GM's thread about nothing (17 Viewers)

[Henry Ford]

So I was out with my best friend (who I haven't seen in awhile) and his wife, and she called him shmuckles in public and they gave each other "butterfly kisses."

I stood there agape. I don't think I can speak to him anymore.

hard U or soft U... this is very important.

Like "Smuckers" jam. But she meant it lovingly. I did ask if she just called him a schmuck.

 

[kevzilla]

My total at the convenience store last night was $4.99; I gave the lady a $5 bill.

"You want your change?"



Well, yes, I want my change. And I don't much appreciate you making me look like the jackhole because I want my penny. I have no desire to balance your register, or whatever motivated you to ask me that in the first place. No, the penny doesn't mean that much to me, but it can't mean that much to you, either. It's a f'n penny. You know, the last person used a debit card to buy a sixer of Redd's Apple Ale and three styrofoam vats of Coke, and apparently, effect a hostile takeover of 3M using junk bonds in the process. The line now snakes through your store, and you're haggling over a penny. WTF is wrong with you, anyway?

(I thought, to myself)

 

[mr roboto]

My total at the convenience store last night was $4.99; I gave the lady a $5 bill.

"You want your change?"



Well, yes, I want my change. And I don't much appreciate you making me look like the jackhole because I want my penny. I have no desire to balance your register, or whatever motivated you to ask me that in the first place. No, the penny doesn't mean that much to me, but it can't mean that much to you, either. It's a f'n penny. You know, the last person used a debit card to buy a sixer of Redd's Apple Ale and three styrofoam vats of Coke, and apparently, effect a hostile takeover of 3M using junk bonds in the process. The line now snakes through your store, and you're haggling over a penny. WTF is wrong with you, anyway?

(I thought, to myself)

This is a serious ####### convenience store.

 

[bostonfred]

I honestly don't think you're taking this seriously enough

 

[Annyong]

Starting the morning off with some leftover pizza and beer

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I hate pennies. You can have all of mine, Kev.

 

[Drifter]

Yeah, she asked because most people don't want to deal with pennies

 

[-fish-]

I bought a bag of ice yesterday for $1.99. I handed the cashier $2 and walked away before she could even try to hand me one of those outdated useless coins.

 

[mr roboto]

I bought a bag of ice yesterday for $1.99. I handed the cashier $2 and walked away before she could even try to hand me one of those outdated useless coins.

 

[-fish-]

I'm getting another bag of ice today. I wonder if I should just invest in ice bags.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Didn't know we had anti-penntites in this thread.

 

[Leeroy Jenkins]

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

 

[bostonfred]

Tiger fan missing out on some primo ice buying chat

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Not sure I want to live in a country where the establishment interferes with young love.

 

[kevzilla]

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

Oh, I took the penny, all right. Because the total due was $4.99, not $5.00. I will admit to being frugal, but I will not apologize. I don't make FBG money, so if I want to go to Vegas twice a year, I have to economize elsewhere.

 

[-fish-]

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

Oh, I took the penny, all right. Because the total due was $4.99, not $5.00. I will admit to being frugal, but I will not apologize. I don't make FBG money, so if I want to go to Vegas twice a year, I have to economize elsewhere.

do you play the penny slots?

 

[Disco Stu]

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

Oh, I took the penny, all right. Because the total due was $4.99, not $5.00. I will admit to being frugal, but I will not apologize. I don't make FBG money, so if I want to go to Vegas twice a year, I have to economize elsewhere.

Should have used a cash back credit card. Not only do you get that penny, you also get a few extra pennies.

 

[Disco Stu]

Wasn't there something here about a girl who was afraid of pennies? One of the idating stories?

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm getting another bag of ice today. I wonder if I should just invest in ice bags.

Or an ice machine where people can bring their own reusable bags. Sounds like a money maker.

 

[-fish-]

Wasn't there something here about a girl who was afraid of pennies? One of the idating stories?

i think that was penis

 

[kevzilla]

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

Oh, I took the penny, all right. Because the total due was $4.99, not $5.00. I will admit to being frugal, but I will not apologize. I don't make FBG money, so if I want to go to Vegas twice a year, I have to economize elsewhere.

do you play the penny slots?

No. But if I take every penny that's coming to me, I might get another hand of quarter video poker.

But what happened with the penny? That was his inner dialogue. Did he get the penny? Did he leave it in the take a penny tray? Did she pocket it as part of her own really slow superman 3 scheme?

Oh, I took the penny, all right. Because the total due was $4.99, not $5.00. I will admit to being frugal, but I will not apologize. I don't make FBG money, so if I want to go to Vegas twice a year, I have to economize elsewhere.

Should have used a cash back credit card. Not only do you get that penny, you also get a few extra pennies.

Not gonna borrow money for odds and ends. Besides, you can't buy lottery tickets on a credit card.

I'm just gonna go visit my folks now, and catch up on my abuse later.

 

[Otis]

Please please please tell me the video of shuke on a slip n' slide was posted in here. So so good.

 

[strykerpks]

Wasn't there something here about a girl who was afraid of pennies? One of the idating stories?

I think it was from the "Have you dated a co worker" thread. IIRC you had the best reply:

 

[T Bell]

Not sure I want to live in a country where the establishment interferes with young love.

He was framed.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Not sure I want to live in a country where the establishment interferes with young love.

He was framed.

And she was probably a huge kocktease.

 

[Osaurus]

Watching the Buck Rogers series (the late 70s/80s series not the 30s series Tanner) and damn Wilma was pretty hot. I liked her dressed as Sailor Moon in the later episodes.

 

[Abraham]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

 

[Ignoramus]

My total at the convenience store last night was $4.99; I gave the lady a $5 bill.

"You want your change?"



Well, yes, I want my change. And I don't much appreciate you making me look like the jackhole because I want my penny. I have no desire to balance your register, or whatever motivated you to ask me that in the first place. No, the penny doesn't mean that much to me, but it can't mean that much to you, either. It's a f'n penny. You know, the last person used a debit card to buy a sixer of Redd's Apple Ale and three styrofoam vats of Coke, and apparently, effect a hostile takeover of 3M using junk bonds in the process. The line now snakes through your store, and you're haggling over a penny. WTF is wrong with you, anyway?

(I thought, to myself)

This is a serious ####### convenience store.

More like an inconvenience store, amirite?

 

[mr roboto]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Bring a stroller.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I think I'm still drunk

I discovered a true gem last night. There is an awesome, authentic, open 24 hours, taco joint more or less in my neighborhood. How did I not know about this place until now?

And they sell beer. Cheaply.

Lady raiders, is making a tomato pie. Will report back. It's a first for both of us.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Bring a stroller.

For the beer, obviously.

 

[Abraham]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Bring a stroller.

That's a pretty good idea. I'm mostly pissed that I gave away my skateboard a year ago. Nothing wrong with a man in his late 30's skateboarding through the suburbs with a case of keystone, right?

 

[mr roboto]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Bring a stroller.

That's a pretty good idea. I'm mostly pissed that I gave away my skateboard a year ago. Nothing wrong with a man in his late 30's skateboarding through the suburbs with a case of keystone, right?

Stroller. Wheelbarrow. Red wagon. Riding lawnmower. Golf cart (I think you sold this). Roller skates.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Walk there. Get a ride home. Someone else that is buying booze will understand and take pity on you

 

[mr roboto]

Walk there. Get a ride home. Someone else that is buying booze will understand and take pity on you

What could possibly go wrong?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I'd probably need a case of beer if I tried to watch Nascar too.

 

[Abraham]

I did sell the golf cart. Nice notebook.

My bike has a flat tire. Wife's bike might not. I'll go check on that when the race is over.

 

[Abraham]

I'd probably need a case of beer if I tried to watch Nascar too.

How many cases does it take to watch the Bills?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I'd probably need a case of beer if I tried to watch Nascar too.

How many cases does it take to watch the Bills?

2

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Please please please tell me the video of shuke on a slip n' slide was posted in here. So so good.

The dismount is what sold me.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Bring a stroller.

That's a pretty good idea. I'm mostly pissed that I gave away my skateboard a year ago. Nothing wrong with a man in his late 30's skateboarding through the suburbs with a case of keystone, right?

I wouldn't judge him. In fact I'd think he was pretty cool...until I found out he was all geeked up to watch Neckcar.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Am I supposed to eat the tomato pie while it's hot?

It's pretty good. Messy though. It seems like it would be better cooled.

 

[bentley]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Less than a half mile from HEB and CVS here in the city. IN YOUR FACE, SUBURBS!

 

[Abraham]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Less than a half mile from HEB and CVS here in the city. IN YOUR FACE, SUBURBS!

You aren't in the city. Your realtor tricked your wife with the Austin address, but if you aren't south of 183, north of Ben white, and between 35 and mopac then you aren't in the city.

 

[bentley]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Less than a half mile from HEB and CVS here in the city. IN YOUR FACE, SUBURBS!

You aren't in the city. Your realtor tricked your wife with the Austin address, but if you aren't south of 183, north of Ben white, and between 35 and mopac then you aren't in the city.

I'll be sure to tell everyone in Tarrytown that some internet goober from Round Rock had decided they don't live in Austin.

 

[Abraham]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Less than a half mile from HEB and CVS here in the city. IN YOUR FACE, SUBURBS!

You aren't in the city. Your realtor tricked your wife with the Austin address, but if you aren't south of 183, north of Ben white, and between 35 and mopac then you aren't in the city.

I'll be sure to tell everyone in Tarrytown that some internet goober from Round Rock had decided they don't live in Austin.

The people in Tarrytown don't live in Austin either. Everyone I've ever known from there makes the biggest ####ong deal out of the fact that they live in Tarrytown.

"You live in Austin?"

"Tarrytown, yes."

"Where do you live?"

"In Tarrytown, near campus."

"Where are you from?"

"I grew up in Tarrytown before moving to north Austin"

 

[T Bell]

Wife is gone out of town with our only working vehicle. Mine is in the shop.

I am thankful for the chance to sit around and watch nascar without interruption. But I drank all my beer last night. :(

So I am wondering about walking the 1.25 miles to the convenience store for more. Hm. It's not the walk that would be bad, it's walking home carrying a case of beer.

Isn't this what shopping carts lacking security devices were created for?

 

[T Bell]

Walk there. Get a ride home. Someone else that is buying booze will understand and take pity on you

They might even technically need you in the car to be legal under the terms of their learners permit.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Tarrytown?

 

[Ignoramus]

Actually just had this conversation at a bar:

Idiot: So what's your favorite NFL team?

Me: Denver

Idiot: Who is their quarterback?

Me: Uh, Peyton Manning

Idiot: So who is their manager?

Me: Well, John Fox is the coach...

Idiot: Boy the Texans sure have undergone some changes.