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GM's thread about nothing (38 Viewers)

Started to get a little tickle in my throat around 6pm Christmas Eve, but thought it was just something in the air since I was at the in-laws with approximately 6 dogs, 3 cats, and 2 birds. By midnight I'm hacking like crazy and my throat feels like a cheese grater has been used on it. Temperature has been over 100 since then and has peaked at just under 103. I missed Christmas dinner with my family, have been in the bed for the last 50 hours except for a trip to confirm I have the flu for the first time in my life, and haven't consumed probably a 1000 calories in the last three days.

 
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
  • Woz is pregnant.
  • Abe broke the innernet.
  • Kevzilla fixed it.
  • Cosjobs' poodle got real stoned and ate more than the tip of a raw pork butt.
  • Tanner's racist kids got him tossed out of Hung Far Low, a low-end Chinese buffet where they celebrate the birth of Christ with limitless Mongolian Beef and mocking the Asian people by doing Chinese Fire Drills inside the restaurant. Tanner's grandmother paid for it all. She's 138 by my count.
  • Krista sold her house in Atlanta, headed out west to Gig Harbor, got lost in what she thought was fog, but was really the exhaled vapors from Rover. She landed on here feet, though, finding a gas station that lets you pump your own wine.
  • Many gifts were sent, many packages arrived. Keys Myaths body parts were in none of them.
  • There were shot videos. All of them were epic.
  • Tiger is an anti-fatite. He called Stryker fat and then threw a bunch of day-old food away for lack of space in his freezer. If only there was a way to make new ice...
  • Thorn reported Willie Nelson to the IRS. The IRS opened a case file as thick as Guster's diary and said "We'll add this to the list and get back to you".
  • CQ posted a picture of his hand holding a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup the size of YSR's liver. It was titled "Thorn Porn" on imageshack. I laughed.
  • Shuke is one step closer to his ultimate dream of becoming a real-life bobble head doll figure. But instead of swinging a bat, he's inhaling an inverted pizza.
  • UNI shaved himself down to respectability and has been getting more assssss than a Disco Stu Look-a-Like convention.
  • Bentley was invited to a hot 23 year old's roller-skating birthday party but passed on it to spend time with his sons drinking morning beers at Chuck E Cheese. Homer got in his car to drive down to Texas to beat him senseless, but was thwarted by a lack of ambition and Interlock.
  • Uruk went to visit his dad who lives in a home where everyday is a White Elephant Gift Exchange. Every. Day. He smashed into a deer on the way back. It didn't die. It knows where UH lives and is gathering a posse of angry birds, rabid rodents and hostile holiday white trash shoppers to extract revenge.
  • Knowing SLB is more dangerous than downtown Memphis. Rumor is that if you lift the hood on the Grim Reaper, you'll see Darth Vader's dome with a replica of Nina Hartley's vulva running north-south.
  • Today is the biggest day in Minnesota Golden Gopher sports history as our football heroes take on Syracuse in the Albert Oaks Perfectly Rebranded Health Center for Unhealthy People Texas Bowl. Frosty and Tre started drinking in 1989 in anticipation.
  • Mr. Pack needed technical support for a project. Shuke came to his rescue. Not. Shtick.
 
This whole deleting the GMTAN thing was an elaborate attempt to stiff me and stryker out of our second place winnings, wasn't it?

WE NEED THAT MONEY FOR BOOZE!!!

 
-fish- said:
Gadzooks said:
-fish- said:
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
What exactly was his gift?
Click to expand...
A hilarious party gameJoke gift box

Freeze pops (extreme sour, good choice)

Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits

Nude pics from the FBG xmas party
Click to expand...
so you were masturbating to lionel richie's greatest hits?
Click to expand...
Have a couple freeze pops, listen to "Ballerina Girl" or "Do It To Me" and try NOT to masturbate.

 
-fish- said:
so you were masturbating to lionel richie's greatest hits?
Click to expand...
If you've never done this, you're a self love amateur. Block out a day when you won't be disturbed, put a towel over the good satin sheets, and get ready for the smoothness.You start the appetizer course of your jerk session with Hello, as you try different keywords to get you where you need to be. Oh, hello. As a matter of fact, it was you that I was looking for. And as we search through the other ladies in the album, track 2 reminds our new friend that, just like me, they long to be close to you. And just when you're worried she might say no, the soft dulcet tones of the commodores lubricate your imaginary tryst with a reminder that she's easy.

So you light a candle, and check the temperature of the lotion as you take it out of the microwave, while the commodores remind her that she's once, twice, three times a lady, despite the very unladylike things she's doing in the pictures at the end of the album. And as you click the video link, the Commodores ask, Still? Oh yes, you say. All Night Long (all night). All night (all night). Because when you break out the Lionel Richie - the Definitite Collection, this isn't a one time affair. You're planning a session of Endless Love.

When you finish round one, take your time. When the Cinnabon on your hand is about to go from icing to liquid, get up, grab a kleenex, and go make a sandwich and a glass of juice before you invite yourself back to bed. Don't forget to switch to baby lotion so you don't chafe. Then start browsing through your favorites menu. Maybe you hit up the cage because you're a Penny Lover. Maybe you break out a magazine (but be careful she doesn't get Stuck on You). Whatever it takes to get that magic back so you can Do It To Me One More Time. Which, frankly, hits a note that Captain and Tenille never could. And so you watch your Ballerina Girl and her Angel, reaching one last glorious crescendo watching them show you how To Love A Woman, before you delete your browser history and say Goodbye.

 
General Malaise said:
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
  • Tanner's racist kids got him tossed out of Hung Far Low, a low-end Chinese buffet where they celebrate the birth of Christ with limitless Mongolian Beef and mocking the Asian people by doing Chinese Fire Drills inside the restaurant. Tanner's grandmother paid for it all. She's 138 by my count.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

 
General Malaise said:
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
  • Woz is pregnant.
  • Abe broke the innernet.
  • Kevzilla fixed it.
  • Cosjobs' poodle got real stoned and ate more than the tip of a raw pork butt.
  • Tanner's racist kids got him tossed out of Hung Far Low, a low-end Chinese buffet where they celebrate the birth of Christ with limitless Mongolian Beef and mocking the Asian people by doing Chinese Fire Drills inside the restaurant. Tanner's grandmother paid for it all. She's 138 by my count.
  • Krista sold her house in Atlanta, headed out west to Gig Harbor, got lost in what she thought was fog, but was really the exhaled vapors from Rover. She landed on here feet, though, finding a gas station that lets you pump your own wine.
  • Many gifts were sent, many packages arrived. Keys Myaths body parts were in none of them.
  • There were shot videos. All of them were epic.
  • Tiger is an anti-fatite. He called Stryker fat and then threw a bunch of day-old food away for lack of space in his freezer. If only there was a way to make new ice...
  • Thorn reported Willie Nelson to the IRS. The IRS opened a case file as thick as Guster's diary and said "We'll add this to the list and get back to you".
  • CQ posted a picture of his hand holding a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup the size of YSR's liver. It was titled "Thorn Porn" on imageshack. I laughed.
  • Shuke is one step closer to his ultimate dream of becoming a real-life bobble head doll figure. But instead of swinging a bat, he's inhaling an inverted pizza.
  • UNI shaved himself down to respectability and has been getting more assssss than a Disco Stu Look-a-Like convention.
  • Bentley was invited to a hot 23 year old's roller-skating birthday party but passed on it to spend time with his sons drinking morning beers at Chuck E Cheese. Homer got in his car to drive down to Texas to beat him senseless, but was thwarted by a lack of ambition and Interlock.
  • Uruk went to visit his dad who lives in a home where everyday is a White Elephant Gift Exchange. Every. Day. He smashed into a deer on the way back. It didn't die. It knows where UH lives and is gathering a posse of angry birds, rabid rodents and hostile holiday white trash shoppers to extract revenge.
  • Knowing SLB is more dangerous than downtown Memphis. Rumor is that if you lift the hood on the Grim Reaper, you'll see Darth Vader's dome with a replica of Nina Hartley's vulva running north-south.
  • Today is the biggest day in Minnesota Golden Gopher sports history as our football heroes take on Syracuse in the Albert Oaks Perfectly Rebranded Health Center for Unhealthy People Texas Bowl. Frosty and Tre started drinking in 1989 in anticipation.
  • Mr. Pack needed technical support for a project. Shuke came to his rescue. Not. Shtick.
Click to expand...
:lmao:

Officer Pete Malloy said:
General Malaise said:
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
  • Tanner's racist kids got him tossed out of Hung Far Low, a low-end Chinese buffet where they celebrate the birth of Christ with limitless Mongolian Beef and mocking the Asian people by doing Chinese Fire Drills inside the restaurant. Tanner's grandmother paid for it all. She's 138 by my count.
Click to expand...
:lmao:
Click to expand...
Easily my favorite with finding a gas station that lets you pump your own wine coming in second. :lmao:

 
I was running game with the too young for me, too old for Homer, gal at the bowling alley. She was laughing. A lot. I could feel her eyes massage my taught buttocks as we were walking away. It made me feel so used.

We settle in to bowl and I ordered a Manhattan. I don't know why, just something a little different. The waitress asks to see my ID. :mellow: I reach for my clip but then take a good look at her and say, "I'm older than you are. Not just by a little bit either." She smiles and insists. I then notice her and young girl having a conversation while occasionally glancing in my direction.

I've had enough. Women need to show some respect to men. We're not just a piece of meat.

 
bostonfred said:
-fish- said:
so you were masturbating to lionel richie's greatest hits?
Click to expand...
If you've never done this, you're a self love amateur. Block out a day when you won't be disturbed, put a towel over the good satin sheets, and get ready for the smoothness.You start the appetizer course of your jerk session with Hello, as you try different keywords to get you where you need to be. Oh, hello. As a matter of fact, it was you that I was looking for. And as we search through the other ladies in the album, track 2 reminds our new friend that, just like me, they long to be close to you. And just when you're worried she might say no, the soft dulcet tones of the commodores lubricate your imaginary tryst with a reminder that she's easy.

So you light a candle, and check the temperature of the lotion as you take it out of the microwave, while the commodores remind her that she's once, twice, three times a lady, despite the very unladylike things she's doing in the pictures at the end of the album. And as you click the video link, the Commodores ask, Still? Oh yes, you say. All Night Long (all night). All night (all night). Because when you break out the Lionel Richie - the Definitite Collection, this isn't a one time affair. You're planning a session of Endless Love.

When you finish round one, take your time. When the Cinnabon on your hand is about to go from icing to liquid, get up, grab a kleenex, and go make a sandwich and a glass of juice before you invite yourself back to bed. Don't forget to switch to baby lotion so you don't chafe. Then start browsing through your favorites menu. Maybe you hit up the cage because you're a Penny Lover. Maybe you break out a magazine (but be careful she doesn't get Stuck on You). Whatever it takes to get that magic back so you can Do It To Me One More Time. Which, frankly, hits a note that Captain and Tenille never could. And so you watch your Ballerina Girl and her Angel, reaching one last glorious crescendo watching them show you how To Love A Woman, before you delete your browser history and say Goodbye.
Click to expand...
Its like you're right here with me.

Say You....Say Me

 
Me too. I've been laying on the couch with a beer in my hand and a gun to my mouth or something like that ever since homer threatened my life.

 
Gadzooks said:
-fish- said:
Maybe this should have been deleted.
Click to expand...
Don't be scared, embrace it. Wouldn't you rather we talk about jacking off to Lionel Richie music then have Truck or Fat Stryker be posting Miley Cyrus lyrics?
Click to expand...
Party in the USA might be the greatest song of our generation. The sooner everyone accepts this the better off we'll be as a nation.

:yes: <-- :noddinmyheadlikeyeah:

 
Last edited by a moderator:
strykerpks said:
Gadzooks said:
-fish- said:
Maybe this should have been deleted.
Click to expand...
Don't be scared, embrace it. Wouldn't you rather we talk about jacking off to Lionel Richie music then have Truck or Fat Stryker be posting Miley Cyrus lyrics?
Click to expand...
Party in the USA might be the greatest song of our generation. The sooner everyone accepts this the better off we'll be as a nation.:noddinmyheadlikeyeah:
Click to expand...
No way not to turn that song up

 
General Malaise said:
Gadzooks said:
Quite a day. I got Aaron's SS gift and I've been masturbating. Anything new around here?
Click to expand...
  • Woz is pregnant.
  • Abe broke the innernet.
  • Kevzilla fixed it.
  • Cosjobs' poodle got real stoned and ate more than the tip of a raw pork butt.
  • Tanner's racist kids got him tossed out of Hung Far Low, a low-end Chinese buffet where they celebrate the birth of Christ with limitless Mongolian Beef and mocking the Asian people by doing Chinese Fire Drills inside the restaurant. Tanner's grandmother paid for it all. She's 138 by my count.
  • Krista sold her house in Atlanta, headed out west to Gig Harbor, got lost in what she thought was fog, but was really the exhaled vapors from Rover. She landed on here feet, though, finding a gas station that lets you pump your own wine.
  • Many gifts were sent, many packages arrived. Keys Myaths body parts were in none of them.
  • There were shot videos. All of them were epic.
  • Tiger is an anti-fatite. He called Stryker fat and then threw a bunch of day-old food away for lack of space in his freezer. If only there was a way to make new ice...
  • Thorn reported Willie Nelson to the IRS. The IRS opened a case file as thick as Guster's diary and said "We'll add this to the list and get back to you".
  • CQ posted a picture of his hand holding a Reeses Peanut Butter Cup the size of YSR's liver. It was titled "Thorn Porn" on imageshack. I laughed.
  • Shuke is one step closer to his ultimate dream of becoming a real-life bobble head doll figure. But instead of swinging a bat, he's inhaling an inverted pizza.
  • UNI shaved himself down to respectability and has been getting more assssss than a Disco Stu Look-a-Like convention.
  • Bentley was invited to a hot 23 year old's roller-skating birthday party but passed on it to spend time with his sons drinking morning beers at Chuck E Cheese. Homer got in his car to drive down to Texas to beat him senseless, but was thwarted by a lack of ambition and Interlock.
  • Uruk went to visit his dad who lives in a home where everyday is a White Elephant Gift Exchange. Every. Day. He smashed into a deer on the way back. It didn't die. It knows where UH lives and is gathering a posse of angry birds, rabid rodents and hostile holiday white trash shoppers to extract revenge.
  • Knowing SLB is more dangerous than downtown Memphis. Rumor is that if you lift the hood on the Grim Reaper, you'll see Darth Vader's dome with a replica of Nina Hartley's vulva running north-south.
  • Today is the biggest day in Minnesota Golden Gopher sports history as our football heroes take on Syracuse in the Albert Oaks Perfectly Rebranded Health Center for Unhealthy People Texas Bowl. Frosty and Tre started drinking in 1989 in anticipation.
  • Mr. Pack needed technical support for a project. Shuke came to his rescue. Not. Shtick.
Click to expand...
:lmao: Epic

 
Aaron Rudnicki said:
Hands Up!
Click to expand...
Btw, I forgot to add that I got the screaming monkey today. I had one before but somehow lost it. Little Zooks thinks its a xmas miracle that a new monkey came in the mail today. RudnickiClaus is keeping the magical Christmas spirit alive in the Gadzooks house!

I love you

 
I somehow forgot to mention that my first attempt at bowling, I slipped and fell down. I guess it jarred something loose because I had to try pretty hard not to poop myself. Followed that gutter ball up with another gutter ball. The girls were swooning, my boys looked at me with awe and admiration. Mrs. SLB had tears of happiness in her eyes.

 
St. Louis Bob said:
I somehow forgot to mention that my first attempt at bowling, I slipped and fell down. I guess it jarred something loose because I had to try pretty hard not to poop myself. Followed that gutter ball up with another gutter ball. The girls were swooning, my boys looked at me with awe and admiration. Mrs. SLB had tears of happiness in her eyes.
Click to expand...
Do baby giraffes look you up for lessons on how to walk less awkwardly?

 
Got my SS gift from TF today.

The XL shirts fit just fine, thank you very much, and are actually quite a bit roomy. :thumbup:

2 Brewers pint glasses

3 Abita beers (Amber, Purple Haze, Turbodog) which I will be enjoying tonight

2 ceramic? Xmas ornaments, one the Coshole '13 logo and the other with Shuke shaving in the lake (that was fun explaining to the wife :lmao: )

Ceramic? coaster with the letter "K"

Several empty ice bags and twist ties

Wisconsin T shirt

Abita Nike golf polo

Nice work TF! Thanks much!!

 
T Bell said:
St. Louis Bob said:
I somehow forgot to mention that my first attempt at bowling, I slipped and fell down. I guess it jarred something loose because I had to try pretty hard not to poop myself. Followed that gutter ball up with another gutter ball. The girls were swooning, my boys looked at me with awe and admiration. Mrs. SLB had tears of happiness in her eyes.
Click to expand...
Do baby giraffes look you up for lessons on how to walk less awkwardly?
Click to expand...
Dogs asked me how to give puppy dog eyes.

 
strykerpks said:
Got my SS gift from TF today.

The XL shirts fit just fine, thank you very much, and are actually quite a bit roomy. :thumbup:

2 Brewers pint glasses

3 Abita beers (Amber, Purple Haze, Turbodog) which I will be enjoying tonight

2 ceramic? Xmas ornaments, one the Coshole '13 logo and the other with Shuke shaving in the lake (that was fun explaining to the wife :lmao: )

Ceramic? coaster with the letter "K"

Several empty ice bags and twist ties

Wisconsin T shirt

Abita Nike golf polo

Nice work TF! Thanks much!!
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:

 
strykerpks said:
Gadzooks said:
-fish- said:
Maybe this should have been deleted.
Click to expand...
Don't be scared, embrace it. Wouldn't you rather we talk about jacking off to Lionel Richie music then have Truck or Fat Stryker be posting Miley Cyrus lyrics?
Click to expand...
Party in the USA might be the greatest song of our generation. The sooner everyone accepts this the better off we'll be as a nation. :yes: <-- :noddinmyheadlikeyeah:
Click to expand...
Guess I didn't get the memo

 
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