enlist his support in obtaining an ice cream cake, but I don't know if you have ever tried communicating with a drunken Norwegian who is barely understandable when sober, but its not pretty. Or productive. He finally hands off the phone to Forrest.I still ahve glimmers of hope that I may somehow pull this off as a surprise, so I have to chat with Forrest and pretend that I am just calling to wish him luck yada yada yada. I finally get his drunk ### off the phone and he gives the receiver to JTC, who is also in town for the festivities. His complete drunkenness makes him even more indecipherable than the drunken Norwegian who first called me. By this time its almost midnight and I decide to give up. I had given it my best shot and failed.Now I see the strippers charged me $375 with a $500 tip for their troubles. That seems excessive since they never delivered cake, took off their clothes or learned any of the Neil young lyrics. I think I may file a dispute over the charges.
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xmas bump, I'm hoping this was in the mailer with cos's xmas cards this year
 
I'm going to be gone for about 2 weeks until after New Years. Should I put the outside Christmas lights away, leave them up and off or put a timer on them? I've got a couple hours to decide.

 
Sweet J said:
Oh, hell, I don't know where else to post this story, so I might as well here. Doesn't really rise to the level of its own thread:Went to a christmas party this weekend with wife and kids (10 yr old boy, 7 yr old girl). When we showed up, there were a gaggle of screaming little girls, maybe between 6-9 years old, buzzing around, talking, giggling, doing whatever little girls do. A couple other families showed up when we did, and the people who were throwing the party told their daughter (2nd grade) and her friends to take our coats upstairs in one of the kids rooms, that they were using as a coat room. The kids took a bunch up, and I didn't get mine off in time, so I carried it upstairs myself.When I got up to the room, there were about 10 girls up in the room, all giggling and tittering and, again, acting like girls. I said hey to them, dropped off my coat, and started to walk out, trying not to step on the rugrats who were EVERYWHERE. As I walked out, one of the kids pointed to a miniature statue of David, that was on the kid's dresser. The girl said something like "my parents got that in Italy," one of the girls pointed at it and said, you can see his weenie, and all the girls laughed. Ha ha, whatever. They all then go running screaming downstairs, on to the next thing that occupies their little pea brains. As I come sauntering down, looking for the drink bar, the girls are all collected in the living room buzzing. One points up the stairs (where I am coming down), and shouts out "We just saw a NAKED guy!!!!" And all the girl burst out laughing.I freeze, about 3 steps from the bottom. Every adult's head in the room snaps up and looks at me. The room is suspended in time for maybe a half a second. And then I head to the bar. My wife is looking at me like I've just eaten a bowl of bugs. I kind of shrug at her and consider asking her if I she minds if I make a Shirley Temple with alcohol in it.I decide against it.
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:yes:Pervert.
 
you ever notice how your balls "breathe"? you know they kinda grow and contract. I can feel it happening in my pants right now. I kinda like it.

 
eoMMan said:
Being in nursing, that shouldn't be hard, no?
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No but she has a pretty good gig. Not to mention that they picked up the bill for my knee surgery, nasal surgery and colonoscopy which saved my about 5 grand. Plus they are clients too.
General Malaise said:
Oh, come on. Really? It's dog food. I mean, I ate it in college because it was open 24 hours and was a quick drive from the fraternity house. But my god....I don't think I'd eat there sober and I don't think any meal I ate went un-vomited. It's gross, man. Just obscenely gross.
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I like it on occasion. :shrug: My Friday nights in high school consisted of party/sex/joint/white castle/3 stooges/more booze. Man I miss those days.
General Malaise said:
GL, GB. :football:
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Thanks GB.
 
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General Malaise said:
You know the one chain that's gone unscathed here that deserves as much criticism as any is Arby's. That place is utterly disgusting.
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Again, just the roast beef for me there, but rarely ever. I was convinced to try the potato cakes from there and to get a combo one day. It was ok, but rather greasy, naturally. I didn't figure out how greasy until I noticed how badly it leaked through the cardboard box, which was soaked thoroughly.Terrible place.
 
the rover said:
Worst

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:lmao: Stage 1: Really trying

Stage 2: Keep trying. You'll recover

Stage 3: F it!

Stage 4: This makes it much easier.

Stage 5: Ow...ow...ow

Stage 6: If I can't do this nobody can.

 
Best line from the cosjobs story

To help pass the time while they drove, I worked with them on the lyrics to Heart of Gold and Southern Man. Turns out they really did not know either song and were doing a woeful job of memorizing the words while I played an MP3 in the background during our phone conversation.
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Someone give HUCKSy a heads up here...

Vagi.nal steam bath finds a place among Southern California spa options

A Korean treatment for the vagi.nal area is said to aid health and fertility. What's missing is evidence.

December 20, 2010

By Sari Heifetz, Special to the Los Angeles Times

Pungent steam rises from a boiling pot of a mugwort tea blended with wormwood and a variety of other herbs. Above it sits a nude woman on an open-seated stool, partaking in a centuries-old Korean remedy that is gaining a toehold in the West.

Vagi.nal steam baths, called chai-yok, are said to reduce stress, fight infections, clear hemorrhoids, regulate menstrual cycles and aid infertility, among many other health benefits. In Korea, many women steam regularly after their monthly periods.

There is folk wisdom — and even some logic — to support the idea that the carefully targeted steam may provide some physiological benefits for women. But there are no studies to document its effectiveness, and few American doctors have even heard of it.

"It sounds like voodoo medicine that sometimes works," said Dr. Vicken Sahakian, medical director of Pacific Fertility Center in Los Angeles.

Niki Han Schwarz believes it worked for her. After five steams, she found she had fewer body aches and more energy. She also became pregnant eight months ago at the age of 45 after attempting to conceive for three years.

Han Schwarz and her husband, orthopedic surgeon Charles Schwarz, are determined to introduce ######l steam baths to Southern California women. Their Santa Monica spa, Tikkun Holistic Spa, offers a 30-minute V-Steam treatment for $50. (The identical treatment is available for men, to steam the perineal area.)

At Daengki Spa in Koreatown, a 45-minute V-Herbal Therapy treatment can be had for $20 a squat. The steam includes a mixture of 14 herbs imported from Korea by spa manager Jin Young. The spa's website claims the treatment will "rid the body of toxins" and help women with menstrual cramps, bladder infections, kidney problems and fertility issues. "It is a traditional Korean health remedy," according to the website.

Across the country, chai-yok treatments are not easy to find. They are available in a scattering of alternative holistic health centers. The flashy Juvenex Spa in Manhattan offers its 30-minute Gyno Spa Cure for $75. A complete setup for a do-it-yourself steam — open-seated stool, boiler and herbs — can be purchased online at http://www.rakuten.com for $330.
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Link
 
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