GM's thread about nothing (11 Viewers)

[Homer J Simpson]

I've been following this show on the GMTAN channel and since I've studied nothing most of my life, I felt qualified to make some predictions on how the thread about nothing would turn out so I felt I'd make some predictions

Spoiler

Officer Pete Malloy is cast as comic relief, but his humor vacillates between that of a 5 year old and that of a 90 year old. I predict that he'll hate something in the near future, post some links to imgur gifs (cat or not cat related) and respond to this post with a beautiful photo of a sunset and the word C*nt in small, opaque print somewhere.

The Bob character from St. Louis is the lovable best friend that everyone wants to know - kind of. He's a super friendly guy who goes out of his way on-line and IRL to make us feel like we're part of the family. He regales us with stories about his wife Pepper or his two hilarious children. There's even a vague sexiness to his forehead gash, but look out. Don't get too close, because strange fatal accidents seem to befall anyone in his inner circle. Best to just remain acquaintances. I predict he lives a long life, constantly on the edge of threesomes and swingers parties, as his friends continue to meet even more strange and bizarre ends.

K4 and YSR provide the eye candy for this show, but are not to be confused with each other. K4 is perpetually having birthdays while YSR is perpetually giving birth. K4 owns wineries. YSR drinks wineries. K4 is the harbinger of natural disaster, though. You don't want her moving into your town. YSR continues to tease me about her friend in pink pants. I predict that YSR is so happy Romo returns that she gets pregnant again while still pregnant. I predict that K4 will cause a tsunami while making naan in her new brick pizza oven.

-fish-, Zooks and Guster are the three musketeers of dating. The writers have provided us with tons of excellent material about their various hi-jinx in the world of single dads, from crazy-ex's to drunken teachers to Chicago girls, these three have done it all. I predict that one of them will eventually find 'the one' to fingerbang while the other two probably continue to date and retain their happiness. Also, odds being what they are, 1-2 of them are likely to contract genital warts.

Tre and Frosty are the loveable northern duo reminiscent of Bob and Doug or Lenny and Squiggy. I predict escalation from meat raffles to where they are attending full blown cattle auctions. These cattle will be treated with essential oils and their hides will be sold as hats on Etsy.

I predict Sweet J will eventually come back with an update.

bAbe is some kind of blogger/entrepreneur/homeless person. Not a lot of character development on this one. I predict that something will happen to him while wearing a sweater vest. Incrementally.

The Aaron character is like the cop buddy that everyone has. Gives a little information from time to time, but keeps the show's characters in line for the most part. Generally thought of as a good guy, I predict that he'll be kidnapped by werewolves and have to lynch his fellow villagers in an attempt to escape.

The show's namesake GM is a father figure to the folks on the show. A shiny, stoned, pale father figure living the dream. He's already hit rock bottom and is well on the upswing. I predict that he'll take at least 2-3 more sister wives, buy a Rite-Aid and eventually be lost in a freak, April blizzard in the pacific northwest, never to be found again.

Bob Sacamano is kind of the author-in-the-story. He keeps viewers up to date on the latest goings-on in the show, breaks the fourth wall to commiserate with the audience and provide regular comic relief (for the 6-89 year old set). I predict he will go to Vegas in September sporting some fancy salmon shorts, get his head licked and this time not take down his hard 4 bet.

Spoiler

How'd I do?

Spoiler

Do they give Pulitzers for literary critique?

Dammit. I had a HJS synopsis in my head too. Not enough coffee.It's ok that you don't care about me.

 

[heckmanm]

Anyone else watch the "World Wars" shows on History and think Stalin looked an awful lot like Ron Burgundy?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I've been following this show on the GMTAN channel and since I've studied nothing most of my life, I felt qualified to make some predictions on how the thread about nothing would turn out so I felt I'd make some predictions

Spoiler

Officer Pete Malloy is cast as comic relief, but his humor vacillates between that of a 5 year old and that of a 90 year old. I predict that he'll hate something in the near future, post some links to imgur gifs (cat or not cat related) and respond to this post with a beautiful photo of a sunset and the word C*nt in small, opaque print somewhere.

The Bob character from St. Louis is the lovable best friend that everyone wants to know - kind of. He's a super friendly guy who goes out of his way on-line and IRL to make us feel like we're part of the family. He regales us with stories about his wife Pepper or his two hilarious children. There's even a vague sexiness to his forehead gash, but look out. Don't get too close, because strange fatal accidents seem to befall anyone in his inner circle. Best to just remain acquaintances. I predict he lives a long life, constantly on the edge of threesomes and swingers parties, as his friends continue to meet even more strange and bizarre ends.

K4 and YSR provide the eye candy for this show, but are not to be confused with each other. K4 is perpetually having birthdays while YSR is perpetually giving birth. K4 owns wineries. YSR drinks wineries. K4 is the harbinger of natural disaster, though. You don't want her moving into your town. YSR continues to tease me about her friend in pink pants. I predict that YSR is so happy Romo returns that she gets pregnant again while still pregnant. I predict that K4 will cause a tsunami while making naan in her new brick pizza oven.

-fish-, Zooks and Guster are the three musketeers of dating. The writers have provided us with tons of excellent material about their various hi-jinx in the world of single dads, from crazy-ex's to drunken teachers to Chicago girls, these three have done it all. I predict that one of them will eventually find 'the one' to fingerbang while the other two probably continue to date and retain their happiness. Also, odds being what they are, 1-2 of them are likely to contract genital warts.

Tre and Frosty are the loveable northern duo reminiscent of Bob and Doug or Lenny and Squiggy. I predict escalation from meat raffles to where they are attending full blown cattle auctions. These cattle will be treated with essential oils and their hides will be sold as hats on Etsy.

I predict Sweet J will eventually come back with an update.

bAbe is some kind of blogger/entrepreneur/homeless person. Not a lot of character development on this one. I predict that something will happen to him while wearing a sweater vest. Incrementally.

The Aaron character is like the cop buddy that everyone has. Gives a little information from time to time, but keeps the show's characters in line for the most part. Generally thought of as a good guy, I predict that he'll be kidnapped by werewolves and have to lynch his fellow villagers in an attempt to escape.

The show's namesake GM is a father figure to the folks on the show. A shiny, stoned, pale father figure living the dream. He's already hit rock bottom and is well on the upswing. I predict that he'll take at least 2-3 more sister wives, buy a Rite-Aid and eventually be lost in a freak, April blizzard in the pacific northwest, never to be found again.

Bob Sacamano is kind of the author-in-the-story. He keeps viewers up to date on the latest goings-on in the show, breaks the fourth wall to commiserate with the audience and provide regular comic relief (for the 6-89 year old set). I predict he will go to Vegas in September sporting some fancy salmon shorts, get his head licked and this time not take down his hard 4 bet.

Spoiler

How'd I do?

The Homer character is combination Kramer/Sam Malone/Alf/Fonzie/Betty White/Rust Cole who ends up getting arrested in a Chris Hansen sting.

This is surprisingly true-to-life. I wear many hats.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

What an absurd time to be awake and "on."

I'm taking a nap. The only good part about it was that the animal rescue people were on after us so I got to pet a couple puppies.

We just going to let this slide?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Look at the fan boys coming out of the wood works... I won't ##### this thread up with predictions because honestly I was focusing as much on consuming bourbon as I was on the show, but I feel like I have a general idea of where this season is trying to take things

If it helps, I have received a fair amount of training in story telling from movie script writers and storytelling experts as part of my job

I would absolutely love to hear your theories. No shtick. And I won't make fun if/when you're wrong.

Ok, I'm sure not all of this is right, but here's what I've got

Spoiler

The girl that shot the arrow in the first episode is going to be important but probably not until next season or the one after. The boy that was pushed out the window will be somewhat important too down the road, but probably not as important as the girl will eventually be.

The king is going to die because, well, they aren't doing a ton to build depth to his character. I'm guessing he'll be used to move the plot along and his death, while not entirely shocking will set off some chain reaction of events

Ned is the hero of this season. They are spending a lot of time on him and his family. That means he has to go through some epic struggle that he overcomes to reveal a greater morality/lesson. I would say that he dies defending the king, but they haven't made me care enough about the king to accept that. I think people will want Ned to be king, but the king has that weasely son that is somehow going to mess things up for the good guys. I think Ned's kids will be compelled into action in future seasons, so something has to happen to Ned to get them there. I can see the first season ending with him getting captured by the king's killers and maybe in season two a couple of his sons try to rescue him.... But I'm getting ahead of myself here

Oh and something is up with the queen and those eggs. It's rather obnoxious how she keeps looking at them while she's getting railed. I have no clue why I should care about it, but they are being very intentional with how much camera time they are giving the eggs. I have a feeling that I'm not going to care for whatever they do with that part of the story line.

Spoiler

How'd i do?

So something will happen with all of the characters they've shown?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

This kid is costing me sleep and he's not out of the womb yet. ~3 hours last night from the wife tossing and stealing sheets all night. I'm seeing a sleep specialist today for my apnea. He's going to think I'm dying.

Oh boy. You think it's bad now?

Yeah, this won't end well.

 

[Annyong]

My phone screen has been smashed for like 6 months. I'm too lazy to go Naperville and fix it.

 

[Frostillicus]

My phone screen has been smashed for like 6 months. I'm too lazy to go Naperville and fix it.

Too lazy or too scared?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Does "go to Naperville" mean something now?

 

[Annyong]

Does "go to Naperville" mean something now?

I don't think so, it's just the closest Groupon to me.

 

[mr roboto]

Once one goes Naperville, they never go back.

 

[Annyong]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

WTF is going on with your big toe? Big toe gout?

 

[mr roboto]

True story: my former neighbor got a divorce. I live in a wealthy area but our neighborhood is more middle class than the surrounding neighborhoods. His wife was a housewife who wanted to live in Naperville cause all their friends' husbands bought big McMansions for their wives in Naperville. He didn't want to live there. She left him and married a Napervillian and now he's single, in a band, and living it up.

tl;dr Naperville causes divorce.

 

[Henry Ford]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

Is that your dong pressed against it on the left?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Amazon has everything you need.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=replace%20phone%20screen

 

[Sammy3469]

Amazon has everything you need.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=replace%20phone%20screen

That's probably more effort than "going to Naperville"

 

[Annyong]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

Is that your dong pressed against it on the left?

Basically

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Amazon has everything you need.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=replace%20phone%20screen

That's probably more effort than "going to Naperville"

Your face is more effort.

 

[Annyong]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

WTF is going on with your big toe? Big toe gout?

I run a lot. I have ugly calluses on some of my toes. It's not like I'm gonna take a pumice rock to them or anything

 

[strykerpks]

Amazon has everything you need.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=replace%20phone%20screen

Guy cant even assemble a bike. You expect him to take this on?

 

[Henry Ford]

I bought my gf a beach cruiser bike from some little shop in California but I'm pretty sure they it just got shipped from some warehouse in China and I have to assemble it. Of course the GD front fork isn't right and the wheel doesn't fit perfectly in the middle. I don't know maybe I was doing something wrong,

Seriously, this is how it looks w/ the fender off. What a pain in the penis. Yes I have ugly feet.

Is that your dong pressed against it on the left?

Basically

You should wear a banana hammock or something while you're doing mechanic work.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Amazon has everything you need.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=replace%20phone%20screen

Guy cant even assemble a bike. You expect him to take this on?

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[Annyong]

suck it. The wheel was already attached to the fork when it arrived.

 

[Sammy3469]

suck it. The wheel was already attached to the fork when it arrived.

Have fun boxing it back up to send it back...O/U of 6 weeks

 

[belljr]

Once you put the fender on you can't tell.

are you sure both sides of the axle are positioned right

 

[Captain Quinoa]

trim that big toe nail you pteradactyl

 

[Henry Ford]

suck it. The wheel was already attached to the fork when it arrived.

That's your excuse for working with your johnson out?

 

[Annyong]

Once you put the fender on you can't tell.

are you sure both sides of the axle are positioned right

Yeah I noticed after I had the fender on. Took the damn thing apart to see if anything was wrong. Oh well. Gonna be a ##### to pack it back up

 

[McGarnicle]

Mother####ing ####### PayPal

Someone hacked my account and tried to withdraw $500 from my checking account. The funds are already held. I log into PayPal and someone added a business name to my account called fghdfjfhderk, based in Juneau, Alaska and I see the fraudulent withdrawal. I follow the steps to dispute the transaction and the site tells me it's not a valid transaction ID. So I call PayPal. Currently on hold for 136 minutes and counting.

Not sure if that's a normal hold time for them or if there was a widespread breach...but I would suggest changing your password if you use PayPal ASAP. Or better yet, cancel your account altogether which I'm now strongly considering.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Woke up to my right upper incisor hurting like a son of #####. Am now waiting for the dentist, not that one, to call me back. The hygienist is a hot chick with tattoos, named Monet. That is the only thing positive about that.

Good thing Lady raiders sechs me up this morning.

Happy hump day!!

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Woke up to my right upper incisor hurting like a son of #####. Am now waiting for the dentist, not that one, to call me back. The hygienist is a hot chick with tattoos, named Monet. That is the only thing positive about that.

Good thing Lady raiders sechs me up this morning.

Happy hump day!!

We're still in 1st in AoD despite dropping 4 points yesterday.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Woke up to my right upper incisor hurting like a son of #####. Am now waiting for the dentist, not that one, to call me back. The hygienist is a hot chick with tattoos, named Monet. That is the only thing positive about that.

Good thing Lady raiders sechs me up this morning.

Happy hump day!!

We're still in 1st in AoD despite dropping 4 points yesterday.

and having 3 legit starters on the DL

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Off to the dentist :(

 

[GroveDiesel]

I know we've had our differences regarding certain foods, but we all agree that kale comes straight from the devil's taint, right?

 

[belljr]

Off to the dentist :(

just got back from a crown and it's broke

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I know we've had our differences regarding certain foods, but we all agree that kale comes straight from the devil's taint, right?

you're nutty

kale rules

 

[Annyong]

Is Kale the correct spelling for a boy's name? My friend named his son Kale.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Kale is hideous. It's supposed to be a garnish at best.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I eat kale almost every day during some stretches. it's a super food.

Impressive Anti-Cancer EffectsIn addition to providing a truckload of vitamins and flavonoids, kale contains several glucosinolates including glucobrassicin, glucoraphanin and sinigrin. When you eat kale, these compounds are converted into isothiocyanates in your digestive tract. A large body of evidence suggests that isothiocyanates may help prevent cancer and, in some cases, even suppress the growth of cancerous tumors. Isothiocyanates work their anti-cancer magic by eliminating potential carcinogens from the body, by conferring protection against DNA damage, and by stimulating apoptosis (self-destruction) of cancerous cells.

Most of the research related to isothiocyanates, kale and cancer has focused on colon cancer and breast cancer, but there's also evidence that kale and other foods that contain glucosinolates may also provide protection against prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, and bladder cancer.

http://www.healwithfood.org/health-benefits/kale-superfood.php

if you hate cancer, you should love kale

 

[Captain Quinoa]

I like kale. As a food. Terrible name.

 

[GroveDiesel]

I eat kale almost every day during some stretches. it's a super food.

Impressive Anti-Cancer Effects

In addition to providing a truckload of vitamins and flavonoids, kale contains several glucosinolates including glucobrassicin, glucoraphanin and sinigrin. When you eat kale, these compounds are converted into isothiocyanates in your digestive tract. A large body of evidence suggests that isothiocyanates may help prevent cancer and, in some cases, even suppress the growth of cancerous tumors. Isothiocyanates work their anti-cancer magic by eliminating potential carcinogens from the body, by conferring protection against DNA damage, and by stimulating apoptosis (self-destruction) of cancerous cells.

Most of the research related to isothiocyanates, kale and cancer has focused on colon cancer and breast cancer, but there's also evidence that kale and other foods that contain glucosinolates may also provide protection against prostate cancer, ovarian cancer, and bladder cancer.

http://www.healwithfood.org/health-benefits/kale-superfood.phpif you hate cancer, you should love kale

Good luck with the kidney stones. Kale every day is a pretty good recipe for screaming agony eventually.

 

[heckmanm]

I know we've had our differences regarding certain foods, but we all agree that kale comes straight from the devil's taint, right?

you're nutty

kale rules

I like it. How have you had it prepared, GD?

Cook up some bacon, chop it up, wilt the kale in the drippings, add back the bacon.

 

[Henry Ford]

Mother####ing ####### PayPal

Someone hacked my account and tried to withdraw $500 from my checking account. The funds are already held. I log into PayPal and someone added a business name to my account called fghdfjfhderk, based in Juneau, Alaska and I see the fraudulent withdrawal. I follow the steps to dispute the transaction and the site tells me it's not a valid transaction ID. So I call PayPal. Currently on hold for 136 minutes and counting.

Not sure if that's a normal hold time for them or if there was a widespread breach...but I would suggest changing your password if you use PayPal ASAP. Or better yet, cancel your account altogether which I'm now strongly considering.

Let me guess - ebay password and paypal password the same?

 

[YSR]

Cream it up (from Primal Blueprint):

1 bunch kale, center stems removed, coarsely chopped, rinsed and drained

3 tablespoons unsalted butter or ghee

1 cup heavy cream

Freshly grated nutmeg (optional)

Delicious.

 

[Henry Ford]

I know we've had our differences regarding certain foods, but we all agree that kale comes straight from the devil's taint, right?

No.

 

[McGarnicle]

Mother####ing ####### PayPal

Someone hacked my account and tried to withdraw $500 from my checking account. The funds are already held. I log into PayPal and someone added a business name to my account called fghdfjfhderk, based in Juneau, Alaska and I see the fraudulent withdrawal. I follow the steps to dispute the transaction and the site tells me it's not a valid transaction ID. So I call PayPal. Currently on hold for 136 minutes and counting.

Not sure if that's a normal hold time for them or if there was a widespread breach...but I would suggest changing your password if you use PayPal ASAP. Or better yet, cancel your account altogether which I'm now strongly considering.

Let me guess - ebay password and paypal password the same?

They actually were not. First thing I thought of as well.

Now on hold for 210 minutes.

One thing I forgot to mention -- overnight I received three emails from PayPal IN CHINESE. I translated them on Google -- one confirms my new business in Alaska, one says my account is ready to use(?), and the third confirms the $500 withdrawal. And, they sent me a mail this morning saying they noticed suspicious activity on my account and asked me to confirm my identity and change my password and security questions.

So whenever these cockgobblers finally take my call, I'm going to ask why the person in China was never challenged with security questions, why THEY ALLOWED THE ####### TRANSACTION THAT WAS FLAGGED AS SUSPICIOUS, and WHY DOES IT TAKE 3+ HOURS TO REACH A LIVE PERSON???????

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I have a very mild fracture in my tooth. Only In the enamel. we hope.

Did a mild adjustment to my bite, and we are going to see how it goes.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

PayPal is like 5 billion times worse than Kale

 

[Chaos Commish]

PayPal is like 5 billion times worse than Kale

I can't keep up with this thread but I sometimes just read the most recent post. I think Ruds is right about this.