GM's thread about nothing (32 Viewers)

[Homer J Simpson]

No word from Bentley. I worry that his NO mistress has killed him and stuffed him in a steamer trunk.

I texted you right after I posted in here that I was safely in bed (and while I was trying to get NO girl to send me pictures). Back in Austin but about to head out to Dallas for another meeting.Continuing on the rural theme we have a creek behind our house where we fish and throw rocks. My neighbor also occasionally falls into it when he has had too much to drink.

I'm going to dallas tomorrow as well.

ROAD TRIP!!!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

No word from Bentley. I worry that his NO mistress has killed him and stuffed him in a steamer trunk.

I texted you right after I posted in here that I was safely in bed (and while I was trying to get NO girl to send me pictures). Back in Austin but about to head out to Dallas for another meeting.Continuing on the rural theme we have a creek behind our house where we fish and throw rocks. My neighbor also occasionally falls into it when he has had too much to drink.

I'm going to dallas tomorrow as well.

ROAD TRIP!!!

FOODKING! FOODKING! FOODKING!

 

[Limp Ditka]

No word from Bentley. I worry that his NO mistress has killed him and stuffed him in a steamer trunk.

I texted you right after I posted in here that I was safely in bed (and while I was trying to get NO girl to send me pictures). Back in Austin but about to head out to Dallas for another meeting.Continuing on the rural theme we have a creek behind our house where we fish and throw rocks. My neighbor also occasionally falls into it when he has had too much to drink.

I'm going to dallas tomorrow as well.

ROAD TRIP!!!

FOODKING! FOODKING! FOODKING!

With Abe, you'd be able to hit 3 of them.

Exit 121 for a sandwich

Exit 128 for a bag of chips

Ext 135 for a soda

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Kev > I put San Diego into the starting lineup as they get the Raiders this week. Felt that was a better match-up than Indy or Cle.

Going with 2 QBs again this week. CJ and Trent with the rock. Boldin and Cruz to receive. Do you want to sub James Jones in?

Play Cleveland imo

 

[General Malaise]

Kev > I put San Diego into the starting lineup as they get the Raiders this week. Felt that was a better match-up than Indy or Cle.

Going with 2 QBs again this week. CJ and Trent with the rock. Boldin and Cruz to receive. Do you want to sub James Jones in?

Play Cleveland imo

Kev, you make the call here. I'm ambivalent.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Kev > I put San Diego into the starting lineup as they get the Raiders this week. Felt that was a better match-up than Indy or Cle.

Going with 2 QBs again this week. CJ and Trent with the rock. Boldin and Cruz to receive. Do you want to sub James Jones in?

Play Cleveland imo

Kev, you make the call here. I'm ambivalent.

How do you do it? I've tried using my left hand to write, shoot hoops, etc, and it turns out I'm strictly a rightie.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I hate being a Cincinnati sports fan.

I was rooting for your Reds.

What sucks here is that it's 24/7 Cardinals. Work was dead today and will be the rest of the week. :(

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hypothetically speaking.... suppose you were in a magic football league with some swell guys and gals from the internet and Tanner. Now, lets say when you are going to send the pale-ish commissioner of the league your dues you decide to also send a package of goodies. In the box of goodies, you want to include a tube of ointment that was prescribed to you after you had minor surgery for having a wart removed from your shaft which you got when you contracted HPV which happens to 80% of sexually active men. Again, this is all hypothetical. Anyways, is there potential to have legal issues if you get caught sending a prescribed substance via the US Mail?

TIA, and I will answer your hypothetical questions.

Don't be a pussy. Hypothetically.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Refilled my stock of whiskey today but didn't buy any Old Crow. Because 10 High was only .50 more a bottle! I've had it before mixed, not bad. I was thinking I should invest in about 10 cases of the stuff. Couldn't do worse than most of my investments.

 

[Ignoramus]

No word from Bentley. I worry that his NO mistress has killed him and stuffed him in a steamer trunk.

I texted you right after I posted in here that I was safely in bed (and while I was trying to get NO girl to send me pictures). Back in Austin but about to head out to Dallas for another meeting.Continuing on the rural theme we have a creek behind our house where we fish and throw rocks. My neighbor also occasionally falls into it when he has had too much to drink.

I'm going to dallas tomorrow as well.

I'm going Saturday. We really need to get together and strategize on what direction we want to take this team over the remainder of the season.

 

[General Malaise]

Soccer practice cancelled, fields a swamp, rain still coming down. Wife's two lovely unmarried friends coming over tonight for dinner, one bringing her 12 year old daughter whom I THINK my formerly gay son has a little crush on. Bringing my recently divorced neighbor friend over for male reinforcement as these three gals are of the strong HEAR ME ROAR woman variety (which I actually enjoy). One of them is Bosnian, but moved her as a kid to avoid genocide. Smart gal. Has an advanced degree in anti-terrorism or some such. Also likes Brazilian dancing, bikinis and showing off her butt.

Me? On top of getting good and loaded? I'm cooking burgers on the grill for 'em all. Going back to an old favorite of mine. Will work in some crumbled feta and fresh basil from my garden in with the ground beef avec some other spices - red pepper flakes, black pepper, cumin, paprika maybe some Tony's I dunno - might even throw an egg in there. I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

The only Bosnian I know is really hot too. Serbian? Whatever, something over there.

My job is guzzling a kettle of AIDS today.

 

[Frostillicus]

I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

I would kill for her.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

Hypothetically speaking.... suppose you were in a magic football league with some swell guys and gals from the internet and Tanner. Now, lets say when you are going to send the pale-ish commissioner of the league your dues you decide to also send a package of goodies. In the box of goodies, you want to include a tube of ointment that was prescribed to you after you had minor surgery for having a wart removed from your shaft which you got when you contracted HPV which happens to 80% of sexually active men. Again, this is all hypothetical. Anyways, is there potential to have legal issues if you get caught sending a prescribed substance via the US Mail?

TIA, and I will answer your hypothetical questions.

I doubt the NSA is scanning your mail for **** cream.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Soccer practice cancelled, fields a swamp, rain still coming down. Wife's two lovely unmarried friends coming over tonight for dinner, one bringing her 12 year old daughter whom I THINK my formerly gay son has a little crush on. Bringing my recently divorced neighbor friend over for male reinforcement as these three gals are of the strong HEAR ME ROAR woman variety (which I actually enjoy). One of them is Bosnian, but moved her as a kid to avoid genocide. Smart gal. Has an advanced degree in anti-terrorism or some such. Also likes Brazilian dancing, bikinis and showing off her butt.

Me? On top of getting good and loaded? I'm cooking burgers on the grill for 'em all. Going back to an old favorite of mine. Will work in some crumbled feta and fresh basil from my garden in with the ground beef avec some other spices - red pepper flakes, black pepper, cumin, paprika maybe some Tony's I dunno - might even throw an egg in there. I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

I have a crap load of Basil growing in my garden, smells great in conjunction with the oregano.

We also have about 70,000 Bosnians living here. Just another reason to visit.

 

[T Bell]

Hypothetically speaking.... suppose you were in a magic football league with some swell guys and gals from the internet and Tanner. Now, lets say when you are going to send the pale-ish commissioner of the league your dues you decide to also send a package of goodies. In the box of goodies, you want to include a tube of ointment that was prescribed to you after you had minor surgery for having a wart removed from your shaft which you got when you contracted HPV which happens to 80% of sexually active men. Again, this is all hypothetical. Anyways, is there potential to have legal issues if you get caught sending a prescribed substance via the US Mail?

TIA, and I will answer your hypothetical questions.

Oooh, I wouldn't do that. The USPS has these penis wart medicine scanners just for this sort of thing.

Then again, maybe they're shut down right now because of the whole non-government thing. Hmmmm, tough one.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My 21 YO cousin just texted me seeing if I wanted to hit some strip clubs tonight. ####### kids. <_<

 

[T Bell]

Soccer practice cancelled, fields a swamp, rain still coming down. Wife's two lovely unmarried friends coming over tonight for dinner, one bringing her 12 year old daughter whom I THINK my formerly gay son has a little crush on. Bringing my recently divorced neighbor friend over for male reinforcement as these three gals are of the strong HEAR ME ROAR woman variety (which I actually enjoy). One of them is Bosnian, but moved her as a kid to avoid genocide. Smart gal. Has an advanced degree in anti-terrorism or some such. Also likes Brazilian dancing, bikinis and showing off her butt.

Me? On top of getting good and loaded? I'm cooking burgers on the grill for 'em all. Going back to an old favorite of mine. Will work in some crumbled feta and fresh basil from my garden in with the ground beef avec some other spices - red pepper flakes, black pepper, cumin, paprika maybe some Tony's I dunno - might even throw an egg in there. I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

I have a crap load of Basil growing in my garden, smells great in conjunction with the oregano.

We also have about 70,000 Bosnians living here. Just another reason to visit.

Little Bosnia- come for the basil, stay for the genocide.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Soccer practice cancelled, fields a swamp, rain still coming down. Wife's two lovely unmarried friends coming over tonight for dinner, one bringing her 12 year old daughter whom I THINK my formerly gay son has a little crush on. Bringing my recently divorced neighbor friend over for male reinforcement as these three gals are of the strong HEAR ME ROAR woman variety (which I actually enjoy). One of them is Bosnian, but moved her as a kid to avoid genocide. Smart gal. Has an advanced degree in anti-terrorism or some such. Also likes Brazilian dancing, bikinis and showing off her butt.

Me? On top of getting good and loaded? I'm cooking burgers on the grill for 'em all. Going back to an old favorite of mine. Will work in some crumbled feta and fresh basil from my garden in with the ground beef avec some other spices - red pepper flakes, black pepper, cumin, paprika maybe some Tony's I dunno - might even throw an egg in there. I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

I have a crap load of Basil growing in my garden, smells great in conjunction with the oregano.

We also have about 70,000 Bosnians living here. Just another reason to visit.

Little Bosnia- come for the basil, stay for the genocide.

JFC

 

[Gadzooks]

Hypothetically speaking.... suppose you were in a magic football league with some swell guys and gals from the internet and Tanner. Now, lets say when you are going to send the pale-ish commissioner of the league your dues you decide to also send a package of goodies. In the box of goodies, you want to include a tube of ointment that was prescribed to you after you had minor surgery for having a wart removed from your shaft which you got when you contracted HPV which happens to 80% of sexually active men. Again, this is all hypothetical. Anyways, is there potential to have legal issues if you get caught sending a prescribed substance via the US Mail?

TIA, and I will answer your hypothetical questions.

I doubt the NSA is scanning your mail for **** cream.

What about scandalous pictures of Rue Mcclanahan? You know, hypothetically.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Soccer practice cancelled, fields a swamp, rain still coming down. Wife's two lovely unmarried friends coming over tonight for dinner, one bringing her 12 year old daughter whom I THINK my formerly gay son has a little crush on. Bringing my recently divorced neighbor friend over for male reinforcement as these three gals are of the strong HEAR ME ROAR woman variety (which I actually enjoy). One of them is Bosnian, but moved her as a kid to avoid genocide. Smart gal. Has an advanced degree in anti-terrorism or some such. Also likes Brazilian dancing, bikinis and showing off her butt.

Me? On top of getting good and loaded? I'm cooking burgers on the grill for 'em all. Going back to an old favorite of mine. Will work in some crumbled feta and fresh basil from my garden in with the ground beef avec some other spices - red pepper flakes, black pepper, cumin, paprika maybe some Tony's I dunno - might even throw an egg in there. I can't think of many things that smell better than freshly chopped basil. Maybe the girl in the Tom Petty video?

I thought you ate vegetarian or something?

Sounds good, when should stop by?

 

[Uruk-Hai]

The only Bosnian I know is really hot too. Serbian? Whatever, something over there.

Back in the primordal-ooze days (ca. 1999) of on-line dating, I met a woman through Yahoo personals who was Hungarian and now living in D.C. She was one of the very few who could/would post a picture on her profile. Her picture made it hard to see her face through the cig smoke, but we started chatting and it moved to talking on the phone in a day or two (warp-speed in those days). She had a REALLY thick accent, made stained-glass art for a living, was always drunk and would say so, and about 10 years older than me.

Talking to her on the phone was like conversing with Marlene Detreich imitating Kathleen Turner in "Body Heat".

"Bill! Do you SMOKE?!"

"Bill! What BRAND?!"

"Bill! Are you of an artistic MIND?!"

"Bill! I am DRUNK!!"

I can't recall how it petered out (probably because we were both drunks), but we never met face to face. I have a feeling I'd have been dead somewhere around 2002 if we had gotten together.

 

[Guster]

Hypothetically speaking.... suppose you were in a magic football league with some swell guys and gals from the internet and Tanner. Now, lets say when you are going to send the pale-ish commissioner of the league your dues you decide to also send a package of goodies. In the box of goodies, you want to include a tube of ointment that was prescribed to you after you had minor surgery for having a wart removed from your shaft which you got when you contracted HPV which happens to 80% of sexually active men. Again, this is all hypothetical. Anyways, is there potential to have legal issues if you get caught sending a prescribed substance via the US Mail?

TIA, and I will answer your hypothetical questions.

If hypothetically your co-owner happened to mail some unused pills to a fellow FBGer and we both ended up in the slammer, would anyone watch our awesome team for us??

 

[Tecumseh]

Christmas is coming?

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/crs/4070931279.html

 

[Abraham]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

 

[kevzilla]

Christmas is coming?

http://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/crs/4070931279.html

We do not need volunteers so please do not inquire.

 

[-fish-]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

:related:

who changed this guy's name?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

My 21 YO cousin just texted me seeing if I wanted to hit some strip clubs tonight. ####### kids. <_<

What time you goin?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

[FBG]20,000 every two weeks? That's rough, bro.[/FBG]

 

[kevzilla]

Kev > I put San Diego into the starting lineup as they get the Raiders this week. Felt that was a better match-up than Indy or Cle.

Going with 2 QBs again this week. CJ and Trent with the rock. Boldin and Cruz to receive. Do you want to sub James Jones in?

Play Cleveland imo

Kev, you make the call here. I'm ambivalent.

Pryor back for the Raiders, not as good a play. Plus, defenses generally play better at home. Went with Bobby Sac's recommendation here. Love you, though.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

:related:

who changed this guy's name?

that happened a long, long time ago.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My 21 YO cousin just texted me seeing if I wanted to hit some strip clubs tonight. ####### kids. <_<

What time you goin?

I have a conference call at 7 then have to pick the boys up at Scouts at 8. Plus it's REALLY they are really from our house now. Plus I don't go to strip clubs unless it's a bachelor party or I have Mrs. SLB with me anymore. Never really went to begin with. When chicks are trying to scam me, I like it to be believable.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

:related:

who changed this guy's name?

that happened a long, long time ago.

I can still remember how the -fish-ing used to make me smile.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

My 21 YO cousin just texted me seeing if I wanted to hit some strip clubs tonight. ####### kids. <_<

What time you goin?

I have a conference call at 7 then have to pick the boys up at Scouts at 8. Plus it's REALLY they are really from our house now. Plus I don't go to strip clubs unless it's a bachelor party or I have Mrs. SLB with me anymore. Never really went to begin with. When chicks are trying to scam me, I like it to be believable.

This is all code for, "I don't go to East St. Louis. That's where the black people live."

 

[St. Louis Bob]

This no drinking stuff isn't all that bad. Cal spent the night at his GB's and that little jack off Dylan woke me up at 7:30. We took a 4 mile walk together first. Then we came home and kicked the soccer ball around. After that was a game of checkers even though he wants me to teach him chess. Then to the hardware store and lunch at Steak N Shake after that. Now he has a soccer game. I'm telling you no way do I get this much stuff done with a hangover.

Pretty sure Steak N Shake kids working are scamming too. It was 11:00 so they were very slow and it took the kid almost 4 minutes to give me my total. This doesn't happen if you put the order into the computer and of course there wasn't a receipt. Plus my one kid's meal and one burger with a cheese fry was wrong too. I called and they are giving me a $25 gift card. Of course I e-mailed corporate about it too. GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

Received a $25 gift card and a $15 gift card.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My 21 YO cousin just texted me seeing if I wanted to hit some strip clubs tonight. ####### kids. <_<

What time you goin?

I have a conference call at 7 then have to pick the boys up at Scouts at 8. Plus it's REALLY they are really from our house now. Plus I don't go to strip clubs unless it's a bachelor party or I have Mrs. SLB with me anymore. Never really went to begin with. When chicks are trying to scam me, I like it to be believable.

This is all code for, "I don't go to East St. Louis. That's where the black people live."

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I'm sure I told this story before but back when the Alton Belle Casino was the only game in town, and I worked downtown, a buddy and myself left work in rush to make the cruise. We decided to dodge the traffic by going through Illinois and I took the wrong exit and we ended up in E.STL. The 30 seconds we were there and stopped trying to figure out where to go, at least 10 people came walking up to the car from every direction. I stomped on the gas and GTF out of there. It was a little scary to say the least.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Too uppity for the east side.

 

[T Bell]

This is pretty f'ing cool.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I'm going to the grocery store this evening, which I generally hate to do. But I did find that my employer has been overcharging me for health care by $50/month (dental and vision for the family, which I declined). So after my next paycheck my net base pay will finally/barely start with a 2. So I'm happy about that. Nevermind that 12 months ago it started with a 3. Whatever. Don't care. Glad to have a job I like. Off to the grocery store.

:related:

who changed this guy's name?

that happened a long, long time ago.

I can still remember how the -fish-ing used to make me smile.

and I knew if I had the chance, I could make the knuckles dance and maybe she'd been sane-ish for awhile.

 

[Guster]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

 

[kevzilla]

My friends do not resemble Guster's in any way.

Shot video, please.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Too uppity for the east side.

True. We northsiders are known for our sophistication.

 

[Frostillicus]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.

Yeah, I think having sex with the bachelorette is probably the way to go here.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

While I'm grateful GM sent me $2,060, he still owes me $25.

Was curious if you - like TANAC - would prefer $25 worth of craft wines or some random pills or something.

You sending me coupons, Jeep?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I have some interesting/crazy news.

Remember my buddy that got arrested for supposedly pointing a rifle at a cop. The case was thrown out. Great news. I've known him and his wife for over 20 years. They were both great at school and were as straight as good be. Bad news is GB is a teacher and lost his job until another hearing where he now has to prove his innocence. Something like that, doesn't sound right to me but I'm getting this second hand. So the case was thrown out because their was lack of evidence and this cop has a record of doing something crooked ####. How he is on the force, I don't know. He isn't even a cop around here, he's from back in the old hood. So after the hearing, GB's wife hears this cop tell a copy from around here "you need to find something, there's something you can find to charge this guy right?". She immediately reported it and now there is a #### storm of investigations into the local police department. The crazy thing is that these are the guys that were "investigating" my nephew's "death". I can't say much but the lead guy in his case is no longer on the force. Crazy.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

 

[Hawks64]

Hey Thorn, congrats, just noticed.

Can you share with those of us not the FB friends with him?

 

[Guster]

So a friend is hosting a bachelorette party this weekend for one of her friends that I don't know. They will be out bar hopping and have a party bus driving them around most of the night. My friend asked me to meet up with them right before the last hour (1-2a) with some pizzas to help make sure they aren't too drunk to keep things going.

Other than pretending to be a stripper, any shtick suggestions?

Cut hole in the bottom of the pizza box.